Hey user, want to play some Bunkers and Badasses with us?

>Hey user, want to play some Bunkers and Badasses with us?

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Sure?

Can I get a ticket to a non-horrible planet after?

Nah, you get legendaries and pearls to boost your chances of survival

Oh. I guess that's cool. I guess becoming a badass is nice, but does it truly matter since there is no one to fuck?

I don't know the system, but I'm willing to learn.

Tina, Moxxi, Lilith, Maya, Gauge, Tannis. They're all fuckable.

Don't fuck kids.

Tina is hot.

Calling Tina a "kid" is insulting. She could kick your chubby ass, easy.

Don't fuck kids.

Blow him up using bunnies

Or else what?

Hey Wayne. I've been out of tg for a while. How did the thing with fet life end?

Go away gearbox

Fuck you, I'd love to play B&Bs. At least I would've when Borderlands was still relevant.

Predictably. The girl went silent after two days, and Oddball can't because apparently him running for town mayor is more important than engaging in a less ridiculous fantasy.(No, seriously, the guy's running for mayor now)

I'll hire a hitman to visit you in your home and hold your hand while blushing slightly. With the lights on.

user, I don't know where the fuck any of those have been. The only ones that might not end with me catching something that man was not meant to know are the two kid characters, but God knows what would go wrong in with those two.

Sure, if I can get a less annoying character to DM.
Like Claptrap maybe.

Moxxi is the only problematic one. And Tannis maybe, IIRC, she fucked a skrag. Lilith just loves dem BBC. Maya is pure.

...

For all of Borderlands 2's problems, the DLC weren't one of them. They must've had a different team of writers, because it felt considerably better than the vanilla game

Hell, Assault on Dragon Keep was actually pretty good, all things considered. Turning it into Tina trying to cope with Roland's death was a legitimately surprising turn, and made it about 1000x deeper than anything else the game had to offer. I was pleasantly surprised

I enjoyed the gameplay of the Pre-Sequel.

The way Roland died and his girlfriend was captured was complete bullshit, all these murderous heavily-armed commandos just sitting around watching the villain do stuff

Sounds fun, can I play a Gun Dwarf? I'm not sure if I want to play a Flamewaffen or a Field Medic...

Tales from the Borderlands was actually one of the only good "Tales of" games alongside their Monkey Island series.

Fiona is best girl, I like her hat.

or how apperantly he rolls with no shield and 10 HP

i bailed after Skipper got mind raped into servitude and no-one reacted to it, not even the VH interrogating Athena. that's some shitty writing . Also i couldn't deal with bad the gameplay right after playing DOOM.

BL is still the most insane compelling setting for a game, IMO.
Level design was the worst. That crashed spaceship level felt like it had zero checkpoints.

>Don't fuck kids
No u

>I'm not sure if I want to play a Flamewaffen
>He doesn't want to waffe flames

What's even the point in playing then? Certainly not the social rules.

Tina was fine in small doses but her 'humor' became obnoxious very quickly.

also she's like twelve, and a jive talking memelord spawned by a worthless cuck.

Hey! That worthless cuck gave his daughter a hand grenade at age 8.

but she's 2d
well, 3d, if we count humans as 4d

>spawned by a worthless cuck.
When do they expand on Tina's parents?

IIRC they're both dead after her escape from the Wildlife Preserve.

I think he may be referring to the real life person that is the creator of the character

He means Anthony Burch.

And did eveyone on the writing team forget that Maya had healing as one of her three skill trees? Where is my fucking alternate ending where Jack's bullets bounce off Roland's shields and then he tps out under a bullet storm and then Maya just picks up Angel with her healing arms hang on I'm getting sidetracked mmmm and everyone leaves.
And then Jack posts a bounty because the Vault Hunters stole his daughter and the plot continues.
Double Alternate Plot: Jack fires from within Roland's shield badly wounding him and then as above but with Maya healing Roland and Angel. And then there's a cutscene wherein everyone says 'Oh no, Jack shot Roland from with his sheild, he'll be down for a while recuperating.'
Triple Alternate Plot: Jack shoots Roland as in Double Alternate but then Roland jabs himself with an instahealth and kicks Jack in the dick.

Oh, that guy.

Didn't he sing a song about Gamergate in front of a live convention audience or something?

I'm pretty sure you can't heal what Jack did to his daughter over all those years, pulling her out is like taking a terminal patient off life support.

Maya eats some Eridium and super heals her.

I mean you're absolutely right, but that rid rock is a hell of a drug so who knows.

Skipper?

According to Google it's the initial alias of some character named Felicity.

Never played. Don't know more than that.

Ah, well considering all the crap Jack has done (which admittedly they kinda made a lot of that happen), I seriously doubt they even blinked at that. He screwed up an AI, which they thought was the case with Angel up until meeting her.

Honestly not the biggest wtf in the series.

[Seductive Saxophone Intensifies]

I thought her father became Krieg?

As far as I know that's just fanon.

>Jack kills Roland
>He doesn't just respawn

And for that matter

>Kill Jack
>He, the CEO of the company which owns, creates and distributes the respawn machines, and is himself a rich man, doesn't respawn

>Jack kills roland
Jack owns the New-U relays. Doesn't explain the second gripe, though.

But I do remember a theory that the New-U stations don't really exist.
Buut Claptrap makes mention of them.
Buuut Claptrap also breaks the 4th wall in 2 talking about twinking items between characters.
Yes I would.
Tina, for all her faults, is a solid Bunker Master who is willing to actually learn from her mistakes and improve her GMing.

>Jack owns the New-U relays

And yet doesn't stop the main characters from respawning, when they're currently on an active vendetta against them. Even up till the very end, like the final boss fight, he doesn't.

New-U AND Claptrap don't exist.

And I'd play with Tina for the same reasons.

Explicitly because he wanted to do the deed himself. A weakish justification but there it is.

Not with her. God, I hated her voice. Her backstory is sad and all, but I couldn't stand actually dealing with her.

The idea of making an actual Borderlands TTRPG won't get out of my head, but it'd need serious work.

Gaige has the hots for cyborgs apparently, so I mean, don't expect to keep all your limbs.
As for Tina? lets face it, we all would want to kill ourselves after listening to her too much.
Quadrouple Alternate Plot: Krieg lunges at Jack at first sight. The credits play and the slideshow just shows Maya rezing roland before they all go home before it continues as normal, and the music is replaced with audio of Krieg just maiming Jack to death

There's a PbtA one.

Not sure how good it is, but considering the setting would actually fit inside AW, It's probably not terrible.

Fuck.
I laughed.

That was Randy Pitchford. Look up "bigot song".

Hey, I'm just trying to get a feel of the party! I'm cool shooting the medigun if someone else wants to Flame and Waffen!

>not Flame und Waffen

you had one job

I would be open to it strange death-world child.

But first I wish to learn all your companions know in regard to these "vaults".

I believe that the knowledge within may aid me greatly in my own endeavors.
I also would like some crumpets.

I'll bunk her bad was if youknowwhatimsayin

My nigga

I don't want to fuck Tina.

I want to see Moxxi and Tina fuck.

The way I rationalized it, and a line from Tales of the Borderlands sort of hints at it too, Handsome Jack never set up an account with the respawn product because "I'm Handsome Jack. I don't do dying."

It's not unreasonable to believe he's so arrogant he never thought death or failure was a remote possibility.

>Krieg is reciting the lyrics to Sweating Bullets while Jack screams in pain and begs for mercy during the credits.

>Okay, you only need to say the word "Yes". Got it? Just say "Yes."
I'LL EVISCERATE THEIR SPLEENS FROM THROUGH THEIR SKULLS!
>...Close enough...

Apparently the new-u stations aren't canonical, and respawnibg isn't a thing. Or at least so says the Cuck

This is just a reminder that there are no laws on Pandora except what people with rocket launchers say there are.

Source?

Borderlands imperial guard when?

Are there none like it already?

I mean you've got alot of ganger regiments, and death world regiments, what about a ganger death world regiment?

Though I don't know if Pandora would count as a death world exactly by Imperial records, a shit hole world inhabited by human and mutant refuse certainly where no one would want to live normally, but its more like a pre-hive world needing to be settled.

Well we know that Pandora has several biomes other than desert now thanks to BL2, but all of them are filled with dangerous fauna and foliage that can and will kill you on sight. Most of the people living there are former prisoners/colonists that were supposed to be used for cheap labor in a mining operation that fell through.

Certainly checks out like a death world.

Don't forget it's also volcanically active and has a bunch of magic bullshit purple rocks that do magic bullshit things.

Also, Threshers are things that exist. Death World by default.

On what? Mayas purity?

But user, Savlar Chem Dogs already exist.

>Burch says New-Us aren't canon
>There's an entire quest where you can kill yourself and Jack says you'll be fine since you can just respawn

How would you theme a Guard regiment to make it "Pandoran/Borderlands"?

Horde of expendable bandits and light vehicles compared to heavy Armour? On the other hand the Command staff and elites have all sorts of fancy Archaeotech gear and even personal shields?

>Add melee weapons to a borderlands game
> Chose between: an ex rogue trader who lost everything, an ork komandos, a kroot totem warrior, an eldar outcast
> Eridium is chaos
> Vault are necron "do not open" box

Nobody said he was good at writing, user.

Doesn't Borderlands already have a couple of playable characters who are based around close combat?

Only three are good at melee. Brick in the first game and Zero and Krieg in the second. Didn't play 1.5

Brick, and Krieg are the standouts, but Zer0 and Athena have melee trees as well.
Also, Athena is a Mary Sue and you can't convince me otherwise.

tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GameplayAndStorySegregation

>TvTropes
Ugh.

>tv tropes
ugh

But that doesn't apply when they are activity noted in dialogue with the villain

Hivemind

Don't forget Bullgryns.

Yes, but there is no purely melee weapons, only guns with bayonets (all kind of weapons with bayonet). While it's quite fitting for 40k, it would still lack a weapon category for chain and power weapons and other melee weapons.

Lady Hammerlock too if you're brave. Athena.

...

Krieg literally wields a chain-axe

Borderlands weapons are some of the most Orky weapons ever.
I mean, fucking SWORDSPLOSION. It's dakka, that shoots choppy, that goes boom, into smaller choppy, that also go boom.
Mr. Torgue has to be an honorary Big Mek.

it's a buzz axe user. get it right.

The sad part is, this would've taken ten seconds to fix

When the player meets Claptrap at the start of the game, have him mention that the Crimson Raiders succeeded in destroying Jack's New-U system, but he held onto a couple of spare registry keys to let the BL2 cast use them to fight Jack.
Or even say that Jack removed Roland's data from the system, and actually give them a quest to sneak into a Hyperion base and delete Jack off of it without him realizing it. Jack's megalomania would be explained a bit more in that he thinks he's literally immortal, then you could watch the realization that he could actually die during the final boss

Burch is one of the laziest goddamn writers in the world that he'd rather destroy any sense of internal logic and consistency rather than put in ten seconds of effort to make things fit righte

>she fucked a skrag
Hot.

Most people on borderlands are pretty much orks, so yeah.
Others are called victims.

Hell, you could just have angel say that she secretly logged you into the system.
wouldn't explain Jack not being in there, but hey, it's a start.

Bullgryns, and close combat psycho squads with chain axes, grenades and combat drugs

the word you're looking for is Ludonarrative Dissonance.

it's on the page

...

Just a friendly reminder that Best Borderlands character is from Tales of The Borderlands.

how is she a Mary-Sue?