A confounding conjurer has transformed your entire party into vipers. What is your next move?

This. He should have thought of this and he brought it on himself.

>you will never lie on a rock in the sun together with your favorite female party member, entwining your infinitely flexible bodies around each other in absolute ecstasy as you bathe in the warmth of the late afternoon
Why even live?

Don't know about you, but most of that is manageable while being a standard human.

Are you a Veeky Forums memer(more like /hiss/) trying to subtly bring your shit threads to Veeky Forums?

No - that guy was posting about anaconda transformations, not viper transformations.

>bite him
>live the cool snek life
>occassionally use your mental capacity to guide local fauna to feasts and aquire snek harem
>cause local snake chaos by using your superior intelect
>go away before adventures arrive to try to solve the problem
>become unique enough to be recognized as a dangerous viper/king viper/whatever the fuck they come up with
>go down in legend as a mighty beast to be forever told in legends and stories.

Easy fame bro.

also snek orgy

Vell, I guess ve start viping.

Make our own gang.
Tunnel Snakes rule!

We start smoking a shit ton of reefer and playing some old fashioned jazz, because we've apparently been turned into pot smokers from early 20th century Harlem, NY.C aka "vipers".

youtube.com/watch?v=Lm-L9uMxzQA

>bite him
>watch him die
>transform back into my human form
>speak tongues to the viper party
>figure out how to reverse the spell
>rob the late conjurer rip blind
>be on our way
t. Druid

With the wizard dead, we go find a nice druid that's willing to hear us out or at least turn us into something with limbs

He's a conjurer, not a transmuter. These vipers aren't my party, just random conjured vipers. Clearly he sent my party somewhere and I have to find them.

SPBP

We crucify the Galilean and establish a successful international banking cabal

I crawl into his mouth and burst from his chest?

Slide.

no steppy

enter anus

This is my fetish.

WE'RE THE TUNNEL SNAKES
THAT'S US

I'm a motherfucking snake, why would I even want to go back to being human?

In all seriousness, though, I'd probably find a fairy to help me out.

>Willingly putting yourself in a situation in which you owe a fae being a favor
You just went full-retard user.

Oh, come on user, you gotta love fey. Even when things go wrong, at least its interesting. Besides, eventually they warm up to you, and if they betray you, that's what you have cold iron for.

I mean, really, what would they do to me that could possibly make my current predicament worse?

Trick some bushmen into shoving you into a sick human's anus to cure an ailment.

Yeah but snake girls dont have standards.

Kinky...

avoid this bird

> just out on a morning stroll, dum dee dum
> OH FUCK A SNAKE LET ME GET THAT MOTHERFUCKER
> DIE BITCH DIE
> DON'T YOU RUN FROM ME YOU LITTLE WHORE
> COME BACK HERE BITCH
> YEAH, KICK THAT SHIT
> KILL HIM REAL GOOD, RIP AND TEAR
> Yeah, he's dead, but I'm gonna keep kicking, fuck yeah
> I'm a bird, fuck yeah
fuk u snek, birbs rool

Now that we are reptilian, we can finally become part of the ruling caste. Our thanks, conjurer, we will be merciful to you because of your services.

We enlist in the nearest lodge.

How do adult humans get to a point where this is something that comes into their heads and is deemed appropriate to express

Proximity to cats?

Confound the conjurer by turning my entire party into deadly mecha-vipers, then .

Anonymous status, the knowledge that their statement will almost certainly never come back to haunt them, and the freedom of speech that comes with that knowledge? Also, if you're going to criticize someone's speech with a patronizing question, at least end your sentence with a question mark.

But you're a snake now, user. Can't explain that

>party is now snakes
>you keep your stats, skills and spells

Is that good or bad?

Man don't even kid about that. If you knew what toxoplasmosis can do and what it's implied to do, even as a latent infection, you'd kill every cat you see.
T. owner of 3 cats

Wildshape into a bear. An ANGRY bear.

>I mean, really, what would they do to me that could possibly make my current predicament worse?
Eat you, idk.
Given your attached pic I doubt you'd dislike that, though.
That's alright, we're all closet vorefags hare.