How would the space pirates fair in the grim darkness of the far future?

if we judge by tabletop standards, skaven have the same stat of a normal human, while being slightly faster and wayy more prone to running away (unless there is a ton of them)

>injecting things with other more dangerous things.
That explains that one user thinking they'd inject themselves with warpstuff.
Wouldn't that mean they'd risk possession, since daemons are just living warpstuff?

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The Space Pirates, like the name entails, are aliens that go around and steal shit, but ranked up to the 10th degree. In lore they straight up will invade a planet, claim they were the original inhabitants of the planet, take the name of the original species as their own, and then turn the original species into slaves. They go around experimenting with every little piece of dangerous stuff they find, not only not caring about what damage they do to others, but what damage they could do to themselves. A galactic police force had to be made just to deal with them.

The funny thing is, however, that the Space Pirates themselves, despite how self centered they are as a species, are almost always being controlled and commanded by a higher powered ayy lmao using them for its own dastardly bastardly plans.

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metroid.wikia.com/wiki/Space_Pirate

>far stronger than the average human
Samus is a posthuman Übermensch.

TUBES thread?

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Space Pirates are several species of autistic savants with no labor safety acts.
They've taken science to a T, but have almost no understanding of magic.
Which is a bummer. Because their goal is to ascend to higher planes of existence.

They follow very strict command hierarchies based on physical prowess and seniority.
The current leader is a Giant Brain they stole from the dying techno-wizard precursor race.

The Giant Brain obsesses with breeding space monsters, because that';s what it was made to do.
Space Pirates also obsess over these space monsters, because they run on magic. And can be studied.

Also they're big into genetic engineering, they're all cyborgs, and they went extinct after getting hopped up on space drugs.

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Excuse me
Did someone say "Tubes"?

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In the TUUUUUUBE darkness of the TUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBE future, there are only three things:

-Phazon and Chaos swirled together in TUUUUUUUUUUBE
-Space pirates
-Samus' fat ass stuck in a TUUUUUUUBE

In addition to what others have said, as I'm sure you've gathered they have an odd obsession with tubes. Not a big deal though, not like their mortal enemy can turn into a ball and use all those wonderful tubes to get around their bases and break their shit repeatedly.

Yes, and the space pirates tear her apart when she doesn't have her suit, which means a normal human would fare even worse against them.

The space drugs came before the giant brain got killed a second time, though.

That's a fair cop.

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Prime is likely an alternate timeline from the mainline series. It doesn't really make sense to progress from Corruption to Super (M2 has nothing to do with pirates) and the way the pirates are characterized seems different between the 2d and 3d games.

The only way I could see the timeline being continuous is if the main pirate species from 1-3 is just a subrace of pirates that were led by ridley (who helped a different sect in Metroid 1/zero mission) who took some metroids (and Rid's corpse) with them before returning to their homeworld after the first destruction of MB/Tourian. A different subspecies of pirates with a different homeworld (perhaps led by Phantoon) then would have had to collect DNA from MB, Kraid, and Rid's (from his first death, not after augmentation/spacedrugs) corpse, clone them, and then retake Zebes without contacting an entire homeworld of their allies who seemingly got entirely WOLOLO'd by Metroid Prime and genocided by the feds or just going to SR-388 and getting new Metroids themselves.

It makes a lot more sense if M1-M2-M3 happen within a short period of time of each other and not over the span of 5 years as the theoretical timeline in assumes.

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SCIENCE! game when?

Not theoretical. The series is very clear about the timing of events.

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Probably yes. Space Pirate logic generally seems to be that if it has the potential to make them stronger, they'll use it regardless of how risky it was. These are the guys who created a project to inject their soldiers with semi-sentient radioactive mutagen to improve their combat capabilities. I seriously doubt they'd blink an eye at letting their troopers get possessed with demons if that made them better at fighting.

That chart specifically states that dates in blue are theorized and those in yellow are approximate.

It's fanwank.

I'm not a 2d purist, either. I just feel that the games are best represented as a split timeline after 1.

>insectoid space kobolds who science instead of shiny shit

Wasn't Phantoon supposed to be basically Mother Brain's Stand?

>Following the commands of this blunt, computerized CO is something I have to bear, as it was a condition of my taking the ship. For someone who dislikes taking orders, this is the second time I've found myself having to do so. It makes me recall my other CO...
>second time I've found myself having to do so
Reminder that Fusion says Prime ain't canon.

Reminder Shitamoto is a greasy bum in addition to being a hack

Is it time for timeline debates?

You're correct. I had meant to say Draygon, as it would be the only physical member of the G4 alive during the reconstruction of Zebes as K&R were dead and MB was out of commission and couldn't summon her tulpa.

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If I recall correctly, the pirate homeworld in Prime 3 is stated to be just one of their homeworlds (planets they control), rather than the original home of them. Strangely enough the planet is given a name (Utraghus) in the Japanese version but not in the EU/USA versions (despite those still having an enemy named "Utraghian shriekbat" found on said planet).
The Pirates mey very well be composed of multiple species, though. That would fit with the mention of them having multiple homeworlds and their appearance radically changing in every single game (the Pirates in all the rpime games look very diffent from each other, and even the 2D ones, while having the same basic design in all games differ a lot when it comes to details). Plus Kihunters are in SM manual also referred as space pirates, but from a different galaxy (which might be a translation error, since in the original Japanese it could also be read as them being from a different solar system or contellation).

Reminder that the female primarch is also the sexiest

Basically space niggers

You spelled americans wrong. (The devs actually made that comparison when asked why the space pirates call themselves zebesians.)

>sexiest
I think one primarch would disagree with you.

Muh fuckin DICK

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>warpstuff instead of phazon
You mean warpstuff MIXED with phazon

Warphazon.

>Perhaps the most dangerous subatance in both our dimension AND the Warp
>Space Pirates inject it into their eyeballs for lols
It's like Tzeentch and Slaanesh had children.

And then they inject that stuff into a Metroid

As of BotW its likely that they all had the chance to occur somewhere before or during the 10,000 year gap between the creation of the Guardians and Divine Beasts and their re-discovery.

Would they have enough psychic potential to create a new God of batshit science? It'd probably end up worshipped by the Dark Mechanicus too.

But user, white haired pretty boys are turbosluts.

I don't think they have the sheer numbers for that to happen, although their entire goal is ascending to another dimension so it's possible they would eventually enter the warp as a group and coalesce into a new entity.

Nah. All the shit they do pretty completely falls under Tzeentch's purview. I mean, Phazon is basically Tzeentch's distilled essence.

>Injecting phazon into a tyranid
oh no

>crossbreeding a warphazonid with a warphazonmetroid
>putting that in a tube

>Liquefying the crossbreed and heating the remains into the shape of the greatest tube of all time
>Thus a new Chaos God was born.

I doubt anything could defeat this monstrosity.
So let's strap some necron guns to it.

>Warphazon Monolotih powered by a Mutant Tyranoid Tube
We can still go bigger.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who makes this association between Space Pirates and based Regor

>somehow add Ridley into the mix
This is the biggest we can go

What do you think the best system to run a Metroid game would be? Basically a sci-fi dungeon crawl with neat powerups, that sort of thing.

Tubes & Metroids

It wouldn't work except as a one- or maybe two-player game. A big deal with the Metroid games, aesthetically, is the isolation factor. Samus doesn't really have that many pals who go around exploring planets with her, she's almost always alone. Trying to adapt an isolated video game experience (first person shooter or 2d platformer, take your pick) into a cooperative tabletop board game sounds like an exercise in futility if there ever was one.

>Meta Ridley injected with the Mutant Tyranoid substance with Gauss Flayers mounted on his arms and shoulders

Let us pretend like I disagree with you on the importance of isolation, and am more leaning on the dungeon crawl aspects.

Maybe you can run a Federation mission. Like the ill fated GF mission in MP2.

Death Watch, but players are all Space Pirates trying to either find suitable hazardous substances and dangerous creatures to combine, or setting up a base.
Also, nice tubes - I mean dubs.

Sounds like a good premise to me

only seven? you plebian scum and your inferior monetary means. I'll take garrison

Pretty well, seeing as Lords of Change are literally feathered Ridley's.

That isn't a dinosaur to feathered dinosaur joke, the PS2 videogame Tau: Fire Warrior literally has you fight a Lord of Change that FIGHT's IDENTICALLY to the Metroid Prime 3D Ridley fight, it's grade A fucking uncanny, and both lords of change and ridley have the exact identical type of posture.

Infact, I would not be surprised if in fan-lore that has Samus as one of the missing Primarchs that the Chozo were like, bits of Tzeentch or something.

>the Chozo were like, bits of Tzeentch or something

Holy shit.
>Chozo weren't just technologically advanced, they had some innate sorcery going on
>they were capable of changing literally everything around them, from landscapes to DNA
>they could see the leylines of destiny, and were famous for playing the long game
>they all ascended to a higher plane of some kind, yet still act to influence the mortal realm from beyond

Holy SHIT.

The question is then, should I pain my chaos army as power suits and chozo lords of change, or shouldn't I?

Reminder that phazon never met pic related

That would either end in the death of every living being, or a life-form that was TOO mutable, and was constantly stuck shifting between horrifying and nightmarish forms as it tried to deal with the rampantly mutating stolen DNA holding it together.

Sounds like Tzeentch to me!

>Too mutable
Tzeentch-possessed Ymgarl Genestealers?

And then, they inject the Warphazon Metroid into themselves!

>deathwatch
>not paranoia

The devs were also westaboos, so...

Do a bit of refluffing on All Flesh Must Be Eaten. The mechanics match the desired tone.

Actually meant to say Only War... Got my 40k RPGs confused.
Either way, it's high lethality, high chance of screwing something up, and you could have The Hunter just show up and wreck their plans on a really bad roll.

>not life & death abundant
>not Nurgle

GURPS with supplements, GURPS is best

Gurps injury table is shit though

SamAss is best ass.

Look, I'm saying this as someone with a massive latex fetish and even I think that the zero suit was a mistake. Seeing Samus outside the armor should have remained a end-of-game reward, not something that happens all the fucking time at the drop of a hat.
Mind you, still gonna fap to the skintight latex bodysuit with built-in platform wedge heels, obviously.

It looks like retarded, armor-bound charizard.

>built-in platform wedge heels

That's honestly what bothers me the most about the Other M redesign, because the original concept even notes not to give her high heels, but to keep everything at a nice, functional level.

Might as well go all the way when producing fap bait, I guess. That being said, the platform heels were hardly Other M's most glaring issue...

Honestly, any Japanese Metroid after Super can be safely ignored at any rate.

>Space Pirates are several species of autistic savants with no labor safety acts.
And the humans aren't much better by the chronological end of the series.