So let me get this straight

So let me get this straight.

The most powerful psyker in the galaxy is in charge of the biggest bunch of most easily corruptible chumps in the galaxy. His appearance, voice, everything about him changes depending on who he's talking to, suggesting he determines how he appears to people, and to the majority of plebs, he appears as a 12 foot tall adonis in shining golden armour with a fucking halo.

This guy somehow got the most in-fightyest species in the galaxy outside of the Orks to work together and unite under one banner, under his rule, and again, he's the most powerful psyker in the galaxy, and they're easily manipulated chumps, as is repeatedly shown.

He gets them to build him a massive golden palace on Terra, the size of a large city or small country depending on who's writing about it, and inside it, in secret, he builds a massive solid gold fucking throne which is powered by human souls, and which amplifies his psychic power like crazy.

So you have a guy who is out and out openly known to have been subtly influencing humanity for millenia now openly in charge of the entire species, wearing a crown, sitting on a giant golden throne... and you think he's the good guy?

“But wait”, you cry, “it's not like he WANTS to be worshipped! He bitchslapped Lorgar for writing a book, remember?”

Yeah, he bitch slapped him for writing it TOO SOON. Before he was ready to sit on his golden throne and actively psychically dominate the entire species at once and use them as zombie slaves to build more giant golden statues.

He wasn't ready to be worshipped yet, absorbing all that power, and he was afraid people would notice it. And they did. He didn't stop Lorgar in time. The people who listened to Lorgar, and those already worshipping him, made ripples in the warp. That's how the Chaos Gods realized a new challenger had appeared.

So Lorgar just accidentally revealed the Emperor's true intentions too soon, and everything that happened afterwards, from the Heresy to getting stabbed in the kidney, is just a happy coincidence that stopped this sociopathic monster from psychically dominating the species.

Yep. That's totally it.

But wait,” you cry still, “he's sitting on the throne now! And being worshipped! And he hasn't dominated the minds of anyone yet!”

Exactly. In those thousands of years, despite being an almost entirely secular society, it somehow reverted to mysticism? I wonder how that might have happened. Maybe a demi-god close to death and yet still more psychically powerful than any other hundred special characters glued together subtly influencing the minds of billions of people over the course of millenia is slowly getting his plan back on track.

Getting nearly-killed was, to his mind, just a temporary setback, relatively speaking. The Emperor is being worshipped, daily, by billions and trillions of people. Almost enough to equal the power generated for the other gods by the acts which power them. In fact, I'd argue, trillions of humans will do a lot more worshipping than they will killing, dying and fucking. So he's probably stronger than the other chaos gods by now.

The Emperor won, because this was his goal all along, and it's just happened a different way than he hoped.

No. But then again, I don't believe that he's really been subtly manipulating people for millennia, either. I'm sure it's just a coincidence that the psychic superhuman warrior-king emerged from his hiding at the same time that the governments of the world were experimenting with genetically engineering psychic superhuman warriors. He's definitely not an escaped lab experiment that made up his entire backstory to sound cool.

“But wait!” you cry even louder, “What about everything that's happened in the new lore?”

I'm glad you asked. Girlyman wakes up, sees how fucked everything is. Wonders “why the fuck isn't my super psychic dad, you know, using his psychic powers to correct everyone?”

Immediately decides to go to Terra. Speaks to his dad. Luckily, being in stasis for millenia, he's not been psychically corrupted like everyone else has. To him it's only been a few nanoseconds, where as everyone else has been subjected to generations of mind control.

Cypher shows up and says “Dude look how fucked everything is.” Girlyman is like “DUDE! I know!” so they go to Terra together, and along the way Cypher fills Girlyman in on all the shit that his dad has just been letting happen because he doesn't actually give a shit as long as people worship him.

In fact, he lets him know that people who believe in the Emperor hard enough can summon Demons (Legion of the Damned), or perform Miracles (Sisters of Battle). In fact, the Emperor is intentionally only intervening when it will generate the most belief, and lets shit get fucked up because it makes people pray to him harder when they're being killed, and of course, anyone who dies praying to him? Maybe that's how his chaos power works. Maybe he absorbs your soul if you die believing in him. So he's been feeding on the power of trillions of agonized souls. Heck, that's basically what the Ecclesiarchy SAYS happens.

So they get to Terra, and the Custodes are like “Dude, who's this Green Cunt.” And Girlyman, confident in Cypher's plot armour and ability to escape, and having planned this ahead of time in order to win favour by capturing a “known criminal”, turns him in. Now everyone's buddy buddy, Girlyman demands to see his dad.

So he walks in and The Emperor, shitting himself, realizes unlike everyone else Girlyman's brain hasn't been absorbing his bullshit like a sponge and has enough wherewithal to remember how things used to be, and enough not-being-a-retard to realize the Emperor wouldn't have let shit get this bad unless he wanted it to.

He tells his dad he's been a dick, and cuts his fucking head off. He then proclaims himself “Emperor 2.0” and says “Welcome to Imperium Secund- FUCK I mean...”

However, he has to go along with the Emperor's bullshit for a while, as it's the best way to win the Imperium to his side, until he can effectively de-mindfuck and deprogram all the brainwashed mongoloid cavemen fucking each other in the ass with iPads because they don't remember how they work.

He gets a lot of bad press for basically trying his same bullshit from the Heresy again. So he does the best thing to do in this situation, declare a fucking Crusade, and make new Space Marines, to get everyone back on his side. He goes to the Mechanicum who, luckily, have managed to somewhat resist the Emperor's mindfuckery by turning their heads into actual fucking calculators. As a result, their ass-backwards religion kind of makes sense, and they don't necessarily think the Emperor is a god. After all, if you're going to worship anything, science, logic, knowledge, pretty good choices. At the very least they still retain SOME of the knowledge and drives of the original Great Crusade.

So the Emperor is dead, and good riddance. He was the ultimate bad guy. Girlyman saved us all by fucking killing him.

And put on a big fucking halo...

Oh no.

Sage

No one cares nigger

>pic related

Seconded.

rollin'

>posting girls
what are you gay

wat

...

Wayne rolls.

God-Fucking Dammit. Not again...

The golden throne is an eldar relic that he found and was using to take over part of the webway for mankind to use. That is why he was so mad at Magnus for short-circuiting the thing when he broke through the webway he was building. Other than that, this stuff isn't wrong. Emperor entity was extremely manipulative and there are no "good" guys in 40k.

Rollin. Gimme megane girls 8, 2, 00, please.

The palace on Terra isn't the size of a nation. It has always been an entire continent- asia minor.

Rollarino pistachio

Dude walls of text

might as well roll

not quite what was planned

His grand scheme was for the betterment of the human race, and no-one else could be trusted with it because everyone else is fucking short-sighted and stupid, as seen with Horus. He might not be a 'good' guy, but he was acting with good intentions for his own species. Take off your tinfoil hat
Rollin

Never thought of that, that's pretty cool actually

Might as well.

On the one hand I'm not an autist about lore purity so I don't really care that you're looking at cannon sideways and through a few distorted lenses, and it's actually a pretty interesting premise. One of my favorite fan theores is Guiliman was in fact the traitor all along not Horus, and you have to really squint and twist your head sideways to see that one. However on the other hand the way you've presented this theory leads me to believe you are a massive cunt.

I'm torn about whether or not to revile you.

let me answer this for you

i even hate myself, so you know, go ahead

Sure, let's roll.

Wait, I thought it was Europe?

rollerino

Asia minor isn't a continent.

I like the cut of your tinfoil iron halo, but if the emperor is dead long live the emperor, who is phone when navigators call the lighthouse?

You know if you don't like yourself and aren't happy you can change that. It's entirely possible, I assure you. I know from personal experience. The process is by no means pleasant, but it is entirely doable.

>Gulliman is actually a daemonhost for the Emperor
>the stasis actually just kept the body alive just enough for the emperor to slowly put his mind into
>this was a slow process, since his body was actually in stasis
>Guliman doesn't actually know that he is the Oversoul of the Emperor, while the body on the throne is essentially just running on auto pilot while Guliemps runs around fixing everything

R-R-Rollin' in the name of the Emperor

...

roll

Fuck it, let's take a spin.

That's heresy but I like it

There's no really compelling evidence that the Emperor is an important component to the Astronomican at all. It might just be what happens when you feed a gazillion psyker souls to the Golden Throne, whether someone's sitting on it or not. The Emperor had himself interred there to leech some of that power away to keep himself alive, and the Astronomican is if anything stronger now that he's no longer tapping power from the Throne to sustain himself.

Aye Aye.

>does all that shit and basically lives and acts like a god
>gets mad when people start calling him a god and treating him like a god
>N-NUH UH IM JUST HOOMEN LIKE REST OF YOU NOT A GOD EVEN THOUGH I ACT LIKE ONE AND AM BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE
Seriously how in the fuck did he think that was a good idea? He wanted a secular society so he decided to unit humanity by becoming an omnipotent ruler clad in gold who has monuments and palaces built in his name, and actively makes himself look like an angel to all his subjects, and gets mad when they act like he's a god. What the fuck was Big E's problem? It's like he was actively TRYING to undermine his own quest.

I lol'd. Thx for the texts OP. Gold.

not a bad theory, but you have to keep in mind that the emperor is wired to the astronomican, if he was dead then all navigators in the imperium would see it

>he was acting with good intentions for his own species
Yeah, like Craftworld Eldar, or Tau, or Newcrons...

>gameline in which the narrator is pushing faction propaganda
>dude who is trying to look past that uses "a few distorted lenses"

Rollan

Ah fuck yissss

rollan

>and to the majority of plebs, he appears as a 12 foot tall adonis in shining golden armour with a fucking halo.

No, the golden armour is actually real.

Yup, sums it up pretty well.