You find this creature fiercely imposed in your path, what do?

I lace up the enchanted boots of kicking.

Is it poisonous?

Walk away. It should be too fat to keep up with me.

Oddly enough I have a pretty good battlecry. Devoid of shield or weapon I try that and see if it flees.

Fat dogs are so pathetic. I want to pet them all.

I kick it

Rolled 65 (1d100)

Rolled 29 (1d100)

POOOOOOOSE OOOOOOVERDRIIIIVE!!

Rolled 15 (1d100)

You can't hide your shame, user.

Roll a reflex save to keep upright now that you're missing a foot.

Rolled 21 (1d100)

I roll to befren it.

I understood that reference

youtube.com/watch?v=sXJZR8-itwQ

Rolled 67 (1d100)

I roll to seduce the beast

>tfw no Godhand 2 or spiritual succesor
feelsbadman.jpg

youtube.com/watch?v=XY90Jl-W6Bg

That looks like a pug chihuahua mix.

I attempt to subdue it with petting and cuddling.

That will only aggravate it. It's descendants were a giant Rat that raped a Dog on an altar of Khorne. Generations of hate have been bred into it, and the culmination is a wretched mongrel that exists solely to personify the definition of "Impotent Rage."

There are no cuddles for these creatures, only hate.

yeah but what if i rub its belly

Hate consumes it. It sees affection as an opportunity to exploit weakness. Expect piss and bite marks on your hands.

what if i give it really rough and spiteful belly rubs and call it a mexican rat at the same time

>Pepe
That's Apu Apustaja

Take him for a wok

Throw a "rock, +50, dispel, forced crit against annoying dogs" at it. If I'll feel merciful go away, if not, sell it to chinese for that fried, tormented dog thing they have going there.
And then worry because I didn't know I turned Lawful Evil.

Rolled 54 (1d100)

You're like little babies.
Watch [this].

...

Throw toffees at it.