WANTED: PRINCESSES AND/OR FAIRY TAIL CREATURES

I, Lord Farquaad, after much deliberation, have decided to send a message to all the kingdoms of the land: I desire the hand of a princess! Now, Veeky Forums, what princesses do you have to offer me?

I am also still willing to take any Fairy tail creatures off your hands.

Why, Ogre, can't you see that all of these helpless creatures are but simple refugees? And, if I am correct, you have not paid a single property tax on your swamp for the past 35 years. I think you letting in some of these poor creatures is a good enough way to clear off all that debt isn't it? Besides, I hear that cultural diversity is a good thing nowadays!

Besides, if you were to say no, that would clearly expose yourself as a intolerable bigot. You're not a racist, bigot of a ogre, are you?

Clearly, if he has so much wine to be throwing it away freely, he has enough to water the whole kingdom! Guards, take him away, and confiscate his wine! 1 Acre of land to you, my good man!

Do not waste my time with such trivial creatures such as pigeons. Although, in this ones case, keep it. I need some pigeons for my upcoming wedding, and this one is already here.

Nonsense, the swamp is big enough for all. 8 acres to you, 1 acre for each of its legs. A fair trade, no?

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What are the trouser-department requirements of the princess? I've got a few princesses(male) lying about if you want them.

Sire... when searching this old woman's house we discovered some interesting elements...

Princess of the giant kingdom, my lord.

Sir, I retrieved this beast from a group of oddly costumed travellers. They said something in the lines of "mmmuuuh containment procedures" I think. I believe the swamp will do.

I finally caught one M'lord!

I got a princess for you.
How do you like her?

I found this thing >:----------D
What do? :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

...

Oh, it turns out it was a princess all along sir!

Oh, and this one is a... kind of princess, too... If you're into this... Damn, can I capture something that isn't a princess?

While due to her age I would not suggest seeking her hand just yet, my lord, this princess may be in dire need of your protection. Even going undercover in a boarding school has barely protected her from the multitude of grim fates she very nearly befell in the time it took me to write this letter!

I mean, poisoned chocolates! Can you believe it?

I have captured this incredibly large and bipedal beetle-like entity, my lord! It appears to be incredibly skilled in unarmed combat, and is also very fond of all sugary substances!

I found some sort of Squid-Child hybrid milord

I found this thing sire. Claims to be a king, which is impossible since it's a girl.

There was a band of jesters in the woods. We lost sight of them before we could determine whether they were magical or not.

Maybe she's a very confused princess?

Twas why I brought her to our lord.

Found some dark elves. The boy seems to have a gift for beast taming, the girl can do weird nature magic.

>Accidentally linked to a post
Ignore that link

I have located this distressed gelatinous creature! It appears to suffer from constant nightmares, but seems otherwise harmless.

This thing was riding around my farm. Bugs seem to follow it around, in great numbers.

I found this illusive masked creature near my cabin in the woods. He calls himself Candlejack and I believe he is of magical ori...

Fairy tail creatures and/or princesses, you say. M'lord, I have captured a creature that perfectly fits that description!

You should put it in a swamp. Bugs like swamps...

My lord, I have found this creature... It was found in my... medicinal product of totally legitimate origin. I have no clue what to with it, considering it's heart might explode, from it consuming 60 kilos...

>You should put it in a swamp
Well obviously, but I'm turning it in for the Lord's bounty.

As have I!

The most adventurous princess in the land right here m'lord, I guarantee it!

>The boy seems to have a gift for beast taming, the girl can do weird nature magic.

user...

How much for this troll I caught, m'lord?

Simbly ebin xDDDD

I found this one inside of a squashed metal monster, sire!

Is mayonnaise a fairy tail creature?

no mayonnaise is a gender

Don't do tumblr kids

OI LAUHD, AH FOUND DIS CAT-GURL FING WANDERIN' AROUND YA LANDS.

SHE SEZ SHE IZ A PRINCESS FROM ANODDER LAND.

ALSO, HERE'S SUM O' MAH FARM'S BEST LIQWOR AS A GIFT FOR YA HIGHNESS.

I know, it was part of the joke

>tail

Tale, m8. Tale.

He clearly wants Fairy Tail creatures.

Read the previous thread, our Lord decreed the spelling would be changed.

>I desire the hand of a princess!
The princess was most displeased that you only desire her hand, my lord, but we did our best.

Kira, I know its you.

I managed to capture this creature the other day; claims to be some sort of gun god.

We had considerable trouble retrieving this creature - kept running out of firewood because of how cool it was. I would expect my lord to compensate these expenses.

Brought you not one, but two magical beasts, sire. Trouble is, they persuaded me to make an investment while we were on our way to your castle, and now I owe them 300 gold pieces. Would you be so kind to pay on my behalf?

Please put it into the swamp and never let it out

How 'bout this one, m'lord? Quite a fierce one, ain't she?

GET OUT MAH SWAMP, YOU SAWED-OFF QUEER!

I caught a loathsome dwarf with a disgustingly oversized head near the castle grounds! By the way, where's the lord?

MANLETS

I brought a bunch of Nazi Leprechauns and I don't want to talk about it any more.

YOU F O O L

...

I found this thing wandering the land, crushing criminals, perhaps you could find a use for it m'lord?

I found this thing standing by a cliff face, it seems friendly.

My lord, I have found sworn testimony that the Ogre is butfucking little boys!

youtube.com/watch?v=lTzM2WJsoJo

I found this in a cave my lord, it killed my entire guards watch! It eats brains! I can give you the location of its lair (i believe it guards eggs), but as a mayor i insist you warn your men.

Got this half-dwarf just for you.

...Oomies really ARE dumber den snotlings sometimes.
'cept Lord Fahquaad of course.