That Guy/Gm thread

It's nothing special, but notorious in that GM, as far as i know, doesn't visit Veeky Forums

>Roll20 game
>GM describes elves in the setting as "young-looking and universally attractive"
>oh boy here goes the elf wank-
>"Furthermore they have been enslaved by humans for so long that they had their disobedience bred out"
>pic related
>"Elves are a servile race now, eager to please their masters"
>[pic related intensifies]
>GM then encourages us to take elf slaves (wat do)
>this is not what i signed up for
>The one elf slave (wat do) taken by a character acts to him like a stereotypica anime waifu
>leave the game
>close the tab
>die a little more inside

That's entirely your own fault user (yes I know this is a reference to )

That is like being an engineer IRL who only took art classes in college, or a bard who mutilated his own vocal cords. Why would any character in this universe actively sabotage themselves to such a degree? That's almost more illusion breaking than playing a pure, unfeeling stat block.

The biggest shock to me isn't that there are shitty players. I've dealt with shitty players before. But so far I've run for 9 different people here, and the best of them I'd rate as mediocre. Shit is the norm, which is bizarre.

I understand your pain. Magical realms are fuckin' weird.

>dramatic scene at the end of the game
>beloved NPC is being judged and unjustly convicted of crimes he did not commit
>all players are invested in the scene like hell
>That Guy decides he hasn't had enough screentime (after spending half the game roleplaying mental breakdowns to attract attention)
>starts intervening in the middle of the Queen's speech, claps loudly and cheers while everyone (including the accusers) is somber and almost in mourning
This was the last straw of a very thick bushel he had used up over the course of years of awful roleplay and his character was promptly suicided during the night by a mix of PCs and NPCs
No one in the group has talked to the retard since and we're all doing so much better

I don't understand why you would even let this person come back. This person clearly makes the game worse for everyone involved, why suffer through it when you're supposed to be doing something enjoyable?

Holy shit, I've seen high schoolers fake mental breakdowns/mental illness to get attention, but RPing mental breakdowns is somehow on an even worse level.

>Get invited to a game
>GM is an old friend of mine, known him for years
>Have been told nothing about this campaign. All I know about it is that he's having some troubles with his players and wants to use me as an example
>Enter stage left
>"Hey guys I brought Pizz- what the fuck?"
You know those movies about DnD where people dress up as their characters to play as at the table? Imagine that but with furries.
>guess I'll just try
>explain that there is literally no need to wear suits because it's hot as shit out and the house has like no AC
>get yelled at
>fine whatever keep your dumb cum stained rags on
>Get caught up with the campaign
>It was SUPPOSED to be an apocalyptic scenario where the original heroes of the realm failed to kill the lich, and these new players were playing in the aftermath
>managed to turn it into motherfucking Bleach somehow because one of the characters was supposedly some kind of "reaper"
>sigh as I co-DM with ma boi in a desperate attempt to get things back on track
>do this for three sessions before I quit
>Literally anything I tried to do was getting derailed constantly because of one weaboo fuck who kept thinking he just didn't have enough attention.
>hear that the fallout was apocalyptic in and of itself for everyone involved except for my DM buddy
>MFW one of the old players tried to contact me recently
I've only heard stories of these kinds of people from 4chins. Never thought I would come across them.

>You know those movies about DnD where people dress up as their characters to play as at the table? Imagine that but with furries.

And that is when you should have left.

Had a guy apply to a game I was in with a character that I am still not sure whether it was meant to be ironic or not. She was a blind silver haired girl whose class was Mechanic but somehow had a magical "mind's eye" that let her see normally. This is ostensibly how she would managed to fly the airship that she owned at level 1.
Oh, and she could see the future sometimes.

>She was a blind silver haired girl
>Mechanic
>"mind's eye"
>This is ostensibly how she would managed to fly the airship that she owned
>Oh, and she could see the future sometimes
I think I've watched this show before.

>GM then encourages us to take elf slaves (wat do)
I wonder what GM's reaction would've been if a player responded to that with "My character would sooner slit his own wrists".

>who kept thinking he just didn't have enough attention.
what? like whenever a plot hook gets dangled in front of him he'd just say "I don't think I can see this plot through, I'm going to go do jack diddly"?

>Gm is awful and barely attempts storytelling
>get in situations where we should be expected to die or be seriously injured
>npc saves us with asspull
>ends up just being just a dice rolling session and dungeon crawling (the worst part)
>try to interject to bring some story in- let's not do this, let's kill these guys
>met with disapproval from all and a let's not do that attitude.
>try to reason with npcs and ask about other situation, no you can't do that, no no no etc.
>try to kill character but can' because of npcs.
>the game continues but I can't quit because I don't want to upset the gm and the other players.

Sometimes he just plugs it into his own narrative, other times he just ignores it entirely, yeh

My college had an impressive D&D club, about 40-50 students strong. Of them about 70 percent were well adjusted, and those that weren't tended toward awkward but good players. But one kid stood out. This is the story of FULL FRONTAL ASSAULT.

>At the introductory meeting, playing a faux game with preassigned groups.
>Me, a good friend of mine, two other who are unimportant, club officer DM and FULL FRONTAL ASSAULT
>Handed out randomly generated 3.5e lvl 6 character sheets.
>I get wiz, friend gets pali, others get fighter and thief, FULL FRONTAL ASSAULT gets cleric
>7 other groups running a simultaneous adventures between two rooms
>Standard dungeon crawl, a little puzzling here and there
>Not for FFA
>Every problem we run across he simply yells at the table "FULL FRONTAL ASSAULT" and does it
>It's impossible to explain how he says this, but he has this confidence in his voice
>As if what he is saying is applicable or makes sense and he looks like a fucking bad ass because of it.
>Everyone at the other tables glances at him when he says it.
>At points of combat, he also only attacks.
>DM tried to at least make him RP having to walk somewhere, putting the monster just out of reach of his full move.
>He moves once, as close as he can get, then attacks the ground.
>Rolls to fucking FULL FRONTAL ASSAULT the ground.
>DM wants to "never say no" and lets him do it.
>Next turn FULL FRONTAL ASSAULTs the monster, smiling triumphantly.
>After the fight, some of us are messed up.
>FFA refuses to heal us, saying that's not the type of cleric he is.
>Literally healing is half his spell sheet.
>Pali heals us mostly.
>Faux adventure ends with us fighting a bird monster of some kind,
>thief throwing daggers, me throwing spells, pali trying to rip him back down to earth, fighter shooting some arrows.
>FFA does nothing until he can FFA it.
>Never give him the chance and kill it in air.

I learned a bit more about FFA over the years if anyone is curious for more.

>I don't understand why you would even let this person come back
Because I'm not the GM
>why suffer through it when you're supposed to be doing something enjoyable?
I informed my GM and group about my problem with this issue, I give myself 1 session, if that session is as horrible as the last one, I'm out

>I learned a bit more about FFA over the years if anyone is curious for more.
Hit us.

Did you play with this guy?

I require more of FFA for this dying thread

sounds like an autist's attempt at being a typical shonen protagonist

seconding more stories

>typical shonen protagonist
Just play Berserker. They're basically every anime trope already.

see I often get around this by having the PC's be part of an organization, case in point being part of the Alliance to Restore the Republic (AoR), or the Imperial Inquisition (DH). Because then it's their JOB to follow plot hooks , or in the case of DH, failing to follow a plot hook could result in the quest-giver blowing the PC's head off.

Actually that player sounds like he'd be fun to have in a Dark Heresy game now that I'm talking about it. If only to see his reaction when the Inquisitor executes his special snowflake for failing to investigate whatever weirdness he was supposed to investigate and nothing he says or does can retcon-away said execution.

>Blow off the main campaign
>Your character's head gets blown off

Have you brought up your concerns to the gm?

I once had a game of Dark Heresy where all the PCs died, of their own fault, before they even started the mission
It was pretty spectacular but I don't want to type it for nothing

What do I have to pay you to hear this story? I own an entire collection of screencaps of the Dota 2 guy's face from the trailer.

No because like I said I don't want to upset him. Everyone else seems to enjoy themselves so I don't want to ruin the game for them but I've played other games which are better so it's hard to have to just dice roll in this one.
It's probably evident I am discontent on playing though because I'm not as into it as the others, partly because I'm not really close to these people- I only play dnd with them once a week and there's not alot to roleplay because of the lack of story.

More FFA stories it is.

Lol.

I never played with him again, but I was on good terms with his designated GM. This was my third year in the club, and I knew the officers well. No one wanted him after the opening session, so they drew straws.

He may or may not have had a touch of the tisms.

He was, in addition to being obsessed with FFAs, obsessed with MLP and Smash Bros. Before sessions, I'd listen in on him while he played it on his DS. He role played while playing smash.

That bears repeating.

>HE ROLE PLAYED PLAYING SMASH

He would set up practice mode and play as Bowser (always Bowser) against whoever was in his story that week. Usually Mario, Peach, Sonic, and Ness. He would spawn assist trophies and claim that the resulting character was his minion, doing his bidding.

The story usually was that he was trying to romance and rescue Peach away from an abusive Mario, with help from Sonic. In stories after Bowser's rescue of Peach, Ness played Mario and Peach's son, who Bowser adopted and treated better than Mario did.

In the sessions they had, he eventually got a little better, but he didn't understand that he wasn't the main character, and often attempted to do anything to get the attention drawn on him. It simply didn't happen, though. The other players almost walked out of the sessions a few times.

What stands out most in my mind was the time he passed me on the way to the designated meeting spot.

This man did not walk, did not run, did not jog, did not bike, did not skate board, didn't even skip to his fucking loo.

THIS MOTHER FUCKER GALLOPED! GALLOPED ACROSS CAMPUS! WITH AN MLP BACK PACK AND 3DS IN TOW!

seriously, the idea that you can't play an optimized character who is also a good concept is insane to me.

Like, they're adventurers. And based on that post, they're not exactly new to this. Your character has to have been relatively competent to make it beyond level 1 In Character.

I was just checking if there was interest
Hol' up lil' nigga, let me get to it and I'll post the tale of Damned If They Do, Oh Damn They Did

>HE ROLE PLAYED PLAYING SMASH

Okay, fine. Here's the story:

>Group is traveling for different reasons to acquire special item blah
>Problem player is playing a pretentious wizard with a god awful accent
>whatever.dealwithit
>from the start of the first session he is threatening other players and is openly hostile to those who have been assigned to protect him
>argues in circles with the ranger, who is supposed to be guiding the group to swamp with magical item, about who can track better because he succeeded on a perception roll that the ranger failed
>argues with the knight who has been assigned to protect said wizard for the reason that, as best as I can figure out, he ALSO has a shitty accent
>adventure proceeds and wizard is busy doing stupid shit
>for example
>1: outpost inn is set on fire by marauders so to quell confusion and keep people from running out of the inn, he cast entangle (or maybe it was web) which prevented most people from leaving including one NPC
>2: sets himself on fire during that same encounter through a mishap and jumps down the well to put himself out
>3: threatens the knight who pulls him out that if he ever helps him again, he'll kill the knight because he's a strong independent wizard who don't need no martials
>next session, side tracked by tracking down marauders from last game. Slowed by bad rolls from the ranger
>wizard is reminding him how useless he is
>nonmagicgimp.haha
>reach strange tower ruin hideout of the bandits
>wizard argues for 1 hour about going down into it when rest of party wants to move on; eventually starts arguing in circles with himself ooc
>party caves and proceeds down into tower
>eventually skelly battle; group nearly tpks on bad rolls
>party is glad to be alive, oh but not Mr Wizard!
>argues and yells at group some more

Type it out faggot don't tease us

a bit of background first
>be 16-17 at the time, pretty serious and autistic kid
>decide to try and DM at local LGS and put up an ad on their games board
>of course, the grognards refuse to play with a kiddie
>finally manage to assemble a party
>all teens, between 15-16, stereotypical pasty/pimply nerds, apparently they hung out at the store all the time
>overjoyed to have found people my age to play with, really excited, prepare a lot of stuff
>have planned a short Dark Heresy scenario, illegal xenos trade in the underhive, a bit of bureaucratic navigation and general down and dirty sewer combat with gangsters looks our way and
>on that fateful day, as we go to one of the game rooms, I can see the grognards flashing amused looks my way and snickering abundantly
>a chill runs down my spine, but I choose to ignore it
>settle around the table and hand out some premade characters
>while they're choosing, one of the grognards comes into the room and asks if he can stay for a bit, with a shit-eating smirk on his face
>accept, no problem with that, but yet, my concern grows as I watch my players argue among themselves in shrill voices about who gets to play the psyker

ye ok

>playing with an online group
>cool group of fellows; 2 i know IRL but we live too far away from each other to game
>and then 1 dude from a FB group we're all in
>group is travelling through a wintery forest type place
>find caravan that has been ransacked; not unusual given the scarcity of food and the advent of bandits
>find a young boy whose sister has been kidnapped
>DO GOODING INTENSIFIES, kill a fuckload of bandits, save sister, parents are dead af tho.
>Agree to take kids with us to the next town, where we can give them over to an officer of the Adventuring Guild we're in
>Generally cute RP of murder hobos with a conscience trying to take care of 8-9 year old kids
>but FB boy
>FB boy keeps wanting to take the female kid off for 'private lessons'
>keeps commenting ICly about how cute she is
>keeps giving her sweets that he carries with him for some reason
>by the time we reached town, everyone agreed not to let him take her off alone, or even be out of sight with her; maternal witch lady I'm playing is 90% sure he's a child rapist
>we reach town, give the kids off to that officer
>confront weird boy about it ICly
>'i wouldn't dream of making a move on her while she's so young!'
>'I mean maybe when she was older...'
>thankfully he dies in the fight against the BBEG at the very end of the campaign

tl;dr ranger loli-loving degenerate attempts to groom a 7 year old girl into wanting his cock when she's older. Was pretty god damn creepy.

His tirade has literally cost the night; 6 hours to track 4 people, walk down a staircase, fight 2 skeletons, and heal up from the battle. Have a serious talk with him about table etiquette; doesn't even try the "it's just the character" meme, says he'll do better next game.
>Next session starts with the party finding an active portal to a desert
>party wants to leave, Wizard wants to go in
>most of the party gives up and is on the wizards rails now
>prepare to venture from grasslands to Death Valley via magic and proceed through
>head to some ruins in the near distance
>columns rise a hundred feet with a giant bottomless pit below
> thin crumbly bridge leads to dais suspended over the pit
>without hesitation, Mr Wizard sprints across and grabs the orb floating just above the dais
>nat20.meme
>not counting on his luck holding, he ties a rope off and prepares to run back over
>gargoyle climbs up behind wizard
>group says nothing, just watches in anticipation
>wizard fails dex check badly and falls, rope catches him
>literally first preplanned action of the 4 sessions of this game
>gargoyle being malicious, starts to play with the wizard, batting him around like a piñata
>group starts firing arrows but shit rolls mean the arrows either miss or bounce off the gargoyle's hide
>knight can't let his charge die; jumps toward the gargoyle
>critical success
>heroic as fuk
>gargoyle fails strength check, starts to fall while knight holds on Gandalfing the gargoyle like the balrog it's not
>Knight takes some pride knowing he saved a character, he did his duty despite how he felt
>wizard is glowering and pouty
>give knight player some extra exp for his next character roll up

>wizard has had enough, starts yelling about stolen glory, stupid characters, "I have to do everything around here", he (points at knight guy) is an idiot and doesn't deserve any reward, he's retarded
Now knight guy is on the spectrum, and when he hears all of this, he's not entirely sure how to express himself. He quietly begins making his next character without looking up from his book. The rest of us calm wizard down; unfortunately we're at his place and most of us want to keep gaming.
>mood changes
>while some are sad at the loss of their companion, others are quietly angry at the wizard guy for acting like a childish piece of shit
>group eventually makes it out of the portal to a mountain mining boom town
>shenanigans at the brothel, tavern, and smelter
>group is dicking around before new character enters the scene: a rogue
>RPd like a pro, proceeds to call out wizard (who was being abrasive and loudly uncharismatic in the tavern) on how unlikely he is to survive out in the mountains with his current gear choices
>offers his services, easy entry to game
>nope.fuku
>rogue steals his coin purse
>here we go
>rogue leaves and wizard notices a short time later
>hires thugs to go find his money and bring it back
>hires thugs...to find and return his money. Thugs.
>I can't face palm hard enough
>Rumors about thugs turning over travelers looking for money under wizard's authority
>Wizard decides to skip town

>not before I'm done with you bucko, you gonna learn today
>he runs into same thugs beating a small merchant for his coin on his way out through the market
>this one ain't got your gold boss, we asked him real nice
>wizard attacks thugs, marketplace fight
>ranger is watching from afar, takes his chance
>misses the wizard, hits a commoner
>panic at the market
>more arrows continue to fly, killing more commoners
>rogue enters the fray to take from the dead
>cleric enters waving holy symbol and screaming at the top of her lungs to calm down
>wizard takes out the remaining thugs and runs out of town
>ranger extorts local shop to basically steal a +1 longbow and runs out of town to hunt the wizard
>rogue also tracks the wizard for reasons unknown
>cleric stays in town to clean up and use cure spells on dead people
I picked up my shit and left.

>game starts with them arriving from on a world by spaceship, on a mission for their inquisitor
>some guy greets them and informs them they have been taken care of and drives them to a shabby hotel
>tell them that they have some time before dark and they could go see the district around, maybe gather some info
>their contact will be in touch in the morning with their mission details
>at this point, I should mention they were already being very loud and the friendly neighborhood neckbeard was staring at us intently
>the psyker and guardsman stay at the hotel, while the scum, arbites and assassin go to a bar to test the waters of the place ...
>... or so I thought
>they start asking questions around
>assassin crit fails his fellowship roll
>I'm lenient, so I just tell him the only person he's managed to convince is some old drunkard that's pulling his sleeve for some change
>him : I glass him
>figure it's going to be OK, maybe have a little brawl
>he breaks his glass in the face of the old man
>then procedes to describe with much unnecessary detail how he steps on the guy's chest and cuts his throat with a piece of broken glass
>neckbeard's face when

>cleric runs in waving holy symbol and screaming at the top of her lungs to calm down

>cleric stays in town to clean up and use cure spells on dead people

Bumping for moar

>panic movement in the bar, they all roll terribly to escape the crowd and get lightly trampled
>the arbites isn't having any of that
>throws a krak grenade in the crowd
>neckbeard comes up behind me and, with a maddened flicker of light in his eye, tells me he can help me with the rules for structural integrity of buildings and explosives
>apparently knows DH in and out and has homebrewed the hell out of it
>a bit in shock, accept, try and go with the flow
>after a few calculations while the tardo gang is picking their noses (at least 3 out of 5 were openly eating their boogers), we announce that a portion of the ceiling has collapsed and fell down on some people, crushing them
>bartender pulls out a shotgun and threatens them, while a waitress is calling the adeptus arbites
>arbites of the team tries and say that he's police and everything is fine (even though the bartender saw him throw a grenade)
>bartender isn't having any of it
>arbites : I pull out my gun and shoot him in the face
>me : you understand that he is aiming a loaded shotgun at your own face ?
>him : yes
>me : still want to do it ?
>him: yes
>me : sure ?
>him (shrieking) : YES I'M SURE I WANNA KILL HIIIIIIIM
>well ok then
>auto-crit his unprotected head, kill him on the spot
>he starts shrieking, calling me a fag, etc ...
>all the while the others are laughing their asses off
>the neckbeard seems delirious with joy, he belts the howling tard and carries him out for "disturbing play", all the while smiling like it's christmas

How the fuck do you gallop

>>after a few calculations while the tardo gang is picking their noses (at least 3 out of 5 were openly eating their boogers)
Wait what the fuck.

Hands out, bouncing up and down as if holding reigns on an imaginary horse. Both feet on then both feet of the ground at points.

That sounds unfathomably retarded.

You said they *all* died?
Needed to be seen to be believed.

YES.
>laughter subsides
>I'm not really sure what to do
>try and make them leave by saying they hear arbites sirens in the distance
>neckbeard comes back, looking content
>the assassin and scum decide to take a hostage and grab a random woman from the bar
>try and escape while dragging the hostage, bartender opens fire again, shoots the hostage in the confusion
>I fudged the roll and figured they would drop her and be on their way faster
>oh nope, they're keeping the screaming, bleeding girl
>she's theirs now.
>police quickly catches up with them
>"hands up in the air, release the girl"
>scum (shrieking in a slightly higher pitched voice than the arbites player) : YOU'LL NEVER TAKE HER FROM US
>assassin : I charge
>don't even check with them if they're sure they want to do that anymore
>neckbeard pops out the critical wounds table, smiling like a madman
>in retrospect, I should have understood he really hated these guys
yes, since I am very thorough in my autism, it would have upset me immensely to not finish the logical sequence of events, even if that meant killing them one by one

One more thing on FFA I just remembered. He played a pali in the real campaign, and he named his mount Fluttershy. So there's that.

>scum gets repurposed as bright red wall paint by the incoming hail of fire
>assassin somehow doesn't die instantly but gets both his legs blown off by a multilaser and gets taken in by the arbites
>these two are dying of laughter, somehow they find it amusing to no end, especially the fact the cops shot the girl along with them
>neckbeard firmly escorts them out for disturbing play with their cries of laughter, much to my relief because they had this unbearable, very loud and shrill, unchecked tard laughter

I should mention that I managed what both groups were doing at the same time, but for the sake of the greentext I separated the adventure of the psyker and guardsman, to which I'm getting now

>both chilling in the hotel room, what's the worse that could happen ?
>they call room service
>figure they want to just roleplay and learn a bit about the city (this was before the bar situation got out of hand)

>in retrospect, I should have understood he really hated these guys

Holy shit, my sides. This story is amazing.

Can't wait to read it again on reddit. Put me in the screen cap and I'll comment in the thread!

I get the sneaking suspicion that these players went it with the goal of trying to be as disruptive as possible and possibly to reenact Spoony's story: youtube.com/watch?v=DzOvTavIn40 Given all the snickering they were doing beforehand and all the blatantly stupid and psychotic behavior that was to follow.

>she's theirs now
my fucking sides

that was probably the case, but as I said, I am thorough and naive and I really thought I could turn this around
>the above clusterfcuk happened, requiring most of my attention, while the psyker and guardsman were ordering an increasing amount of liquor and random items from the room service
>so absorbed with the retardation of the others that I agreed to most of what they asked, regardless of realism
>figured they wanted to get their characters shitfaced, which was dumb, but infinitely less than what was happening with the others
>finally, the others are out of play, so I turn to the last two and ask them what they want to do, strongly hinting that we could still get along with the scenario if they wanted
>oh they just want to call the room service one last time ...
>ok then, whatever, at this point I just wanted to get on with it
>maid comes at their door
>I should also have thought that it should have been a steward and not a maid
>shit went from 0 to 11 in a split second
>their faces light up with murderous glee and their characters instantly seize her and start tying her up, the psyker using his powers completely randomly, throwing psychic shrieks around (which he acted) (these guys really had issues with screaming) and blasting force bolts in the hallway
>neckbeard hasn't been very involved for a while
>it's because he's laughing his ass off too
>they drench the maid in liquor
>mfw
>no, they're not going to
>oh yes
>oh yes they are
>they set the maid on fire and throw her out the window and into the street
>all the while screaming "FOR THE EMPEROR"

I bet the neckbeard's face was priceless at this point.

>FOR THE EMPEROR
Oh my fuck...

Fucking hell. This is not something you do.

THIS.
IS.
NOT.
SOMETHING.
YOU.
DO.

This story went from silly to rape/murder fantasy real quick.

>playing D&D 3.5
>we tell the DM that the encounters are a bit too easy (like 2 zombies against a party of 6, mostly level 2 characters)
>after some math GM decides that 24 gnolls attacking us during night is the right CR for us
>GM can't be bothered to throw all those dices so GM decides to use one dice roll for 12 gnolls at once
>she rolls 17 for initaitive, a group of gnolls act faster than us, while most of us are still lying on the ground, just woke up.
>20->19: critical hit confirmed for 12 gnolls.
>2 PCs are instantkilled while 2 others are into negative hp, rogue was hidden
>our cleric, who had 1 extra level, and a baby dragon, menages to kill most gnolls, while the other group of gnolls run away distracted by the drow-rogue casting dancing lights

>quickly enough, another arbites detachment arrived at the hotel
>while the psyker was looting anything he could from the hotel and the guardsman was murdering the people in the next room because "he heard them talk about chaos"
>arbites pulls out the loudspeakers, orders evacuation and orders them to surrender
>guardsman grabs his heavy stubber and starts shooting at them from the window to yells of "HERETIIIICS"
>clearly, he was the more lore-savvy of the bunch
>the cops tear-gas the place and break in the building
>firefight ensues, uneventful apart from the use of explosives to collapse a staircase (literally the ONLY good idea they had all game)
>psyker ends up triggering perils of the warp, cloaking the entire area in darkness for a few turns
>and then falling down the stair case they had brought down and dying from the fall damage
>guardsman commited suicide by grenade with one last "FOR THE EMPEROOOOOOR"

See, the reason why this is hard to believe is because you seem like a special snowflake teenager who, in contrast to the players, did not just spontaneously have a NyanCat show up to explode their brains before they went that far.
Or was this before 2010?

>made a quick modern day zombie setting in a few days, all pcs are friends new to pen and paper games
>to keep them on track and help them learn, i made a dmpc for just until they can handle themselves
>2 sessions in, they're doing good and i decide to end the night by killing my pc off
>also good for drama and telling them they're not immortal
>pc finds the infected character, decides not to shoot him
>rps about how much he loved him (wat) and how she couldn't accept him being dead
>not even mad because he's rping pretty well for a newbie
>after the game he apologized and said he didnt mean for it to come out like that
>admits to me he's been into me for a while and wants to be with me
>im already married to a woman
>blurt out "heh its okay, id be into me too"
>he looked sad and doesn't come on game nights anymore

for some reason I'm not feeling like a patient person today, and reading this just make me wish this story ends with them all IRL being taken outside and kneecapped.

holy shit those trips
holy shit that story
holy shit

I have always hated this random bullshit with a passion and I wasn't a standard teen in that I preferred to draw maps and complicated execution systems rather than do this kind of stuff
>finally wrote off the death of the assassin as being killed in detention by an inquisitorial cleaner
>the neckbeard escorted the two remaining retards out and I could hear some sort of argument outside
>still sitting there in shock
>this was the first game I mastered for people I didn't know
>this is a complete disaster
>I feel a bit choked up, looking at my carefully laid out notes and plans, my hand drawn maps of the sewers
>neckbeard comes back with two beers and starts explaining that they (him, the store manager and some friends) were actually looking forward to my game because they knew it would be a disaster and that it would give them the perfect excuse to kick them out of the store

spent the rest of the afternoon drinking beer and he actually helped me take what happened lightly
ended up laughing about how fucking stupid they were and a few weeks later I got to master this scenario for him and one of his friends

Have you tried growing a spine?

neckbeard sounds like a bro

yep, we're still friends to this day and although he's not really a very good player to have at your table (a bit of a rules lawyer and grognard) he's a great DM and a very cool guy
he also introduced me to gaming with older people, which brought its own problems, but was definitely better than THAT

that's
pretty fucked up

I got into the P&P RPGs when I was in college. I feel like i dodged a bullet with that.

...

Well I was about to start my first year of college at 17 (skipped two grades in middle and high school)
I never played with high schoolers again

samehere. I actually started playing in the military with my air force buddies, 2 of which ended up back in Pararescu and 1 in EOD. You'd have never taken them as being nerds but it's a universal trait

That's not even a That Guy story, that's just sad.

I hear a lot of the same from my military buddies. They always explained that since there's shit-all to do when you're sitting around on base, you may as roll funny-shaped dice.

One of the biggest of Those Guys that I played with was an ex military, had done some pretty rough deployments in Africa and got a fucked up "kill or be killed" mindset out of it
He used to have us play Deathwatch with his 9 year old son and he constantly berated and incapacitated his space-marine, supposedly to "toughen him up"
The kid cried every session it was a pain in the ass and creepy as fuck too
Not saying all ex-mil are like that but it's related to the thread

Most of them are weebs and nerds, why do you think so many military bring back asian wives?

>players are dressed up furries

I got bad news for you concerning your DM buddy

Jesus Chist someone needs to screencap this.

Do you have more stories about those guys?

So I don't know if this falls under "that DM" or not, but:

Joined a friend's Pathfinder game. I think it's her first time DMing? I'm not sure. However I'm kind of wishing I hadn't. She's not awful by any means don't get me wrong, but

>more interested in telling her story than the players' story
>ridiculous amount of world building to the point where the majority of the stuff she does will never even be seen by us
>tends to railroad players into doing what she wants them to do
>skill checks are next to useless, she'll flat out say "you know this/you would know this/you wouldn't whatever"
>gets pissy if anything even slightly anti-SJW is said, even if joking

Post it anyway. Take your time, we'll lurk.

He did. it's in this thread.

>playing PF
>group has a summoner and a sorcerer
>level one
>every combat we face, sorcerer casts color spray

This is fine, I get that it's a great low level spell, but

>player doesn't care if summoner's eidolon is in the way
>color sprays the eidolon
>summoner can now do nothing worthwhile for the group during the fights
>sorcerer casting spells more than he should be able to in a day's worth of casting for a first level character

Everything but the child rapist ranger, yeah.

There's a common theme here, 3.PF.
Shit game and shit players

Am I being That GM? Here's something I tend to like to do when I run for people I don't know well.

>Include a minority religion/cult
>They're weird, they live separately to most people, usually in some kind of barracks setup.
>They'll have at least one very strongly held belief about something that would cause great personal inconvenience but is not an instant death sentence (varies by rest of world setup)
>The reasoning they use to get to this position is dubious.
>The leaders and most of its missionaries are true believers in their beliefs, and are generally good, helpful people.

It has a 100% success rate of getting the players to run around in circles, trying to uncover the evil hidden agenda they obviously must have but in actuality they don't. I include them primarily to pull on peoples legs, in part because it really always works, and I have no idea why, other than perhaps the zeitgeist of a seemingly benevolent but weird church MUST be secretly evil or something.

just because that's the (currently) most popular system, and therefore attracts the most newbies(and shit players), doesn't make it inherently shit

it's shit for other reasons