ITT Warning Signs

Fun for zombie apocalypse campaigns.

>I want to play an intrigue game.

Why do shitbags always blame their autism on the anime?

>my character has a pre existing connection to organized crime

>*rolls dice without saying a word*
FFFFFUUUUCKING THIS! Every session, EVERY. GODDAMN. SESSION. FOR THE PAST TWO AND A HALF YEARS, I gotta remind the Mentalist player to TELL. ME. Just WHAT THE FUCK he's rolling the dice for BEFORE HE FUCKING ROLLS.
Other than that, he's an okay player, if a tad uninterested in shit that ain't combat, but I can deal with that.

way to only read part of my post. i said i inform them before hand and that they show up at my house already knowing the rules for the game.

only an asshole would wait until everyone was there to tell the players about the game

>the DM enforces and follows the rules that are there for a reason

because shonen anime protags are the type of characters who could carry like 30lbs of additional steel, on top of a survival load, while still expecting to have both hands free.

>you can't do this

Wow, I didn't realize fa/tg/uys really were that fucking useless.

see he had a bundle of torches, 50 fucking feet of coiled, heavy rope, water, rations,... the backpack was fucking full. and he had 3 weapons strapped to him, in addition to a full suit of armor.

yes, he might be simply mildly encumbered by the additional weight, but he had no place to put it, and expected it to all go magically into his backpack, because HE EXPECTED TO HAVE HIS HANDS FREE despite picking up 8 spears and 8 shields.

you either haven't read th thread, or you are actually mentally retarded and think that "weight" goes into a cosmic hammerspace when a person picks up an object.

>They demand to use point buy after everyone else rolled their stats

Warning signs, as in player red flags? I've got quite a few.
>getting excited when they roll a natural 20
>having depression or any kind of "soft" mental disorder
>not wanting to roleplay hunting / camping / survival stuff at all, while playing a ranger or druid
>not wanting to RP buying magic items (though this is understandable when there's a lot)
>metagaming about how doing X would be better for his character's "story"
>pointing out cliches/tropes in the campaign during actual play, out of character
>replying to OOC comments with "what's X (modern thing)?"
>constantly switching between IC and OoC
>not speaking in character at all
>not taking the initiative to the point where the GM asks "so you are doing [obvious way forward]?"
>making genderless / bisexual / transgender characters
>spouting tumblrisms in-game
>having the GM create an entire adventure involving the character's backstory including a huge ruined castle with over 200 areas, then quitting the campaign
>inviting his girlfriend to the game
>using the "world made of magic" argument for why his fighter can conjure tools not listed on his character sheet
>abusing vaguely worded abilities and getting into semantic debates
>getting salty when they take a critical hit
>blaming the DM when they run into an "unbalanced encounter"
>whining about a player using his own knowledge of a monster then retroactively justifying it with a knowledge roll, then continuing to get salty over it 30 minutes later
>wanting to play a non-core race
>wanting to play a non-core class
>saying that core wizards will break the campaign then realizing an actual campaign isn't his theorycrafted hugbox and getting BTFO then getting salty about it
>trying to plan the campaign for the DM then complaining when a "sidequest" takes longer than 2 sessions
>actually using the word "sidequest" in character.

Hmm... can't think of any off the top of my head but gave me an idea

>letting players BUY magic items
yeah that'd set off some alarms

Your group sucks.

Are hard mental disorders not a red flag?

Some more:
>saying shit like "I only have a 12 charisma"
>whining about rolling 12 13 14 14 14 13
>whining they don't start the campaign with an 18+ in a stat
>whining about actually having to think tactically for once
>whining and asking the GM "what CR is this encounter"
>whining when the GM tries to narrate combat and can't come up with a pulitzer-prize-winning description for every single hit
>whining when a character who takes 39 damage from a frost giant mace is "knocked backward onto the ground" for flavor but can get back up before he can bring his mace to bear again
>whining when a longbow deals 14 damage because they forgot that weapon specialization exists
>whining that they can't use second wind while unconscious and having to explain the unconscious condition
>whining that the magic item they want to buy is not available in town
>whining that almost all of the NPCs are human
>whining that there are no gay characters in the campaign
>whining that they were lured into a trap that would have required actual perception to get out of because "my character has a 23 perception"
>making sarcastic comments to the GM months after he forgets a minor detail and using this episode to gaslight him into getting free magic items until the other players cal him out on it
>whining about fighting 1st level orcs when the majority of orcs are 1st level warriors
>whining that they fight stuff in the wilderness that is "too easy" when they are level 15
>whining that the fight is "too hard" when they fought an owlbear at level 1 despite having spotted it from over 1000 feet away and it having not noticed them yet
>whining when the ranger in the party who never gets an spotlight time wants to RP hunting and setting up camp, when the player whining got an ENTIRE session dedicated to him wandering off and solo-ing a side adventure
>whining when you get BTFO after wandering off alone and explicitly saying you weren't telling anyone where you were going.

this.

depression is manageable. stuff like violent schizos, or registered democrats are the crazies to watch out for.

>letting players BUY magic items
I mean, I like making the setting a little bit "vidya" ish, like making most of the guards pretty tough to beat to kind of "reign in" mischeivous PCs and such. I don't know why i started doing this recently, it's some weird nostalgia kick I was on. I never even played Runequest or World of Warcraft of any of those MMOs. I just felt like putting a tinge of that into my settings.

Well depression isn't a real thing, for one. Everyone is depressed and suicidal sometimes, it's a normal part of life. If I could deal with it, they can. I don't spend my time saying "yeah I'm depressed" I just shut the fuck up and get on with life. If you want to kill yourself, just do it and shut the hell up already.

>whining about fighting 1st level orcs when the majority of orcs are 1st level warriors
This actually pisses me off. I'm currently playing a campaign, where our enemies are consistently too weak to pose any kind of a threat to us. There are a lot of them, yes, but we crush them like ants and barely get any XP for it.

What the fuck is wrong with people getting excited over rolling high?

There's nothing wrong with magic shops, unless you want an ultra low magic setting

>implying anyone who ideolizes either current party doesn't where their underwear as a HAT

People who cant stop talking about being depressed can be real annoying cunts, but you are just human filth if you really think people should kill themselves.

Maybe the guy is still running the campaign 5 months later?

Some more:
>constant off-topic conversation
>interrupting the GM talking to talk about some gay-ass youtube video
>PULLING UP THE FUCKING YOUTUBE VIDEO DURING THE SESSION
>raping immersion constantly in every hole by making retarded anime references
>getting offended by a doomsday cult because it's similar to christianity
>whining about fighting something that actually thinks and uses spells
>whining that they ran into a spellcaster 8 levels above them when hinted at not to
>whining about the hint and blaming the GM for the encounter even though no one actually died
>getting mad at another GM for having a deity act even slightly outside of alignment
>getting angry at the GM for making the story more interesting
>getting angry at the GM for not wanting to start another campaign for you and three other friends after you quit the group
>missing sessions because you feel depressed
>literally sitting in the next room playing video games
>quitting a campaign out of spite because people didn't like your campaign
>quitting a campaign because your character died
>using phrases like "tank" and "face" while talking in character
>constantly trying to bring in homebrew races
>using 3rd party content
>throwing dice at the wall after you roll a 1 and breaking a painting
>grabbing another player by the throat to mime what you did to him
>sexually assaulting a captured female NPC during a game in which a 13 year old child was present as a player
>throwing a bitch fit because another player won't lend you dice
>throwing a bitchfit because another player won't give you a ride home
>throwing a bitch fit because you went below 0 hp in a hilarious way and someone laughed at it
>throwing a bitch fit because you rolled three natural 1s in a row and accidentally hit another party member with your arrow
>throwing a bitch fit because wealth by level is too low even though you casually BTFO every encounter anyway

I could go all night.

It's appropriate in certain situations, but tiresome for most adventures where all you do is go to the dungeon, kill everyone, and then go back to town.

Well in that case it was a hunting party they ambushed and were angry that they didn't just happen to be 3rd level orc rangers. When they fought the orc leaders then it was an actual higher level encounter cause they had spellcasters and such. But yeah your frustration is valid. Personally I like to have encounters with gnolls or bugbears because at level 1 you need the entire party to fight 1 or 2 of them, but at level 8 or 9 a single party member can BTFO several dozen of them. It's a good way to show progression; they start a bit below the bar, then push themselves way above it. Whereas with orcs they start at the bar and just keep going. So, valid point.

It's more the "LOL NATURAL 20" meme autism that wears on you after a while, to the point where I just irrationally hate nat20s. I wish d20s only went up to 19. I swear to god.

Why? If someone's really gonna kill themselves then they are in a lot of pain. You want them to keep suffering? Protip: it doesn't get better, no matter how many YouTube propoganda videos they make to keep betas from becoming an heroes, so they can keep working their asses off to support Tyrone and Laquisha's weed habit and six bastard children.

I've only had supporters of one particular party bring up their politics in the middle of my game. The Hillary shilling was particularly galling as we are in Canada.

>getting excited when they roll a natural 20
A good thing you have 1/20 chances happens to you has occur? How dare you be happy about it!

I have clinical depression. Listen to me very closely: people who commit suicide deserve 0 sympathy. they are selfish, single minded idiots.

Exactly, I dont mind being reminded that carrying something while retaining a semblance of mobility would be odd, but for crying out loud, if it would take several trips to move the goods from point A to point B, don't make me detail everything and every trek if there is no way anything interesting happens during that time.

Along with having to manually move shit on the map with accuracy when moving between town 1 and town 2 for 15th time absolutely kills any interest for the game and makes the session drag out despite lack of actual content.

Is this all the same human being?
Also
>where are gays\i'm gay\why all of them are humans\etc
I'd GM this dipshit just to wreck his expectations.

That kind of nihilistic bullshit attitude is the reason you have to play with such people in the first place.

Dice falls off the the table and the GM doesn't demand that it be rerolled

Player doesn't roll openly

GM doesn't imply that it would really useful to invest in certain skills, then acts butthurt when no player has that skill

lol no it's not, it's because they are my good friends and because without me they would have no one to GM for them.

If you're just handwaving everything that you're doing on the adventure you're missing out on so much of the fun. Tracking turns, movement, wandering monsters, torchlight, and carrying the treasure back and forth makes a great experience.

You call someone who you think should kill themselves good friends? What?

But beside, the point, my sentence was somewhat misleading, what I meant to say was that others people attitude made them depressed, rather than it being your own doing.

>Is this all the same human being?
Yes. I just realized how fun it is to vent my frustrations.

>tiresome for most adventures where all you do is go to the dungeon, kill everyone, and then go back to town.
Then stop running those adventures. They are shit anyway.

>You call someone who you think should kill themselves good friends?
I had a friend who committed suicide and while I felt sad and cried for him I agreed with his decision.

Boi, do you GM online or IRL?
Also, why don't you give him proper CATHARSIS?

Tie the spears together with the rope, tie to top of backpack. Watch for doorways.

The shields, I got nothing. Eight shields is a fucking awkward load no matter how you slice it.

>Everyone is depressed and suicidal sometimes, it's a normal part of life.
Is a three year streak of crippling apathy and frequent suicidal thoughts normal in your view?

>If you want to kill yourself, just do it and shut the hell up already.
If I were motivated enough to do the things I wanted to I wouldn't have this problem.

This is some serious autism, and it deserves to be answered in kind.

>>getting excited when they roll a natural 20

What's wrong with getting happy that a good thing has happened?

>>having depression or any kind of "soft" mental disorder

I see where you're coming from, but have had great players with depression and shitty ones w/o

>>not wanting to roleplay hunting / camping / survival stuff at all, while playing a ranger or druid

At some point, you get kind of tired of being passive observers to one guy doing his specialty that few others tend to be able to help with, see also Shadowrun and hacking

>>not wanting to RP buying magic items (though this is understandable when there's a lot)

>Letting your players out and out buy magical items.

>>metagaming about how doing X would be better for his character's "story"

Understandable, but some people really like things to be narratively satisfying, and that's not necessarily a crime. Talk to your players, you fucking sperg.

>>pointing out cliches/tropes in the campaign during actual play, out of character

Yeah, okay, this gets to me as well, especially if they're fucking smug about it.

>>replying to OOC comments with "what's X (modern thing)?"

This one is also a legitimate annoyance, especially when they do it over and over

>>constantly switching between IC and OoC

Sometimes necessary, but yes, a bit annoying.

1/?

>>not speaking in character at all

I kinda get the frustration, but some players need a bit of work to grow - my group's had one wallflower coming out of his shell and really getting into playing his character after kind of a switch was flipped

>>not taking the initiative to the point where the GM asks "so you are doing [obvious way forward]?"

A fair frustration, but sometimes you as the GM just plain don't do a good enough job of telegraphing your railroad

>>making genderless / bisexual / transgender characters

Eh, I've seen bisexuals work out just fine, and it'd make very little sense for, say, a Warforged to have a gender. And trans characters are fine if they actually make use of the magical items in the setting to set things right and then never complain again

>>spouting tumblrisms in-game

Yeah, fair

>>having the GM create an entire adventure involving the character's backstory including a huge ruined castle with over 200 areas, then quitting the campaign

I'll take "Things that never happened" for 500, Alex

>>inviting his girlfriend to the game

If she stays, she plays.

>>using the "world made of magic" argument for why his fighter can conjure tools not listed on his character sheet

That's just being a powergaming fuckstick.

>>abusing vaguely worded abilities and getting into semantic debates

Fair and reasonable frustration. Talk to your player like an adult

>>getting salty when they take a critical hit

To be fair, some systems have exploding damage or the like and I've personally had a character be taken from full health to dead because of that before, or knocked out in i.e. D&D before my turn in initiative due to high damage from a crit. Kinda sucks.

Besides, players get attached to their characters, you turbo autist.

>>blaming the DM when they run into an "unbalanced encounter"

user, are you pulling a JRPG "supposed-to-lose" fight, or waving your GM willy about and throwing cryohydras at level 3 characters?

>>whining about a player using his own knowledge of a monster then retroactively justifying it with a knowledge roll, then continuing to get salty over it 30 minutes later

I...what?

>>wanting to play a non-core race

Sometimes Non-core is an actual viable alternative and not just snowflake wank, but I understand where you're coming from.

>>wanting to play a non-core class

Sometimes a better alternative than >Suck
or
>Be caster

>>saying that core wizards will break the campaign then realizing an actual campaign isn't his theorycrafted hugbox and getting BTFO then getting salty about it

Some GMs are too permissive with the theorycrafting fucknuggets, though, and let the 3.5 caster supremacy meme actually rule the day. Silly of the mofo to get salty though.

>>trying to plan the campaign for the DM then complaining when a "sidequest" takes longer than 2 sessions

What the fuck even goes on in the mind of such people. That said, "sidequests" can really fucking suck, especially if they're focused on one character and their redemption and nothing else, and just sometimes it's like pulling teeth - I'm looking at you, priest, you know who you are.

>>actually using the word "sidequest" in character.

Actual legitimate gripe.

Nigga. You use a shield like a sled. Put everything including the backpack on the sled. Even better is he doesn't lose value on the sled shield when he sells it. Sell that one on the D&D version of etsy at a mark up because "Vintage."

Not my fault y'all can't IMAGINATION

I run games irl. I have never GMed on roll20. I played on it with friends once when a player wants to run a game but we couldn't meet up so we did roll20 instead. I fucking hated it. Oh wait I did run a couple sessions of an already-existent campaign over Skype when a player was out of state for an extended period of time, but we ended up playing once a month during that time because we'd all rather just play IRL for fuck's sake.

I've handled the whole loot thing a few different ways.

My first attempt was just to rule that any dungeon that would be "safe" when the players finished their objective would be automatically looted. I didn't really like this though since it left a lot of tallying to keep track of, and it always frustrated my players when they got to the end only to have some of the more lucrative dungeons come crashing down and trap everything inside after their escape, or for reinforcements to show up and make them have to enter again to get everything.

So then I tried creating a mage spell, Midas Touch. It would convert a target item into its value in gold pieces. This led to further munchkining where players would instead sneak around town Midas Touching whatever they could find with high value, and a certain wizard who replaced all of his spells with Midas Touch, and then wrote Midas Touch scrolls, and finally a Midas Touch potion, which didn't work as planned since the value of living entities was usually low, but did function as a wonderful assassination item leaving only a bit of gold dust behind by whoever drank it.

Finally, I just lowered the resale value of most dungeon loot to nil by either making enemy weapons out of worthless materials and boosting their damage with buffs and higher stats, loot was provided as either a specific item (Magic swords/armor/etc) or as a valuable object (Gemstones, statuettes, etc.).

During all this, there was a player who took a page out of Dungeon Siege and had several packmules follow him around everywhere, which caused great frustration to the rest of the party because of the time spent managing them and the complete lack of stealth or flexibility the group had. This culminated in the player refusing to navigate places where his mules couldn't follow, and made frontal assaults the only choice for a lot of places.

>What's wrong with getting happy that a good thing has happened?
Because it's a 1 in 20 occurrence you don't need to have a fucking orgasm each time like my group does.
>I see where you're coming from, but have had great players with depression and shitty ones w/o
The problem is not the depression, it's them constantly bringing it up, or using it as an excuse not to attend games.
>At some point, you get kind of tired of being passive observers to one guy doing his specialty that few others tend to be able to help with, see also Shadowrun and hacking
Except those same players will also take the spotlight for an entire session and no one else got mad because they were being polite.
>Letting your players out and out buy magical items.
Yeah I do allow this, assuming the store actually has the one they want, which is rare.
>Understandable, but some people really like things to be narratively satisfying, and that's not necessarily a crime. Talk to your players, you fucking sperg.
That's fine except when they do this during the fucking game. Or trying to narratively control the story and make the whole thing into some gay-ass creative writing exercise. If we're going to do that, we might as well play FATE instead of D&D and stop pretending we are roleplaying.

Also quit fucking reddit spacing, you don't need to hit the Enter key twice after every line. It makes your post look like spaced out gibberish. It's disgusting.

>I kinda get the frustration, but some players need a bit of work to grow
They've had almost 7 years to grow. It's not gonna happen and it's not up to me to babysit them anymore.
>A fair frustration, but sometimes you as the GM just plain don't do a good enough job of telegraphing your railroad
It's not a railroad at all. They literally do fuck-all when presented with the situation. They don't ask additional questions, they don't take initiative. Only one player did that and he quit the group because his girlfriend died.
>I've seen bisexuals work out just fine
Yeah, so long as they shut the fuck up about it. Which they almost never do.
>I'll take "Things that never happened" for 500, Alex
Hahahahahaha oh I wish it had never happened, that's a dozen hours of my life I can never get back. At least it was fun to make. Oh and this fucking nigger knew I was doing all this work, too, but no he wanted to hang out with his 400 pound girlfriend on Friday nights instead. Fuck him.
>If she stays, she plays.
I wish she'd just piss off. She gets involved in the story then starts skipping sessions. Like most women, she doesn't give a fuck about the game, only the beta orbiters.
>That's just being a powergaming fuckstick.
It's the same when they want to do unrealstic bullshit without the aid of magic or high skills.
>Talk to your player like an adult
They just get pissy and start lashing out passive aggressively and never hear the end of it. Worst part is the player found out his class is underpowered so now he feels entitled to DM pandering.

>Because it's a 1 in 20 occurrence you don't need to have a fucking orgasm each time like my group does.

I mean, sure, if they're actually shrieking like howler monkeys at every nat20, fine. Otherwise, I do figure a little "Yes!" or somesuch is fine.

>The problem is not the depression, it's them constantly bringing it up, or using it as an excuse not to attend games.

Okay, that's legitimate

>Except those same players will also take the spotlight for an entire session and no one else got mad because they were being polite.

Well there's a bunch of fucking context we didn't have before. Fucking cunt.

>Yeah I do allow this, assuming the store actually has the one they want, which is rare.

I guess that's fine, even if magic item stores really cheapens the experience for me

>That's fine except when they do this during the fucking game. Or trying to narratively control the story and make the whole thing into some gay-ass creative writing exercise. If we're going to do that, we might as well play FATE instead of D&D and stop pretending we are roleplaying.

Yeah, okay, if people are completely trying to circumvent or bend the rules, then I get it

Also, nigga, I have never been to plebbit, I just have some fucking compassion on poor fucks trying to read the thread and not wanting to be assaulted by walls of text.

>Besides, players get attached to their characters, you turbo autist.
Yeah so did I but I didn't throw a bitch fit even when my first character died when I was a fucking 12 year old child. Thirteen years later I expect people to be a bit more mature.
>waving your GM willy about and throwing cryohydras at level 3 characters?
They cannot expect that everything they run into is a fight they can win. They need to pick and choose their battles. If I was being "realistic" they would have a good chance of running into owlbears at level 1 and maybe even being ambushed by them and dying in the first encounter. I don't pull that shit, but when they see an orc one-shot the orc leader that beat up two party members, they decide "yeah let's attack"? Or they run into an owlbear knowing that it takes an experienced fighter to fell such a beast, and they are level 1? Or they rush into a challenging encounter 2-3 levels above them (which is perfectly fair game) without scouting or thinking at all? If you think that having encounters of level above the PCs is a dick GM move, then you are the kind of cancer that is killing D&D. Stop metagaming, stop whining, stop doing all this other gay shit and just play the fucking game.

>They've had almost 7 years to grow. It's not gonna happen and it's not up to me to babysit them anymore.

7 years a spineless beta DM

>It's not a railroad at all. They literally do fuck-all when presented with the situation. They don't ask additional questions, they don't take initiative. Only one player did that and he quit the group because his girlfriend died.

Shitty players for what sounds like a less-than-engaging DM

>It's the same when they want to do unrealstic bullshit without the aid of magic or high skills.

Wow, you've got shitty players. You either deserve better and are too spineless to get it, or you deserve these fucks

>They just get pissy and start lashing out passive aggressively and never hear the end of it. Worst part is the player found out his class is underpowered so now he feels entitled to DM pandering.

This is fucking cartoonish. How have you not just fucking quit yet?

>Yeah so did I but I didn't throw a bitch fit even when my first character died when I was a fucking 12 year old child. Thirteen years later I expect people to be a bit more mature.

What is empathy, you shitheaded chucklefuck

>They cannot expect that everything they run into is a fight they can win. They need to pick and choose their battles.

Not entirely untrue, but holy fuck, dude, read the goddamn room. Work with your players, not against them. At the same time, they also need the stupid beaten out of them, but they clearly have been enabled for too long, and are now set in their ways.
Good going.

>Implying rules are always there for a reason

The thing about tabletop RPGs is anyone can make them.

>I handled this poorly in many ways

>I...what?
They got mad that a player knew X monster was immune to X, then he rolled a planar knowledge check to justify it, then the players continued to argue saying that his character shouldn't have known to make the knowledge check (???) because it was started with out of character knowledge.
>Sometimes Non-core is an actual viable alternative and not just snowflake wank, but I understand where you're coming from.
I don't care if it's a viable alternative. I'm sick of putting new races in my setting. Kitchen sink settings suck more shit than a toilet drain at a Chipolte's restaurant. Fuck that.
>Sometimes a better alternative than suck of be caster
Then play a spellcaster. No one is stopping you. Playing a special snowflake class does nothing to fix that.
>What the fuck even goes on in the mind of such people.
He wanted a sidequest for his character but didn't want it to take up time then got pissed at me for turning it into an actual adventure. Even though they weren't doing shit as it was.

>7 years a spineless beta DM
Kill yourself faggot. I've DMed more games and created more enjoyment for these people than you have probably ever brought to anyone. And despite everything I'm bitching about I still enjoyed it, and got to game more than you probably ever will. Now, get off Veeky Forums, you need to keep an eye on the little guy, if you wife gets home from clubbing with Tyrone and Jamal and finds out you haven't changed her son's diaper she might not give you sex this month.
>Shitty players for what sounds like a less-than-engaging DM
See, I don't have this problem with my other group, who say I am a very engaging and flexible GM. So, no, they just suck ass at playing these games. Also, when I play, I take the fucking initiative.
>Wow, you've got shitty players. You either deserve better and are too spineless to get it, or you deserve these fucks
I choose to continue DMing for them. So I guess what I "deserve" doesn't really matter.
>This is fucking cartoonish. How have you not just fucking quit yet?
Because have you seen the desperation in roll20 threads? A stable group of good friends to play RPGs with is like being a millionaire with a banging hot girlfriend, in RPG terms. Sure they have a lot of issues but it's better than what most fa/tg/uys have.
>What is empathy, you shitheaded chucklefuck
What is, expecting a modicum of maturity?
>Not entirely untrue, but holy fuck, dude, read the goddamn room.
You mean, suck their cocks because that's what they want?
>Work with your players, not against them.
I do, faggot, I basically created the entire campaign around their shitty backstories and gave them shittons of opportunity to develop and pursue their individual goals. They did nothing. They want to be spoonfed. Fucking millenials.
>Good going.
You think this is my fault? I didn't teach them to be like this.

Jesus, how many more buzzwords could you have fit in there?

Most of that sounds like his basic starting gear. The only thing that's tricky to carry is the spears and shields.

Of course, this is also only a problem if you A) encourage players to scrounge for every bit of loot by making them think mundane weapons are really worth anything to re-sell, B) don't give your players easy access to some sort of cart or wagon that would allow them to carry this loot, as well as the hundreds of pounds of gold they'll surely get later on, and C) actually caring where he's carrying all this stuff and if he has his hands free, when apparently the dungeon is already empty and there's nothing that would demand his attention.

If he did get surprised in a fight, it wouldn't take any sort of action to drop all that crap anyway. It might break, but who really cares?

Jesus, how much more of a useless pointless reply could you have made?

You should be more sensitive to mental disorders, given the huge amount of autism you're showing.

Or they also have other deep seated mental disorders. There are no absolutes, you can't just lump everyone into one set and call it a day. Yes, it's pretty much the most selfish thing you can do but they still deserve help.

I'm really sorry about this, I do it a lot. The problem is that my brain tells me to get the information, then inform, instead of inform, get information, inform again. I skip a step this way which can be useful, games always get bogged down, but I know it's important. I once got a very large critical success on an action I hadn't declared with permanent consequences and I still feel bad about that even though the ref gave it to me.

>bitching about useless replies while making pointless replies

Honestly, a sadistic part of me wants them to fucking goes through with their suicidal moaning, especially when some of their complaints are so first-world problem that I can't wrap my head around it.

I know depression is debilitating, even if I can't understand your reason. Fuck, I used to go through some bad time myself. Still, at least go see a psychiatrist or something cause none of your gamebuddoez are qualified as life counselor.

Bringing your personal shit into the game kills the one thing that brighten up my shitty week.

>but you are just human filth if you really think people should kill themselves.
They shouldn't because it's incredibly selfish and cowardly, but they deserve to die in the first place for being so amazingly selfish and cowardly.

SARCASM ALERT
So why not kill them yourself? If you don't want to put up with bullshit and they're the problem, then solve it for them instead of expecting them to solve it themselves.

Because eugenics is unfortunately illegal, user.

Yeah it looks like you fucked up multiple times. Especially the midas touch on the gold pieces. That kind of weird "meta" mechanic / item just drives me nuts. My DM had something similar, he had chests that would teleport the loot back to town for us once we "completed a level." Whole thing felt like a video game. He's also teleported us and outright used his "DM powers" to move us to other planes. Like, that was the in-game explanation, too.

I don't have autism, though. Like, it's been proven with a fucking test. Unless not tolerating bullshit like (((depression))) is considered to be autism.

>Otherwise, I do figure a little "Yes!" or somesuch is fine.
Except when they call it out and the entire table laughs. Fuck it.
>Okay, that's legitimate
Yeah damn right it is. Glad you see sense on something at least.
>Well there's a bunch of fucking context we didn't have before. Fucking cunt.
I literally put it in the post. Read further up the thread and read my posts again.
>Yeah, okay, if people are completely trying to circumvent or bend the rules, then I get it
No they are trying to circumvent events taking place naturally in the game because they suck at roleplaying and want me to do it for them.

>core only

You're boring. Every other point you make is right though.

>magic item shop
Do people actually frame things this way? All I do is tell the GM what it is I'm getting for my character and we work together on how that appears in the story.

>letting players BUY magic items
>yeah that'd set off some alarms

Depending on the system this is the correct way to do it. 3.5/PF is the obvious one, where magic upgrades and weaponry are baked into CR. The game makes the assumption that players are completing their "builds" in a certain amount of time (the time is usually expressed in wealth-by-level, but Pathfinder actually has systems where players automatically get the equivalent of "Belt/Headband of X" or "Magic Weapon +X" at certain level-based benchmarks), and if the GM is not making those items available to the players by those times he is literally doing it wrong.

There's nothing stopping you from just figuring out what stats they need and having all of those items coincidentally drop or something, but that's far less efficient (and more work for you) than just letting them buy the damn things, and it seems kind of disingenuous to boot.

Now, if we're talking about something like Lamentations of the Flame Princess then sure, it's made explicit that the equivalent of the magic marketplace doesn't exist and the game isn't intended to support it. But it's worth pointing out that not every game is LotFP. It seems like every GM's first instinct when handling magic items is "they should be powerful and rare! The players realistically shouldn't be able to expect to purchase the ones they need with any degree of consistency!", which, while probably realistic, breaks some games.

For example, the Pathfinder Fighter who cannot for the life of him find a belt of +physical stat is literally being denied the intended game experience.

>Well depression isn't a real thing, for one.
Well damn, is the person behind this post a team of medical researchers with MDs and PhDs? I thought it was just some fuck in his mom's basement.
But please, enlighten us, user; where is your peer-reviewed journals suggesting you're correct?

I mean, you're here.

>"My character is fat"

>They got mad that a player knew X monster was immune to X, then he rolled a planar knowledge check to justify it, then the players continued to argue saying that his character shouldn't have known to make the knowledge check (???) because it was started with out of character knowledge.
Obviously they don't know the whole 'I know trolls are weak to fire, but let's roll to see if my character does' trick.

What? I ran a basic as fuck dnd campaign and it lasted nearly a fucking year and was only starting to wrap up, relax you fucking baby.

you're an outrageous faggot. just saying. but most roleplayers are these days it seems.

So witty, user; have a (you) for (you)r vast and amazing intellect.

Why do you even bother playing if all this shit upsets you?

I do this shit all the time.
>GM: It's an espionage game guys!
>Me: Guess I'll make a 'Go Loud' character to fill the niche if/when we fuck up
>Everyone else has does the same
>We are AMPLIFIED

How the fuck is committing suicide "Selfish"

It's incredibly inconsiderate to pretty much everyone who knows you; not only do they now have to mourn, they also have to deal with the possibility that they could have done something about whatever warning signs you were throwing off and didn't.

Bullshit, even in high magic the "ye olde magic shoppe" trope is still a vidya flavored crap solution.

If you treat magic like mundane stuff it will stop being 'magical'.
Magic can be powerful, pervasive abundant... but never expected. The 'magic shop' archetype isn't consistent enough to fit in said concept, unless it's elaborated in a convincing way.

E.g. if my players in my high magical setting ask about some place where buy 'magical charms' some npc will say to them "well.. there are stories about an old hag living by the woods who, they say, will be willing on selling strange, sorcerous objects to whomsoever is willing on face some 'risks'"

Generally agree with you.

Also if you're going to have a "Magic Shoppe" in the middle of a city, don't give it a set catalog. All things should be ordered on demand with a big chance of some sort of failure to make the item or the player getting gypped by the shopkeeper.

Because it totally destroys any and all investment anyone had in you as a person; whether it be physical, emotional, economic, etc.

As an act, it is extremely costly (you die) for an immediate benefit (you don't feel bad anymore), but is ultimately nothing more than an impulsive act to "fix" a problem.

It's effectively saying "I feel so fucking shit all the time, I'm actually going to kill myself to escape this torment. Ignore the fact that while it'll get rid of suffering, it'll also get rid of EVERYTHING, and I'm potentially leaving behind loved ones or friends because of my own selfish cowardice to just take the easy way out and not actually deal with my problems."

Fuck suicidals, and fuck anyone who calls them "brave".

It's wrong to kill yourself, but they should anyways because of just how much of a shit person they are to even consider it seriously in the first place.

>Wow, you've got shitty players. You either deserve better and are too spineless to get it, or you deserve these fucks

In either of those cases he deserves it though.