Aw fuck. The living dread fortress Castlevania has arisen once again, and evil and darkness cursed the land...

Someone who really really hates vampires

I vote for the guy who killed Dracula for good. Mostly.

Hey, isn't Netflix making a Castlevania show?

Fuck yes they are, basing it on Castlevania 3 as well.

Yes, Netflix is putting together a Castlevania cartoon.

Does he have a nice booty?

>Kill the devil
>Raise his reincarnation like an uncle, turn him to the side of good

Who needs a fancy whip when I can already do the impossible with my bare fucking hands?

Your bare hands have to contain some of his own power to use against him or it does absolutely nothing.

The whip contains the soul of a vampire who only helps her own descendants, who shares the same blood as the guy who Dracula artificially took vampirism from.

How did that whole "Being overthrown by lesser Exalts" thing work out for you?

Minor setback.

And then that whole "Loosing 90% of the population followed by entire swathes of the world being unmade thing?"

Well hold on now. The Exalted were created to kill beings who couldn't even conceive of their own deaths, and did it really fucking well. They LITERALLY do the impossible.

So if killing Dracula even temporarily is impossible without the Vampire Killer, then it should be well within the ability of any of the Exalted, especially the Solars.

The real question is whether the Exalt in question would go completely bugfuck crazy before they could kill Drac.

A slightly less-minor setback.

Not sure how it would work between settings.

Dracula exists because an alchemist pissed off that god let his wife die while he was fighting in the crusades figured out how souls work, then experimented by stealing the soul of a vampire and absorbing all the positives with none of the negatives then took it a step further by literally making the grim reaper himself into a slave.

Dracula basically figured out the cheatcode to reality and became close second to the omnipotent God himself.

Dracula is just fucked because his own energy is the only thing that works against him, and that vampire who's soul he stole made the first Belmont's wife into a vampire. So his energy is her energy is the energy of Belmonts. Add that to his top general who could create life from literally nothing turning against him and his son always trying to stop him.

I think only energy copying abilities would hurt him. Kirby as a rough example. But even then, Dracula can only be delayed until whatever Julius did to reincarnate him as a mortal.

True, Julius is the definitive end of Dracula. But I'm sure there's charms that would allow stealing/reflecting of an opponent's energy for use against them, particularly for the Sidereals. And if not, you could always make a custom charm to do exactly that. Or, if you wanna get REALLY goofy, you could use Glorious Solar [Vampire Killer].

Vampires would be considered creatures of darkness, too, so any Holy charm would really fuck up their day; Dracula might be more resistant, but probably wouldn't get off scot-free either.

...shit, now I wanna run an Exalted campaign set in the Castlevania universe. Which Deathlord fits Drac the best?

>Death

user, the 'Death' in the Castlevania series isn't actually the grim reaper. It's a demon who is a total poser deciding to be an edgelord because he unironically thinks the grim reaper is the coolest thing ever.

>his top general who could create life from literally nothing turning against him
Curse of Darkness?

Looks like it's time to smite all the evil

So a solar exalt, a crusader and settra the imperishable walk into a castle and slay some vamps

I would pay good money to see it,

Also Anima Conversion when?

This thing offends me.
I will go.

t. Knight of Thay

Yep.
Since Alucard went emo and refused to kill humans when Dracula decided being good just gets your reincarnated wife killed, he lured in kids who could talk to the Fey and gave them supreme powers. They created a lot of the monsters that exist in the world and lead them like generals, but when Trevor and company marched on Dracula one of the generals got cold feet and decided to go civilian and the other general went after him, leaving the monsters leaderless and letting the heroes reach and kill Dracula.
So Death fought a time traveler while manipulating the two generals into resurrecting Dracula. Since the wife of the traitor was killed by the loyalist and killing wives makes shit get real in Castlevania, the traitor killed the loyalist alongside Trevor then beat Dracula again. Then he marries a witch and disappears from continuity, but he's probably someone's ancestor.

A Belnades ancestor, maybe?

His descendants could have married into that family, yeah.

It would explain summoning powers of someone down the line, but only Nathan Graves comes to mind and he's non-canon.

Castlevania Judgment basically says he's the real god of death, but gods aren't really a big deal in Castlevania anyway. All it means is that he can't be permanently killed, the power of Chaos will summon him just like it does the Dark Lord.

Yo

It's a fucking pachinko machine, how much of a threat can it really be?

Even a pachinko machine can be dangerous when it's full of ambulatory skeletons and the Grim Reaper.

What the fuck is this, Goosebumps or some shit?

Player beware, you're in for a scare.

Are You Afraid Of The Dark?

Wait though. Is Dracula actually in the house or is it just another poser trying to replace/revive/reincarnate him?

Uncertain.

That's Sardo! No Mr., emphasis on the 'doh'!

I believe you'll find that the Count has retired indefiently after suffering a considerably loss, to myself, in a game of Chinese Checkers.

...

I laughed far to hard at this.

I believe this is yours, sir.

The real question is: What do you have to do to fuck some monstrous ass.

Cause lets face it, Dracula is damn sexy.

He DOES have a certain Old World charm...

This would make for a PERFECT episode of Animaniacs.

Jesus FUCK, I'd watch the hell out of that.

Everybody, because hoping that someone else will do it is for goblin puke-balls and no one wants to be called a goblin puke-ball.

A blood death knight. There's probably a bounty, and he's defeated shit much worse than vampires.

'TIS I! Never fear, Simon Belmont is here!

Dracula's powers literally come from the in-universe opposite to the capital G God, Chaos in-setting. There is no way in hell a Solar Exalt could oppose something like that, atleast not without something utterly insane like the Vampire Killer, or being a reincarnation of Dracula himself. Hell, even if a Solar SOMEHOW managed to enter the Chaotic Realm and managed to get through it to Chaos, they would be completely at it's mercy as it strips all their abilities from them and used their own powers against them.

Integrity Protecting Prana & Ghost Eating Technique (and perfects) say lol no.

Perfects don't really help when you are facing the very embodiment of all evil and thel iteral opposite to the Creator himself in it's own realm, where it has full control. Solars would be raped, and even if Chaos couldn't steal their abilities, it could still wear them out until they inevitably run out of everything they could possibly throw at it.

Children, different universes, different rules.

Exalted guy, fuck off, Other guy stop engaging him and shitting up the thread.

I have waited seven years for this repost...

Very well. Besides I wasn't really wanting to get into a full blown shit-throwing competition with him, just pointing out that an Exalts abilities likely wouldn't work when you are facing something of Chaos' caliber. Of course the whole scenario is based on whether Exalts or other characters that could be chosen to be thrown into the meatgrinder could even reach Chaos.

I came to beat some monstrous ass and chew gum,
and I'm all out of gum.

Oh I agree with you, I just don't like reading people wank the shit out of their favorite RPG characters.

Even though I do with it Strike Legion.

Original Exalted guy here, not >53580815, I was just curious if the whole "Exalted were created specifically to kill the fathers of gods" thing was enough to overcome Dracula's Vampire Killer-specific damage immunity, since he's essentially a deific being himself, empowered by an even greater deific being.

...and now I'm picturing Dracula as Chaos' Exalt. Which is a whole other brand of fucked up.

It's all fun and games for everyone until they reach the deepest crypt. The walls are lined with massive armors in the dozen. The massive armors then start moving and are about to attack the heroes. They're now facing a dozen of pic related.

No one mentioned the titular memebr of those discussions.
If a Chapter of Space Marines assalted Dracula castle who would win?

Space Marines start deployed outside castle with no vehicles and no atillery/air/space support.

They are trained to take servants of CHaos after all.

Major differences between 40k Chaos, and Castlevania Chaos. One is the combined mass of all the emotions of every sentient in the galaxy that has become so twisted and warped from the clusterfuck that everything has turned into that it has become corruptive and evil. Whilst the other is literally the pure embodiment of every single evil force in the Castlevania universe, and is the direct opposite and equal to God Himself. Castlevania Chaos is a lot closer to Azathoth than it is the Chaos that Space Marines are usually trained to fight.

It already is.

Don't go without Best Boy.

Close, but no cigar.
Wouldn't it be perfect for them to come in at
"Enough talk, have at you!"
>Whoa, whoa, whoa, the budget for this episode ran out at bribing the censors to ignore the religion comment!

>Fucker who wants to get his own ass kicked so badly he reincarnated as a fuck toy just to do it in Japan.

No reason to do anything, little shit will kill himself eventually.

You've reminded me of that Castlevania boss rush fangame where Duke Nukem is a playable character.

serio.piiym.net/cvbla/

A solar figures out how to emulate the energy perfectly and infuse it into his fists via training montage.

For shits and giggles, throw in a Xenomorph, a Predator, a Combat Synth and a Colonial Marine rookie

Man, I hated that boss fight. The double jump just fucks up my usual rhythm. Had to unlearn my usual combo and actually pay attention.

Inner Dracula is a rather brutal boss in all aspects, which is rather fitting for the literal manifestation of Castlevania's own power trying to get Dracula to accept it again.

>Go in

Going into castles is beneath me.

>or watch him fuck it all up and put him down yourself