You've just received an ornate invitation from the Princess Consort of Lizard Land

Why is that?

Nigga don't do this to me.

But they were dinosaurs

Some were close though. I'd call stegosaurus a bigass lizard. But yeah, sauropods were their own thing and the raptor branch were giant scaly birbs

Dispatch one of my ambassadors, that's what I made them for.

>at once

You don't summon me, the swamp pope, like some servant.

I used to take care of lizards at a pet store. They are fucking revolting. I've seen them eat their own children even when they have plenty of food.

>stegosaurus
Literally got a beak nigga.

>present yourself at the royal feasting hall at once

I am not stupid enough to fall for that. You will not be eating me today.

Its the queens consort, obey your authority given to you with the enough formal respect you deserve and play the dance we call politics.

Besides its most likely urgent if they need to call you in directly right? Probably some undead menace wading trough the swamp water eating all the swamp fish.

That's the fun way to play Lizardfolk! They have a recognisable society, but completely incomprehensible morals!

Yeah, she's been laying on a rock in the sun all day.

I and my horde of junkie barbarians roll up to the royal feasting hall in our fleet of technicals. Half of us are naked, the other half is off their heads on Buzz Mould and are butt-fucking the other half, and we're all firing our guns in the air and whooping like chimpanzees.

How does the Princess Consort react?

Good enough for me.

It was YOU giving them food when they already had plenty of it.

A cold stare, and shed skin

So... we good?

Just pay the tax and don't do crime, sure.

beak quiet

Shutuposaurus

Finally, royalty who knows how to treat with a visiting dignitary.

Sorry, I didn't catch that. One of the boys just stuck his dick in my ear.

Don't pay tax and do crimes? Sure! That's what we do anyway!

Can't have a royal feast if there isn't a royal feasting hall to have it in, just burn the whole thing down and then skip town.

Well then we're not cool.

It's not like we need your approval anyway.

C'mon boys, let go find a village to pillage! Maybe this time we'll remember to rape the women and burn the houses, not the other way around!

Man, now I wanna hear about this campaign. You got any stories?

Literally gunned down before you left the city.
50 drugged up men with guns do not a fearsome force make against a literal military.

>a "literal" military
>in a swamp kingdom ruled by lizardmen
>gunning down anything

Haha no. Why do you think we barbarians are here in the first place?

Every nation has its sports fan and yobs, most nations can still put them to place.

Also berlin managed to hold a good military to stop thugs even if it was on top of a swamp.

> Magical Realm Thread
Common guys you know the OP is actually asking how do you pretend to fuck the princess consort

Whoa whoa whoa

Let's just calm down for a minute

Nobody here is thinking about fucking the princess consort

I dunno, I'm kinda thinking about fucking the Princess Consort.

>Implying that isn't what I've been summoned from doing

How do you have time for that when there's a big ass shitfest between the Lizard Police and Drug Barbarians?

Pick a side chief, the Princess can wait

>Not fucking the princess consort while picking a side

> Your group is invited/forced to go/stumbled upon a place X
> There is a female
> What do you do?
Don't lie to me. Everyone know theses threads are just an excuse for waifuing and faping

Not that is a bad thing. All my skyrim waifus were argonians

An invitation from royalty IS a summons, regardless of how politely it is worded.

I show up to the feasting hall in a full alligator-skin suit and boots.

>Princess consort is an official title or an informal designation normally accorded to the wife of a sovereign prince