The villain is weaker than the party and has to come up with stupid schemes to try and ruin them

>the villain is weaker than the party and has to come up with stupid schemes to try and ruin them

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>the villain is powerful enough to crush the party in a straight fight, but tries stupid schemes anyway because he thinks that's how villains are supposed to act

> the villain is weaker than the party and has to come up with stupid schemes to try and ruin them
> Villain's plan is to travel back in time and bang the hero's hot mom.
His priorities look pretty solid to me, user.

>the villain wants to be put in prison, so tries stupid schemes in an attempt to lose to heroes who will then arrest him

Holy shit is that real?!

Silver age was wacky.

>the villain is actually just larping

>the villain is powerful enough to crush the party in a straight fight, and does so

The hero is the villain.

>superman
>hero

Go away, Luthor. It's not Superman's fault that you're bald.

In the Smallville universe, it is. Luthor lost his hair because he was too close to the ship's crash, IIRC.

Also one silver age Superboy comic had Luthor bee Superboy's biggest fan untill Supes accidentally caused him to lose his luxurious hair, after which he swore to dedicate the rest of his life to killing him.

Silver age comics were kind of dumb, if anybody hasn't noticed yet.

>Silver age comics were kind of dumb
You mean awesome.

God just look at Supes' smug shiteating grin.
Christ.
More like Superdouche.

Yeah but he's doing that for a super good reason that will save the world or both Aquaman and Jimmy.

>Lex luthor uses science to replicate the "who's your daddy" spell.

That's not actually Superman, but Proteus, The Old Man of The Sea disguised as Superman. He gave Jimmy powers like Aquaman's, in order to trick both Jimmy and Aquaman into this stupid contest and kill Aquaman, so Proteus could carry on sinking ships

The fuck went on in Aquaman's mind when he thought it would be a good idea to follow Sperman and his "pal" Jimmy Olsen into the desert?

>WhenTheGMRemembersYouTookEnviromentalDependenceAsADrawback.jpg

Can't he fly in some incarnations?
Not this one, I suppose.

You might be thinking of Namor with his little ankle wings

...

There's no way they didn't realize how hilarious this was when they were creating it.

They didn't give a fuck, they just had to push the issue out before deadline. Back then they were marketed strictly to kids who will buy them regardless anyway.

That's some proto-cucking memes right there

>Silver age comics were kind of whimsical and fun
FTFY

That's the twist ending in Superman Red Son..

True. I didn't mean they were bad, just silly and weird. I prefer them to most modern comics who try to tell dark and serious stories about people flying around in brightly coloured tights and punching each other (not that there aren't good examples of serious takes on superhero comics, but so many authors mistake being dark and edgy for profundity when trying to imitate the good examples. At least bad silver age stories are usually still enjoyable for the sheer silliness and WTF-ery).

Jimmy isn't allowed any happiness in his life.

I know what you mean.

I'm starting to feel like there's more demand for that kind of levity than some modern creators are willing to admit.

>Silver age comics were comical
Wow who'da thunk it

Just FYI, these "DOOM TOOTS WHEN HE PLEASES!" comics are part of Marvels "younger readers" line, where the point of the comic is to teach very young children how to read.

Now if you want to read a really funny comic, look up one of the Marvel anti-smoking or anti-drug comics from the 1980s or 1990s.

Superman and Lex have a beautiful relationship

But is it more beautiful than Aquaman's and Black Manta's relationship?

Nothing can top such pure unfiltered hatred.

I hope they re-do a "How's the wife and kids?" soon.

>tfw you gain ultimate power but can't use it to do the one thing you've spent your entire life trying to achieve.

So did Lex forfeit his godlike status just so that it's not impossible for him to destroy Superman?

Yeah, pretty much

Some modern writers are certainly aware that the comic industry as a whole kind of went off the deep end with trying to be taken seriously. I personally think it happened because writers and artists saw Watchmen come out in 1986, had their minds blown, but then took the wrong lessons from Watchmen, taking the grittiness and violence but losing all the meaning and symbolism. The sad fact is that for most of the comic industry, the inmates are literally running the asylum and the creators are pulled from the toxic fanbase who only reads comics and never grew up. That is changing though.

There are writers fighting in the other direction, trying to write comics that are deep and meaningful without losing the whimsy and light heartedness that makes superhero comics great. Grant Morrison is a great example, he has intentionally been on a mission to "reconstruct" comics as opposed to Alan Moore's "deconstruction" of comics.

How edgy.

>Some modern writers are certainly aware that the comic industry as a whole kind of went off the deep end with trying to be taken seriously. I personally think it happened because writers and artists saw Watchmen come out in 1986, had their minds blown, but then took the wrong lessons from Watchmen, taking the grittiness and violence but losing all the meaning and symbolism. The sad fact is that for most of the comic industry, the inmates are literally running the asylum and the creators are pulled from the toxic fanbase who only reads comics and never grew up. That is changing though.
I shill this a lot, but if anyone here would like to see a good representation of how an industry insider from the Dark Age of comics viewed the Silver Age and the Dark Age/Age of Pouches that he had inadvertently helped spawn, check out Alan Moore's 1963. The actual comic part of the issues is great, but the real satire is in the letters columns.

Then if you really like them, google around and find the unfinished scripts that give an even more scathing commentary of how bad the publishers in the 1960s-70s treated their employees.

This thread has reminded me how I once considered running a campaign set in the DC Universe, with Jimmy Olsen as a regular NPC, along with Rex the Wonder Dog.
Superman adopted Jimmy, then one of his computers predicted that "Superman's son would die", so Superman tried to push Jimmy away.

It later turned out the computer meant Superman's SUN would die i.e. a sun that was named after Superman or some bullshit. Jimmy was surprisingly okay with it, but didn't want to be readopted.
Alan did some amazing work in the 90's and early 00's... then his wife divorced him, and everyone kept bugging him about his old stuff

I tell y'what, dang ol' yo man, can't be gettin that superman. talkin' bout dang ol peace yo

What did Grant Morrison "construct", then? Got titles?

All Star Superman is really the big one and the most direct example of what I'm talking about, but it sort of works its way into alot of his work, especially his DC work. His Superman, Batman, and Justice League comics specifically are meant as revitalization of the characters that modernize them while bringing back that classic comics sensibility.

Heres a good list:

Batman and Son
Batman: The Black Glove
Batman RIP
Batman and Robin
Batman Incorporated
All Star Superman
Action Comics volume 2
JLA
JLA: Earth 2
DC One Million
Flex Mentallo - The Man of Muscle Mystery
Seven Soldiers
Multiversity

>Now if you want to read a really funny comic, look up one of the Marvel anti-smoking or anti-drug comics from the 1980s or 1990s.

I was a big Marvel fan growing up, so this dusty relic from before the Dark Age of Technology was the only print example from my collection featuring the Teen Titans that I could show my kids when they started watching Teen Titans GO! on Cartoon Network.

It's from 1983, so the "President" referred to on the cover is Ronald Reagan. There's a message from Nancy Reagan on the inside front cover.

>THE AMERICAN SOFT DRINK INDUSTRY
>THE PRESIDENT'S DRUG AWARENESS CAMPAIGN

Aw shit yeah user, this is golden

I would be very happy if you were going to storytime this gem

Since nobody posted it yet.

What was that one really stupid Superman rip-off where the villain had a plan to shrink everybody?

I don't remember much about it other than that the author was a dick IRL.

Stardust the Super Wizard?

That's the one, thanks.

What I like about Morrison's Batman is that he writes Batman as a troubled guy, but who has mostly managing to work through his problems and become a very functional person. It never made sense to me that Batman could travel the world learning dozens of forms of martial arts, meditation, philosophy and academic disciplines and still be the tortured psychopathic mess that some writers write him as. Thats just not really how real life works and many of those things like martial arts and meditation are in fact treatments for trauma and mental illness. Batman to me is much more interesting as someone who suffered immense trauma and then rose above it to become a better person, than someone who totally gave in to that trauma and descended into the dark.

>took the wrong lessons from Watchmen, taking the grittiness and violence but losing all the meaning and symbolism

I think it's pretty simple: You can easily imitate being grumpy and cynical, but quality and good writing are not so easily imitated.

Flex Mentallo is how I paladin

Does anyone have that comic page where Clark Kent has to defuse bombs at a party without revealing he's Superman so he starts dancing which causes micro vibrations that stop the bombs?

...

Holy shit that's fabulous. The art is great. Really get a sense of the dance motion

Glad I wasn't the only one thinking that.

>Dibbeliedood
>Doobadoba
wtf is with these notes

youtube.com/watch?v=Hy8kmNEo1i8

>Rex the Wonder Dog
I have no idea what this is, but I need more of it

He was originally the Green Lanterns dog but then became more popular than the Green Lantern so they gave the whole comic to him.

>Losing your comic to your own dog
That's rough

I once ran a game for two of my friends that was basically "The Life and Times of Jimmy Olsen and Lois Lane" where they had to play two regular civilians who just so happened to be friends with a godlike superhero who loves to psychologically torture them, gaslight them, and subject them to increasingly bizarre and surreal torments. It was honestly hilarious and one of the funniest Veeky Forums related things I have ever been a part of.

Every single one of these covers deserves to be in a museum.

Got any good stories?

>the villain is weaker than the party, but gets a huge buff and becomes far more powerful than the party but still comes up with stupid schemes to try and ruin them because that's the true villain way

I don't believe you so I really hope you prove me wrong

Actually, that was Rex's dad, Streak. Rex was a K-9 unit in WWII, and got into all kinds of shenanigans

Alternatively it's to teach them a lesson.

It makes me giggle more that it should. But in the bottom left panel I like to read Lara's speech bubble as "Son of a Bitch!"
Like she just realised what was happening some how.

youtube.com/watch?v=IZvz6oFTHAE

>End of aquaman movie
>Splash of water heard as cameras flash
>"HOW'S THE WIFE AND KIDS?!"

>not "ruff"

I know why is Lex Luthor still bald with all that godlike power.

Of all of the people in the DC universe of course its Green Lantern

Superman actually made Lex bald. When they were kids in Smallville, Lex was attempting some crazy experiment which was going to blow up and kill him, but Superboy saved him at the last minute, but the exploding chemicals made him bald. Lex blamed Superboy(man) for his going bald and would rather have died in the explosion or completed his experiment.

Honestly that is why Luthor is so great. He is the smartest most clever man in the world going against the strongest man in the world, in a contest to see who can make the world better, and Lex is such a petty shitty asshole that even though he could literally revolutionize the entire global system and bring mankind into a utopia, he doesn't, and won't, and will never, all because Superman would still exist and would still be better than him at everything.

...

This is how lex sees superman.

That could actually make for a pretty cool story.
>How would a truly alien and monstrous Superman be?
>would the Kents still adopt and raise him?
>would he have the same boyscout personality?
>how would the world react to him?

This is fantastic

>Turns out it was fated anyway
>Main hero turns out to be villain's son/daughter
Fool

this makes me want to read comics

If he kept a lot of his basic personality that could be really heartwarming actually. Not sure if he would get adopted, but I could see him being the local town urban legend, the monster that people see darting out of the cornfields and rummaging through garbage for food. He sees the worst humanity has to offer, and decides that he can be better, and help others be better too. A horror with heroic intentions.

I wonder what would happen with Lois though.

I remember we used to have some Dr Strange storytimes here a long time ago.

Make her a nosy reporter trying to figure out all the strange happenings in the city a la cthulhu mythos

Eldritch superman is quickly becoming the thing I need in this world.

According to Beauty and the Beast if your personality is quality enough you can look like a foul beast and still get someone to fall in love with you.
So now Lois Lane has a crush on the hellish Superxeno.

>Kal-El, horrible toothy mawed tenticle monster crashlands on earth
>near the home of blind old widow Kent
>Pa Kent passed away years ago from the cancer
>She lives alone, keeping herself busy with knitting and weeding and listening to the grainy barely working TV. Sometimes a nurse visits to check on her and help her tidy up
>Well she can't see none but she knows a baby in need when she finds it
>raises Kal-El to be her own
>He grows fast - too fast
>Watches police procedurals and cartoons on the grainy TV
>also the nightly news. He really likes the news. Some day, he's gonna be a reporter! Once he figures out the 'can't show himself to people' part.
>Eventually, Ma Kent passes away
>Her family sells the house and land
>'Clark' is forced to leave, decides to follow his dreams like Ma would have wanted, travels to the big ol' city metropolis
>Sure is big, lots of people
>but lots of spaces he can stay hidden
>folks ain't neighborly like Ma said folks should be though
>that man is hurting that lady. I better give him a talking to like Ma would've
>man fucking wets himself in terror from eldritch horror telling him in a relaxed southern drawl to be more gentlemanly, runs screaming and crying into the night
>woman isn't much better off as he hands her the purse she almost lost with an oozing tendril
>She warn't nice but thats to be expected, Ma said folks could be right peaked about strangers, and he's figured out by now he don't look like nobody else
>The following night, he's watching his favorite show - the news
>Hey, he made the news!
>Suddenly it hits him
>how he can help people and live his dream
>Maybe he can't be on the news like Ron Squarejaw or Louis Lane
>But he can BE the news
>Superhorror is born
>patterns himself after the hokey tv shows and cartoons he used to watch

Considering the DC universe has inhuman beings and other weirdos be actual heroes, eldritch Kent honestly wouldn't be too out of place as a superhero and everybody would come around to liking him. Except for Batman, who's convinced he's the harbinger of the apocalypse or something.

Every time Batman has questioned his fellow heroes he's been proven right eventually. He's probably the smartest fucker in the entire DC universe.

Stop Batshitposting, Bruce.

He almost got the entire justice league killed. And his only safeguard against himself is the league. The league where he knows everyone personally and has plans to defeat them all.

>please be patient I have autism

Technically I think his safeguard is his family. Specifically Dick, Tim, and these days even Jason can be relied on to take him down.

Nah, Bruce has seen enough freaky shit. They'd be cool if Clark kept his personality

This makes Kryptonians way more terrifying too. When Zod shows up, it's a nightmare.

It also means Braniac is probably designed less like a humanoid and more like an eldritch hypercube, which would be fucking awesome.

That's the most wholesome thing I've ever seen. It watered my crops, saved my children, and made my wife fertile

That Grant Morrison quote is the single best description of Superman to exist.

After all, he's just a kid from a small town who's come to the city.

That is a superhero.

And has to fight supervillians.