Dum dum thread, share your stories of mentally deficient DMs/Players

*DM keeps getting pissed off...

>say double barrel
>explicitly post an automatic single barrel shotgun
Either way, he's a fucking dumb ass. I's give him benefit of the doubt if it was a double barrel, then he'd at least have the excuse of being able to saw it off without fucking up the gun.

stupid dumb frogposter scum

>DMing a sci-fi SCP themed RPG
>6 players party were leaving from a "secret lab" guarded by 3 soldiers on cover-up as bums
>the soldiers had no reason to attack the players since they knew that the players have access cards given by one of their superiors
>they even mentioned it before
>even so a fucking retarded player (The edgy sniper) wants to kill them because "Gotta be sure that nobody saw us, right XD. Lol im so chaotic neutral."
>the whole party and even I warned that it was a bad idea and there was no fucking reason to do it
>he shot first anyway
>turns out that the soldiers were part of a "super-soldier experiment"
>the fight starts
>2 players almost die because of that fight
>3 players simply stepped off the fight because that's not of their business (I'd do the same to be honest)
>that guy still thinks that he did nothing wrong

I have so many stories about that fucking edgy sniper. Today he's a fucking octopus because he got into a fist fight against a mage.

I'm glad my players aren't like this at all. Besides the previously mentioned "fighting a guy in a vacuum" thing, I've never had issues with them doing dumb shit. At least, so far.

They fought about that, too.
> GM: You can have a H&K pistol or a Browning
> SB: I want a shotgun
> GM: you won't be able to conceal a shotgun
> SB: so?
> GM: (cringe, nervous laugh) I don't even see it in my weapons sheet... oh there's one in the Q Branch book. (shows him Benelli)
> SB: see? I want a double barreled one.
> GM: why?
> SB: because I can hit twice as hard with two shells at once
GM just said ok but used stats for the Benelli

Post more

I'm seriously wondering what that guy's mind set was, just straight up muh powah? If he really wanted something a bit stronger than a pistol he could've just went with any number of carbines or at the very least an SMG or machine pistol. It'd be just as concealable as that VP-70 (I'm going to assume it is because you slapped a stock on it) that you had.

>making characters for 2e
>i'm making a cleric
>one player says he wants to make a barbarian so he can rage
>DM says no
>player nags him for 15 minutes
>DM finally says, ok but you have to use the rules from Dragon Magazine Issue #?
>DM: the rules where the barbarian involuntarily rages if he encounters magic
>player: that's fine
>me: will priest spells cause him to rage?
>DM: ... yes.
>some more quarrelling
>me: i'll make something else then
>player: naw just go with it
>first battle
>berzerked and damaged the other PC bc he got too close
>couldn't heal him til he blacked out
>couldn't get free in time
>both of them died
>DM cancelled the game and refused to put any of us into another

To be honest, my party was composed of 3 murder hobos and 3 actually good players (those who stepped off the fight), so maybe I had that coming.

First, the party:

- An american "le edgy sniper" with a lightsaber for some reason, let's call him "Sasuke" because his backstory could be pretty much crammed down as: Some one killed my wife and now I'll be an asshole to everyone and suspect of anyone until I find who did it. His motivation for almost anything was either REVEEEENGE or "because nothing matters anyway". THAT GUY scale from 1 to 10? Fucking 12.
- A fucking "ninja" russian weaboo. A ridiculous character with the best stats of the party. And guess what, the player itself was almost braindead the entire campaign because she was easily overwhelmed by the informations and situations during the game. I don't blame her thought, it was a complex campaign for a RPG beginner.
- A german murder hobo with his soul trapped in a sex doll. Nuff' said. He was the best player thought and actually cared about the story and playing the game properly.
- A drunk russian mafia boss. Average player, he played most of the seasons drunk as fuck IRL, so...yeah. He literally was drinking whenever his character was drinking in the game, and sometimes when it was not. His character was pretty amusing thought because he abused Charisma and Speech skills like an actual mafia boss.
- A brazilian medic. Good player too, his role was pretty much being a healslut and sometimes the voice of reason of the party.
- A brazilian mercenary with a Compulsive Lying problem in game. Good player, but easily the most egoist and came to the campaign only during the last seasons.

And the RPG was about their wacky adventures in Canada as they racklessly mess with dangerous SCPs, fight against nuns from the Church of the Broken God, piss off the Are we cool yet?, invade abandoned Foundation facilities and try to find a way to stop the incoming Doom that is 610.

Yep, he was trying for the most power he could get, after the GM tried to explain several times that James Bond RPG isn't that kind of game.

Auto weapons were overpowered and disallowed for this mission, but he never even asked for those. He just had this idea of a shotgun toting badass who hunts spies with a shotgun the way rednecks hunt ducks.)

Why would a GM ban barbarians of all things.

>It's not easy bein' green.

Barbarian wasn't a core class in 2e.

I'm fascinated, tell me more. How old is this campaign anyways? I thought the SCP foundation stopped being relevant like 3 years ago when everything started becoming trash.

It is very recent, like from January to May from this year. We played almost every weekend, normally drinking some beers during and/or afterwards (or even vodka, like the drunk russian player)

Most of the players weren't as fond on the SCP universe as me, so I could use it as a heavy source of inspiration, but also mess it up as I wanted. At the end, the adventure became about a world where the Foundation was destroyed because of intern problems like intern spying from GOC and AWCY!, data base hacking, inumerous breaches and consecutive attacks from the Church of the Broken God.

The AWCY! got a little too political and now controls most of the western world governments, while the eastern are governed by GOC. Almost every Group of Interest is now trying to deal with the breached SCPs in some way and they forgot that some really dangerous ones were under control of the Foundation like the 610.

And our players? Poor bystanders that became aware of all of this a little too late.

Oh, and I've forgot to mention, magic exists. The foundation and most of the GOIs were populated by mages. But magic is a little too scientific in this world, let's say.

That sounds pretty rad actually, any more interesting stories you have to tell?

Sure. Let me tell you how to edgy sniper actually got into a fist fight against a mage.

>the party went to a secret base in Mexico where they were dealing with the supposed 001, which where 6 childs that had the power of a God, but also had no own will.
>they made a deal with a remnant O-5 to get the kids, use them to destroy the AWCY, then tell the kids to self destroy so nobody could use them.
>secretly the party was actually going to get the kids, destroy the AWCY and tell them to give their powers to the party itself. (That could probably kill them somehow, but they didn't care.)
>the drunk russian, using his hilariously broken Charisma skills and his luck to pretend that he and the party were high rank members of the USA military, called the Canada military force and got a way to get their own personal plane to go to Mexico in a supposed "mission against the drug cartel"
>the madman actually got the fucking dice rolls and acted suave as fuck during the conversations
>fucking love that guy
>on the plane, they got access to lots of ammo, weapons, money and some sex robots because why the fuck not
>giant drunk orgy from Mexico to Canada
>they got out of the plane on a hangover and searched for informations about the church where the 001 was
>also, they needed to find an ex-mercenary from the Foundation that would help them (The brazilian liar.)
>after some time, a weird ass meet up with 5 cyber-catgirls space pirates and 1 mage (SCP-2085), that retarded fight against the 3 undercover soldiers that I told before and a Sombrero, they got everything they wanted and went to the church-base
>no, the edgy sniper didn't punch any of the SCP-2085
>the church was actually heavily guarded by robots and a fucking self-driving tank.
>after lots of planing and a almost successful execution of that plan, they got into the church
>the german sex doll had to wait outside of the church because he was out of batteries

pt 1

>All this shit
and I thought my players were wacky with a catgirl operator, a bunny girl medic, the incompetent foxgirl gunsmith/mage and the berserker werewolf.

pt 2

>inside of the church, they fought a huge security robot, which was actually an easy fight
>the "security protocol" updated and they had to fight 2 more tanks
>thanks to bad dice rolls and some questionable decisions, the weaboo russian ninja died
>rest party got pretty angry because of that and blamed the O-5 for not having warned them about the heavy security
>I've forgot to mention, the O-5 was with them the entire time, but as an "spirit"
>the O-5 said that something was wrong, the robots weren't programmed to attack on sight
>"well, fuck that, we won anyway" - le edgy sniper
>they found the elevator that would lead them to the secret base below where the 001 was
>they got there and found no security at all
>something was wrong
>as they entered the 001 room, they found the truth
>the 001 was stolen
>they heard the elevator going down again
>as it opened the doors they saw the leader of AWCY?, "the Critic" and he was there to make a review of their piece of art (pic kinda related)
>he explained the situation that he was already aware of the 001 and was already aware that someday the Foundation or whatever was left of it would say "fuck the morals" and use it as a nuke against anything
>as the party already knew, the Canada, USA and Mexico government were in control of the AWCY? so it was easy to track down whoever was going to the city where that church was
>in fact they were tracking them since earlier events on Canada
>they simply got there first, reprogrammed the robots and told the kids to blow themselves up on a small island close to Italy where most of the O-5s were
>the party lost contact with that O-5 slightly after
>then the Critic wanted to make a deal: get out of our asses and we will call a Sculptor (pretty much a Necromance) to revive your friend, if you don't accept this you guys are the next of our list
>most of the party already saw that it was impossible to win this, but the le edgy sniper actually got interested on the Critic

That's pretty easy to conceal though. Take the barrel off (it comes off and on very easily) and get either a Duffle bag or a large briefcase.

Well, given that the DM explicitly banned automatic weapons and they were trying to get into a pretty heavily guarded place in the first place, I think the duffel or briefcase idea would've gotten shot down.

pt 3, I promise

>the le edgy sniper and the Critic ended up chatting a lot about art, morals and the state of the Foundation as good or bad in this situation
>the rest of the party got confused and thought that the sniper was betraying them
>the sniper and the Critic got into an agreement and went to the elevator, the rest of the party followed up
>the Critic called the Sculptor and told her to do as told
>while they were getting back to the surface, the Sculptor (pic related) found the church and did her job
>the sex doll got his batteries recharged rightly after
>the party met the Sculptor, thanked her
>but for some reason the le edy sniper wanted to flirt with her
>not successful
>in fact she got pissed off
>the Critic said that they shouldn't fight now because of the agreement between him and the sniper
>them he offered a ride to the airport and a flight to Canada with his personal airplane since he got business there too
>on the plane, the sniper kept trying to flirt with the Sculptor
>she was getting mad as fuck
>she got a plan and said that they should fight only with bare hand, no magic involved or weapons
>if he win, she'd go on a date, if she wins, he'd back the fuck off
>he agreed
>as soon as the airplane lanned in Canada they started the fight outside of it
>the problem is, her magic was on her blood, it was easy for her to use it "quietly"
>as they got hurt, she started to bleed
>she "imprinted" Transformation magic on her blood, pretended to clean a wound and punched with the same fist as her wound
>le edgy sniper got transformed into an octopus
>during the cast, she got critical on the dice roll and that affected the duration of the spell
>also, le edgy sniper got a trait called "Jinxed" where anything bad that would happen to him (like a bad roll or an enemy getting a critical) would be irreversible (it's a curse actually and why he got that is another long story)
>she didn't knew that as she casted
>now he's a talking octopus

Never punch a mage.

That's what you get when you DM with your drinking buddies.

The story was a fucking mess, my narration was pretty flawed, but we got loads of fun anyway.

We're still trying to find a way to get together again and start a new adventure.

Well in my case, it ended up being wacky because I roped my best friend into a game with a bunch of nerds I play vidya with. The gunsmith is kind of a favorite of mine, with such wonderful lines as "RPK, isn't that a wrestling move?"

I would totally hide a sawn off shotty inside tight trousers. It gives you +2 charisma and only faggots will check your package.

>a few years back, member of our frequent gaming group decides to GM a Dungeons the Dragoning oneshot
>get extremely hype because I've had the books since the April Fool's release but haven't had the opportunity to play it
>talk with the other players about all the cool shit you can play with it, another player who's been in a D:tD campaign before helps hype it up too
>week before our first session is do, one of the players who was interested drops out
>one-shot gets run and the remaining group has barrels of fun regardless

Fast-forward to present day
>start talking about Dungeons the Dragoning again with the same frequent gaming group
>drop-out player from before asks if he can make a melee Ork in it
>Me: "Um...yeah?"
>Player: "I didn't know if the game was all about guns or not. It didn't seem easy to get into, so I didn't try."

So despite being in a group full of people hyping up the game as really good and fun, he didn't even bother browsing the book, because it SEEMED hard. He didn't even ask anyone for help or confirm if it was actually difficult to pick up, he just assumed it wasn't worth the investment without reading the rules properly.

I have a lot of similar stories about the same player doing dum-dum antics in our other games, for anyone interested in hearing more.

Go on, I'd like to hear more. Unfortunately the shitty OP picture seems to be driving a lot of people away from what could be an interesting thread.

This. We had to wear shitty blazers to look like a computer outfit. We could possibly hide pistols, that's it.

Should've brought knives along, come to think of it. Silent.

Well, you could hide a carbine underneath one a jacket, especially if it's bulky enough. But like you said, those were banned for reasons unknown.

Happened in my second (and currently ongoing) ever campaign, First session, second ever session of DND for me.

>party gets a lead on disappearing children
>some witch is kidnapping them
>start heading to witches lair
>mistake no. 1 we left at night
>walking on the moonlit path we hear a twig snap
>mistake no. 2 paladin lights a torch
> arrows start pelting us from the brush on both sides of the path
>paladin is only one without darkvision
>she throws the torch into the brush, again tossing her into blindness
>Bandits appear, too high many for us to handle and we take 2 unlucky crits
>party goes unconcious
>wake up tied to a stake in their camp
>hear the captors in a nearby tent talking about selling us as slaves
>Paladin and bard get free, me the rogue cannot
>final attempt on the ropes alerts the captors
>they come to check on us
>we all still have low HP, no gear.
>paladin "I find a hollow log and take a long rest"
>the bard, dm, and myself all look at her dumbfounded.

Originally we were given a choice of 2 MI6-issued pistols- H&K or what I remembered as being a Browning Hi-Power 1935 (but was probably a Walther PPK.) The GM was using this list from the basic rules.

As you can see there is no shotgun. Shotgun Boy wanted a shotgun. Never looked at the rifles, never considered the UZI, he just had this idea in his head that he would get a double barrelled shotgun. GM found the Benelli in the special Q Branch splatbook to placate him, it didn't.

As you can see, the game rules hold that longarms can't be concealed and then drawn. And if you look at the pic for the Benelli, it can't be concealed and then drawn. I think it was a bs rule to limit our firepower so as to make the game more cerebral. Shotgun Boy tends to loudly contest bs.

>that paltry list
>AKM jams on a 97-99
Jesus christ. No wonder he wanted to get something that wasn't a peashooter. He just did it in the faggiest way.

We didn't face any body armor and the first guy went down from a single 9mm bullet at perhaps 15 ft. Shotgun Boy never even got the barrel up in time to shoot.

I mean, i've never played so I can't really judge the lethality of the system. But looking at it gives me bad vibes, because you have the options of
>.25 ACP
>.380 ACP (or .32 ACP, depends on what variant bond used)
>9mm
>.44
>.22 LR
>.303
>7.62x39
Doesn't exactly lend itself to a list with a lot of power, though that's probably expected for a spy game.

...

Patrician concealed weapon coming thru

Stand up fights were not the norm in our game. It was doublecrosses and ambushes with overwhelming force, which you were supposed to run from, usually in wing tips.

...

Well, there's that guy that frogposts on Veeky Forums.
He's always a huge shit.

Everyone triggered since Frogs and Freedom 2016

Is this a meme or are you really getting upsed because OP used pepe?

>Playing old system called Dragonquest.
>One of the characters plays a black mage and gets a familiar
>They're not like DnD familiars, they're very weak demons that are bonded to the caster.
>Among other things, the mage gets a special "witch mark" on the body, through which the familiar drinks the caster's blood. The familiar needs to feed about once a day to keep going, which hurts the mage.
>DM is not super-familiar with system, I was the one who suggested it.
>Looks over the rules
>Starts chortling.
>Ok, so like, your witchmark? It's gonna be on the tip of your penis!
>Every day, you need to have your black cat suck blood out of your dick?!
>Will not stop giggling retardedly over the juvenile joke.

This is a story of how I fucked up once:
>playing an asian getaway driver
>I'm trying to draw subtly on our way to a terrorist safehouse to shoot some terrorists
>we're stuck in traffic
>I look in the rearview mirror and see some people in a car following us
>must be nothing
>I check on them again and see they've gotten a bit closer
>they've gotten closer working their way up through traffic
>I see one of them has an AK
>they must be following us
>I decide to do a Crazy Ivan without telling anyone
>I swerve to try to get to the off ramp, burning some rubber and alerting the terrorists
>the terrorists give chase
>my team is busy shouting at me for not saying anything and trying to make a plan
>I'm too busy arguing back to notice a red light coming up
>I run the red light and now the cops and the terrorists are after us
>I run another red light but don't notice the prius in my way, ramp off it and go airborne for a few flips before we crash
>my character wasn't wearing a seatbelt and is now dead

The correct term is "shitpost frog"

I wonder this too. Apparently Cestree is ok to shitpost but a picture of some frog isn't because that makes the poster is less elite or something

>asian getaway driver
already in tears, stahp, stahp

How cuh-rayzey should I make NPCs in the average shadowrun game?
Like, if players need an emergency ride and hold a cab driver at gunpoint, is it acceptable for them to be all "Hey hey awwright" and do a sick jump into extremely dangerous stunt driving?

...

>samefag phoneposting this obviously

First up, fuck you for frogposting.

Next up, while I understand your frustration at her teamkilling, both times she made a good call. She was in a cramped target rich environment, AOE sounds perfect for that. Hell, if you advised her to change her character to an evocation wizard she could even shape the spells to not hit party members.

I mean, not YOU, you frogposting garbage fire. But like, the rogue. or important NPCs.

Bumping because it'll irritate someone somewhere

but nature abhors vacuum

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