A thread describing movies as Veeky Forums encounters?

Pinocchio (didn't know it was known outside of Italy)
The Room

>(didn't know it was known outside of Italy)
It's because of Disney. They made a movie out of it and a theme park ride.

I gotta say though. I lived in Italy for a month and local Pinocchio trinkets were everywhere. Every city I went to had Pinocchio stuff hanging outside. Not the Disney stuff, but wooden with a red outfit.

It would be like if every story in America sold Paul Bunyan or Johnny Appleseed toys.

Requesting Kung Fu panda.

I was thinking of it but I'm no good at this so I'm just waiting in anticipation.

>Got a cool sci-fi game planned. Add a few fantasy tropes here and there to spice things up, like magic and making melee combat viable.
>Run the setting's background past the players, but only one seems to pay attention to it.
>Characters are rolled up, planning to start with all of them aboard a ship fleeing the bad guys.
>Some people can't make it to the first session, others are running late.
>Start with the three who turn up; one playing a diplomat/face sort of character (who begged me to be some form of royalty), one playing ANOTHER diplomatic character, taking the bilingual feat so many times I lost count, and a skill monkey
>Game opens, bad guys board the party's ship which holds the MacGuffin. With two diplomatic characters, hoping for some persuasion rolls and good RP with one of the BBEG's main henchman.
>Nope. Player with the royal decides to go all guns blazing, giving the MacGuffin to the other two, who jump into an escape pod. Royal tries to fight the villian's troops singlehandedly, and gets one-shotted.
>Player throws a hissy fit so I only make them unconscious.
>At this point, two more players show up, including the one who actually paid attention to the setting.
>Two robot players end up with the newbie, and eventually they meet with the fourth player.
>New player is playing a character with good piloting and sharpshooting, the player who read the setting rolls up a knight who served in a now outlawed holy order.
>Newbie really likes the knight's abilities and wants to change class, I tell him he can multi-class once he gains a level.
>Have the bad guys kill off the Newb's character's family to keep the party motviated.
>Meanwhile, That Guy who's playing the Princess is RPing with the BBEG and is saying the cheesiest shit possible.
>End session with the main group arriving in the local town.

Pretty obviously star trek

Star Trek

Guessed after the third line

New Hope

Star Trek. Wrath of Khan.

Space Balls obviously

>Session Two, and the other two players show up.
>These two are best friends IRL and often do characters with tied backstories, and today is no different.
>Playing two petty criminals, with one playing an alie
>The party all meet up in the bar. They're doing okay so far. Newbie's character got over the family's death quickly, but he's new so its no big deal.
>A bounty hunter shows up, but the Human Criminal wins intiative and kills him. They all get in their spaceship and fly off, MacGuffin in hand and heading for the Royal's home planet
>At this point the Royal's player starts complaining about the lack of stuff for them to do and how being a prisoner is boring.
>Decide to allow them another RP with the bad guys, making me ruin a surpise I had planned.
>They use their superweapon to blow up That Guy's homeplanet... and he barely reacts, which makes sense considering he put no effort into it in his backstory.
>Regardless, main party finally show up on the scene and infiltrate the evil space station holding That Guy.
>They split the party; the old knight goes one way, the robots stay in a command centre and the two criminals and pilot go off to resuce That Guys.
>Some fun RP and firefights ensue, although That Guy mocks the newbie's character as soon as they first meet.
>It seems like they're all gonna get away, when the BBEG's main henchman shows up again, blocking the Knight's player.
>First time seeing the henchman in combat. Knight ends up sacrificing himself.
>Others escape with some dogfighting.
>Final battle coming up; an all out attack on the Space Station. However some IRL stuff comes up and the two Criminals' players have to leave.
>Newb and NPCs assault space station, but its going poorly, when I get a text.
>When all seems lost, I quickly go to my front door and sneak the two missing players back in, allowing them to join in and save the day.
>Space station blows up, end game with medal ceremony

This guy got it

Toward central Italy there's a lot of picturesque small town that thrive mostly on tourism, where 'botteghe' and small artisan shops are quite commonplace. If you are an artisan and make wooden toys and souvenirs, Pinocchio is pretty much a must-have symbol to hang at your shop window, mostly because most Italians from the past two or three generations have read Pinocchio when they were kids.

Some weeb shit, probably

And mostly because Pinocchio is set in Tuscany and was written by a (((Tuscan)))

Yeah, I'm gonna say Legend of the Galactic Heroes.

Wizard of Oz??

Well, sure, that too
(I drove past Collodi's park just yesterday)

Somebody do The Big Lebowski.

It's blade runner, isn't it.

That was pretty well done, however
>rouge

the +CHA shoes gave it away

bro, we get it, it's Eragon

>Okay, so your character's busy trying to seduce the restaurant owner by fixing up her restaurant, and you guys are helping him for some reason.
>I get that, it's a little weird for truckers, hobos, and a valet, but I get that...
>But then there's this fucker, whose gangster's not even met you guys, and I don't even want to get into his shrimp magical realm.

This sounds like Tampopo but it probably isn't.

Correct!

>Have a kung fu setting with 5 characters who have risen to fame, have their own palace.
>New guy wants to join
>It's the fat guy's first time so I'll make his character really important.
>He rolls up a level 1 pacifist monk with cooking skills to join our group.
>Everyone rolls their eyes. They need a bard, if anything.
>Whatever, lets roll with it.
>Fat guy is from the village surrounding player's palace.
>Palace is holding auditions for new recruit. First challenge is reaching the top of a 1,500 stair climb.
>Strength roll...monk critically fails and falls down the stairs.
>Somehow finds a firework cart and gets on top of it.
>Everyone is rolling their eyes, but I want to help him out.
>Lights all the fireworks at once and holds on.
>I roll a dice behind the screen. It's a 1.
>"You land right in the middle of the audition! Crushing girl player."
>Girl player is being a dick and tries to push new guy out.
>DMPC shows up and calls Fat Guy the Chosen One.
>Next few hours are training the fat guy with martial arts.
>A message comes from the north, unbenownst to the team.
>A great evil has escaped.

Kung Fu Panda, took three lines

Shouldn't have taken that long, as he wrote it on request.

Nono, it's FInal Fantasy 12

>This is a multi-part campaign
>Me and other players are in the same world even if we play in different sessions
>Have a STR 20 feeling that the GM favours another group more than mine, especially since that group is made of two others that temporarily merged
>Be playing knight
>Dex score over the top
>GM was pissy about it and in a long ass character art made me lose a hand, and with it a good chunk of my Dex score
>Be still in a good relations with other players of my group despite having had colossal party drama
> one plays a badass ex-mercenary, now a knight, knighted after one of the major battles of the setting
>the girl in the group is playing in incestuous sister (I bet this sorge GM's magical realm), which is also a queen
> the new guy plays a king-pirate-adventurer that really fucking enjoys murdering everything that he is needed to murder
>we are at war with the other group which has the GM's gf, which is a Mary Fucking Sue
>we are winning this war tho trough strategical acumen and good rolls

Cont

>surprise surprise
>both our groups are merged temporarily because some of us are gonna meet in battle
>some as "me, mercenary and the new guy" and "GM's gf"
>new guy is convinced by the mercenari to just for this time use an npc noble knight
>who also has a name which is easy to make fun of with dick jokes
>new guy's not salty at all about it
>meet in battle GM's gf
>It's bullshit
>it begins as us with some hundred or so man at arms against a fuckhueg light cavalry horde
>I order to brace and yaddeyaddeyadda all that counter-cavalry formations stuff
>The gf presents herself on the battlefield riding a dragon
>Mfw we lose a good dozen of men every time she attacks
>In the meantime me and Ser Dick-joke start raking up kills
>The ex-mercenary in the meantime is trying to shoot down Mary Sue on Wings trough some archery rolls and exotic weapons proficiency
>a hit lands, the GM wants to fiat it away
>we manage to rule lawyer him into counting the hit and menace him of leaving the game
>he is too much of a sissy to say no
>GM's gf is now tending to the downed dragon
>I charge in on my horse to kill her
>I almost die because the dragon decides it would be nice to spit fire in my face
>I survive because new guy manages to throw me off me horse and into the nearby river

Second line, already obvious it's GoT

Spoilers mang.

Is some user crazy enough to make on of these of LoGH?

>One guy really wants to play a space opera setting
>Like, really wants to play one
>Writes this whole tragic backstory, basically forces the rest of the group to make aliens
>Rest of the group is tried of his shit, makes the least cohesive party ever
>Eventually, after lots of fights, comedy, and fantastic rp, the group agrees to follow annoying shit, and that his plotline is kinda interesting
>His girlfriend joins, makes tough as nails space nomad human babe
>Oh boy, here we go
>Actually reigns in annoying shit, game gets considerably better
>"Classically trained actor" player reveals he was evil all along! Muhahahahahahahaha!
>No one is surprised but dude who only shows up to every other session, but made a crafter so he could still be useful
>After many hours, DM isn't sure how to end the game
>Annoying shit: "Evil incorporeal magic space nazis are used to power the mcguffin!"
>Sure, lets go with that.

>I'll name the planet...
>Steve

My man, I was expecting a greentextization of Titan AE since it was first mentioned in the thread

Actually did this one.

>one-off campaign for then-12-year-old brother
>using his usual character, a legendary-hero ranger dipping into thief
>The kingdom is being threatened by a dangerous rebel faction that has captured a fortress to the north
>They've captured a high wizard and the crown prince and are holding them ransom
>To try to keep his son alive as long as possible, the king cannot make overt action
>You're on his own for this one
>Master-at-arms gives you a scrying mirror (standard nobility magic) to stay in contact and seek advice
>Sneak into castle
>Find high wizard
>He's missing one arm and one leg, cauterized shut
>Rebels are raising a massive earth elemental based on old charter magic
>Requires the blood of the high mage's lineage and the royalty's lineage to summon
>Wizard succumbs to his injuries after telling you this
>Leave the body, a guard with a suspicious voice accosts you
>tense standoff
>my brother rolls to grapple bc unarmed proficiency
>Knocks helmet off, it's the prince in disguise
>Get prince up to speed
>Prince Merrill agrees to join your party
>Only way out is forward deeper into the dungeons
>Descend into bowels of fortress
>Suddenly prince starts acting strange
>Mindflayer imprisoned in fortress dungeons released by the rebels, on the loose
>Takes control of prince
>Tense combat with mindflayer
>Finally win
>Prince thanks you, offers to heal your wounds with royal spells

Fuck my group. Strap in.
>Half the players doesn't show up for the first session
>The only two who did hand me their character sheets
>They're barely legible and the paper is ripped and beat to shit, like they just scrawled something out during the car ride over
>One's a fairly bog standard bard. High charisma, but fuckall for int
>The other, a rogue, decided he could game the system if he focused on int to make up for what his partner lacks
>Combined their charisma is through the roof
>But neither of them prioritized actual combat

first encounter
>Rogue decides we'll start the session swindling thugs out of their gold in the alley behind the inn
>All the while the bard is playing music to keep the public busy, unaware that his melody is actually a spell causing the dice to roll favorably every time
>Thugs quickly catch on because seriously they make EVERY SINGLE ROLL win
>"Okay time to see if all that minmaxing payed off"
>Rogue rolls bluff. Fails immediately
>Bard, and I quote, "angrily plays his lute at them"
>Players start arguing OOC about how to play it off
>Immediately resort to dueling in character, despite my protest as PvP is and has never been allowed in my games
>I try to hand wave it by telling them they have no weapons. Because they don't. The only things on their character sheet is the clothes on their back and the lute.
>"Then I take the guards sword and aim it at him!"
>"What? No you ca-"
>"Yeah? Well I do the same!"
>Players start rolling to duel- no matter how many times I tell them they can't just take the guards weapons- but not actually doing any damage to each other, my head is placed firmly in my palms
>They fight all across the fucking market and out of nowhere fucking book it as everyone's distracted by the fight
>Eventually the mob catches up to them. By now they've managed to piss off half the town, one of which is a minotaur pit fighter. End up pinned against a 20 foot drop
>"I jump"
>"You what?"
>"Me too!"

cont.

>Not wanting to just TPK them five minutes into the game, I have them land in two conveniently placed barrels of water.
>The barrels are then nailed shut and loaded up on a ship without the dockworkers noticing
>Thinking I actually get these two back on the rails if I just ship them to a new environment all together

second session
>Several days and one stolen horse later (for some fucking reason one of the bard’s skills let him talk to animals) they’re following a map to the macguffin they were meant to win at the bar, but ended up just stealing from the men on the boat.
>Neither of the players have a single skill to help them navigate the jungle, they’re ALL charisma based.
>Wind up so completely lost they get captured by a tribe of lizardmen, too weak to fight and half dead from the journey.
>Lizardmen take them to their secret megacity hidden in the jungle and throw them at the foot of their chief to be sacrificed.
>”Wait why do they want to kill us? What did we do?”
>”You’re a human, they’ve probably never seen one before and don’t know what else to do with you.”
>Notice a glint in the bards eye when I mention them never seeing a human before
>He passes me a note. I slam my head on the desk
>”Alright. Fuck it. If you roll high enough I’ll let it pass. But good luck with-“
>You’ve got to be fucking kidding me

>”So the high priest and the chief descend from the ziggurat and to your surprise, bows before you. Repeating the following.”
>”My lords! As I had predicted, the gods have arrived to stand before us! Please my lords, what name shall we call you?”
>So what’s your godly name going to be? Bear in mind this is a roughly aztec kind of tribal who’s language is-
>”I am Miguel!”
>”And I am Tulio!”
>”And you may call us Miguel and Tulio”

And so begins a full campaign riding completely on luck, some of the most ridiculous bluff checks I’ve ever seen.

>Shitton of players
>Want to play a mecha game
>Have them all pilot it at once
>One of them doesn’t want to be a pilot OOC, so another character keeps the character from joining in
>Each time, I roll to determine who the main pilot is
>Kill off their character afterwards
>The more people die, the more tragic and detailed the remaining players make their characters' backstories
>Non-pilot is only one who lives at the end
>Tfw a campaign about fighting robots became a combat-light tragedy

Road to El Dorado

>Progressing deeper into dungeon
>Suddenly prince coughs
>You turn
>Blade at his throat
>You recognize the wielder
>It's the legendary old swordsman of no nation, Margei
>Aligned with the rebels against the king
>Challenges you to a sword duel for the life of the prince
>Tense sword battle
>Margei gets upper hand
>Suddenly, the shadows coalesce
>It's the King's Monomach, Griss Shadowstep
>Griss cuts off Margei's arm and disappears
>You grab the prince and hightail it out
>Your scrying mirror illuminates
>An unknown voice warns you of dangerous war machines in the courtyard ahead
>Sure enough, puzzle fight with a massive war machine spitting fire
>Just barely manage to figure out its weak spot and defeat it
>Keep going
>Find a nervous magician hiding after hearing the explosion
>He's the architect of the charter magic spell to raise the elemental
>Thought it would be used to defend the kingdom, not attack it
>Is useless in combat, but knows the fortress
>has a scrying mirror and will stay in contact with you
>Keep going
>Walking a narrow path between the ramparts
>Suddenly an arrow sinks into the prince's side
>He collapses
>A voice rings out from far off
>It's the disgraced former second-in-command of the King's Army, Lina Lupa, renowned for her keen eye with a longbow
>Have a tense archer duel, finally defeating her
>She gives a lengthy monologue & hands you her handkerchief as a token before asking to be put out of her misery
>My brother gives her an honorable death with the earnest solemnity only a 12-year-old can muster
>"As you walk away, you leave the handkerchief... for you have no more tears to shed."
>I see his fist clench involuntarily because he feels cool and badass

Bokurano. Easy.

Metal Gear?!

Here's your trophy. I took some liberties with tying in some characters, cutting some extra fights, and eliding a lot of the political stuff that, obviously, doesn't make sense in a half-baked homebrew fantasy setting.

All that's left is the Vulcan Raven fight (a knight in heavy plate with a massive machine gun bolted on the front, which my brother defeated by getting close and then using the barrel to flip him on his back, immobilizing him), and then the fight with your "white shadow" on top of the activated golem as it lumbered towards the kingdom capital.

It was a fun way to spend 9 hours of a shitty blizzard.

>GM tries to make a one man campain about ordinary life
>doing my thing, check calls for something interesting
>nat 20
>two in game hours later, meet strange dude
>use more lucky rolls to get OP and fuck with GM
>he gets pissed and makes self insert to kill my guy
>eventually shut down the "normal life" and kill GM's self insert
>he just quits
>mfw

The Matrix.

You forgot the part where the GM keeps hijacking NPCs, playing them totally out of character trying to kill the PC, and to add insult to injury he only has one character voice.

Honestly sounds like a fun time.
I've considered having an arc where the villains are basically Metal Gear villains before, I should actually get around to doing that sometime.

wanted?

Dude, anything is fun when you're doing it with your 10-year-younger clone. Which this brother is.

I've been thinking about a seven-person squadron tied into both the colors of the rainbow and the seven bodily materials of Ayurveda medicine. There's a seed of inspiration for you on the house.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dhātu_(Ayurveda)

>Been Running a Humans-only Spacefaring campaign with the same Players for the last 30 years using Traveller.
>It's pretty good.

wrong
bingo
Yep. Also forgot the part where he just gives me a +5 bonus in unarmed combat.

I thought the exact same thing my nigga

www.filmreroll.com

>DM just said "You're on a spaceship. It's massive. Everyone got amnesia."
>One player made a rogue with high Charisma, another one made a monk that doesn't even speak common, and there was some generic fighter guy.
>The DMPC has amnesia and is unhelpful, ship is largely empty. Party finally gets together and almost gets eaten by a weird trapper cannibal but talk him down into joining them.
>Some fights with evil monsters later, players run into the DMPC again and he turns out to be evil and crazy.
>Nat 20 perception, ship is not in space.

Alien: Cove Nant

Pandorum?

Yeah!

Great flick.

>starts single player RP-heavy modern campaign
>player makes a young professional struggling with insomnia
>meets DMPC on a work trip
>finds himself homeless
>makes a great diplomacy roll on his boss, gets free money for life
>???
>explodes a bank?

Fight Club

...

Darths and Droids is the longform version of this

>riding out a storm with your younger sibling as you gm a one-man campaign for him
That's comfy as fuck

Thanks, user. I'll check it out.

i stopped darths and droids with anh. it sort of fell off

>we want an all-Ranger campaign
>okay.jpeg
>he lets us apply templates to our companions and get more
>I put the Air Creature template on my Dire Rat and actually gets a varied team, one refuses to catch anything but fish and this Egg Golem she treats like a baby, and the last one puts the Earth template on EVERYTHING except the Lesser Kitsune, which has Fire

>we've been fighting two rival Rangers and their snake, cat, and Living Spell Stinking Cloud for a while now, and always winning handily

>time for a new boss, says GM

>hooks us in by having a mysterious benefactor invite us to a tournament through a fancy proxy - he sent a Bronze Dragon to receive a Sending from his original proxy, some maidservant, right in front of the party so we could hear
>we head out to sail to the announced location, but a huge storm breaks out and no normal ship can get through
>the enemy Rangers we usually fight ferry us across in disguise, because none of Fish Girl's fish were strong enough to carry them across and all I had for water crossings was a turtle so why not
>we get to the island, everyone has a feast in the castle, other Rangers are here for this tournament
>suddenly, a catfolk Psion shows up and starts yelling at everyone about how we're all weak and stupid, and how he's going to wipe them out with his superior psychic summons
>also turns out his maidservant was brainwashed all along, she was actually a medic
>he uses his PSYCHIC SUMMONS to beat a couple of other companions and steals them, even stealing my Fire Drake
>okay that's it, we're out of here
>NOPE, he steals my turtle and my Plant-templated Giant Frog, too
>I take the hits so my Dire Rat can escape
>and now he got my rat

>we've officially hit rock bottom
>but WAIT, I break the summon storage machine with a STR check, says GM
>neat.jpg

>now I'm leading an army of animal companions against a bunch of psychic copies of them, and Psion obviously tries to murder me
>another Psion shows up and saves me
>cont.

>PSION FIGHT
>COMPANION FIGHT

>GM says if this doesn't stop, everyone in the room is going to die
>it was at that moment I thought up the most idiotic plan
>I throw myself right between the Psions' powers, and die instantly
>summons look at me
>animal companions look at me
>GM plays sad music and describes everyone starting to cry
>Psions kiss and make up, rez me, and erase everyone's memories of what happened
>we're back at the harbor

>"hey guys, remember that giant bird from my backstory?" I say to the rest of the party
>"maybe it happened again"

Pokémon: The First Movie

Ding!

>having trouble finding players for campaign
>Have two guys, total edgelords
>One makes a huge fighter with a tragic backstory about being badly burned in a magical experiment that leads him to lash out
>Another makes a birdman loner who's faced discrimination from humans
>Immediately decide to become rivals
>Can't find any other players, when my little cousin shows up and decides she wants to play
>Makes a little girl char focused entirely on restraining people for some reason
>Edgelords spend all their time bickering, don't even care about the three headed demon I've set loose to destroy the kingdom
>Cousin tries to convince edgelords to save the kingdom for sunshine and rainbows and shit
>They get pissed, say stuff you really shouldn't be saying in front of a kid
>She decides to take on the demon on her own
>Edgelords feel bad and finally stop bickering and help her
>Team up and actually manage to win

Oh man, that's some tasty OP.

Game of Thrones?

Second floor basement?

>New campaign
>Only two players show up
>Both of them made bards with all their points in perform
>when they find this out they decide they must be brothers
>toss my notes and cobble something together.
>game opens with one picking up the other from the royal dungeons
>the two of them do some good roleplaying with each other in the carriage, then end up picking up a quest hook
>the quest is holy in nature, so they cant just steal to fulfill it.
>over the next couple of nights the rest of the party shows up.
>they never actually get told what the quest is.
>since everyone made bards, the campaign ends up having an emphasis on performance and cart chases
>in the end end up fleeing from the royal gaurd, another band of bards, and an apocalyptic cult with an eagle motif.
>campaign ends with everyone in prison.

Blues Brothers?

>make lovingly handcrafted low fantasy world
>ensure events are as realistic as possible in terms of consequences for player actions
>hate weeb shit, tell players to only do low fantasy stuff
>player 1 makes Str build Barbarian, chaotic neutral, tragic backstory
>player 2 makes Dex build Knight, true neutral
>party does pretty well, defeats most enemies handily
>surprise magical creature boss monster beats them but they both burn fate points to escape
>I decide the monster is honorable, have some great ideas about how to work him into the plot further
>PCs do some dickish things but it moves the plot forward
>player 1 keeps wanting his character to seduce tsundere female NPC sidekick, keeps nagging me, I won't let him
>player 2's character gets good in-universe reputation
>tries to become king of generic kingdom he was fighting for
>tell him he hasn't got that far yet, he demands rolls for it anyway in diplomacy and seduction stuff
>he fails and is out of fate points
>he would die, but he bitches about having to roll a new character so I say his character is tortured and has a permanent stat debuff instead
>meanwhile Player 1 is considering leaving because this is getting boring so I let him secude the NPC chick
>player 2 cops out and his knight uses the bullshit devil summoning artifact that was supposed to have just been a note in his backstory to get his stats back
>he offers player 1's character as part of the pact
>and rapes player 1's waifu just as a meme
>finally tell him he's done with that character, I'm letting his knight become the BBEG now, he has to roll a new one
>player 2 decides my campaign is stupid and quits
>player 1 is really pissed so I say he escaped barely alive and give him some good loot
>recruit new players
>cleric, rogue, swordmaster, no problems there
>add new challenging encounters, everyone has a good time
>promise everyone nothing will get too weeb

>finally player 2 returns with a new character
>mfw its a super kawaii Magical Girl

Is this Berserk?

yup
heres another one i like that will probably be easy to guess.
>friend and i find a new DM
>should be good.
>game opens with us getting engaged and running off to tell a close acquaintance.
>standard dark and stormy night, we come to a blocked road and the horse gets away.
>seeking shelter, find a nearby castle.
>some sort of party going on inside.
>we boggle for a bit at a bunch of bizarre nobles, and then the castles owner shows up.
>hes an insane sorcerer, and he invites us to stay the night.
>shows everybody in attendance his golem project, standard stuff.
>during the night in game, gm railroads both of us into having sex with the sorcerer
>my friend decides fuck it, and goes whole hog with this idea, and ends up trying to fuck the golem.
>sorcerer goes ballistic.
>new player joins, minmaxed as fuck with bonuses in int at the expense of being unable to walk.
>creepy dinner scene happens, new player gets to talk about his motivation.
>eventually, some more stuff happens, the dm goes full magical realm, and the finale is a big sequence of the sorcerer mind controlling everyone to sing and dance before his minions murder him.
>castle is teleported into a diffrent dimension and were left lying in a field in womens clothing.
the worst part was probably the dms friends watching the whole thing. i swear, they just wouldnt shut up through the whole thing.

We've all played that game with that kind of DM at one point or another. it's a horror show every time

Sounds like it was a pretty rocky trip. Did you guys eat any curry?

I don't know, with a game like that, you'd think meatloaf would be on the menu

Okay, I give up. At first I thought it was Batman, but the girl is throwing me off

...

Alright here's my attempt
>be playing a game of GURPS
>GM tells me My character starts as standard human
>human looking for salaryman job
>GM explains there's some strange thing going on in the park I'm close to
>Investigate
>GM says there's a giant lobsterman thing going on a rampage, singling out a particular kid with weird facial features
>Fuck getting a job, I got to save that kid
>Start going towards the lobster thing and try to intimidate it
>Lobsterman doesn't give two shit, says he's going to kill that kid because he laughed at him
>tell him something about fighting his own size and such
>He goes on about his backstory of how he became a monster
>Don't care, time to fight this guy
>Lobsterthing and me go at it
>Lobsterthing has natural armor can't get through with just punches
>Ask GM what I'm wearing
>Says three piece suit and tie
>Perfect.jpg
>Undo my tie and jump towards lobsterthing's face
>Get tie around one of his eyestalks and pull as hard as I can
>Lobsterman is pulled inside out
>Child thanks me or saving his life
>Decide for one year to do physical training and become a full time hero
>Right, like the GM's going to actually want to run thi-
>The kid's father is a really rich dude and founds the Hero Association.
>GM hands me a sheet with a readily made human character
>It's my character sheet... but with fucking ludicrous strength and martial powers beyond comprehension
>no Kung-fu though
>that's odd...

caped baldy adventures

It was Bob, the planet's name was Bob. And Titan AE is a beautiful and underrated film.

>GM is running Mutants and Masterminds
>his setting's "high supers" the same way D&D is high fantasy
>but we're all in-training
>That Guy runs Detonator, three guesses what he does
>decides that no matter what I do, he's heavily involved in my backstory
>another guy modifies his PC from a magical girl campaign he was in a few years ago, calls her Event Horizon
>third guy builds a speedster, names himself Nitro
>fourth guy goes and makes a temperature controller, Thermostat - stays in the background for half the campaign
>I figured I'd make some kinda Batman or Iron Man-type, maybe even a self-made Kamen Rider-style guy, name him Windup, but GM points me to his setting bible
>apparently there ARE no gadget heroes
>so much for that
>GM says I can keep the "studies people's powers" thing, though
>okay
>Session 0 is us establishing backstories
>Detonator bullied my PC his entire childhood but I was too busy thinking all the people with powers were cool to be mad
>then I got caught up in a fight between Detonator and some sewage thing
>almost died, but then not!Superman saved me
>saw my notebook full of in-universe character sheets
>injected me with not!Kryptonian DNA
>Session 0 training montage
>okay, now we're all playing, first test time
>oops I still can't use my new powers without breaking my everything
>but we all got in, yay
>wait, I still need a cape name
>uhhh how about Greenhorn?
>sure, says everyone