Ironwood trees

I don't understand the problem or indeed the subject, put what the hell I'm going to reply anyway.

Dickbutts mostly.

I suppose the complain could be on the sheer pointlessness of restricting the use of metal only to create a magic metal substitute with no downsides, but I'm probably giving the OP too much credit

"Look at this faggot-tree."
Wooden "I wonder who's behind this post."
"Just hang in there."

>The Veil
>The Sundering
every time

>morning woods

>Because you deserve it

Teehee Maccaroni is the bane of my fucking existence.

Every fucking campaign that my GM runs inevitably at some point involves running into an NPC named "Teehee Maccaroni," who the GM affectionately describes as "an epic level sorcerer who's also a retarded nudist gnome."

Teehee Maccaroni wander the countryside with a unique Rod of Wonders powered by "retard magic" shoved up his anus, and he casts the Rod of Wonders by diddling his penis. He says nothing but his own name in different inflections and the phrase "I like-a the goodberry, gimme gimme the goodberry." The GM thinks it's hilarious to have this character show up during the middle of encounters we're struggling at and start jerking off magic everywhere.

But the worst part is his chant. He wanders around chanting his name, so when he's about to show up the GM will start low;
Tee-hee-hee, Maccaroni Maccaroni
Tee-hee-hee, Maccaroni Maccaroni
And then get louder and louder until he's fucking shouting
TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI!
TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI!

And the table loves it! The other guys I play with think this is the best shit! Teehee Maccaroni has been our table's de-facto inside joke, our signature "running gag" for six years now. When that chant starts up, everyone else joins in like a ritual; the whole table is expected to start chanting "TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI" by the end, and every fucking time I refuse because this is some embarrassing circa-2002 Penguin of Doom shit, it's always the same thing; "There goes user again! No fun allowed around user! user's just a big grouch who's getting angry because we're making him touch Teehee Maccaroni's penis again! Why won't you just let us have fun with this character, he's just here for dumb fun, you stick-in-the mud!"

These motherfuckers are all over 25 years old.

Teehee Maccaroni is going to be the death of me.

A hive of "Just Bee Urself"

Now I want to add Bear Trees to my campaign, which will sound like Pear Trees but will drop their aggressive 800lb fruit near unsuspecting passerby.

wtf am I reading

Those already exist, mate.

Not a threat in Australia, I hear the venomous spiders kill them almost instantly.

Feral cockmonglers

Hopefully copypasta. I don't want to consider the possibility that someone wrote something that long and stupid to post in this thread.

And I REALLY don't want to consider the possibility that they're not making it up.

pasta

Obviously, it's Maccaroni.

Oh joy, a D&D version of Bueno Excellente.

Or that one plant a bunch of brits wiped their asses with and a bunch of them shot themselves before the others could take their guns away...but yeah, mostly the spiders.

>Koala.jpg

Do you mean those plants developed by the elves to leach metals from the soil and incorporate it into their wood?
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bioleaching
Why do you think they got the best longbows and those huge-ass giant trees?

Besides iron, they extract gold as well.
bldgblog.com/2010/11/gold-is-the-metal/
>It was reported earlier this month that “gold nanoparticles can induce luminescence in leaves.” That’s right: glowing trees. The scientists who discovered it call it bio-LED.

bldgblog.com/2015/11/electronic-plantlife/
>process by which they were able to “manufacture” what they call “analog and digital organic electronic circuits and devices” inside living plants.

bldgblog.com/2012/12/tree-receivers/
>Why build a radio station, in a sense, when you could simply plant a forest and wire up its trees?

So, when elves say the giant golden tree they live in connects them to everything, demands careful nurture and respect, you really should listen. Their rootnet is really good.

I still lose to something immature and stupid like this, it's like i'm stuck on 2002's penguin on d00m mindset

Nice pasta.

...

Where else would you get the sap to smelt into iron tools? It's not like there are deep mines on The Edge.

How about a tree that throws grenades?
And the grenades launch hooked seeds over 150 mph?
And the tree's trunk is covered in spikes?
And the spikes are poisonous?

And then I forget the image.

This is why cyberpunk style settings don't have dryads.

Teehee

how about a exploding tree?

Oh Earthbound, you so silly.

because of the oils in them Eucaliptus trees have been known to explode from time to time, either from extreme heat or from being set on fire

>Straya, where even the trees can kill you

If they fall over trees can kill you anywhere.

You forgot to mention that smaller trees regularly kill sheep because the lower hanging fruit explode almost point blank.
What a shitty way to go, getting brained by a piece of fruit.

>cockmonglers
it's GRINMEN, you fucking newfag.

>Elves are bluecats from Avatar

All the more reason to torch them down.

>GM starts explaining what trees are

>he says, while mongling cocks

>Fantasy elements
>Le 2017 version of shiggy diggy
When will the middler schooler tier shitposting end?

4e druids have no such restrictions

I did that once but because my GF was playing a dwarf who'd never left the underground.

I had to describe plants in a completely literal way, without using any context clues that she as a real human would click to.

Ancient, giant oaks growing dancing babies.

How can you not love dumb shit like this?

>The bad thing
There fixed it.

I do too. How did Celtic lore-keepers/priests become a bunch of weird shapeshifting hippies?

Not him, but forced running gags are the worst fucking thing to deal with.

I had to chop down about 50 hornbeam trees to clear a field last month, horrible task and took forever. Had to re-sharpen an axe over and over to make any progress.

Fuck you DM I'm going to enjoy that wooden armor