So user, assuming you were a planeswalker, what plane would you take up residence in, and ya know.. fucking WHY?

Magic newb here, if theoretical my allspark should ignite or some shit and I were to become a planeswalker, what should one do? Especially if one has no idea about any rules or lore.

Dominaria is the center plane and the most stable as well as historically were the most powerful walkers come from
thus go there as your odds of meeting a walker who can Tudor you is higher

Ehen your spark ignites, you instivrly planeswalk and are flung to a (semi? I dont think its really been specified, fiest walks tend to be pretty coincidentally appropriate) random plane. From there youee just kinda on your own. Only mages and other magic users are walkers so it can be presumed you would have some magical ability. You can planeswalk back or do whatever on the new plane. Planeswalkers are wanderers with their own goals in mind.

Ignite and get flung to fuck knows where till you get your bearings of your abilities.

If you're mega unlucky you can literally appear the exact same spot someone else was about to be stabbed in the face.

Could a person prosper in post-ravaged Innistrad?

> Not picking Theros to live out the comfiest of patrician ancient greek lifestyles

Literal definition of plebian taste.

What would be the best kind of magic for a normal person turned planeswalker to use?

In what way?

blue

I'd stay at home

It's almost noblebright, almost, it's that pleasant.
What part would ya live at? The proud warrior bits? the philosopher magician bits? or the massive forest-city bits?

Blue or green. Blue for mind reading, scrying, and gaining general advantages without necessarily being outed as a mage. Green if you want to remain a commoner and do agricultural things. When you can funnel mana from dozens on planes into your crop, those fuckers one county over wont be able to compete.

Assuming you just want to remain mostly normal on a no/low magic plane.

>every plane we've seen has gotten its shit fucked
How about I don't tell you where I am, so WotC can't fuck me over?

>Living in Dominaria would be like living in like Israel or Europe right now, where even though it's super dangerous
Do you think europe is a warzone or something?

Big cities in Sweden and France, yeah.

Spend less time on /pol/ and more time outside.

i don't think you know shit about anything

Moag might be a great place to live; then again, there might still be some Phyrexians lurking there.

Equilor has some pretty powerful people whom I might gain knowledge from, but it might be too depressing to live there for too long.

Hi, I'm french, is this a joke?

No, it's what the Alt-Right actually believe.

Edgy

That depends, what do I really like?

I like living in a place that is clean, safe, and somewhat rural. I also like Blacksmithing, reading, and good BBQ.

That rules out some of the planes like Ravnica or Fiora. I'm sure normal citizens get along mostly fine, but I'd really rather not deal with goblin rioters, Tyranical Queens, Rakdos kill parties, or overly nosy Azorius Law Mages. Not saying I wouldn't visit Ravnica to shop or take in a show, but much rather find an abandoned place and Planeswalk away rather than spend the night.

Innistrad might fit the bill, if it wasn't for all the vampires, Werewolves, demons, zombies, and now mutants around. Can't really go off and live in a cabin outside of town without the townies trying to lynch you for being a cannibal. Or the townies trying to lynch you because they are cannibals.

So, that what kinds of planes are left? Kamigawa? Admitted, I'm a Weeb, but Kamigawa seems like a place to visit rather than a place to live, especially when everything you do has to be with a prayer to appease the Kami, else they kill your ass dead. Zendikar seems like you have a real chance of starving to death, given that the plane was fucked over by the Eldrazi. If you don't join a Dragon clan in Tarkir, you're fucked. Theros has a similar problem with Kamigawa in that you have to worship the Gods. Mirrodin is now Zombieland.

I think Kaladesh is the answer. Probably one of the safer planes, as long as you stay away from the underground, especially given that the Consulate is recently reformed. What I'd really like to do is travel the Planes, learn what I can from the different Blacksmiths everywhere, but come back to Kaladesh to sleep.

>I like living in a place that is clean, safe, and somewhat rural. I also like Blacksmithing, reading, and good BBQ.
Why not lorwyn? Or did that place get fucked to death as well? There's the whole turn into shadowmoor part but you could probably just fuck off when that was going on

Is Zendikar unfucked now? Is going there, finding yourself a Kor girlfriend or two a good plan?

I thought the cycle was broken?

I'd totally do Lorwyn. A lone Gandalf in a plane wide shire?

Yes please

You're still going to have to deal with wild and disorganized Eldrazi, a roiling Zendikar and other threats. But it's safer than it was during RoE-BfZ.

Definitely Ravnica. Hit the Gym finally, rip off my shirt and start stabbing motherfuckers in a Rakdos murderparty, fall in with them, have some orgies and then get printed as a card in the next Ravnica block, hopefully spouting enough snarky wit that Wizards doesn't kill me off at the end of the block and I have another 5-6 years of guaranteed life because they'd wait until the next Ravnica block to murder me. Perhaps show up in a commander set or two.

Because I had stopped playing right before Lorwyn and didn't even think of it.

Also, I'm not sure how the plane is now that Lorwyn and Shadowmoor have been combined. Would I still be hunted by Elves for being an Eyeblight, or are they much more chill now?

Flamekin might be cool to hang out with though.

>Would I still be hunted by Elves for being an Eyeblight, or are they much more chill now?
Since you're a planeswalker, couldn't you just learn some cheap magic to plastic surgery or glamor yourself into being beautiful?

I know I would be a blue red planeswalker but there really is no other plane I would rather be on than our universe or a personal meditation plane.
The magic universe is pretty shitty since there are all these magical beings like demons present on just about every plane that can fuck up your shit out of nowhere. Why risk it?

You could if you were able to use blue mana.

Tarkir
So I can save Ugin

Actually Theros, so I can have sex with Wonder Woman

Ugin's already been saved by Sarkhan though. Go there to save Anafenza.

or Alesha

Honestly they all seem pretty shitty, including this one
Mirrodin could've been cool

Without having read the novels, and going entirely off the cards, Lorwyn seems comfy as balls.

As long as you avoid the elves and it doesn't turn into shadowmoor, yeah.

Lorwyn is the hotel california
it seems nice
but they you can't even leave and it turns awful rapidly

1. Go to Kaladesh and steal the planar portal
2. Go to New Phyrexia and strike the deal with Elesh Norn
3. Live forever in comfort and security being provided with whatever luxuries and research materials you require
3a. Captured concubines willing to do literally anything to avoid being compleated will keep you externally satisfied
3a. The thought of countless worlds perishing under the unstoppable wave of conquest you've helped to launch will keep you internally satisifed

She'd just compleate you.

And then you wouldn't have a penis anymore.

not if you've read the book

Which book, because Scars of Mirrodin: Quest for Karn is a giant pile of noncanon bullshit.

I was just memeing with picture in and the word deal in

I don't read MTG books so I was going off of her flavor text and counting on
(0) I can find a way to communicate with her remotely
(1) getting a planar portal would be more valuable to Elesh than compleating me so she'd deal instead of launching a manhunt
(2) once a deal for protection, tribute and not compleating me is struck she'll keep to it because mono-W

Planeswalkers can't be compleated. Their spark resists it, IIRC

nope, they die like everything else made of flawed flesh and then get gloriously reimagined into a blessed perfection.
The spark does not survive though.

Bant seems like the best place to live, overall. I'm into the whole justice, peace, and order thing.

Red and Black Mana can suck it.

Home base in Ravnica, because as fucked as it is, I love it.

Vacation all the time to Naya for sick Safari's, and Lorwyn for serene nature walks and landscape painting though.

If Alara wasn't reborn, easily Naya. If I was a planeswalker there would be a decent chance that I wouldn't get stomped by some gargantuan on my second day, and trees big enough to house city's and animals big enough to trample said trees make me rock hard

Depends.

Am I an Oldwalker or a Nu-walker?

the real question

nu-walker obv. If you are a real oldwalker you can create whatever plane you want and live there.

As an Esper walker, I'd obviously enjoy Esper if it weren't a part of New Alara. Kaladesh it is.

Being french is a joke

At first, Ravnica. A giant city-world has its' uses. After a while, I'd start branching out, looking for a 'wild-west' type world to park myself in and be at home.

>where would you go
Lowyn
>Why Lowyn?
to try and hook up with my favorite commander
pic related . somehow work out how to win all my battles by just having toughness only, being like a unstoppable 0/20 walker.

Maybe after I figure out the secrets of being fat. i'll try and work under the amazing God Pharaoh. he knows what he's doing.

clearly I owuld then join nicol bolas to get that sweet sweet old walker action

>Implying Bolas shares power

At best Bolas would use you up and spit you out. More likely he'd just straight up kill you.

daddy Bolas works like a lawful evil employer, you be nice to him and he'll tickle your pickle right back.

right up until he Sarkhan's you.

considering my goals would be the exact same as his I could see the relationship working out

And garner the attention of petty gods? Fuck that.
What about Segovia? Does one shrink to the appropriate size for a miniature plane, or do you stay the same? If you stay the same, bingo, you're now their god.

Kaladesh

Does Zendikar still have a roil, or did the release and fall of the Eldrazi leave Zendikar relieved?

Bant seems like it would've been fun. High adventure, and all that.

Push come to shove, I'd have to go with Ravnica. There's nowhere quite like it, and it wouldn't be too hard to steer clear of all the guild chaos and just chill. Theros is also tempting, though.

As a Selesnya or Bant walker, I'd ideally like to live in the Bant parts of Alara, but Ravnica or Kaladesh would also work. Those seem to be the general favorites.

>However after all of the events of innistrad I would live there because after all of the eldrazi die off it will probably be safer than it ever will be.
You realize most of the guardian angels are dead, like we're pretty sure only Sigarda herself is left, the magic the church wielded is gone, zombies and werewolves are going to crop back up and Vampires simply had their numbers reduced, not extinguished, right?

Ojutai Tarkir is also pretty bad, if you don't obey the doctrine or step slightly out of line you're liable to be branded a heretic, then frozen and/or eaten by dragons

If you have enough power, you might be able to free Sorin and he just might help unfuck the plane. He doesn't have the power to create another avacyn afaik, but he might be able to help.

Theros. Fuck satyrs, live a cozy greek life. Fuck tritons. Kill monsters and become legend or do some major philosophy. Fuck Nymphs. Earn the favor of a god. Fuck followers of said god. Fuck humans, but only the pretty ones. Then get called a faggot for not joining the group frotting session. Fun times.

>she'll keep to it because mono-W
Her desire to fix the flesh by compeating your ass is the mono-W think to do. In fact, dealing with you is completely antithetical to her ideals, so by mono-W standards, she'd compleat you when you handed the portal over or hunt you down to make sure your compleated asap.

That is way above what Sorin can do. He can't uneldrazi the plane. Most likely he's going to mindlsaver you into helping him hunt down and stab Nahiri.

Assuming he doesn't eat you to save himself from starvation. Or worse, Mindslaver you. Make sure you bring someone else, preferably some jerk, with you to feed Sorin. Not only will you likely not die, but he might feel grateful for your thoughtfulness

Don't Tritons hate humans?
Satyrs will try to steal from you, enslave you, and probably rape and/or torture you for funsies. If your idea of fucking them is "zealously slaughter them with glee", then by all means go for it, but be prepared.
Nymphs are usually ok.
Half the gods are assholes. Be careful.
The Oreskos hate humans, but I'm not sure if they're assholes for other reasons.

Satyrs, tritons and, nymphs oh my. Then again I'd be all over kitsune, soratami, and yuki-onna. Theros would be on my regular holiday list since Kaladesh doesn't have much going on.

Tritons don't really hate humans, there're plenty of them living in Meletis for instance. They just live apart and think stuff like "Poor humans, don't have gills so they can't REALLY swim."

Satyrs occasionally try and lure you into satyr lands for crazy revels where they treat you like shit, but even those victims get let go eventually.
Fucking individual satyrs would be fine though. They'd just basically be the equivalent of drunk party girls on a college campus except even if they did see it as rape they'd go "Eh, fair enough."
Then steal from your fruit tree.

The main assholes are Heliod, Phenax, Mogis, and depending on time of day: Keranos. The rest are a bit more chill. Except Xenagos, but he's dead. I'd say worship Ephara.
I think the Oreskos don't hate humans, but they don't like the human gods so they stay away from people.

The soratami are definitely a favorite of mine. I'm annoyed that there aren't any red or black kitsune though. Even if Japanese mythology they spent a lot of time as monsters or playful tricksters in addition to being the original waifus.
Honestly Zendikar would be my vacation plane of choice now that the Roil is gone and the eldrazi are removed. Kor stoneforging is actually really cool and Zendikar elves and merfolk are both really attractive with good tits.

Theros is probably the best choice, give or take your ability to keep your mouth shut about the multiverse, followed by Ravnica or Kaladesh.

Worst choices are probably Innistrad, Tarkir, Amonkhet, and Phyrexia. Maybe also Zendikar, depending on how many Eldrazi spawn are left.

All of Ulamog's and Kozilek's brood are dead, once the two titans bit the dust. Their brood were part of them, not separate creatures.

Emrakul brood, however, we don't know. There was Vestige of Emrakul which was still around after she left Zendikar. It's too bad we don't know what happened to her mutants after she got trapped in the Silver Moon, given WE DIDN'T GET A FUCKING EPILOGUE TO ELDRITCH MOON.

WE JUST HAD TO GO TO FIORA WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A GOODBYE SO WE COULD WITNESS THE ADVENTURES OF A PLANESWALKER DESIGNED BY A BLOGGER. THAT WAS FAR MORE IMPORTANT THAN GIVING US A WRAP UP TO THE ELDRAZI OR INNISTRAD STORIES. I AM STILL MAD.

It doesn't matter. I'm going to accidentally fuck everything up horribly anyways.

>ywn have Wizards make a card of your shitty self-insert Planeswalker OC with an arbitrary hatred for something
>ywn have said card be overcosted and have some weird gimmick unrelated to what the character actually does
>ywn have your card printed in a set almost no one cares about

I seriously hope the Core Sets update us on how Innistraid is doing, if that is appropriate.

I don't want to have wizards make a card with my shitty OC.

I want to make an entire goddamn set of cards and walk up to wizards' offices, drop the printed copy of the set off, and ask if they have a job opening.

Why stop with one set? I'd make an entire three block story, all cards, and tie it into the current lore.

That's actually what I'm doing right now. Two block set, actual plotline, focusing on some walkers that aren't currently in the spotlight alongside a separate plotline of legendaries on the plane that ends in total fucking disaster.
Also it's Viking themed.

>Your shit OC's ehole gimmick is that he's a big dude in armor who kicks things.
>No spells, only different forms of kicking.
>Dozens of cards depicting him kicking things from bears, to eldrazi, to Jace.

My idea was just rip of world history. Not like anyone reads THAT shit...
I wish that last part could be sarcastic

my shitty magic OC is a U/R storm shaman

fuck sorry i know it's not related i just thought we were all talking about shitty magic OCs.

There is sometimes a thread for this

Yeah. I remember those threads. I don't usually post in them but some combination of loneliness and booze has made me more open. Plus I just think U/R is the perfect weather combination and I think weather is badass irl.

I was glad they made Keranos the storm god. Kind of wish he was a little more exciting though.

Can you imagine the crazy weather systems across the multiverse too? A storm on Zendikar would be ridiculous. I'd love to watch the deluge of water from somewhere far, far away.

They SOMETIMES are still up. It's weird

Muraganda?

Personally either Tarkir, under Dromoka or ,and I do not joke, Silumgar, being they both the comfier of the 5 dragon-states.
OR
Kaladesh, but only really for indian waifus.

All of the options on new tarkir are shit. You're gonna be fucked by a big dumb lizard no matter which path you choose.

Dromoka is best girl, shut your whore mouth.

To be honest, if I lived on the plane I'd make it my business to try and slay Atarka, or atleast mind fuck her into submission.

Nah, Bolas is not LE, he's NE. The moment he decides you're more useful to him as a mindslave you'll become a mindslave.

Also, if he ever gets a godwalker power, his first order of business will be to kill every other planeswalker. If you'll help him achieve that power, that would include you big time because you might have a hint. I'd take my chances with Emrakul before I try to deal with Bolas tbqh.

I feel like Emrakul has a different goal to her brothers.