Hello user, I'm Dr. Fabius Bile, what seems to be ailimg you today?

>Hello user, I'm Dr. Fabius Bile, what seems to be ailimg you today?

Wat do Veeky Forums?

Ailing. Fuck

My back hurts and I've got an unidentifiable metabolic disease.

Hey, the drugs he's on mispronouncing the odd word here and there is pretty much a given.

Do a 360 degrees and moonwalk away.

I got a cyst on the back of my neck.

I can't feel my everything.

got some titans that need to be taken care of

I need a new dick.

Those elves weren't kidding.

Nothing much since upgrading to Primaris

My everything hurts.

Im too timid.

Cure my psychological problems.

Did I miss something?

Holy shit!, what a coincidence, my name is Fabulous Vile

I have this Titan problem...

could this be a possible secretary/nurse for Doc Bile?

?
Did I miss a meme?

Okay, we need to talk about this shit you're doing Bob, it's getting out of hand.

Anime.

DOCTOR DOCTOR GIVE ME THE NEWS!

Why do you have such a tiny head, doc?

Yes. It's ripping on a complaint-post turned meme in which a dude bitched about vehicles getting wounds and morale in 8e.

To paraphrase,

>fabulous bill charges a squadron of warlord titans
>he hits on in the toe, Instant Deathing away all its 70 wounds.
>the other two fail their morale tests and flee
>8TH ED BEST LOLOLO
Obviously none of that is a thing, but it got meme'd a bit.

I'm mixed-race, have asperger's syndrome, have had a internal hernia, with noticeable scar tissue that permanently rearranged by guts in a way that hampers my ability to move my cock at will because the testicle cords are unaligned with my guts, am balding from over-excessive masturbation which I bloomed into early from age 9 due to early pornographic exposure to Sonic the hedgehog porn, I have had a horrible state of hair condition even since my childhood, unable to maintain my hair due to excessive dandruff buildup that has worked me through hundreds of credits of hair care products, I am now stuck on some area of using coconut oils religiously that seem to at least prevent this from occuring for the longest period of time, but it is still ever an issue.

And to finally add, I may have anal fissure or a budding hernia that I need you to check out.

In short doc, things aren't looking pretty good.

nice blog

Finished the book yesterday and it was really great. Never expected something more than 'i craft the monsters' villain from him. But based fabius has a vision and shits on everyone else, even fulgrim. Funny how he seems to be one of the few sane people out there.

So yeah, my back hurts, pls craft something disgusting on it.

...

I take the opportunity to activate my meltabomb and hopefully my death impedes or injures him in some way.

I die happily in the service of the emperor.

Give me prehensile hemorrhoids and a second mouth on my stomach that screams obscenities and spits acid. I'd also like to secrete venom. Maybe do something about my balding too?

>Fabius
>sane

Lol wut

Found your exit portal, champ

Clinical depression, alcohol/drug addiction and constant suicidal thoughts.

Help me Dr.Fabius.

old wounds have mounted up dread lord i fear i will not take the field again....i do not wish my service to end though

Have you found a cure for manletism?

Clearly you need cheerful drugs. Alcohol is a depressant. You need something that puts a big smile on your face, like MDMA. I won't tell you to stop boozing up, so we'll make the smile drug dose double, just to counterweight the sad effect of the alcohol.
And I see you low on energy, so I'll give you meth mixed with coke for that too.
You'll be healthy like a tree soon, trust me.

Manlet boots.

Doctor, doctor, gimmie the news I got a bad case..of loving you.

How's the solo Crusade going?

FOUL HETETIC, DO YOU DARE GIVE THESE MISBIGUIDED BEINGS STIMULANTS AND FOUL MAGICKS FROM YOUR FOUL GODS?

FOR THE EMPRA DIE!!!!!!!!

>bolter noises

I have epilepsy, asma, a bad left shoulder, and damages from medications as well as a lack of clones.

Yes.

I have of lately this pain in the back , good Fabius.

Not him.

I can confirm that he is pretty reasonable and wise. Sorta like a straight man in an insane universe.

I want to become a woman, Fabius

>woman

Yes that is what I said. Explain your
>

It's a meme you dip

Ok.

>Me: Hey, doc. I'm not having much luck with the ladies. Can you enhance my junk so that they flock to me?

>Fabius: I will give you a throbbing 18" phallus that will sing odes to the faceless hordes when erect. All will fall under the spell of Slaanesh when in your turgid presence.

>Me: I was kind of just hoping for...

>Fabius: Get on the table. I'm turning you into a sexual porcupine

>

"Could you cure the severe bronchitis in my lungs doctor? I can barely breathe as it is, let alone run and fight!"

Another mixed-race aspie here, good luck with that.

Hello Dr Fabius Bile, I'm CIA

>Where'd you get your license to practice?

>Astigma
>Also nearsighted(-8 glasses)
I can live with being a horror, if i get good eyesight. Now i won't mention those wisdom tooths.

kek

How is he sane?

Even by 40k standard, going problem -> solution, is very sane.
That, or he can't really chose his gifts, and only grant them to those who ask.

>Why dear doctor, I seems I'm not yet a superhuman killing machine. Do you perchance have some cure for my condition?

>a throbbing 18" phallus that will sing odes to the faceless hordes when erect

Instant death isn't an offensive ability any more.

Thanks Dr. Anonymous, that bit of laughter was just what I needed.

"There's a burning sensation when I piss"

>porcupine where the quills are a bunch of dicks
>when grabbed by predators, they launch multiple, simultaneous, and devastating ejaculation, much like a toad leaking urine to lubricate for escaping.
>unfortunately for the species, the blood draw required for its web of cocks causes the leg muscles to become overloaded, and effectively become flacid and useless.

My flesh is gone I do not require your services.

>"I'm not sick or anything. I'm just curious on how you manage to pull of great feats of genetics daily, and yet you lost in making better space marines to an insane toaster fucker."

CAN I PLAY THE PIANO ANYMORE?

>you have stage 3 testicular cancer

>Me: Doctor Fabius, I have clinical depression and it makes me want to die more than those weirdos in the deth korps of Krieg

>Fabius the fabulous: Depression eh? I have just the thing! *and the doctor reaches into his human leather coat and takes out… a buissiness card to a local daemon therapist*

>Me: Golly gee! Thanks Mr. Fabius!
What? Did you think it would be drugs? No, drugs are bad.

Ha, lolno, he hooked me up with some good shit.

Fran loves life though, she goes to great extremes to preserve it.

>Abominable Intelligence
>Man of Iron

It's PURGING TIME.

Are you new or something? The AdMech uses "robots" like the Kastelan.

To be fair though, the Kastelan is about as smart as a graphing calculator.

My leg hurst, could you maby prescribe some grade A narcotics?

>Make me perfect doctor
what happens?

Dammit Jim I'm a doctor not a miracle worker!

>My flesh Is gone
SAY NO MORE

...

He refers to priest who went 100% cyber.