You have been given a chance to write a letter to the emperor of mankind

give magnus a phone

1. Lorgar will betray you quick if you reject his book, don't do that, he will be loyal if you allow him to think of you as a god.
2. Some of the people on the planet he comes from are chaos currropted, especially his inner circle.
3. Your son Horus will meet a group called the interex. They may be really weird but they have the only idea of how to deal with chaos correctly.
4. Elrad of the eldar will try to help you, although the eldar love to trick hes being legit, don't blow him off,
5. Teach your sons about the dangers of chaos, and have them fight in pairs.
6. Argon and kurse will be pyschologically messed up, get them some help.
7. Please don't make Horus war master.

Please please please teach your sons about chaos, they really need to know, and it will stop you from ending up dead

Not all of your sons can be saved or trusted. Dont give them armies blindly.

You are not as powerful, or as far seeing, as you think you are. Do not fall to hubris.

Chaos is an infection that grows is darkness and secrecy. Exposing it to the light is your only chance to prevent its spread.

>Kill your kids, they're more trouble than they're worth.

Let Angron bring his friends

H. With strikethrough and no other effects.

Hopefully that'll get the message across. I wish I could use a whole word or something.

Ur Custodies are secretly gay for you

Make sure you have the golden throne padded.

SOMETHIN ON YO MIND? I dig, No problem. Yeah? Oh, is that it? I read ya, Sir. Whadda you want? Yeah, I'm goin!

I have to admit, it would be funny just to see his face after he sees it.

I'd like to think the sheer absurdity of someone reaching through space and time to deliver this to him would make him laugh for so long that the great crusade would never happen

Well that or a long pause, then pic related

Magnus, if you're ever in a situation where you think smashing through the webway I have taken 9000 years to build is a good idea, don't do that. Just walk around the damn thing, it has doors.

Dear emprah

ALL I EVER WANTED WAS THE TRUTH

When you find subject 13th, kill him because he will betray your ideals and side with aliens.

finish your work on the webway before starting the great crusade.

I believe in you. Don't fuck up.

And tell Magnus to stay the fuck away from it.

the pdf of the horus heresy books

Secrets create Distrust. Distrust Sows Doubt. Doubt begets Betrayal.

Thank you.

>people warn Emps about Horus
>not warning him about the fuckwit Lorgar and the little cunt known as Erebus

At the end of the day, Lorgar isn't the one that crippled Emps

And if it wasn't for those 2 fuckwits, Horus would never have turned traitor in the first place.

Your plans will fail in their current state because you assume everyone else will follow them to the letter.

Be attentive to the Primarch's needs and strengths, this will ensure they will want to follow you and build a better future.

Abandon the idea of killing off the Space Marines when the Great Crusade is over. As soon as they figure it out you'll have an unstoppable enemy on your hands, and there are enemies within the Galaxy and from outside who are coming which you will need the Marines to have a chance of defeating.

If one of your sons turns against you shoot to kill
There is no coming back from being a traitor
Angron has severe problems due to the nails in his head, don't give him more by not saving the slaves on his planet.
Religions have by and large worked as a shield against chaos better than atheism, don't punish lorgar for his book and revise the imperial truth.

Let pertirabo design and build the imperial palace.
Chaos is the enemy who has it out for you the most, try to weed it out of your space marine legions as much as possible

This is good. This one.

>Giving a Vague ass warning when you could explain in detail what he fucked up and how he could prevent it.
Are you by any chance an Eldar?

Yo, when you recruit Lorgar, make sure to kill off his buddies Khor and Erebus

Trust me on this, mate

Also, if you want people to follow your plans, ACTUALLY BE SPECIFIC ON WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO DO INSTEAD OF PURPOSELY BEING VAGUE AND MYSTERIOUS

Local single Eldar farseers in a Craftworld near you~

He probably wouldn't mind the Eldar if they weren't so far up their own ass that they shit out of their mouth.

These two are the best, except
>let wittle pewt build his castle
Fuck that faggot, you get the best man for the job, and that man is Dorn. But yea, give him his praise or some shit.

I would actually lay out the Heresy as detailed as possible without writing a book. Then i would recommend he tucks in his sons every night and reads them a story, fix Angron ASAP, and help Konrad with his visions. Oh, also kill those two faggots Khor and Erebus, and purge Cochis of all remants of Old Faith while explaining it to Lorgar as truthfully as possible, but as much as he can handle it. Then let him worship the concept of human supremacy and the Imperial Truth, and say The Emperor embodies these things (much how he does anYwayWHOOOPS). Then reiterate that he should REALLY be a better dad.
Then warn him of the Tyranids and Necrons.

Erebus and Kor Phaeron will turn many of the Primarchs to Chaos. Make their heads explode before they get the chance. Tell Magnus and Horus what you're doing with the Webway and why it's so important.

In addition to #6. Don't fucking just take Angron away from his rebel forces. He will resent you for it. Fight with him to free his people, it will show him you're a worthy leader instead of embittering him toward you.

The names of each of his sons, along with the order in which he'll find them.
Then the fate of each of his sons.
Then a warning that all of this can change if he doesn't make Horus (or any of the treacherous Primarchs... or Guilliman... or Lion) the Warmaster.

Now, that might just be read quickly and discarded but when he finds each of his sons in the right order and can check the names, that should ring a bell.

Don't beleive his lies
And written on a picture of fulgrim

Always do the opposite of what Eldrad says.

Leto II did it better and faster

You will have 3 bad sons you need to kill as soon as you find them,Their names are Perturabo,Lorgar and Konrad.The last 2 should be killed by exterminatus,the population of their planets is too far gone.

Try to keep psychic focus on XII,he will become the fourth bad apple if you don't protect him.

Teach you people the truth about chaos,and create a special taskforce to find and destroy cultists.

There is a sleeping xenos race that can be saved,they're called Necrons.They want new(and preferably immortal) bodies and know much more than you do.Try to make allies with them.

The Cult Mechanicus is a bunch of backstabbing fools.Fixing them is more trouble than it's worth.Exterminatus Mars and repopulate it with loyal people that know the scientific method.

Your best son is Sanguinius.Make him warmaster.

the lion is super gay dont let him near the custodes

I kek'd hard at this.

You're too much of an arrogant twat to listen to anything I say regardless of what proof I provided, so I'm not even going to bother warning you about how you are going to fuck up and try to get you to prevent your mistakes. You'd probably just make things even worse anyway even if you tried. Carry on exactly as you had planned, oh master of mankind.

THRONE-EMPEROR

YOU MUST KILL THE TAU BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE

THEY WILL DESTROY US ALL

SEND THE ULTRAMARINES TO SAVE US

THEY ARE OUR ONLY HOPE

Keep the Orks in check, but don't wipe them out.
The Imperium of Mankind will need them as a buffer zone in 10,000 years when[REDACTED BY ORDER OF THE INQUISTION]

get assfucked by necron lol

Make sure the Imperium has universal healthcare because otherwise you're going to end up paying 10,000+ years of health care bills.

NIGGER

>saving the galaxy from riptide cheese
You're a good man.

Haha this made me laugh.

>Perturabo, Lorgar and Konrad are beyond saving but Angron isn't
>Mortarion not even mentioned
>advising him to get into war with the fucking Adeptus Mechanicus
>making anyone but Lion Warmaster (this coming from a huge Sangfag)
Heretic plz.

don't forget possibly the most retarded aspect of his post

>Dude, the necrons are like totally awesome, you should totally like be friends and stuff.

I couldn't even begin to address that one.

>There is a sleeping xenos race that can be saved,they're called Necrons.

Horus did 9/11.

He did 911 9/11s

Prefix the letter with "This is what will happen on your current course. Read Well and Learn."

Then proceed to write out the entire catalogue of horus heresy novels into the letter.
Best case scenario he learns.
Worst case scenario, the terrible writing kills him and none of it happens.

>bread

>milk

>eggs

>cheese

>Kor Phaeron's severed head

>a giant neon sign in the warp saying

>DO NOT TOUCH IMPORTANT PSYCHIC SHIT
>to put next to the Webway project.

>DO not trust this man

010000100110010100100000011100110111010101110010011001010010000001110100011011110010000001100100011100100110100101101110011010110010000001111001011011110111010101110010001000000110111101110110011000010110110001110100011010010110111001100101

>get a giant sign

>write 'i am not a god' on it

>under that, write 'but treat me like one'.

A crummy commercial?

No, let him die with his friends, then let the Warhounds wreck the world and fold them into the Blood Angels.
Make Angron a matyr to be revered throughout the Legions.

>What do you write to the emperor?
Where to find the Cabal

Which Primarchs to kill right after finding them (Horus, Curze, Angron, Fulgrim, Lorgar, Mortarion)

Be honest with Magnus from the start

Make Sanguinius Warmaster

>Live in a world where there is Objectively a magical real that bends reality to the will of a user
>Is an athiest

How can you be such a hypocritical faggot? Logar did nothing wrong.

>Make sperg master Sanguinis with his shit tier gene seed War Master
>No Lorgar

You wot m8?

Sanguinius embodies everything that is good and noble in mankind; he's the perfect figurehead for the Crusade.
His warriors occasionally sperging out can be kept secret easily enough.

Lorgar without chaos is only a indecisive little runt who commands zero respect among his brothers and is too deeply rooted in his religious tendencies to be worth the trouble of keeping him alive.

I'm other words

>Reee Lorgar believes in gods and magic in a universe where gods and magic objectively exist

Faggot whose gene seed makes it's inheritors go insane says what?

everyone in this thread missing the fact, that each and every plan of the emperor succeeded to the last detail. oh no my sons are going to betray me on nonono. oh no i am going to get wounded just enough, to justify beeing fed thousands of human sacrifices every day without looking like the bloodhungry god i really am. oh i so deeply care for humanity and the empire that i have build and didnt just do it all to become a true god. i would never ever ever make a deal with my 4 chaos buddyboygods to extend war and suffering almost infinetly

>>cackling noises in the background while bigE shares a cold drink with tzeentch

>>Reee Lorgar believes in gods and magic in a universe where gods and magic objectively exist

No, Lorgar's antiquated believes run in direct opposition to Big E's plans for humanity and make him and everyone close to him subceptible to chaotic influences.

Rolled 4 (1d100)

My Emperor,

I regret to inform you that Ordo Chronos has changed this letter to prevent tampering with space-time. Trust Horus.

Your servant,

Ted.

...

The emperor himself is what makes everyone vulnerable to chaotic influence, he's too much if a sperg to realize that first and foremost that when their is an entire dimension of energy that can warp reality around it, a materialist understanding of the world is pointless. Athiesm doesn't exist in the 40k universe as an objective belief. In every ontological sense of the word , the emperor is a "god" as well, and he himself turned his sons away from him and into the arms of chaos. Not only is he a god , he is shitty god as well. He just doesn't fit the Christian narrative of an omnipotent God. That's it.

What a faggy message. This wouldn't change a damn thing.

when you discover angron BEAM DOWN WITH A FUCK BILLION OF YOUR CUSTODES AND HELP HIM!

dont let horus get sick

fucking talk to your kids man. explain your fucking plans so they dont fuck them up by accident

isnt that the motto of the archbetrayer club currently known as the dark angels?

...

>he read chaos lore and believed it
How do you explain fate points then.

Its not in the emperors benefit to be mortally wounded by chaos and sit upon the golden throne, he wouldnt just do that to continue a useless war so he could sit emaciated for the rest of time.

The one who wins the god battle gets the entire warp as an energy source all to themselves. There is no strength in creating war and suffering. The chaos gods only do that to conceal the fact that they are trying to use realspace as a energy source.

"Do you swallow?"

-Love, Slaanesh

>Their names are Perturabo,Lorgar and Konrad.The last 2 should be killed by exterminatus

They're perpetuals, unless you damage the soul they'll regenerate it.

The Chaos Gods aren't what you think they are, and if you destroyed them that would actually be a very bad thing.

>How do you explain fate points then.
It lies within the interest of the chaos pantheon (which bigE is a vital part of) to keep the war going. helping both sides is the trick here.

>Its not in the emperors benefit to..
it sure is. who says his wounds were truly mortal? the soul is what makes the emperor the emperor and his soul is beeing fed more than it could ever be in a peaceful empire.

>The one who wins the god battle gets the entire warp as an energy source all to themselves.
that is just plain wrong. chaos as we know it is by definition the result of strife and discord. a vicotry for any god would just result in a short-term burst of power and a longterm mass starvation. they have seen what the c'tan did and do not want to repeat it

His soul has been fed less since the House Heresy there is no way him being a throne NEET where his soul passes into the Immaterium eventually is beneficial to him. His soul gets destroyed via that process and becomes food for chaos

...

so i know how this must sound from somebody who tries to argue for the "9/11 was an inside job" of the warhammer universe, but i feel you are just making things up now. there is no way to know in what state bigE's soul is at the moment. we know he gets involved in all his divine blessing shenanigans and we know that his power is the same power as the chaos gods (see celestine loosing her powers the same as the rest of the chaos forces on cadia). and i would argue, that while the HH was a pinpoint of strife and suffering on a galaxywide scale, the grimdark world of 40k is just as fucked up. for the regular imperial citizen evern more.

Emperor! You need to stop Guilliman before he goes full retard and builds super duper marines!

If less psykers die dedicating themselves to the emperor, then he isn't as powerful. Wtf, and it's always been assumes that the emperor is no longer mortal but his soul will leave when his corpse is ashes like Malcador

>It lies within the interest of the chaos pantheon (which bigE is a vital part of) to keep the war going. helping both sides is the trick here.
Circular argument fallacy
>it sure is. who says his wounds were truly mortal?
All the high lords of terra, all of the loyal primarchs. Basically everyone that matters. Lemme guess, you can come up with a plausibility for that too. Your whole argument is plausibilities.
>that is just plain wrong. chaos as we know it is by definition the result of strife and discord.
So says chaos. And really, who are you going to trust? I mean, the emperor is sustained by 1000 souls a day. But every soul committed to chaos is eaten by one of the dark gods. Which of these two is the lesser evil. This is just a rhetorical question, not an opportunity to come up with another plausibility.

Anyway, good night.

...

If you want people to stop worshipping god's stop acting like a maniacal old testament deity raining fire from the heavens on anyone who goes against you.

K thanks

That's....I don't even know what number that is!