Stat this useless goddess in the system of your choice, Veeky Forums

Stat this useless goddess in the system of your choice, Veeky Forums.

Size/Type: Large Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 5d10+25 (52 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (-1 size, +1 Dex, +5 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +5/+14
Attack: Claw +9 melee (1d6+5)
Full Attack: 2 claws +9 melee (1d6+5) and bite +4 melee (1d8+2)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Improved grab
Special Qualities: Scent
Saves: Fort +9, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities: Str 21, Dex 12, Con 21, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
Skills: Listen +8, Spot +8
Feats: Alertness, Track
Environment: Temperate forests
Organization: Solitary, pair, or pack (3-8)
Challenge Rating: 4
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always neutral
Advancement: 6-8 HD (Large); 9-15 HD (Huge)

-10 hp

STR 12
DEX 12
CON 15
INT 5
WIS 8
CHR 18

Level 20 cleric

useless goddess
despite her utter lack of Wisdom, she is still a powerful spell caster and counts as WIS 20 for the purposes of spell casting

>useless

Just say favoured soul or that CHA is substituted.

she is statted in the show you dunce.

>Stat this useless goddess in the system of your choice
>in the system of your choice

That implies anything BUT the show's in-universe system.

Worst Girl/10.

I still can't decide between Darkness or Megumin.

Hi, Wayne.

Hi.

Does she ever even do anything in the show other than useless parlor tricks?

Purges undead, bullies a lich, resurrects the dead, and floods an area destroying a town wall.

>Purifies a lake while being ragdolled in a cage being attacked by giant gators.
>Summons more water than needed to kill the Dullahan, destroying the town gate and putting the group in debt in process.
>Put a barrier around a graveyard to drive off the spirits haunting it, causing the groups mansion to be haunted by possessed dolls.
>Put a ward in a dungeon they *mostly* cleared, driving monsters into the country side and required them to go and remove it before the fuzz finds out it was them.
>routinely tries to murder best lich.

She keeps the toilets clean.

She can instantly destroy any undead short of one of the demon king's generals and repeatedly resurrects Kazuma with her god credentials (you're only supposed to be resurrected once, and Kazuma used that up in being reborn, but Aqua is higher ranking than the fantasy world's chief god so it doesn't matter)

Aqua is a bully.

Surely she should have at least one divine level if she's a goddess.

Liches are made for bullying though

She also pardons a repentant lich before purifying him, which is like the only sympathetic moment she gets in the whole show

>calling a goddess unsympathetic just because she's a selfish naive sociopath with no concept of consequences of her actions

How dare you

Aqua is totally sympathetic if you realize that she's been living in heaven as a greater deity for eons. Unlike Eris, she doesn't have any contact with her world to give her any common sense.

Well, the Axis cult is a pretty great group to be a part of, honestly. They take it easy, party hard, and do what feels right instead of worrying about appearances. Their recruitment is really off-putting, but all of those people looked pretty damn content.

Job: High Priestess
Origin: Goddess
Kit: Healer
Class/Role: Simple/Leader

Skills: Party tricks, menial labor, bureaucracy, bullying, water magic, holy magic, healing magic, good looks

Tricks:
- Restoration. Can remove any negative condition, including death.
- Ward against Evil: Can place wards that keep all (relatively) Evil type creatures out.

Complications:
- Stupid
- Pampered

Fuck off.

I already did. I can do it again if you give me 20 minutes or so.

-4 STR

Lvl 20 Cleric
Str 8
Dex 11
Con 8
Wis 20
Int 8
Cha 16

Infravision
Dark vision
Day Vision
Tremor Sense
HP: 28

Daily Spell list:
Lvl 0:
Guidance
Light
Turn Undead
Hold Alchohol
Greater Maximised Hastened Quickened Improved Purify Water

Lvl 1:
Nature's Beauty x 4
lvl 2:
Protection from Poison x 3
Lvl 3:
Water Walk x 2
Dispel Magic
Lvl 4:
Greater Improved Hastened Quickened Maximised Create Water X 3
Lvl 5:
Raise Dead
Legend Lore
Commune
Lvl 6:
True Seeing
Forbiddance
Lvl 7:
Divine Word
Ressurrection
Lvl 8:
God's Wrath (Natural weapon bonus X lvl holy damage, Aqua's natural weapon bonus: 0)
Lvl9:
True Resurrection

Considering any water based fluid she touches (except alchohol) automatically becomes purified water, does she piss piss or does she just produce purified water?

STR 11
INT 5
WIS 9
DEX 12
CON 14
LKS 15
CHA 13

Honor 51
Hitpoints 33
Threshold of Pain 12
Trauma Check 7

Absent-minded
Chatterbox
Clingy
Fanatic
Lazy
Needy
Spendthrift

Blind-Fighting
Combat Casting
Charm Resistant

There is only one real choice.

>Purifies a lake while being ragdolled in a cage being attacked by giant gators.
My dick has never before nor ever since been that hard.

...

What show?

I Can't Believe It's Another Harem Show Set In An Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game!

Konosuba the story of a buncha dumbasses in a fantasy world where they are just terrible at everything.

Konosuba, amazing show, an utter deconstruction of roleplaying tropes.

Chaotic Good, Divinity, Water Domain.

16 Str
16 Dex
16 Con
3 Int
20 Wis
20 Cha

Proficiencies:

Entertainment + 17, Deception +12, +20 Insight.

16 AC

Attacks:

Unarmed Strike 1d10+3

Turn Evil : Deal 6d6 radiant damage to all undead within a 30 ft range.

Dispel Barrier: Remove any magical warding.

Remove Curse: Remove any curse.

Summon Flood: Summon a 10ft deep, 600ft long and 600ft wide square of water to flood an area dealing 3d6 bludgeon damage to all affected characters and objects in the area. Characters may make a STR save to stay affloat taking only half damage.

Confirmed not having watched the show
Alternatively, tasty bait.

It's why she vomits rainbows.

Dump everything
MaXxX out charisma
Hnnng

>Wayne
>Being this wrong
All is right with the world

It almost got a bite, but something scared everything off

> harem show
> implying any of the girls would touch Kazuma's dick with a 10 foot pole even if they got to wear gloves
> implying Kazuma can see any of the girls as romantic targets beyond brief moments of perversion

No one in that party is ever getting laid.

Nevermind

>No one in that party is ever getting laid.
by choice

Strength: 8
Perception: 6
Endurance: 7
Charisma: 9
Intelligence: 6
Agility: 7
Luck: 1

worst girl just like everyone else in the show

It's not a harem but in the LNs the anime is based on Megumin totally wants his dick. She's even trying to scare off other girls, who aren't even interested in Kazuma.
The only girls who show any interest in him beyond Megumin are Chris, and sometimes Darkness but that's just because Kazuma fits her fetish not her actually liking him.


Megumin at one point even says that Kazuma is just as important to her as her explosion magic

I generally agree with the stat arrays given, but not the levels. Two or three levels of Cleric, one Mythic Rank, and some bullshit feat or alternative class option that lets her cast off Charisma. Alternately, two or three levels of oracle, keep the single MR, and make sure her curse has something to do with acting like a jackass all the time.

Isn't there a scene where Kazuma basically goes, "Megumi totally looks like a kid, I'd feel like a creep if I got with her?"

>looks like a kid
She totally is a kid, though. I mean, that's not saying much, considering everyone in the party is immature as fuck, and not solely Megumin, but the fact is there.

There is a reason Kazuma hasn't gone for it, despite Megumin legitimately being into him.

And I still can't decide between Eris and Iris .

She purifies alcohol, too.

She can drink things without purifying them.


Accidentally purifying tea she makes is a running gag.
But when other people (mostly Wiz) make tea for her, she drinks it just fine.

>turning any liquid into water
But what if she used it on a living being? Namely, on its blood?

>when you jizz in her mouth and she drinks it all up because to her it tastes like springwater

>>when you jizz in her mouth
w..when is this going to be?

The correct Answer for waifu is darkness, but megumin is the best for hanging out and blowing shit up.

Wiz is also viable waifu material

In the LN and the manga she also exorcises the ghost in the doll by simply keeping it company until it was happy enough to pass on.

>masochist slut
>waifu material

It's fine, she'd probably let you fuck other girls as long as you forced her to watch.

You pose a strong argument, but Megumin is too cute.

>The correct Answer for waifu is darkness,
Nah, Eris is the lackluster idealization.
>but megumin is the best for hanging out
And Aqua is the bro tier non-contender.

>and blowing shit up.
I'd sooner take Wolbach or Wiz for that.

IIRC he is implied to eventually go for it, though.

Kazuma is the best kind of MC, by the way. He's like Ciaphas Cain - he thinks of himself as a total scumbag who got to where he is through luck and bluff, and in many ways this is correct, but when it really comes down to it he's a pretty legit guy. He's an testament to the fact that you can be selfish, cantankerous, underhanded and lecherous, and still be a better person than most at the end of the day.

This why you marry Darkness and keep Megumin as a pet-maid.

Darkness gets to indulge in her cuckquean fetish as a neglected housewife and Megumin gets to go on cute dates with you when you let her off the leash obviously.

Megumin is pure!

...You point being?

Men only want purity in girls so they can be the first to spoil it. There's no point in having the ripest, juiciest, shiniest cherry in the world on your plate if you're not going to eat it.

She's 13 you sick fuck!

Weakness: bullying

she can be responsable for herself in japan
where the fucking anime was made
so fuck off moralfag

Only in Tokyo. In the rest of the country the prefectures override federal law to make it 18

...

>That implies anything BUT the show's in-universe system.

My system of a choice is the show's in-universe system and there's nothing you can do about it.

>Only in Tokyo
Which -like Paris to France and London to Britain- is the only part of Japan that fucking matters.

k

>London to Britain
I dont bloody think sharia law allows it, not in my londonistan, kafir

>Domains: Life, Tempest, Nolej

There is no way Aqua has an Int of 6, she has whatever is the lowest level where you can still speak with real words. Bitch is dumb as a brick.

I've been wanting to play a cleric of her but wondered what domains to take, thanks

She'd cuck you for an orc asap
well she would if they weren't all woman

I felt obligated to give her good INT because of her magic. But then again, Kazuma mentions her INT is really low when he sees her stat line. So I guess INT 4 at best. Probably INT 2.

But then the fact you've chosen that system when he didn't doesn't make him a dunce.

Also,
>there's nothing you can do about it
I can weep myself softly to sleep and declare that you'll never be my husbando!

is this show worth watching?
from what I've heard it's the weebshit version of Always Sunny.

The first episode has a couple of little laughs, but is mostly setup and comes off as a only slightly tongue-in-cheek SAO esq premise. Its actually not very representative of the overall show at all.

The second episode onward, however, is fucking hilarious. The classic tale of a bunch of misfits who are individually overspecialized to the point of being worthless finding a party where their skills add up to actually being not shit.

A previous fa/tg/uys pointed out that they are a party specced for bossfights in a setting where there are only like 7 bosses total. So most of the time they suck.

And yes, they are terrible people. To each other, and in general.

The premise of one episode is completing a quest to purify a monster infested lake by putting their cleric into a giant metal cage, tossing it into the shallow end, and sitting back on a hill in the middle distance watching to see if the monster can break the cage.

Purifying the lake takes the better part of a day.

They know this when they put her in there.

Her spells don't come from INT, that's for Wizard classes in Konosuba. She's a Cleric-style class. Plus her magic comes from her actually being a goddess.
Even the guild-lady comments on how low her intelligence is.

...

>"Kazuma Buys a Prostitute"
Leases. You lease prostitutes.
You buy wives.

>You buy wives.
You buy groceries. You rent-to-own wives.

He doesn't even lease the prostitute, he was just gonna get to DREAM about one.

That's like a new level of pathetic it could only come from Japan.

>You buy wives.
You kidnap and claim wives. What you buy is camels. So many beautiful female camels...

>So many beautiful female camels...

HELLO HONORED CUSTOMER! I have camel that is TWICE as good as wife! It will bear you many sons and also cross the desert unaided. Such a thing your wife could not do, I think? And even if she could, would she come with such a WONDERFUL DOWRY of ANOTHER CAMEL?

I dunno. It seems like a pretty sweet deal.

It costs no or almost no money, because the Succubus is really getting paid in a tiny hit of your life essence. This benefits the Succubus, and its super cheap for you.

In return you get a sexual experience that 1, you probably couldn't land yourself anyway if you are visiting this establishment, and 2 might not even be physically possible. Remember, the sales pitch includes such fantasies as experiencing sex as the opposite gender, and Konosuba doesn't seem to have much if anything in the way of transformation magic that we see so this might legitimately be the only way to experience that and other fetishes.

And its a vivid dream to the point of being lifelike, but without any real risk or consequence.

>selling a camel with a dowry of a camel
You really are crazy, Hassan. I'll take a harem.

Regular harem or aquatic harem? Now with extra snorkels!

And because I like your face, the flippers are free.

And I would rebuttal that a real thing will always be superior to an imagined thing because it actually exists. The deal the succubi set up in the city works best for them as they get sustenance and protection for basically doing what they already do, while the men don't even get the benefit of actual sex, just vivid dreams of it. If I were an adventurer in that town I'd go for the real thing and pay extra just to get it, they can obviously provide damn near any fetish available already so why not just provide it?

Really the head Succubus is sitting on a gold mine that is untapped, why she hasn't expanded into it is a mystery.

>And I would rebuttal that a real thing will always be superior to an imagined thing because it actually exists.
Your reality is no match for my self-delusion! My waifu is perfect and flawless and her butthole smells like rose-water, because she is not real. Your wife poops and farts and burps and has hair in gross places. My waifu is therefore superior.

Easily bullied

Ah, but wouldn't she be even better if you could physically hold her; have conversations with her, take her to places like you would a real girl? All that and more if only she existed!

>Ugly
>Useless/10.
>2D