The paladin has called a babysitter so she can go praying with the girls...

It's a test for the children to see if their ready to smite evil.

That's hot

the only evil thing i see in this pic is the shitstain pulling hair and thinking that's something civilized societies allow. If the drow feeds that one to the spiders, i'll be sad, but hair pulling is a nogo, unless you're hatefucking someone, or in a life or death struggle.

Life insurance. You make regular payments, and they retrieve and resurrect you if you don't report back in a predefined window.
What kind of madman would enter a dungeon without taking out insurance?

I imagine the baby equivalent of Thunderdome is going to have been set up in the living room by the time she gets back.

>The Babysitter's Guild

>The only teens in the kingdom with the skills and knowhow to tackle taking care of the most terrible tots.

>braiding little girls hair
>before bed

100000000% confirmed for having never interacted with a little girl at bed time.

The drow does not detect as evil. Your next course of action?

As a parent, I can say this is how it's likely to go down.

Negotiate payment obviously

Wacky hijinks and madcap adventure, culminating in everybody learning a valuable lesson and the babysitter getting put on the "will hire agian" list.

Hard mode: You are the villain and the babysitter has to take care of your hellspawn

That's not hard mode.
That's EXACTLY when you would expect a drow.

>No hair pulling
You're missing out on one of the nicer parts of sex, user.

DESU if your a paladin and you call a babysitter, you CALL a baby sitter; archons don't take no shit from your kid.

But if you called on a drow then I'm guessing it's cause we're in current timeline faerun and you've done your background checks to confirm she's one of the 40% of the drow that are now chaotic good worshippers of Eilistraee since the civil war. Shits not that hard to check just do a detect evil and crush a spider in front of them, if they don't ping or go into a kill frenzy probably one of the good ones.

Same thing that happened the last eight threads.

>if they don't ping or go into a kill frenzy probably one of the good ones.
But f they look from you to the crushed spider several times with hearts in their eye's and then leap on you with wild abandon...then what?

I'm bald :(

All isn't lost, unless you're partner's bald as well.
There's two ways to enjoy this!

Go for the pubes.

youtube.com/watch?v=mqNgAlMLjhk

>I'm a drow babysitter, got spiders in my "flower"
>Woo! I'm making 6 gold an hour!

The door opens and then OP kills himself right away!

Detect evil. Nothing worrying pops up? Will probably be pretty okay with it, albeit with a much more probing line of inquiry about morals and shit than would be received by other babysitters.

All in all, not a dealbreaker by default though.

Then you fire them, because that's no way to behave while the children are awake.

However, the babysitter is a paladin.

Or, in full...

>Babysitting sucks, but whatever they've got dwarf gin, warg skins, cute twins, some swords, and the big win:
>A paladin, Sir Richard, he's retired but still a knight.
>If I'm bad, I'll bend over for him to smite.
>Right kids, whatcha wanna do? You wanna raid a tomb?
>We could do White Plume, hey it's not certain doom!
>I assume your parents will be out late, on their crusade
>I'm a sit on the couch and masturbate, then call that hero Drizz't and hope that he's straight.
>Now, I'm no angel, or even a bit faithful, but yo' dad's holy symbol's more fun than painful.
>Damn it fits snug, and I don't feel shameful
>Let's try on your mom's mail, think she'd miss this holy grail?
>Let's play cards -- ooh, the Euryale! Now your saves will fail!

>We want our mommy and daddy!

>I want your daddy as well, but if you tell I'll cast anti-life shell, and curse your soul to go down to hell.
>Fuck, Baator, they keep changing the name, either way don't betray me - I'm a high level mage
>I'm super strong and so brainy
>Now go get changed and I'll put you to bed, it's midnight
>It's far too late for you, but my vision's low-light.
>And just to warn you, you granny's come back from the grave as a wight.
>I'm a drow babysitter, got spiders in my "flower"
>Woo! I'm making 6 gold an hour
>Let's make holy water, but we'll make it out of wine
>I dunno if it'll work, but I bet it'll taste divine
>Now just wait, I'm checking the good book
>Sorry, there's no spell to stop bedwetting
>Don't scream or cry, it's not like I'M gonna die
>Stop freaking out, I don't care; I'll give Lolth a prayer
>I said I ain't faithful, not dumb, and Drizz't just said he don't take it up the bum
>So he'll come over, and maybe we can make a drider
>Next time you see this drow, she'll have scored, since he'll put his sword deep in side 'er
(...)

>Don't worry, he ain't into children
>Villain? I prefer to think of myself as an elvish pilgrim
>Time for you to take five, while I make room inside
>Kids go to bed, because Drizz't's about to arrive
>Be quiet and make sure you've prayed
>And I'll tell you how good it is to be laid while you're gettin' paid

And then ditch your wife to go out with the drow instead?

OP's pic is fairly accurate. To be honest, I feel sorry for the drow!

"I'd be careful if I were you... They've seen Home Alone like 10 times in the last week."

Why so bald are you

Lewd.

Why, thank you.

Obviously.

Well, I dunno. Maybe the wife likes drow as well.