What would it take to unite the Goblin tribes?

What would it take to unite the Goblin tribes?

A Wish spell or similar 'ultimate magic' crap

I mean, there are a lot of goblins, all over the world, and they live in really reclusive places, and they really love shanking each other because other things are too big and scary.

I don't see any mundane options working.

A massive pile of Metal Scrap, a fuckton of Goblin-brewed Ale, and someone telling them that the humans the next kingdom over fucked their mom.

Either that or an Orc Warlord who's actually a total bro with goblins, you know? Like, he's from a race who's all "muh proud and serious warrior tribes," but he also knows how to party and is basically the life of any goblin party. He'd basically be the Big Lebowski of Orcs.

Besides that, he knows what it's like. It ain't easy being green, man.

Marriage.

Islam

A really big goblin. Like really really big.

goblin slayer

In what setting?

A GREAT WAAAAAAAAAAGH!

I want to fuck that goblin.

A qt3.14 chieftess, of course. All right, shortstack thread commence!

Goblin Shaka Zulu.

Not the biggest, but the meanest and the smartest (and the craziest), with a jones for organization. Legit OCD.

>lemongrab, but green

Humans are attracted to SHORT and THICC.

Ergo we must genetically engineer a greenskin race half the height of Goblins but almost as thicc.

Mini-Gobbo's

A thematically appropriate BBEG, if course.

White wimmin.

A series of engineered conflicts peppered with alliances and treaties in which all members believe they've gotten the best deal, followed by a transfer of power to a ruler with both blood and backing of the various represented faiths.

civil war

What the fuck is wrong with you two? Is this paedophilia or something?

We'd need a gimmick!

Ah yes, that's what pedophiles are attracted to! The height of the children!

Yous a funnay man
Kys

Some men are attracted to smaller, curvier females. It's nature and a fetish. Don't kinkshame

Gobbo von Bismark

I'm sorta tired of seeing weird threads on Veeky Forums, and being a guy who's interested in art and the goblin race I can at least ask for interesting related art.

the death of all goblins.

One dick to unite them all

>implying shortstack is anywhere close to the patrician taste of lolicon

ORRRRRRRRRRRGYYYYYY

...

... Math checks out, but if you want to get a decent rate of success you'll need at LEAST a 6 pack of originals and MAYBE a couple mints

Don't you people ever get bored of this shit?

And don't you ever get tired of *this* shit?

...

I believe the love of shortstacks is more of a midget fetish (where the midget has proper proportion) then pedophilia. This user though is a pedophile and deserves to castrated publicly because that's my fetish.

>I hate Krauts who disagree with me, but I hate other countries even more

Sex and lot of girls.

A ton of blings and bangs, obviously.

David Bowie

Where did the evil Kraut touch you , user?

A big penis

the Dick.
Through the Dick, unity.

A goddess (male)

i would give my life in the name of this goddess