Meanwhile on dragon Veeky Forums

Stocks you say...

so.. let's say, purely hypothetically of course, that a dragon, let's say a virgin dragon for funsies, had gotten a penpal with this cute ginger girl who just gets him and they sorta maybe had decided to meet up.. but the dragon never wrote anything about him being a dragon.
What would you guys do?

Take the form of a human or elf for the first meeting.

okay.. and let's say for arguments sake that the dragon in question never learned magic to transform himself.. or any magic for that sake

Please keep in mind that you're probably gonna outlive this girl by a wide margin.

That being said, I know how the pangs of love can calw it's way into your heart when you're a youngling still. Try the discreet approach and play on sympathy: invite her to a somewhat secluded location and hide in shadows or amongst trees. I'm assuming you're very young still since you can't use illusion or shapeshifting, so you shouldn't have any problem hiding your bulk yet.

Then just ham it up. "Wait, don't come closer. There's something I haven't told you, something that might frighten you, but please know that I'm still the same person you've written to..." And so on and so forth. Humans are suckers for the whole starstruck lovers kind of deal, and if she's the sort to be able to look past that then great! You've got a trusty diversion for the next 50 or so years, make sure to care for her.

If not, well, humans are pretty tasty.

Not the draganon who you were talking to, but I suggest learning a couple basic light orb cantrips beforehand. They're not hard, just an hour or two should be enough to keep three or four up simultaneously, and it means you can sort the whole shadow thing out of there's no convenient spot around, or enhance it if there is.

Also, humans mostly have absolutely no magic skills, so it might actually impress her even if it's a rather simple trick.

Call me old fashioned, but I think we all know what to do about that sort of thing...

get this double wyrm out of my dchan

no magic my scaley cloaca

My local bank is ran by a sphinx and guarded by griffins...

Griffins....
How is that safer than protecting my hoard ,myself.

No survivors?

Well /dtg/, you know your lair options. Which one is it? Cave, keep, or mountain top?

Cave master race over here. Got tunnels for days, and the kobolds keep digging out more. Got a whole underground highway network, and it even hits the Obligatory Oddly Spacious Sewer Zone of three different baronies. I'm considering opening up a toll roadway service down here.

Oh trust me, I mulled over doing exactly that. There are some things that made me reconsider that though.

1. The kingdom didn't actually send those assholes my way.
2. The kingdom trades with me very often, and I have bulked out my hoard quite considerably because of it.
3. I had a large part in building the kingdom into what it is, and I actually like the respect that comes with it from them.

I just picked the shortest mortal I suppose. Either way, the transgressors are dead, and I have some shiny new equipment for my hoard, so I guess it isn't all bad.

Clean your scales, style your spines, and offer to pay for your date. You're a fucking dragon. Act like one, and be confident.

>paying
>ever
What the hell is wrong with you?

Oh i used to feel your pain.
I started up a risky business and it worked for me. I fund adventurers and let them chill around my lair. I get top tier adventurers as guards, new ones come in all the time, and they pay me back double, if not triple the gold i invested.
Also, some of the retired females hang around, and they have some age extending items if you know what i mean..

>Never buy anything
>Ever
After certain points, you end up screwing yourself by being stingy. This is one of those points.

You are living the absolutely best life. Any tips for a draganon who might want to get into that style of living as well?

>mfw I realise I have slaughter bossy red dragon for betraying me to cure some fucked-up disease druids put on me out of spite
>mfw I find out a band of dumb fuck-ups kill the idiot black dragon
>mfw I infiltrate the town they use as their base of operation
>I even polymorph as a dude halfling so they can't tell I'm a dragon
>mfw fuck-ups fucking figure out fucking seconds before I willingly reveal my identity
>mfw this idiot FUCKING half-elf FUCKING Mary Sue Special Fucking SNOWFLAKE starts screeching about how much she wants to kill me
>mfw her idiot-ass emo boyfriend calls me names
>mfw idiot-ass emo's boyfriends twin sister's boyfriend with too many fucking names is the only reasonable one, probably because he's a pussy and scared I'll kill his town.
>mfw I really have to just sit there and take their fucking insults because I genuinly don't want to fuck this up, really focused on killing the red dragon who betrayed me.
>mfw I even offer to leave their stupid fucking continent if they help me cure my affliction.
>mfw they only agree if I help them kill the white dragon first
>idiot-asses twins boyfriend flirts with me
>but after we kill the white dragon he fucking tries to stab me for NO FUCKING REASON
>mfw I thought I'd finally found someone who understood me, even a little
>mfw the druid bitch screeches at me some more
>mfw they send me to find the faggot whose guise I took instead of doing anything useful
>like the plan they agreed on that would've actually ousted the red dragon out of his lair
>mfw they've at least gathered a large force and the time to strike is near
>mfw everything goes right, we take down the dragon and the band of fucktards don't even die
>mfw the immense relief that I'll finally get the secret to my salvation from this red dragon
>THE FUCKING FUCKS ATTACKS ME
>mfw I barely escape
>mfw I try to get any revenge for condemning me to cancer
>mfw my final moments are afflicted with Alzheimers

I just wanted a cure! Was it too much to ask?

FUCK HUMANS
>Be me, kissless virginlizard
>be on the crystalchatball
>meet this 9/10 ginger chick
>She is cute
>and fun
>We instantly hit it off
>don't say anything about me being a dragon and whatnot
>fast forward a couple of weeks
>we want to meet each other
>set up a date
>I know no magic so I have no idea how to transform myself into a human form
>Ask Veeky Forums for advice
>decide to say "fuck it, we will go with the hiding in the shadows approach"
>I get there an hour beforehand because I want to make sure there's some good hiding places
>I get in place
>5-10 minutes later the maiden of my dreams come walking by
>get ready to assume full chad-dragon mode
>But wait
>SHE
>BROUGHT
>A
>MOTHERFUCKING
>DRAGONSLAYER

>apparently she knew I was a dragon
>she wanted into the dragonslayer guild by killing me and she had her senpai or whatever look over her

>well fuck that. I will just hide here until you grow tired
>12 hours later I get back
>write this
>fuck human chicks, not with my dick but with like.. a rake or something
>And I am still a kisslesslizard :'(

Learn a fucking Cloning spell and make a copy of your self to guard your hoard.

Well, if you've got the respect of the local kingdom, perhaps ask them if they can do something to curtail this sort of thing? Perhaps refusing to trade with or protect adventurers who raid your lair?

So i figured out the best way to guard my Hoard.

I spent a lot of my youth shapechanged into different humanoids learing different things like magic, martial arts and thievery.

As such i came to discover the best kind of guards i can get.

Fucking monks.

They are excedingly loyal and abide by their oaths.
After i've built a monastery for them and instructed them for a while they became totally devoted to me.

And can you imagine the faces of any thieves or invaders dumb enough to attack or intrude upon the monastery?

I once dropped of a dozen sun monks onto a fort due to a contract i had with a kingdom in regards to helping their defense.
These dozen or so humans were enough to incinerate most of the invading army while being practically immune to magic and ranged weaponry themselves.
Then there's their melee combat capability and speed that allows them to catch and capture most individuals.

If only Kobolds and Dragonborn weren't such lousy martial artists i'd raise them instead of Humans and Wood Elves to guard my shit.

Because no one is thinking about robbing the Griffin Bank.

Think about it. Griffins exist at that perfect point in threats where either people are terrified of them and will stay away, or Griffins and whatever they are guarding is trivial and not worth killing them for.

Get a bag of holding
Shovel your horde in
Go to the Sphinx DISCREETLY
Tell them you want to open the account with everything in your coin purse

Sphinxes aren't dumb. They'll figure it out and handle your business.

A major city.

Let me explain
>Some petty king establishes a good fortification
>A "Dwarven Merchant" arrives one day, makes friends with the petty king, agrees to be a financier in exchange for certain heritable privileges
>With great wealth, and "fate on his side" the king grows to great prosperity
>His capital grows, and grows.
>Then his son takes the throne
>The "Dwarven Merchant" continues to finance the kingdom, while making large returns on investments
>And the capital grows, and grows.
>Repeat the process, a lot.
>Said "Merchant" lives in a manor that will rival the king's palace.
>Effectively protected by a human kingdom
>Servants of multiple kinds, rather than just short, scaly dog-lizard-men.
>A large vault that just happens to be big enough for a massive dragon to sleep in and is filled with tons of treasures.

Why is she so perfect? Pic related, me and my wife.

Just woke up, how long has this existed?
Also I need to check if cities realy can count as part of a hoard? Let me explain. This Half-Gold paladin came by with her farthers disintegrated remains came by to request access to some restricted parts of my library and for some ingredients for a ritual, she was respectful so I said yes, after we were done she said how nice it was that I was content to keep a beautiful city instead of pursuing wealth that serves no purpose and left with her band of bipeds.
Decide to check what she ment, I drained the swamps and made this city as a trade hub, everything else was secondary. Turns out that land mass sun fall became accessible and that's where all the trade comes from now, added to that some dispute or another has taken most of the other trade routes and my hoard's just not growing. I know it's my fault but everything looked fine a century back when that emperor came by to try and invade although they tell me it's been like this since before then.
I have I've been told one of the greatest libraries in the known world (many of the others I knew of are gone so I may have the only remaining original of some works), one of the best music schools in the known world, a renowned school of magic (why they didn't get that up to one of the best in the known world I don't understand), a renowned school for architecture and historical warfare and a few other things they tell me are impresive.
In short Human city, what do?

>Also I need to check if cities realy can count as part of a hoard?
Do it belong to you?
Then fucking yes, it's part of your horde.

A better question is "Are the people inside part of your horde"
The answer is yes, they're also your property, but in the same way a kobold is your property.

Good to know, I feel up for a bout of activity and I need to know if I should do something to gain prestige or if the city is enough since it makes up nearly the whole of my hoard at the moment, I'm the oldest Dragon around by some margin so gaining more is posable but I could use that time to learn what advancements have been made in magic or find a mate instead.
Also was there a mass migration or something I missed? All the other Dragons I knew of are gone?

Daily reminder that if you've not surgically replaced your heart with a Balor, or are eating Dragon Eggs to extend your lifespan you're a fucking disappointment to Tiamat and should let your young cannibalize you.

fleshies get out

>He thinks the kingdom respects him when he's got adventurers raiding his shit
Obviously they don't respect you enough if they allow that to happen. Your fault for trusting the scaleless.

Focus on the here and now. It is time to evaluate your assets. If there is a stable/growning population, then you need to remind the city who is their benefactor. Don't go burning anything down. Land just outside of town, demand the local lords and leaders come to you. Once they arrive, start figuring out what the hell is going on starting with the trade routes and work up from there. Then its time to diplomacy.
Since, for one reason or another, you are presumably the largest, oldest and strongest around, find out who are the major players and bend them to your will or entice them with added protection. That necromancer on the far hill would help make great undead slaves to use as labor. That demon cult down the river would probably be better off working for you, get them to realize who the real power in the lands is.
Then you go find a like-minded, somewhat younger dragon and make some eggs, especially one whose hoard has been suffering due to some adventurers showing up while she was hunting.

Hey, so I'm a Gold that has been asleep for...probably too long. I'm considerably bigger than what I was when I went to sleep, and my cantrips tell me that its been almost 600 years.
I have a few problems with my situation. I can no longer stand up enough to be able to move, I can't remember the incantation for shapeshifting either.
Worst of all, I have a cramp in my tail that I can't seem to work out, and I cant see it to figure out whats going on since it kind of curled around a bend down a tunnel. Actually, it may just be stuck.
>Help?

Sounds like a good idea. I think you solved my problem, so you have my gratitude.

They weren't even the same race as the city. They were a bunch of tieflings, a minotaur, and kitsunes boasting about how their thousand fold swords would cleave me in half. What the hell is a thousand fold sword? You tell me, because they aren't common around here, and they didn't damage me for shit. At least the minotaur taste good.

Where do you remember going to sleep? If it isn't too far out of the way, I'll see if I can help. Just don't panic, otherwise you could get a boulder to smack you in the head.

Well, up in the mountains above Whitecliff of course. Also, I am laying on top of my hoard and while i can crane my head around, none of it is visible, though i think i remember a spear that was lying on top that seems to be embedded in my scales now. Its getting rather itchy considering its a dragon bane one.
I still don't know how i overslept. my alarms were set for 100 years.

Oh god, I just realized that I'm 1400 years old now. I've been a Great wyrm for 200 years. No wonder I'm so big.

Hey guys, just woke up.
It seems that someone built a city atop my lair.
The dwellers of the sewers were more than willing to guard my horde.

Should i just trash the place or should i negotiate for the ownership of the land? I think i have a good chance of getting the rights, plus this could be a pretty good source of gold.

A whole Balor or just its heart?

Okay, that's good. I was just heading back from Zanderfeldt Ridge, and you are right on the way. I'll pick up some scrolls and be over there as soon as possible. Try not to scratch at the spear, it could get messy if you do.

Well, at least you feel rested now, right? I bet you slept quite soundly to be able to sleep that long.

/dtg/, i may have fucked up big time, and definitely need some help.

So, i was trolling about on the human mananets and stumbled upon this particular story.
It seemed like a novel idea. I mean, who wouldn't want a hoard that simply adores you and never leaves your side?
With a bit of power imbuing, you could even hold telepathic conversations with them.
So i started to animate my hoard one by one.
Make it nice and difficult to alter.
Shock and horror, at about the 1560000th piece, they started clumping together. And i heard the most sonorous voice ask for more.
More coins. Halfway through my hoard, i had a roughly wyvern sized humanoid shape chatting with me. Again, asking for coins. Even once my hoard was spent and the creature had taken on a distinctly human shape, that of a human female, she asked for more coins. When i got back from my little side hoard with one thousand bags of holding full of coins, she mentioned she'd beaten down a group of adventurers who tried to steal her away. All fine and dandy, right?
It gets worse. The moment i'd exhausted both hoards, she broke out through the citadel ceiling and started walking off towards the southern regions muttering something about getting married and having our honeymoon. And after the third city she trampled in her lovestruck lollygagging, someone called in dragoons to deal with the giant coin golem lady. The one time i got a good look at her eyes, they looked like something i'd seen before on mad mages...

Anyway. Yandere(is that even the right term?) Coin Golem, wat do?

>What, you aren't big enough to fit an entire balor in your chest? out with you, youngling.
Thank you. I hear scraping sounds and I think something is gnawing at my tail now. I normally wouldn't be worried, but this is an unusual situation. By the way, what color are you, or does that matter in this potentially forward-thinking world?

>busy fucking up a city for pleasure and profit
>having fun times flinging hellfire around
>suddenly a bunch of adventurers show up
>ohboy.jpg
>fly over to tell them to fuck off
>they tell me to fuck off instead
>isthatso.jpg
>take the time to defeat them ironically
>they manage to slip away
>shrug and go back to destroying the city

All in a day's work. Who the fuck watches gates anyway?

That's what you get for trusting in hairless monkeys

>not bribing an adventure into claiming he slew you to get them off your back (with your manufactured "evidence", of course), lying low for a few years and then getting right back to where you started
>with the added bonus of people convinced you're either immortal or have a divine patron bringing you back
>plus the former adventurer having a vested interest in sabotaging efforts to kill you lest you spill the beans
They just don't make them like they used to.

I just got my first cave and I'm not sure how to do any of this.
Any tips from the more experienced dragons who might be able to help out a dessert dwelling dragonling out?

My hoard isn't that big by the way, I've only got like a magic spear and a small heap of gold.

Make a secondary cave deep in the desert, put some of the gold there and spread rumours of a small treasure.
The locals will ignore it, and all the city folk will rush in, promptly die of dehydration, and leave all their stuff to you.

See disciple of Ashradorn.
The whole fucking thing.

I am a silver, though I don't think my color really matters. I am almost there. I will be using a polymorph scroll to turn you into a human temporarily. I will help get rid of whatever is gnawing at your tail, I will get you into a larger area, and then I will help you with the incantation for shapeshifting. Alright, see you momentarily.

Oh. That's not a bad idea. Thanks man.
What about servants, I can't seem to find any kobolts out here.

Damn, that's a tough break dranon. Was actually kind of rooting for you, it would've been a salve to my own increasing cynicism regarding the non-dragon races if you had gotten it on with that woman. Re-kindle that spark of compassion you know?

But I guess in the end they'll never be more than conniving rats even when you have the best intentions.

I'd suggest a low profile for the time being. They'll likely be on the lookout for you for a few years. Maybe you could spend the time getting that #nomagic sorted? I know a silver who does correspondence lessons in exchange for future favours from his would be students.

>I have no idea how human romance works
The dragonslayer is just foreplay you uncultured snake, you kill him and she gets wetter than a dragonturtle.

Send her my way, I wanna grow my hoard.
Alternatively - dispel her before she grows jealous and stabs you.

This is a metallic only board.

I'm sorry, I didn't know. My mom wouldn't allow me on the dragonet until after I moved out. This is my first time on this board.

Thank you for Freeing me, young one. Come, tell me your name. Names have power and I give mine freely so I can know you In the future when you are as large as I...and maybe not so careless. And thank you for saving my tail. If you wish, I will reward you with a claw that is a bane to all your future scaled foes. That spear hurt quite a bit and I can bind it to you. Its a +3 mithril dragonbane greatspear once carried by Hurin the Dragonscourge, though that was over 800 years ago. Remind me, how old are you?

I live in/under the city, they class themselves as a constitutional monarchy (I'm working out if I need to fix that? Honestly we're at the point where I don't really need much control over the small stuff) and have been happy enough to answer my questions. The missing Dragons problem isn't clear I'm afraid, seems a century back all the big names of the time had a scuffle and then another in short order and many have gone quite. The Old bro tier guy sunrise about a fifth of the globe hasn't been active since then but that place is quite secretive apparently so he could still be running things, locally it seems humans have got all types of methods of killing Dragons because that scrap hurt them and they got organised and shared their ideas (no such items are allowed in my city, my humans saw to that apparently) so if I travel away from the sun to the cold there might be a Dragon living under water that's a bit older than me, past the sun has apparently been a mess for about 2 centuries with places no mortal goes so working out if any of them are older than me will take me checking things out myself and none on that land mass sun fall are believed to be 400 yet! The only confirmed Dragon older than me is asleep and not expected to wake up (or already dead), I didn't know him when she was awake so I don't want to disturb her but it would be nice to talk to someone who remembers.
At the moment I'm thinking just offer protection to the other near by nations and see where it goes from there.
Thanks.
Go for it, I suggest showing curiosity, it puts the biped mind towards influencing the situation rather than confronting it so they're more likely to encourage the you own the land and will look after them for gold idea.

Easier said than done, by this point she's large enough that i could rest on her head and it'd just be like my old hoard. That, and she strolled through New Anthauma, and you know how crazy those guys are about antimagic fields. I swear, my ears are permanently damaged from the sound of hundreds of AM fields crackling and fizzling out under her feet.

On the plus side, she seems the caring type rather than the stabby type.

Hey Draganons I'm more of a collector interesting things than just straight gold. I have a couple collections so far.

My first one includes artifacts, weapons, etc both magical and non magical with specific dates of creation, the designer, purpose, all organized by type and date. It's interesting to see how some of the weapons evolved and some of the artifacts I've found or acquired are pretty powerful, though I don't plan on using them. This collection is in a medium sized mountain a little ways from my main collection.

My second one and the one I'm most proud of is my library. I dare say I nearly have a copy for almost every book/tome written so far. This collection is by far my largest, I started it in an abandoned ancient Dwarven stronghold in a mountain and has taken up about 75% of the place all the books are sorted by topic, author, and date (I use my own dating system as the standard one around here has changed too many times to be useful). I even developed a magical cataloging system with the help of a few wizards that I met during my travels (They were very helpful in developing the system and maintaining it), They also help restore the older books so everything is in good condition. There is the restricted section of course, though only I know and I have access to this part. A couple of the books I've acquired from some less than reputable beings even I dare not read them. I must say though I started collecting about 1600 years ago by this point and the quality of the books made hit it's peak about 700 years ago and has been declining slowly ever since, the quality of work varies throughout the years. I've thought about this for some time but I there is a very prominent book publishing company in the nearby human kingdom that I could acquire for the small amount of gold I actually do have in my horde. This way I would get some gold back slowly over time but I could finally deal with the quality issue of some of the books.

Land on her head, you need to enforce your claim.

I already am. For one, how do you think i know i could rest on her head and for two, where do you think i planted the crystal ball?

Ah, cripes. Looks like she's gone fully autonomous. I just saw her strip a dwarven mountainhome of all the gold and integrate the load to herself.

You don't need to buy it, inform a suitable party that you're looking to return certain books to circulation and many will offer to pay for the privilege.

So throw a bag of holding on her. Ought to give you a good laugh.

>Someone hold me, I am seething in anger.

Time to go back to your s̶a̶f̶e̶ ̶s̶p̶a̶c̶e̶ dungeon, Snowflake the Special.

Continued

It's only really the human and other short lived races that the book quality has been decreasing. The Elves and Dwarves have stayed consistent over the years and I have someone people who send me every copy and every revision of a book whether they're published or not which is great for me so I don't have to go out and find all the books from those races.

At the rate that my library is expanding I'll need to move it to someplace larger or go deeper underground. I have my sights set on the largest mountain in this region though it's already inhabited by various creatures so clearing it will take a lot of time. I do have a section on Dwarven mining and Underground Architecture I should probably read which would help in planning out the new library and could teach some of my other underlings which would make the construction go smoother.

Lastly the nearby human kingdom has finally released to the public their grand library, claiming that it is the greatest library that has every been created. I've visited it and it doesn't even have a quarter of the books I have. I know that only a select few creatures even know about my library but them claiming it's the greatest in history really irks me a bit. I want to show them that their library really sucks but then I fear that would comprise the amount of work I've put into mine. But still whenever I visit the kingdom every time I hear them bragging about their library.

You need to get out of there if you can't fight what she's getting you into a fight with, can you Gate? The elemental plain of Earth has lots of gold while you plan your next move, if plain shifting is out try and get her to form a pole tall enough to reach the moon, you need to pick the battle field here.

Tried that. None of the coins went in and i can't find a big enough bag to fit over her head anymore.

Also, incidentally, i've slipped down to her shoulders. She just straight up donkey punched a dragoon out of the sky. Just like that.

Suggest to the human in charge that they change their claim to "the greatest public library" they should get the hint.

That is a perfect idea, there's been many books I've noticed over the time that have gone out of circulation and have been lost. They would pay quite a bit to get some of their older history books back too. I could even get some royalties and get some more gold so my horde doesn't look so bad compared to some of the other in the greater area.

Can you still talk to her? If so you should try to get her to agree to let you take her to another plane. Promise her more gold so she'll go?

Ooh good idea. This iteration of the king seems be smarter than some of the recent ones so he should get the hint!

>spend 200 years writing down the most creative enigmas the world has ever seen
>group of adventurers come to my cave
>they don't even try to speak to me

When did humans stop caring about some foreplay? I mean, it's not like I actually need that single specific gem amongst all my treasures, so I wouldn't actually mind giving it away if they actually tried to play some mind games.

Am I asking too much?

>not mind giving that gem away
>what kind of dragon are you

Okay, i can try, but as long as that dwarven war machine is in her sights, i don't think i can get her attention.

Try putting them in a position where they're forced to talk to you then

You could try putting them in a maze, try to talk to them telepathically or being loud. Then whenever they get one of them lead them through a section of the maze or open a section of the maze for them to pass until they answer the next one correctly. Just one possible option

Hmm try to get a the people out immediate area put some gold in an area then once she's doing her thing with that pile of gold do whatever you have to, to talk to her then you can promise her more gold somewhere else.

Hey guys, noticed a chunk of worked marble sticking out of a pile of boulders awhile back. Just got done digging it out yesterday, turns out it was a Dwarven Ruin. Shapeshifted into a cat and headed in to explore. There is a huge camp of ilithids building...something.
Anyways, I managed to get near the vault (cleverly disguised of course, but still warded so the ilithids clearly don't know about it). I need someone who is young enough to fit through the door (nothing larger than an ancient copper, cause thats what I am and i can just barely fit) but old enough to help get through that encampment. Psionics are a bitch after all. I'll split the horde evenly with you for the gold, gems, and we take an equal split on the number of magic items, you can even have the odd ones out. Based on the size of the hall past the door, it should be a pretty massive horde, considering I could easily fly inside it.

I...i don't think there's enough gold left on the continent.

That war machine? Damned goldhogs built it out of enchanted gold. On the plus side, she now has clothing, but on the minus side, she also has heavy thaumatic artillery. She's started blasting the dragoons away with it. I landed in her cleavage after the recoil and then got pelted by a swarm of cats that i could swear was a dragoon at one point. Help.

>or being loud
Would not recommend. Tiny ones tend to spook easily and can become hostile when presented with loud noises.

Ah I'd loved to go and find out if there's anything that I could add to my collections but I'm too big to fit

Well at least you aren't the one getting hit out of the air right? You've created a monster my friend.

Oh yes that is very true, bad suggestion. Oh I know! And the end of each section there could be an open area and you could be there chilling then they have to talk to you and once they answer correctly you let them pass

>be me visiting distant relatives in distant and mysterious East
>hear about some dragon-emperor
>don't know guy but sound important, I'll drop by and say hi
>dragon-emperor isn't a dragon
>he is human
>he died of fear when I landed in his palace
>PANIC.jpg
>ate corpse
>some random old fuck comes
>"My emperor, you did it? Is that really you? You managed to become a real dragon?"
>Don't know what to do I say yes
>Now I am emperor of some humans
>They want me to rule and I don't know anything about this ruling
I will never ever visit east again.
Fuck I can live with adventurers once in a decade, but this bureaucrats keeps waking me every day so I can attend some state ceremony and give my royal consent.

But now your horde is literally a nation and all the wealth in the nation.

I just wanted some company is all, i didn't mean it!

Oh, great, here's some blue dragon yelling into my ear about something, as if i didn't have enough problems already...

They use JADE COINS and PAPER NOTES as currency. What kind of shit-tier hoard is this?
Plus I'm sure chancellor Huang is plotting against me and grand general Wu is insufferable faggot that wants me to invade some places I never heard of.

Also I feel bad for late emperor's family. His son have some father issues and is in difficult "phase" as humans call it, daughter is sweet child that I don't have stomach to tell that her dad is dead and I am scared of day when empress will come back to palace.
I know right magic, but was never one of human-dragon relationship fags.

>Chromaticucks

You're going to need a lot of help to deal with her...

What's a blue dragon doing there?

Oh right they don't use gold, that is a pretty bad hoard. Well do you know anyone that could resurrect the "Dragon-Emperor?" back in your home land? You ate the body right so you still technically have it with you. Then you could play it off as oh the "dragon ritual" only worked for so long etc etc and then you'd be free to go home. The Empire would get it's leader back and the kids their father back.

>not a Keep deep within a Cave on a Mountain Top

30,000/f/Mountain Top Cave Keep Frostwyrm here. Anyone want to destroy some villages?

Portable hole then.

You're welcome, most humans don't want to be a nuisance and as long as you don't trigger their confrontation response can be dealt with easily. I also learnt that the humans near me were very glad I had stuff that was otherwise missing (I missed out on getting payment for it, one of the perils of a mostly public library), letters between kings and similar types are of quite a bit of interest to them (I had a few that I hadn't filed because I didn't think they were worth anything so I managed to extract some "to be named later" for them).

>white dragon overcompensation
Colourlets, when will they learn?

That's true. However I've kept my presence in this area a secret as to not influence to the people around here I got out in my human or other race form to gather the items for my collection. I'm only really in my true form when I'm in my home or when I go out to get some food. In all the time I've been in this land only a handful people have seen my true form aside from the people I selected to assist in my library.

It's unfortunate you weren't able to get anything back for your contributions. I have quite a mass of copies of letters between nobles but for my area at least I think I'll hold onto those though. One of my personal rules that I set in place for myself has to not meddle in the affairs of the smaller races and not influence their behaviour. I've only failed that once and don't want to have to do through that whole thing again.

HELP!!! I CANT STOP EATING HALFLINGS AND IT IS MAKING ME FAT!!!!

>White Dragon
How do you even read? I thought no white dragon could read/write/count because of their low intelligence.
As a matter of fact how are you even breathing

>Brass dragon master race reporting in