Fairies have started following your party

That one looks kind of dead

Ask them to stop, offering gifts and/or favors in return. If that doesn't work, I appeal to the nearest lord of the fey; either I fucked up and these shits are punishment, I which case I can try to atone, or they're just messing with me in which case I can ask their boss to make them stop, again offering whatever meager gifts or favors I can scrounge up.

I mean, I'll probably end up getting roped into guarding a "single night" of a fairie party that ends up lasting 50 years or something, but I'm an adventurer; I live off of the goodwill and trust of strangers, so bad rumors means no jobs which means no money which means starving in a ditch. Even settling down won't work as the rumors may likely continue.

>He thinks that any good can come from giving in to the demands of fae.
With a small amount of questing you can learn at least the first few syllables of their true name, which is usually enough to bluff them and get them away from you. That failing get a cold iron chain and bind them to something.

yes

Cool

As the de facto martial player in any group I play, I'll let Eos tank and I'll net Selene and stuff her in a jar. Once Eos is hurting, pluck her up and jar her too, pay off the "enemy" who roughed her up and magical realm territory is now being trod upon.

I eat them. Fairies are high in magical proteins.

>obligatory "this is a magical realm thread" post because the OP pic had anime girls

Get them hooked on drugs. Fairies will do anything for cocaine.

Anyone who listens to rumors is a bottom-feeding piece of trash so I don't really care. I just wish those cute fairies would just play with my dick.

>it wouldn't fit
>you'd murder those fairies

I'm not a monster. No penetration. I just want them to lick it and hug it with their tiny little bodies. Imagine having them scrub your dick in the morning with their soap-covered thighs.

I just finished fapping goddamnit

The answer is obvious.

>He's never fapped to qt faerie girru~ hugging a penger that's as big as her
I feel bad for you

>implying you need to follow someone around to spread rumours about them

What kind of rumors?

Rumors about the size of some party member's members and commenting about some of the other members wearing pads.

Doesn't appear to affect my character, then, as long as they're not trying to say that she's a man in disguise.

Meaningless without proof.

Wouldn't put it past them, or trying to say she's actually a trap.

Fairies are some sneaky little jokers.

She'll have to prove they aren't, so still a win-win for the local men.

There is only one correct answer to this problem.

>get a cold iron chain and bind them to something.

Are you implying that fairies should be in bondage!?!?

This made me super fucking hard

...okay, that's enough internet for me for one day.

I would be friends with them. I do good things and so if their rumors are accurate, it would only help me. If their rumors are false, I would act contrary to the rumors (by being good) and their reputation as reliable rumor sources would quickly diminish.

if they wanted to be, sure. I would oblige. Maybe they'll return the favor sometimes too. but I'm not sure we have that sort of relationship yet.

I've read much more of that than what is healthy.

Sauce on this, boss? Google and Yandex have failed me

How underage are you? Bondage fairies is ancient.

Yes, I would kill them. But I would not torture them and get off on it. I'm done with this thread.

I tell Selene to stop dragging Eos along with her mischievous pranks and both of them to get back to work. I don't keep those two around just so they can slack off and not heal people like they're supposed to.

Hire that spider we ran into.

>not keeping them around as living onaholes

>that thumbnail
>that image
faepost detected

they want offerings of milk and honey

I'd start following the typical superstition about how to get fairies to like you

Leaving a little slice of dinner or any desert you make on the window sill, leaving a bit of your drink left at the bottom of the cup, don't needlessly disturb certain parts of a forest, be kind and hospitable to strangers. It's not that hard to get on a fae's good side.

Thank them, that get them to leave.

Or fuck up my shut up even harder.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>fey
I roll to disbelieve them from existence.

Don't believe those awful rumor anons! we must go awaken all of the crystals!

Mouthy little fairy + roll of duct tape =
>rape

...

Politely ask them to stop

>They agree and apologize
>They set about town undoing all the rumors
>Townfolk approach party to apologize
>Offer fruit baskets and a free night at the inn as a show of good faith
>Have a nice night, say goodbye to friendly townfolk, and move onto next town
>Rumors in next town are worse
>Fae no where to be seen

Let the rumors pile up. If they're good rumors, make a token effort about acting them out, and if they're bad rumors, don't even make that token effort. Eventually the fairies will get a reputation as compulsive liars and nobody believes the rumors anymore.

I roll to seduce the faries.

That's fine; fairies are notorious, aggressive, unapologetic, pedophiles.

No one with any common sense believes what they have to say in the first place.. With the exception of children, hence the pedophilia.

This is how you make a fairy character.
Fuck you Airy, I'll never trust cute faes again.

What a twist!

I have the solution here.

There's a species of Dragon is Spelljammer that impersonates you and puts money on your tab, then fucks off to another port right before you dock.

It was fucking old 15 years ago user. I'd believe it if someone told me it predated the internet.

Now someone post the infant smurf torture porn.

I'd believe it if someone told me it predated both fairies and bondage.

Source? Reverse search isn't giving me anything.

They get far less extreme after the first arc if I recall correctly.

MOOT

Start rumors about THEM in every town they visit.

>fairy hacker
...Wouldn't electronics made for fairies be exponentially slower than those made for regular-sized people due to the fundamental size limitations of MOSFET transistors?

OR they use larger devices OR they use thin clients

The thing is, that image clearly shows such things as :
- Fairy-sized Bluetooth headset which isn't viable due to the fact that the resonator has to be a certain size, the speaker has to be a certain size and, oh yeah, the controlling chipset will be impossibly slow at that size. Even if it isn't Bluetooth, the resonator still has to be a certain size for it to work properly and generate on proper wavelengths/frequencies.
- Fairy-sized screen - pixel density would have to be insane, even if we disregard the fact that its holographic (and if we count it in - the optics on the holographic projector wuld have to be even more insane.
- If those aren't actual holographic screens and instead we are showing the visualization from her AR headset, the above argument about the screen and insane pixel density becomes even more powerful.
- The wires that connect her haptic interface to the cyberdeck hidden in her bag are impossibly thin - so thin in fact, that they would break under their own weight.

Although, now that I think about it, the wires are possible if made out of graphene or something along those lines, I guess.

I need professional help.

A good solid dicking should solve my problems.
Or create new ones. Perhaps both!

>t. Bard

How long will it take for the fighter to pound the wizard's slutty ass like he's destined to do?

It's pretty good, bruh.

The Cactuar King approves of this. Keeping your summons under control is a rough life when you're a Scholar. Now excuse me, I'm off to fist Garuda.

>Fairy-sized screen
Those are haptic AR screens, I'd suspect.
>fairy-sized bluetooth
Looks like it feeds down to something behind her ear on the clip.
>fairy-sized cable
Probably mentioned something like graphene or something.
But really, fairies wouldn't work to begin with, so that's the first failing.

I wonder if that was a month-long ban or a permanent ban that guy got?

My setting it's a huge communist city, so the dictator is trying to make the heroes look bad 24/7 through city wide speaking system

Reminder that cold iron means a threat of violent retaliation.

>fairy hacker 2
Got any more?

Fairies are cute. Don't throw rocks at them.

Tell the wizard to prepare size altering spells. It's time for some lawful hot dickings.

Fairy detected

>the spells work
>maybe a little too well

Can they get pregnant with my children?

One of them saw takening a piss and now everyone woman in town wants to try my humongous dick.

>18 sessions later

This is too tame.

Hey.

EY.

Hand off the guro button. Have some fukken civilization in these dyin' days.

Yes, but it's not pretty.

Personal onaholes.

Eh... I have (s)layed bigger dragons than her.

Can I at least use my toddlercon collection?

>They telling everyone my cum gets rid of belly fat
>uggo landwhales won't leave me alone
>I want to die
This actually happened in a game.

You're not fooling anyone here.

If I remember right the first arc was not really that extreme in the sexual stuff. It just ended in a lot of violence.

Not at all, fellow human. Man, typing sure is troublesome, eh?

As long as the rumors aren't dangerous or anything I don't mind