Character archetypes

...No? Level 1, at least in a D&D context, means you're an adventurer with a basic set of skills. You still grew up somewhere, you still had to receive training in the skills you possess, you'll have still worked for or earned the equipment you start with, etc etc.

That's a backstory. It's just an appropriate backstory for the game. If you start low level, you need a humble backstory, if you start high level you need an epic one. But either way, you still need a backstory.

You pick a thing that is literally called a background. You are wrong or trolling.

How narrow minded you are. Level 1 characters are all pic related then. Or is even that too much backstory for you?

A character can have a basic past and upbringing and still easily justify being level 1. Even if their backstory is just about someone else they admire and aspire to be like. Something that says nothing of their own personal experience. Not all backstory has to mean veteran of multiple wars, hero of the Gods, etc. etc.

Forgot my pic.

honestly there's more people that hate edgelords than there are actual edgelords out there these days. White Wolf's passing makes that number smaller every day, and not even a Vampire revival has helped the waning population.

So your character just materialized out of thin air and instantly decided to go adventuring?

Having player character levels requires a backstory, otherwise you'd be an NPC class.

Something has clearly happened for you to break out of being a mere NPC and set off adventuring.
A level 1 Fighter is strange and unusual, NPC fighting men have NPC Warrior class levels.

They've mostly moved on to Pathfinder and RP Forums, or any MMOs RP server. They're sorta like furries, there's not alot of them but holy fuck are the rare encounters an experience.

No you faggots. I don't care about the background that you choose in character creation, I'm talking about when failed writers send their goddamn essay of a character to you and expect you to read their wacky adventures of the Level 1 Human Fighter.

If your "backstory" is longer than a sentence and you're level 1 you're doing it wrong.

...

So you're just using shitty language.

You're not against backstories. You want people to have appropriate backstories. Which is', y'know, always true.

Although one sentence seems a bit ridiculous. The most boring person by the age of independence will still merit a short paragraph, at the very least. And if you're going to adventure, you aren't the most boring person, or at least you shouldn't be.

Good fucking luck getting whatever that monstrosity of a dueling blade is out of it's current position

They were made six a pop in a cauldron by a bored witch, duh.

Again, the character needs some sort of backstory to be a Level 1 Fighter at all, otherwise he's a Level 3 NPC Warrior and not eligible for play.

I could see there being a kinda cool setting in this. A world where nascent adventurers aren't born, they just appear, with gear and basic combat skills, emerging into the world to bring heroism or havoc, depending on their skill and inclination.

Elf waifus who totally were adopted by a savage race that normally hates them and proceed to pick petty fights endlessly because they have something to prove. And god forbid they can't win every single time.

>Humanoids just pop into existence in isolated fields. Or in dire cases, in towns outside taverns
>They promptly go on murder sprees, growing exponentially in power as they kill.
That's some cosmic horror stuff right there.

Know-it-all players who play high-INT know-it-all characters.

I'm not superfamiliar with it so correct me if I'm wrong but isn't this literally Kingdom Death?

The "ninja". That ratfuck coward (you know the one) that attempts to "stealth" in plain sight and assume it works like stealth camo, disguise themselves as NPC hitchhikers and steal from the other PCs, expect their half-assed lie to be perfectly believable because they rolled well, and worst of all (only in D&D) conceal their alignment so the party smitebot can't strike down upon them with great vengeance and furious anger. Granted, I usually focus on ranged combat or knowledge so I'm no paragon of courage, but I at least I try to contribute.

>So my character is the arrogant noble who can't stand for people to disobey him/her
>My character also gets really violent towards anyone who doesn't immediately respect them

They are invariably played by whiny players who get upset whenever one of the other PCs hurts their character in pretty obvious self defense

You seem to think that backstories are necessarily overly detailed mary sue fanfiction. A backstory of any arbitrary length is still a backstory weather you like it or not. A single sentence or a 50 page writeup could both be a backstory.

Although most of what you talk about is pure That Guyism, there's one thing I don't exactly agree with.

>expect their half-assed lie to be perfectly believable because they rolled well

I'm always of the opinion that you should interpret a players actions through the lens of their stats. The worlds most charismatic player shouldn't be able to talk their way out of trouble with a terrible roll, and even if someone struggles, as long as they make an effort it's worth giving them the benefit of the doubt if they did roll well.

In the context of everything else you posted, I can understand just not wanting to give them the time of day, but in general I do think it's better to take a players intentions and assess them based on their stats and rolls, what their character should be capable of rather than what they personally are capable of.

This can be fun if they do it right
They can either play fish out of water types or get to be the expert for one session when you actually play to their character

It's not my fault some people at the table are too slow to keep up.

Perhaps I should clarify. Yes, the character's roll/capabilities can fill in for the player's roleplaying issues if need be. That's part of the point of player/character separation. But a player expecting an NPC to believe a lie like "Your wife is an abyssal hippopotamus" just because they rolled well is a serious stretch. I guess my complaint ties into the "assuming a skill works like a spell" problem, rather than a player/character separation problem.
In short, stealth skill=/=invisibility, and bluff/diplomacy/intimidate skill=/=mind control.

Yeah, that's completely legit player retardation you've got there.

>If your "backstory" is longer than a sentence and you're level 1 you're doing it wrong.

Even the most boring do-nothing loser you know still has a backstory longer than 1 sentence, and he's surely never picked up a sword and set off to risk life and limb in far-off dungeons for scraps of coin.

>This is Bob Smith, a washed-out temp worker. He became an underachiever early in life, when he exploited the American public education system to the earn acceptably passing grades with the least amount of effort.
>Bob came to regret this when he didn't qualify for any of the universities he wanted, but stuck in his ways he settled for vocational college rather than take make-up courses.
>Unable to find work in the field he studied for, Bob has withered away any ambition or social skills he once had after several years of graveyard shifts performing unskilled labor.
>Bob's favorite food is Mediterranean take-out because that's the only fast-food joint still open when his shift is over, and his only hobby is watching carpentry videos on youtube.

Yet it happens every time somebody makes a stealthy character. Pic is probably the solution, once I can get them to play something other than PF.

Oh shit this is bait... FUCK I never bothered to grab a fish macro. Time to improvise. Cthulhu is a fish, right?

We gotta neepon steel and a rolls to seduce. The first one is annoying cuz we've talked to him about it and he won't take the lesson that the setting has no japan/japanese/samurai/or other such weeaboo nonsense. The other guy is weird because he get laid pretty often so idk why he wants to roll to seduce all the time. But what are you going to do?

"I just want an quiet life."

I used to get pissy whenever someone wanted to play as an "assassin", but now that assassin's the only one actively TRYING to not derail the campaign train Henderson style.

bait

That macro is bigger than I remembered it being....

>Derailing

Why do people find enjoyment in this? It's the most child-like level of power plays. Derailing proves nothing except for the fact you're an uncooperative retard who can't handle not being the center of attention.

ones with a stick up their ass, whose most defining feature is that they try to spite other party members and be contrarian. bonus points if they go after players that they have an ooc disagreement with, just so they can bully under a thin disguise of "my character would do it, hes a dick".

that said, if the player isnt an asshole, their asshole character can be good. pic related.

Shit you pissed me off.
I also hate player who try that bullshit with me since it gives them justification to constantly whine in character and behave like an ultra cunt and coward.
Now, I just tell them its a no-go and make a new character since this isn't the counselling anonymous.

I think there's a difference between Rincewind and Cincinnatus.

The "Oh, I play monk who believes in balance, let me fucking kill city guard\fuck up NPC encounter\etc because otherwise it wouldn't be balance". Some sickly abstract ideology of PC can be juggled by player as he wishes. The worst part is when other guys try to argument this type into not wrecking shit, and it eventually fucks up the whole session.

>Here is my backstory user!
>Thanks player A, I'll read it and make sure there isn't any major conflicting issues
>Read through it, well written, three pages long, succinct, and fits really well into the world
>Awesome player A, we'll start next week
>Next week comes, players get involved in first fight of campaign, knock out one of the bad guys
>After battle, asking him questions, find out he's part of a bandit crew that showed up in area a few weeks ago
>Player A rolls to attack him
>"My father was killed by this bandit group!"

That shit wasn't anywhere in his backstory, nor did it make sense with the timeline. We just all rolled with it and I talked to him about it after, but I've met other players who pull this shit often enough.

You can have one of mine user.

>no experience = no story
Who taught you to roleplay? A newborn?