You suddenly become a fully armed and armoured Tactical/Devastator/Assault Marine (your choice, gene-seed of Roboute Guilliman), in the exact position you are now. You still have your personality but all of a sudden you're 7' tall in socks and you're a master of combat and tactics. You become one of the specialty types of Marine if you have a job similar to it or are training for such (e.g. a soldier becomes a sergeant).
What do?
Fall through my couch, then get up and start robbing local store.
Obligatory break my chair, and assuming all the rest of everything in my life stays constant I'll have a couple of issues with some short-term plans, but my longer term plans will be great.
Also the Royal Navy would likely be getting a techmarine I, which might shake things up, depending on how much knowledge is included with the change.
I'm into the occult. Does that mean I can become a Librarian?
If so, I'd make money as a sideshow freak or start gambling.
My house has stairs before I can leave my front door.
>SQUAD BROKEN
Pick porcelain toilet shards out of my butt cheeks and then try not to get the national guard called by security.
I'd break my chair.
I'd end up becoming an apothecary because I am a biology student.
Then join like a marathon or something for kicks
>tech support
YOUR REQUEST FOR BOLTER SPRING J THETA MINOR HAS BEEN DENIED. FORGE YPSILON99 DOES NOT HAVE THE APPROPRIATE RITES TO APPEASE THE MACHINE SPIRIT OF THAT COMPONENT. REROUTE YOUR PLEAS TO FORGE 7SKULLBREAKER GAMMA.
Oh yea I could actually make more marines because I have geneseed and the know how to use it
lewd
fuck off bile
I backstab my allies the first opportunity i get.
You know, I think i become a superhero.
If you're 1st line support, your corresponding rank in 40k isn't Techmarine, it's Servitor.
Primaris or marinelet? And since I'm a theology major does that make me a chaplain?
I become a techmarine? Great. I'll spend my time improving my car into a murder machine. Then I'll use it to end crime in my city.
*angry cogitator noises*
Anything a techmarine would know.
You have to have a related vocation. Anything that involves keeping knowledge would count.
You can be a Primaris if you aren't a manlet yourself. And yes.
Unless your city is an urban warzone hellhole then I can't see a space marine stopping much crime.
Fuck. Yes.
He is thinking a little low.
A decked out space marine could probably take over a poorly developed country.
As a tech marine he could probably bring it to a 1st world tech level in 50 years
be sad that my new chair I just bought can't support my weight now.
obviously i would break my chair, desk and other shit im close to atm
But what the fuck would my profession become when im studying multimedia design of all fucking things ?
Fuck guys. What the hell would I become? I work at fucking Walmart.
I work as a priest on the sidelines, am I a chaplain?
wageslave or manageslave?
Well, I'm a History Major. Guess that works out pretty well.
>The Rise of the Terran Irregular Chapter.
Wooh yeah libby
I can feel the warp overtaking me
Heraldry painter/banner weaver
Lobotomized failed aspirant
Sweet I become an Interrogator Chaplain or a Psyker. Time to exercise my Emperor given might and dominate my unit, raising it to the most motivated fighting force yet known to man
You found the Sons of Walmart chapter.
Do we have the gear of our associated specialty or just the trainings? Do we have power armor? Also how do psyker powers work IRL? Are there daemons?
I have a history degree if that counts?
This toilet is destroyed.
Then I seek penance for destroying a symbol of the chapter
quite blatant
>Heraldry painter/banner weaver
If that's the case i damned well be the one that runs around with it as well.
Just marines dudes, nothing wrong with that.
Multimedia might have a talent for creating chapter histories or working with iterators and whatnot, but for the most part you're just regular Assualt Marines, Devastators or Tacticals
And as per , if not a manlet then you can be Primaris
>tfw primaris apothecary
I'm going to be the greatest pediatrician ever
literally
True, being a space marine in itself is pretty awesome, but i thought the iterators was gone after the Horus Heresy
Hey, reaper totally works in 40k. Who doesn't want an immortal chaplain with teleportation powers and dual shotguns? Just preface "Die Die Die" with "In the Name of The Emperor"
Old chaps are better chaps
leaving aside the transition from angery to edge, the teeth on their skull mask are too low to look serious
>Not PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE
Battle brothers!
Same here.
Hmmm. Don't know what I'd do, probably be pretty occupied with warpshit. Might go about trying to forge a mini imperium in the north east united States. May take a while but hey, I've got time. Probably try to either shill the Catholic Church or make some kind of nutty Abrahamic alliance and posture myself as some prophet or great unifier.
>Optical assistant/Lab Technician
Shit dog i have no idea what that means.
However, Salamander is the only real answer.
>tactical overbite
The correct high gothic is actually
MORI
MORI
MORI
Which is ironically also the actual roman vulgar dialect for it
stereotypical Italian chadpter when?
Trying to fight demons in the warp and maintaining the gellar field
> any normal buck private retard auto becomes sergeant by virtue of similar job
I guess I become motherfucking Calgar.
Time to go punch out the Swarmlord. Ultramar now bitches.
or a devastator with a plasma cannon ?
Probably, but someone has to record the histories and promote His Holy Angels of Death to the trillion-strong masses of the Imperium
He'd also make a decent inquisitor
Maybe Optics = Lascannon? They at least have lenses
that could work, also have less chance of blowing yourself up
That's true, but i doubt it's as accurate as it once was
Something with lenses anyways!
Tech-marine specialised in surveying
I'm 6ft tall and have an industrial job. Mostly pushing buttons and flipping switches, but I occasionally do maintinence.
I think I'm a primaris tech marine. I'm ok with that.
Yes, there are daemons. Not Slaaneshi ones.
I'm studying psychology, am I a Chaplin or a librarian?
Get your power maul and skull mask, you're a chaplain.
GRIMALDUS GRIMALDUS GRIMALDUS GRIMALDUS GRIMALDUS GRIMALDUS
I program off season and do tree work in season. . .
Wtf am I?
Hope I can keep the chainsaw
Unless you're a Navy SEAL you don't get to be a chapter master. Captain at best.
If you'd had a lot of tours you can be a veteran.
Eliminate some local politicians and activists because of their retarded independance plans. Other than that go on with my life.
I work in topography so I would just be a basic marine but it should be more than enough.
I work in a warehouse. The chief skillset I bring to the company is the ability to lift up heavy things over and over.
I think I failed Astartes selection and was made into a lifter-servitor.
Great, I'm a librarian by profession.
Shelving books, mind-fry some shit, help people find what they need, open a rift into the warp. works gonna be fun.
And in my free time I'll probably find out if slaanesh exists or not.
>Still so salty about Brexit he'd murder innocent people just because they supported it
Anyone got the number for MI5?
I ain't no Brit
Offer myself to the local Sheriff's department as a deputy. Spend the rest of my days busting meth labs and impressing kids (and their moms) at the county fair.
Bitch you don't make the rules
How are you going to bang women with your acid spitting penis that ejaculates with the force of a gun?
>EMT
i fall through my apartment floor and become an apothecary
>Medic 322 you have an emergency call at [location]
NO SERVANT OF THE EMPEROR SHALL FALL IF I CAN HELP IT
Yeah I do.
Space marines spit acid from their mouth, you dingus, not their dicks. And there's no ballistic semen there, either.
That said, they'd probably have trouble getting an erection, just like a 'roidhead. All those implanted organs cannot be good for your sexual health.
does space marines even have dicks ?
Yes.
Do lawyers become chaplains?
if so, i go to my local police department and become a super cop.
If not, i just become a merch to live in luxury
what do business majors become
im sure my wife would be upset, she wants another kid.
>studying architecture
So techmarine? Neat. Well, finish uni and get on with my life coasting on far future know-how and knowing I'm functionally immortal. Have exactly two sons at some point. Maybe have a few decades off as an athlete.
Sons
Not without being a apothecary you punk
Speaking of which primaris apothecary.
I'd break my doors
I live in Brazil.
>1st world tech level
We aren't living in a goddamn jungle, we just have a lot of crime. Specially organized crime.
>Brazil
Just join a football team and make bolter rounds for the rest of us
Do a gear check to make sure my Apothecary tools are where they need to be then wait patiently for the first marine related casualty to crop up.
Wouldn't that be Sons of Walton?
Or even better, Sons of Sam?
I thought marines were 9 feet tall?
big thick ones with angry veins running up and down their furious length
>Currently working on my Mech. Engineering bachelor's
What do?
>Become Techmarine
>Pray to pic related, for great is his blessing
>Revolutionise small arms development in His name, as He did before
>Gyrojet/bolters for everyone!
And maybe do some motorcycle designing for a sidegig.
>Not Wardens of the Wal
Honestly that one Veeky Forums thread about the post apocalyptic society trapped in the ultra Wal-Mart would make for a fun recruitment/home world for a joke chapter
Im a hunter, what the fuck would i be
>Library Sciences
well. now i'm a brainwizard.
6ft or taller qualified you for Primaris
Now I am become Chadmarine, destroyer of your asshole
Break Floor of apartment, Become Tech Marine terminator since gunsmith and good with heavy weapons. Then go and rob GW And try and avoid the nation Guard.
Could anything short of a tank missile take a marine?
Grey Knight/Deathwatch?
Scout Sergeant?
Yes. 40MM Grenade in mass. Also should of mention Lamenter since bad luck and having a knack to fucking myself over. Also I am not a manlet so fuck I am primaris.
Scout sergeant.
Just SGT since you need good charisma and good leadership. AKA You get to pick what ever squad type has a sergeant in it.
>in the exact position you are now. You still have your personality but all of a sudden you're 7' tall in socks
I try not to freak out my parents too much and then ask them to help me up the basement stairs
I want this now. If there is an archive copy please link
>become Tactical because that should give me Assault and Devastator training too
>break chair
>head to gf's place to find out once and for all if Astartes dicks work right
>go join Air Force as planned, but without having to lose any more weight or study for the ASVAB
Assuming a functional dick, my life has improved about 8000% Thanks, OP!
I crush my bed and my boyfriend rolls on top of me. Then, I get up, and go rob a bank.