Da Strait Shootaz: 1d4chan edition

>What is this?
A freebooterz krew made via custom klan creation tables.

>gimme the elevator pitch
A roving Wauugh for teef controlled via a Kaptan who can charm just about any git what after 'e Krumps 'em. The orks roll in, loot a place and then leave. For the moment at least they're more interested in fighting Spikey Boys, 'Nids, and especially Tau. They really love looting Tau stuff.

1d4chan.org/wiki/Strait_Shootaz
thread two: suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/53716563/
Thread one: suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/53640143/

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/b-COOBjW3IY
1d4chan.org/wiki/Strait_Shootaz
twitter.com/AnonBabble

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Why is that railgun shooting plasma?

So if Deez Boyz are krumpin and lootin da Tau, are da Tau gonna make a anti-Ork suit?

Instead of being accurate it tries to deal with Da Boyz going ta Cova by burning them out, using multiple napalm bombs and flamers.

orks

Da yellow ones shoot plasma!

Probably because they did in Dawn of War

youtu.be/b-COOBjW3IY

I figure even if it's inaccurate, it's just them putting "Railgun" on a weapon that doesn't actually work like one.

Railguns have a plume of plasma when fired

Where's the fuckin' wiki page fampai?

Question:
Would a Big Squiggoth, precariously balancing on a Hammerhead/Devilfish/One-Drone-For-Each-Foot, with a massive railgun mounted on its back, be TOO ridiculous?

Yes

Okay, but let me argue my points:
1) Big Squiggoths, as opposed to Gargantuans and Orkeosauruses, are relatively small. Like, slightly bigger than an elephant small. Theoretically, it could be possible to have one clamber up onto a big Tau skimmer.
2) Rule-wise, it would require little modification. Give it skimmer and take out its ability to trample.
3) the railgun is entirely an optional choice and can be removed if it makes it less ridiculous
4) it would be funny

I always wondered what /ss/ meant

>1d4chan.org/wiki/Strait_Shootaz
right here you git.

wouldn't it make more sense to strap drones to its legs so it hoves around? Or use a scrapped skimmer vehicle as barding?

I was worried that drones wouldn't be strong enough to lift one. But I think the idea of a gigantic squig hovering around, half-terrified, a lot like this
would be pretty damn funny

one of the hallmarks of the Strait Shootaz is salvaging krumped groups of boys or convincing boys to join. That's how you get Blood axes surfing around on drones and doing mid air tricks to strap the drone to their back.

It would take a LOT of drones but you could do it.

Excerpt from: “Under Da Boot: Slave Life among the Greenskins”
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My job amidst their indentured forces was to deliver ammo to the ork shootas, as they practice their aim in the grand shooting range. A task commonly filled by their smaller kin, the grots. Blue Toof’s care for not wasting materials lended him to use humans and tau while on the range, so that we didn’t just refill an ork weapon infinitely and waste valuable ammunition. To think I waited on these Xeno filth like a common house servant, it nearly stains my noble soul. But this is not the strangest twist on what I’m informed is common ork behaviour.

By only giving the orks on the range a set amount of munitions, a test of gunnery knowledge is laid. Most of the orks run out of ammunition at around the same time, roaring and complaining that they ran out of ammo and eventually leaving the grounds to eat or commit some other xeno atrocity. But a few of the boys always seem to be a bit slower, remaining in the room a while after their brethren. Often this is just a weapon malfunction, or the boy’s a git. But on occasion one of the shootas has some deeper insight. This is far more frequent to see when Blue Toof himself makes an appearance, giving the ork equivalent to a rousing speech on how important it is to hit your target when you fire at it.

Most recently, one ork named ‘Nadesmasha, remained on the range alone when the Kaptain approached him. Translated from orkish dialect, He asked the boy why he was taking so long to fire his shots. The reply was since the range targets weren’t moving, he wasn’t in danger, and could take his time shooting at them so all the targets were hit. That way he got the most dakka out of his bullets, since if they all hit, he got the most dakka out of his gun. Blue toof laughed then called me over, refilling the orks ammo with 50 shots. He then threatened the boy, giving him 1 minute to hit each of the 30 targets down range, or he’d “Krump is zoggin ‘ead off”.

I counted 60 seconds through the repeated gun shots aloud for them, not that you could well hear anything with a Ork Shoota going off next to you. Shell after shell rang out, a flurry sustained by the now terrified boys roar as he fired. When I reached 60, Blue toof yanked the gun out of the boyz hand, and counted two shells remaining. I almost interjected myself to point out the ork put to the test had only successfully hit 22 of the 30 targets, but the Kaptain didn’t even bother looking.

He grasped the boyz shoulder, and they walked off to the armory. It took me a year to realize the ork warboss knew he could just let the orks have all the ammo they want in a proper fight, and they’d turn the tides of battle. It was not wasting it under pressure that he was after. So strong is his desire for loot, and impressed that the young ork had not wasted it, that ‘Nadesmasha was given charge of some vaguely Tau looking energy weapon and told to join the ranks of the Loota’s that day.

Considering Blu Toof's quest for loot, is there perhaps some grand prize or massive piece of loot he's been searching the sector for? A tau Capital ship that keeps eluding him at every turn, A Nid Carnifex that repeatedly gets regenerated in every conflict and he wants to just keep ripping out it's teeth, or perhaps some famous Ork Warboss's Megadakka stuck in a hulk that disappears and reappears across the sector?

Not that his greed needs some great goal, the teef hoard is brilliant already.

Christ, that page needs a LOT of tlc

if nothing else knowing how crap it is will ensure I update it.

Yeah, but the Ork in OP's pic can't actually be firing a railgun shot. One of the rails is broken, and having it re-wired doesn't fix that, and there's a metal plate in the way of where any sort of slug would come from.

Then it's a weapon made from a railgun, but not a railgun

There are dangerous behaviours to watch for in Orks. Orks are of course prone to ultraviolence, their habits of drinking, casual violence, a perverse fondness for pain and suffering (even for themselves.)

All of these pale in comparison to the most dangerous observable behaviour in an Ork: quiet contemplation.

Blu Toof is capable of this but more often engages in speeches rousing his boys to action or boisterous rough-housing that may leave a boy dead or in need of a painboy.

No the Ork most often prone to Quietude in the Strait Shootaz is Maghruum Blackrokka. The chief Kommando and leader of the Huntaz Magruum ostensibly is in charge of 'Nid purging operations. Indeed its become something of a cottage industry for the Orks, the bioplasma hivefleet manticore produces makes excellent flamerfuel and more than a few boys sport big choppas made from Carnifex blades. But if one is to be honest Magruum has little interest in killing 'nids.

It's the Chimera legion he hates. Having lost his own warband taking an entire chaos cruiser entirely on their own he found himself employed by Blu Toof. They have a tacit agreement. Blu Toof needs things killed and Magruum does it however he wants...and the massive ork gets first shot at any and all chaos forces.

Many an Obliterator has found his rousing hymn to the chaos gods stopped short with a bit of subdued witticism and a powerklaw prosthetic capable of flensing adamantine like butter.

Magruum is as large as a dreadnaught, quiet as a squigmauz and deddly kunnin. It's the last part that should worry his foes.

bump

>ork snipers

QUICK, SOMEONE CALL THE CELESTIAL LIONS!

that was discussed in the first thread. They didn't do it. Blue Toof doesn't have a contract to kill them.

I really would like to see a story about the Strayt Shootaz meeting the Scraplootaz.

can somebody give me a quick rundown on the Scraplootas?

They're a bunch of freebootas that live in a looted chaos titan that is basically controlled by groots. It's also where Blue da grot comes from. You can find more on 1d4chan.

Alright, I'll take a crack at it.

"So why izzit," Blu Toof said, "Dat you won't join me Waaagh?"
Giblitz, Chief Diplomat of the Grotocracy, carefully studied the Warboss while he thought of a suitable response. From head to toe, Blu Toof was a classic Freeboota Kaptin; bedecked in teeth and loot with a fancy hat, and the twang of a Freeboota accent that crept into every Kaptin eventually.
But it was an act. Blu Toof played the part well, and certainly enjoyed doing it, but underneath the veneer of swashbuckelry was a mind known far and wide for bein ded cunnin. According to the orks they'd talked to, he was the wiliest ork in the sector. "When he stops talkin," they said, "dat's when he gets REAL cunnin. Dat's when hez THINKIN." This last word was always spoken in awe.
Which... was good. It was why they were doing business. When it came to cunnin, you'd be hard pressed to find warbands more Morky than the Scraplootas or the Strait Shootaz. But it also meant he had to be very, very careful.
"The Scraplootas are in a good position at the moment," he said. "We have a lot of good contracts, our numbers are growing, and we see no reason why we should give up our independence to join a Waaagh. We've got a good thing going."
Complete nonsense to a normal Warboss. The usual response would be shouting. Or confused shouting. Or violence. Generally violence. But this Kaptin, he just sat there, scratching his enormous blue fang. Thinking.
After a bit he got up and started to walk around the room. It took a while. The room was enormous, a high-roofed and metal, jutting out crazily at angles and festooned with chains, hung with machinery. For the meeting they'd chosen neutral ground, the workshop of a freelance Mekboy they both did a roaring trade with. Of course, Giblitz had paid a hefty bribe to make sure... precautions, had been taken, should the meeting turn violent.

"'Ere's wot I fink." Blu Toof said. "Wot I fink, is dat you an' all yer Grotty boyz know you'se got a real lucky deal wiv dat Spikey Titan, cuz it lets ya do wot you want. An' yer scared, cuz if ye join a propah Waaagh, it'll be back de way it was before, wiv da Orks tellin yas wot ta do. So dat's why yer here, an' not Dursnik. Ta 'protect yer int-er-est'." Ye looked pointedly at Giblitz. "Duzze even know yer 'ere?"
"Of course he does," Giblitz said, stonefaced. That, at least was true. "The Warboss trusts our judgment." That was... less so. Dursnik wasn't a stupid ork, as far as Warbosses went, and he had some notion that the grots on his titan were getting a lot more cunnin than other grots. To this end, he'd asked...er, commanded the grotocracy for "a real cunnin git" to talk out a trade deal with the Strait Shootas. And the grotocracy, in the interests of maintaining the delicate balance of power between Titan and Klan, had sent Giblitz.
Blu Toof eyed him for a good long moment, and Giblitz had the unnerving thought that the Kaptin, in his patient way, was figuring out exactly that. There was silence.
Suddenly Blu Toof guffawed. "Dat's business oi can appreciate, ya sneaky grot!" He sat back down and took a swig of ale from a tanker bigger than the grot's head. Giblitz untensed the slightest bit. "Now, wot's this here deal again? You wants all der loot we'z gotz from dem spikey Koimeera Legion, so's ye can fix up yer Titan, and wot we get iz..."
As if he'd actually forgotten. "The Purvis contract, the Mon'kei contract, six barrels of finest squigale and a purebred Tootheater Squig."
"Roight, roight." The Freeboota paused. "Eard ya got a Bluie on yer Titan. Oi can always use more o'dem."
"Not for sale," Giblitz said firmly.
Blu Toof's eyes narrowed. He erupted suddenly from his chair, slamming his fists on the table and roaring full-blast at the grot.
And all hell broke loose.

*Walks in, setting helmet and pulse rifle down, without pausing spins around grabs them and walks right out.*

At Blu Toof's roar, two Scraploota Boyz burst through the door behind Giblitz with raised choppas, only to halt as the door behind Blu Toof slammed open and four blue-painted Shoota Boyz leveled their Tau-augmented shootas at them, grinning. The same grins vanished as they felt the prick of enormous serrated knives, wielded by the Kommandos that had dropped down behind them.
A large pile of rubbish in the corner came to life as three Tin Boyz. They in turn were swarmed by a horde of grots popping from every conceivable nook and cranny in the room, who proceeded to pry at the robot's joints until they became aware of the laser sights sweeping across them from the rafters.
The rafters themselves unfolded to become long, painted railguns, the decorative lighting ('why did I think there would be decorative lighting in a mekboy shop', thought Giblitz) in fact the helmeted heads of the Strait Shootas' infamous snipers.
A crude rocket smashed itself into pieces to reveal half a dozen Scraploota Stormboyz, who rocketed towards the snipers in a blast of exhaust. Halfway there they were intercepted by the Strait Shootas' own Stormboyz, jumping from their custom drones to tackle the Scraplootas to the ground.
As the climax of the grand crescendo, an entire wall of the room fell outwards, exposing a looted Leman Russ tank crewed by grots. Everyone froze as it rumbled forward a meter or two, then stopped. The turret suddenly gave out the sound of gasping hydraulics and sagged downwards.
A grot popped up from the tank's hatch. "Pump feed's gone missin', boss," he said. "Can't find it anywhere."

Blu Toof started to chuckle. It grew and grew until he was laughing uncontrollably. "Dat sneaky mek!" he wheezed. "Looks loike e's more cunnin den either ov us!"
He managed to calm himself down. "Well den," he said, "Looks loik we've got ourselves a standoff. Wot do ya t'ink we should do about dat?"

Epic. Upboated. I like it.

Giblitz became aware, in the silence, of faint noises of a struggle coming from above the ceiling. He'd put his last ace in the whole up there, but judging by the cries of "OI IZ DA NOIGHT" and "Oh, yer a big one, ain't yez!", Derknitt, Snekkit, and Rockeater had become occupied with fighting some... thing, in the hidden space. They seemed to be having some difficulty.
He tried to think. It was a test, wasn't it? The average ork, he wouldn't hesitate to scrap it out like this. But Blu Toof was ded cunnin, they all said. He wouldn't waste his boyz on a fight like this.
In that case, there was only one thing to do. He set his jaw and looked at Blu Toof. "I fink we should 'ave it out," he said. "Just you an' me."
Finally, he managed to surprise the Kaptin. His mouth swung open, his tooth angled crazily. "U wot?" he managed.
"Me an' you, scrap it out." Giblitz said. "If yez think yer 'ard enuff."
There was another long pause. The temporarily paused brawl of orks, locked at each others throats, looked at the Freeboota as he stood there. Thinking.
And suddenly he was laughing again, in great bursts that were almost as intimidating as his roaring. "You cheeky grot!" he said. "Oi fink I 'ave you pinned and you go and do dat!"
As one, the ork klans released their holds and separated, standing awkwardly.
"Wot oi say iz, we getz da Purvis contract, da Monkay contract, AND de Orvitur contract," Blu Toof said. "An' I'll give ya de spoils from da next raid we hit dem spiky boyz wiv. I'll even frow in a noice 'ammerhead gun, you can mount on yer Titan." He paused. "An' dis tankard 'ere. Oi know ol' Dursnik loikes cups'n'such."
"That... will be acceptable," said Giblitz.
They shook hands, one completely enveloped in the other's. The ork forces began filing out.
At the last moment, Blu Toof turned back. "Oh, one more fing."
"Magrumm!" he shouted at the ceiling. "Give 'em back deir pump feed!"

A battered pump feed dropped from the ceiling. The sounds of fighting resumed.

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Neat

WAAAGH/10, really good read!