Not using a sword

oh yeah, just look at this long list of wizards who saved the world:

That sounds like half of the young adult genre

>he doesn't blunt force trauma people in the face.

youtube.com/watch?v=vi757-7XD94

>not using a polearm instead.

Swords are sidearms most of the time.

For a very long time, it was popular to depict the hero as wielding a spear or a lance. Just saying.

It occurs to me however that I do not have a lot of heroic looking spear or polearm users. Most of them are either old or wearing helmets and look like generics. I have a shit ton of art and 95% of the hero types either have a sword or a gun. That's something I'll have to remedy at some point.

Protagonists wielding a hammer or maul are usually old and die heroically at or near the end of the story. Look at this guy. He's grizzled as fuck, probably has a loving wife and a cute daughter back home. Keeps a locket to remind himself of them. We all know he's not making it back to that farmstead to settle down and live out his golden years after the big battle. That's the kind of hero that uses a hammer.

well, technically a five bladed flying remote control weapon is cooler and more useful than a sword.
almost mary sue levels of cooler and more useful. dmpc level at least.

>Using a crossbow
user, I don't know how to tell you this, but you're the villain. And probably not even the main one

Nah, I run/play in campaigns that aren't made for brainlets without the slightest understanding of pre-modern warfare. Sorry kiddo.

Working-class Hero.

Generally speaking you aren't the hero if you aren't wearing the medium equivalent of armor, using a sword, and have a small amount of magic at your disposal

Laughing Achilles.jpg

Yeah, but their ranged support is almost always a bowman (or sexy bow woman). Crossbows are almost entirely for villains

I'm not sure that's accurate

Unless you have a light crossbow, hand crossbow, or pistol if you want to go down the dashing rogue line.

Cross-bows are a working-class weapon, like the AK-47.

Villain comes from the Anglo-French and Old French vilain, which itself descends from the Late Latin word villanus, meaning "farmhand", in the sense of someone who is bound to the soil of a villa, which is to say, worked on the equivalent of a plantation in Late Antiquity, in Italy or Gaul.The same etymology produced villein.It referred to a person of less than knightly status and so came to mean a person who was not chivalrous and polite. As a result of many unchivalrous and impolite acts, such as treachery or rape, being considered villainous in the modern sense of the word, it became used as a term of abuse and eventually took on its modern meaning. The Germanic word "churl", originally meaning "a non-servile peasant" and denoting the lowest rank of freemen in Saxon society, had gone through a similar degradation, as did the word "boor" which originally meant "farmer".

>he doesn't hook armored enemies with pollaxe and smash their heads when they lay prone on the ground

>Not wielding wealth and influence.

Have fun dying in someone else's conflict.

>grabs sword by blade

lmao your move faggot

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Have fun getting poisoned at a wedding.

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Swords can be pretty versatile even against heavy armor.

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In Dutch the meaning never shifted. That's why the Afrikaners called themselves boers.

>not being a Strength-based knife fighter, the manliest form of combat

Cowards, the lot of you.

>knife dueling
>realism
Pick one.

Oh, Gambino! You inspire me everyday to do better.

I mean... could be worse.

Commodus survived poisoning. It was the strangling and drowning that did him in.

Worse yet being forced to drink molten gold was a fairly common thing the Spanish did.

Wouldn't people suspect the guy armed to the teeth, tribal markings, and an evil expression?

Gambino is a face in the sky!

Oh, yeah, I forgot that fun's not allowed.

Well he knew his way around a sword, at least. Can't pick your dad, just gotta try and make the best of whatever ya get.

Fun isn't realistic. Try to remember you're on the historical realism board; this is no place for fun and games.

I dunno, seems like a pretty swell guy to me

I am spanish and I didn't know that. Can you give an example?

so... crowssbowmen are villains.

>holding your sword backwards

You silly bastards, choose the right weapon the first time.

>Sword
Axe
Spear

By your powers combined, I am the ultimate weapon!

I wish I looked like I was having as much fun as her.

>Not using a poleaxe with an arming sword or knife as a side weapon

Have fun being grappled to the ground as you hopelessly try to poke through a knight's visor with your mace

An evil expression is the medieval fantasy resting bitch face

You know what they say about knife fights.

>Sword
Tool for nobility: good for low effort stabbing of unarmored peasants while collecting taxes
>Hammer/Mace
Tool for working class: adapted from civilized industry, good for armored combatants or incapacitating in a pinch
>Axe
Tool for wilderness: inefficient tool adapted for devastating bloody effect
>Spear/Polearm
>Tool for war: stick the other guy before he can reach to stick you

>poke visor
>with mace

That is indeed the jest

Err, a spear is still better at killing loads of unarmored peasants.
The great thing about the sword is that its a very quick and nimble weapon, perfect for defending yourself.

Spears are too big and unwieldy to provide you with good defense. Defensive advantages of spears only really show themselves when used in mass or on horseback.
Warhammers, axes and maces all have atrocious balancing and are quite ponderous to move around.
Knives and daggers are too short to really defend yourself effectively.

That's why warriors all over the world typically carried a sword-like sideweapon to go with their main war weapon, whether that weapon was a polearm, axe, hammer, or really big fucking sword.

Why is the universe under his skirt?

My money is on the Wizard.

That's just how massive his dick is.

>Not using a Fucking Hand Cannon.
Whats with this savage melee crap.

Exactly. Anyone with half a brain will tell you that projectiles are superior.

Finally a Patrcian and someone with more than half a brain

>Wouldn't people suspect the guy armed to the teeth, tribal markings, and an evil expression?

>armed to the teeth
With a lute?

>tribal marking
Where?

>evil expression
I'd be pissed too if no one noticed I'd stopped playing.

The spear is the king of the battlefield.

I don't think this artist knows how a sling works...

>not dual wielding a whip and a katar
Do you scrubs even snowflake?

>clover
/ourguy/

>Using weapons like a fucking coward
Have fun being already dead

Philistines get wrecked.

That's only because bards are the ones who tell the stories.

>Throws the whole thing, sling and all, at him
David and Goliath just got 10 times funnier.

"Marcus Lincinius Crassus, an astoundingly wealthy Roman general, is rumored to have died this way, as is Roman Emperor Valerian the Elder (though others contest that he was flayed alive). Spanish inquisitors used this technique and so did tribes in South America—as one corrupt, gold-loving Spanish governor found out in 1599."

- Taken from the Smithsonian website in an article where they test the effects of the method on bovine larynx.

Gold specifically was used by the Jivaro tribe of Ecuador on the colonial Spanish governor of Logroño. During the Inquisition they generally used low melt point metals like lead - as they were't going for poetic justice - and it was usually just poured over people. The throat method yields immediate rupturing organs due to steam.

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That can actually happen if you mess up the throw or throw too hard.
In other words, the artist is claiming that David rolled a critical failure and still managed to kill Goliath by the luck save.