After killing the evil in the dungeon, you find a tiny mermaid in a bottle

After killing the evil in the dungeon, you find a tiny mermaid in a bottle.

wat do?

Keep it. Bottle mermaids are adorable pets.

Teach her a trick, it's called Bottoms Up!

Dip my little finger in the water and see how she reacts.

Keep her trapped, the evil I conquered only committed evil acts in order to keep her, the ultimate evil, sealed

Help her get back to the ocean, starting by finding any potential records of where she was bought or what body of water she came from. In the mean time I can make sure she isn't some horrifying monster that'll depopulate coastal villages if released.

If I'm reasonably sure she isn't I go on a heartfelt little side-quest.

...

>Dip my little finger in the water and see how she reacts.
the lid to the bottle wont come off. on closer inspection, it appears that the top of the bottle has been sealed by a glazier.

Flush it down a toilet

you shake the bottle and the mermaid sloshes around inside. you raise the bottle up to your eys and watch as the mermaid's spinning slowly stops and she looks dizzy. after regaining her balance, she looks at you and frowns

Kill it like the rest

Is this gonna turn into Lounge of Mermaid Tears all over again?

I put my dick in the bottle.

let her out course, that small a bottle means she's being poisoned by her own excrements

>Lounge of Mermaid Tears
what is that?

Observe. Record any signs of aggression, attempts at communication, or any other indications of intelligence.

proper care and feeding time.

Wouldn't she suffocate then.

...

>Observe. Record any signs of aggression, attempts at communication, or any other indications of intelligence.
you watch the mermaid in the bottle, and she watches you back. after a minute or two, the mermaid starts to pound on the glass and seems to be yelling at you. strangely, their is no sound coming from the bottle despite the ruckus she makes inside.

Tap ear, shake head, hope for a clearer message.

Is there any air hole on the bottle? It shouldn't be silent if there is

the mermaid drops her hands to her side and watches your signals. her expression is obviously frustrated, and clenches her fists, and spins around in the bottle. she starts to push on the top of the lid of the bottle.

>Is there any air hole on the bottle? It shouldn't be silent if there is
there is no airhole. the lid of the bottle is sealed. you ask yourself, how did the mermaid has survive inside a sealed bottle? very strange

So clearly she wants out. Take knife and score the outside of the glass around the lid/neck so that it will break cleaner. Then try to snap the neck and/or lid of the bottle off cleanly along the scoring line.

Drink it.

Fuck it

Tell her how cute she is;
Than ask how I can become a mermaid as well, so I may get in on that cuteness.

Saw it off.

Befriend it. Also
>Implying we killed the evil, and didn't befriend it.
It's like you don't even fantasy Magical Girls.

WILL IT BLEND?

Has it ever not blended?
I mean really, it's not a rhetorical question.

pic related

BALLIN

>So clearly she wants out. Take knife and score the outside of the glass around the lid/neck so that it will break cleaner. Then try to snap the neck and/or lid of the bottle off cleanly along the scoring line.
you pick up the bottle and take out your knife. the mermaid's expression turns from frustration to worried surprise. begin tapping the knife along the edges of the glass lid, making scratches. the mermaid watches you. she holds her hands close to her chest and has a hopefull look on her face.

I go and return them to their boyfriend. Surely, things will work out.

God dammit, Veeky Forums, stop stimulating my urge to get myself a pet. My place is not big enough to comfortably accommodate another person.

Pour it into a much larger tank in my wizard's tower. Ensure the tank is full of brightly-coloured coral, rocks and seaweed before hand. Feed her and clean her tank regularly.

>pet person

I've been having dreams about getting a fish tank for months, this thread makes me sad.

you prepare to snap the lid off the bottle along the socremarks.
ROLL D20 CRAFT CHECK TO NOT FUCK UP

Rolled 3 (1d20)

Whelp, failure is always an option.

>Rolled 3 (1d20)

...

>Rolled 3 (1d20)
you pick up the jar and try to force open the lid. as you do so, the small cracks that you didnt notice while scoring it erupt into 6 different directions. the bottle shatters into several pieces, the water, and the mermaid fall out of the bottom.

OH NO! Grab the mermaid and look for a water source before she suffocates!

ROLL D20 TO CATCH THE MERMAID BEFORE SHE HITS THE GROUND

...

Smash the bottle on the floor because I'm a sadistic fuck who wants to lash out on the world sometimes and don't consider the immediate or eventual consequences

>exploring through dungeons
>not having water

Everyone should have at least a few days worth

Pour water into helmet for temporary bowl. Block eye openings with candle wax if necessary.

Then cover the bottle in thick cloth, throw the bottle into the ocean. She has to live in her home waters, still jailed.

Mother didnt love me enough.

Release her

the mermaid is suffocating, her mouth making large gulping motions as it she gasps for oxygen. you pick up the mermaid as she flops around on the ground in panic. with your other hand you take off your helmet, and place the mermaidinside. you empty your canteen into the helmet which fills it enough for the mermaid to breathe. her panic slowly fades to frozen fear. she now has barely enough water to cover her.

however, she is free of the bottle

Add some additional water, and check the water that spilled on the floor to see if it's briney.

If so, add salt from salt rations. Otherwise, mission accomplished?

Ask if she has any wealthy family members, telling her to nod or shake her head.

Detect Evil.

more water is added to the helmet, filling it to the point where the mermaid is moderately comfortable.
you check the spilled water, strangely it is not salty. very odd, you think to yourself, arent mermaids from the ocean?
the mermaid begins to relax. she tries to speak to you. her language, while beautiful, is nothing like you have ever heard before. she points to the corner of the room where a large conch shell is lying on the table. it looks like it has been decorated on the outside, and has a strangely shaped hinged door.

you ask the mermaid about her relatives, she only looks at you with a confused expression.
you detect no evil

>bottle appears to be shielded against scrying
>Rogue and Barbarian blip, as usual
>there's 2 more blips behind the East wall, though you're not aware about there being another room in that direction

No relatives? Fine, I locate a suitable collector and sell her for a handsome fee. It's his problem now.

Rolled 17 (1d20)

I have nimble fingers

I walk over to the conch shell and pick it up, holding it where the mermaid can see.

whew lad

So what happens to the little mermaid?

It's called "a different bottle".

this looks like a quest thread now

Nope looks like a dead thread

Mermaid ded move along nothing to see here

Conjure a bathtub, cast Enlarge Person, acquire fish cuddles

I'm up for adoption.

I need to know what happens next

>tfw we'll never know

Our hero puts the mermaid in her conch house, secures it to his back, and gets a rear-mounted mermaid buddy for a while.

I put some juvenile C. exigua into the water and observe the mermaid over the next few days.

Jesus christ, I'm not normally a claustrophobic person, but that picture freaks me out.