Total War Warhammer General /wfg/

I meant pissing* fuck you grammarly

Very hard. A Verminlord is seen as the living will of the Great Horned Rat, and defeating one in open battle would be horrifying to the Skaven host.

A canny and very powerful Grey Seer might be able to stop the rout before it happens, but a canny and very powerful Grey Seer would probably call up some sort of warpstorm and kill everyone present while fleeing in the ensuing chaos.

>Pick up 9th Age
>Go to Adepticon for some tournament play
>First opponent is a neon haired hambeast
>She's playing Chaos warriors
>Game starts
>My archers target her Chaos Lord riding a dragon
>"These shooting at him"
>Her face turns red
>Her cheeks puff out as she inhales as deepas she can
>Screams "JUDGE!" as she starts to cry
>Judge rushes over seeing her crying
>"What happened?"
>She blubbers "Pronouns, he, pronouns!"
>Judge looks over at me
>Shrug and say "I have no idea"
>Hambeast sniffles and points her hoof like claw at me "He called my Chaos lordette a man! That's transphobia!" she bellows as she cries into her arm blubber
>Suddenly silence in the gaming hall
>Everyone turns to me
>Judge demands I leave for being transphobic
>Appeal
>Denied for not using Xe pronouns the judge prefers
>Pack my stuff up
>Walk out the room
>They start stamping their feet
>Then again
>Rush back in
>"Buddy you're a boy make a big noise Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day You got mud on yo' face You big disgrace Kickin' your can all over the place
>they start singing
>"We will we will rock you!
>"We will we will rock you!"
>I set my stuff back up
>"Buddy you're a young man hard man Shoutin' in the street gonna take on the world some day You got blood on yo' face You big disgrace wavin' your banner all over the place"
>their face is crimson now
>"we will we will rock you!"
>"Alright"
>beat hambeast
>beat nu-male
>come in third because some fucker brought high elves
And that was the last time I played 9th age.

I know there's a lore reason as to why Arcane magic is stronger than Divine magic, but is there a reason that Divine magic is so much harder to do? For example, in WFRP v2 an Apprentice Wizard can start play being able to cast a spell. However, an Initiate would have to earn 1200xp before being able to cast even petty divine magic. Not complaining about balance mind you, just wondering about the reasoning.

GIVE ME CHAOS DWARF'S NOW GIVE THEM TO ME!

One requires the user to do stuff, the other requires sucking your god's (hopefully futa)cock to ask them to stuff for you?

>That happened.

Lurk more, newfag.

I prefer the "Steven Universe" ending.

...

If GW made AoS go back to squares, play like 6th ed fantasy, and keep its new army making and lore, would you play it or spurn them?

Still wouldn't play unless I could use my 6ed armies.

They would never do that. They already have a successful game, they don't need to appeal to old grognards when they have an established base.

Also, please keep AoS discussion to its own general.

My 4th edition collection slowly grows.

Wizard = Just doing Magic and waving your dick around in the winds of magic willy nilly
Divine magic = Doing magic behind obfuscated walls of chanting bullshit and religious rituals, making it a touch safer but you likely don't understand what you're doing too well.

Wrong way around, keep the rules, drop the nulore

>keep the shittiest part of AoS

No.

>AoS
>successful

So Khorne Priests would still be using magic, yeah?

According to Tome of Corruption, that's a no. Khornate priests would probably just lead in bloody rites and angry murdersprees.

I'd love to see a wizard devoted to khorne constantly getting spurned by his god.

How about a wizard that just likes to look at things getting slaughtered?

Neat

Could be interesting, both in a 'I love my god but he doesn't love me' way, and as a servant of Khorne would likely struggle with violent urges and rages that a weedy wizard would find troubling.

That's more a question of interpretation, since some areas of the gods are murky. Enjoying the sight of slaughter could be as much Slaaneshi as Khornate, it just depends on if it's for the pleasure or to feel rage.

Switch Slaanesh and Nurgle and this is completely accurate.

How does WFB handle Chaos Undivided, anyway? In 40k, as far as I remember, that was mostly written out.

It exists but it's rare, hence why Archaon was important

>tfw no dark elf mom/gf

There's that cuck Belakor or whatever, Archaeon, and his entire Horde in Warhammer Total War (Whose chosen wear black armor with no god iconography, being loyal to the idea of Chaos more then the gods)

The tribal peoples that worship Chaos mostly worship the full pantheon while warriors of chaos are mostly henotheists IIRC.

>CA fucked up Malekith's voice entirely and he now sounds exactly like Gelt

Will they ever give the poor motherfucker a break?

>Malekith is still fucked up by the loss of his friend and that's part of why he's so paranoid and alone

I have to admit, that's actually rather sad.

Just what exactly is his fucking problem?

>his only friend was the last thing that kept him away from Ulthuan, Morathi and the curse of Khaine

Question for /wfb/urgers - what's your headcanon?

Everyone is free to pick and choose what lore they prefer and enjoy for their own games and dudes, and I'm curious as to some of the lore that people prefer - or just flat out made up for their games because they like it better.

I'll get the ball rolling:

>Ghal-Maraz is a fake, and if the real one was ever found it would cause either a civil war or a massive falling out between the Dwarfs and the Empire.

>The Great Cataclysm of the Dwarfish Empire was caused by the Doomstones.

>Hashut belongs on the Dwarfen pantheon and is a corrupted ancestor god.

>The planet is hollow and there's a shitload going on the deeper you go.

Do you ever think Malekith, while brooding on his throne, alone with no one but his conniving mother to recall his once-glorious past, remembers that there is nothing worse than an oathbreaker?

Yeah. He probably uses that self-loathing to power his magic and keep himself alive.

>being so butthurt that you're still posting that retarded copy-pasta over a month later
I think we know who the real faggot is.

Thats actually pretty sad.

>what's your headcanon?

Rumours have just begun to circulate amongst the worshippers of Chaos that a new Everchosen named Archaon have been crowned.

Valkia the Bloody, joined by untold numbers of powerful Chaos Lords, is amassing a collosal horde, mostly comprised of Hung and Kurgan peoples, to assault the Great Bastion that defends Cathay.

The Skaven Under-Empire and the tunneling greenskin have dug too deep and too greedily and is now under attack by horrors from the Deep Below. As a result the dwarven race is slowly but steadily retaking its lost holds.

>Human soldiers armed and equipped in the manner of the old State Troops of Sylvania occasionally march alongside the undead hordes of the Vampire Counts

>Bretonnian lords sometimes get away with using crude cannons and hiring mercenaries, but if this becomes known they face censure and even banishment

>Druchii occasionally trade and treat with other nations, usually clandestinely with smugglers and pirates - few ports would openly allow a druchii ship. Usually this is to obtain some rare artifact or other useful item, or as part of an illicit deal to somehow directly or indirectly threaten Ulthuan

>Dwarves vary slightly by region outside of the World's Edge Mountains - the Grey Mountain Dwarves share some cultural traits with Bretonnians, the Dwarves of Kraka Drak with Norscans, and the Dwarves of lost Karak Zorn have taken on their own mysterious traditions

>Taal in areas outside of Talabecland sometimes 'cleans up' to have more of a foothold in urban life so none loose connection with such an important deity. Temples still have rough-hewn stone or carved wood walls, and encourage getting back to nature, but take on a more reserved tone and focus more on weather, seasons, and other things even city dwellers can take interest in. Less of a druidic bent, though most traditional priests mock and despise this.

>end times never happened

Atleast make your bait a bit less obvious

user, he ended the greentext with a Queen song. I don't think he was trying to be anything beyond obvious. In fact - dare I say it - I think he was trying to be humorous.

>Confuses comedy for bait

So someone explain Malekiths story to me

AFAIK, he was an Elven Prince and an Explorer who amended relations with the dwarves and travelled far and wide across the world, but he was found lacking by the sword of rulership or w/e and it fucking cooked him alive, so his insane coke addict mom bound his soul to a suit of armor?

That's some heavy shit, user.

This is why Malekith was always the best villain, and why he should have had the Darth Vader end.

It's hard to see a relation between the Malekith who was bro's with Snorri and the Malekith who schemed and betrayed his nation.

All he had to fucking do was wait. If he had legitimately crushed the pleasure cults and executed his mother, the people would have clamored for him to be king.

well fug

>graphic depictions of Lizardmen torturing/killing them

That's probably just me but I have occasionally felt uneasy with the depictions of violence in the fluff. The slapstick fun like goblins volunteering as live ammunition for catapults or gnoblars being accidentally squished by drunken ogres is fine because it's obviously not meant to be taken seriously but at other times it is borderline sadistic. I remember a particularly graphic story in one of the end times books about thousands of slaves being trampled to death or hacked to pieces in an ineffectual attack in Karak Eight Peaks and their mangled bodies being thrown into a pit like garbage. That was pretty disgusting to read.

it reminds me of teenage edg

>In 40k, as far as I remember, that was mostly written out.
Good news everyone, Chaos Undivided is back to canon, led by Logar himself.

>See Skaven trailer in the TW channel.
>One of the most voted comments is someone waifuing a female dark elf.

>>Human soldiers armed and equipped in the manner of the old State Troops of Sylvania occasionally march alongside the undead hordes of the Vampire Counts.
Imma goin' to have to steal that for my own headcanon.

>Bretonnian lords sometimes get away with using crude cannons and hiring mercenaries, but if this becomes known they face censure and even banishment

Would make a neat piece of fluff if some of the crusader states left behind in Araby basically were created as a result of or mantained by Bretonnian Lord sent in to exile as a result of using cannons and mercenaries.

>Druchii occasionally trade and treat with other nations, usually clandestinely with smugglers and pirates - few ports would openly allow a druchii ship. Usually this is to obtain some rare artifact or other useful item, or as part of an illicit deal to somehow directly or indirectly threaten Ulthuan.

I could totally see the druchii go about trade agreements with various people in a similar manner as the carthaginians did with that african people:
>The Carthaginians unload their wares and arrange them on the beach; then they re-board their boats and light a smoky fire. When the native inhabitants see the smoke, they come to the shore and, after setting out gold in exchange for the goods, they withdraw. The Carthaginians disembark and examine what the natives have left there, and if the gold appears to them a worthy price for their wares, they take it with them and depart; if not, they get back on their boats and sit down to wait while the natives approach again and set out more gold, until they satisfy the Carthaginians that the amount is sufficient. Neither side tries to wrong the other, for the Carthaginians do not touch the gold until it equals the value of their goods, nor do the natives touch the goods until the Carthaginians have taken away the gold.
Just have them steal the people at the end.

He panicked when he realized Bel Shanaar favored Imrik and would probably name him as his successor.
Other elven princes were even more afraid of Malekith after he became famous across the world and they would most likely choose Imrik as Phoenix King, forever fucking up Malekith's plans of militarizing elves and preparing them for the return of Chaos.
His mother just stoked his fears and persuaded him to assassinate Bel Shanaar.

Guys, guys, the lore AND rules suck.

It's a violent setting. However if you look at some of earth's history you'll see that unneccesary amounts of violence happen all the time.
Have some delightful quotes from Kings of Assyria:
>I flayed as many nobles as had rebelled against me [and] draped their skins over the pile [of corpses]; some I spread out within the pile, some I erected on stakes upon the pile … I flayed many right through my land [and] draped their skins over the walls.

>In strife and conflict I besieged [and] conquered the city. I felled 3,000 of their fighting men with the sword … I captured many troops alive: I cut off of some their arms [and] hands; I cut off of others their noses, ears, [and] extremities. I gouged out the eyes of many troops. I made one pile of the living [and] one of heads. I hung their heads on trees around the city.

>I cut their throats like lambs. I cut off their precious lives (as one cuts) a string. Like the many waters of a storm, I made (the contents of) their gullets and entrails run down upon the wide earth. My prancing steeds harnessed for my riding, plunged into the streams of their blood as (into) a river. The wheels of my war chariot, which brings low the wicked and the evil, were bespattered with blood and filth. With the bodies of their warriors I filled the plain, like grass. (Their) testicles I cut off, and tore out their privates like the seeds of cucumbers.

CA makes pretty good waifus for an RTS.

>tfw working on the Veeky Forums TW:WH wiki.
Its so comfy :3

>day 3483
>khornepai has not yet noticed me

If you are bothered by skaven being slaughtered in droves then i don't want to know what you must think of real life humans

To be fair Assyrians were prime assholes.

True, they deserved getting WW0.1'd.

jealousy breeds envy

You and every other American born since the 80's.

Hardly an expert on Warhammer Fantasy as I've only gotten into because Total War but I passed baseless judgement on Malekith and friends as bad dudes because of appearance and the word dark.

Can someone give me a quick rundown on Dark Elf history and is Malekith best boy?

While we're here I suppose if anyone wants to recommend some ways I dig into the lore I'd appreciate it, I've been casually reading some of the role-playing books and they offer a bit of insight.

You could start by reading one of the army books or wiki articles.

>come in third because some fucker brought high elves
are high elves good in 9th age?

>Human soldiers armed and equipped in the manner of the old State Troops of Sylvania occasionally march alongside the undead hordes of the Vampire Counts

you too huh? i always figured this would happen since there are still lots of humans around in sylvania.

All his problems started when GW decided to make him bald.

...

He was, but he turned into a shithead

Basically:

>Malekith was the son of a great hero and Pheonix King
>asked for the right to follow in his fathers footsteps
>because of politicks and shit, the princes vote no, and some milquetoast dude becomes king
>Malekith takes this in stride and is the first to swear alleigance to the new king, while his mom, whose kind of lost her shit since her husband dies, flips out and goes reee
>Malekith does some stuff for a while, earning a name for himself, then decides everyone would be happier if he wasn't hanging around making things awkward with the new King and goes exploring
>Travels the world, fighting evil, fucking bitches. Becomes best bro's withe King of the Dwarves, Snorri Whitebeard, their races profit greatly for their partnership
>Finds a magical iron crown in ancient norscan ruins, very magical, becomes obsessed with unlocking it's powers. Spoilers, it's corrupted by Chaos!
>Eventually his Bro Snorri dies of old age, Malekith is very sad. Snorri is canonically his last 'true' friend
>Meanwhile back home shit is going bad. Because of how prosperous they are, the Elves are getting lazy and degenerate. Pleasure cults are starting to take over and things are uneasy.
>Malekith returns home and puts his foot down, assists the pheonix king in chastening the cultists, not afraid of political backlash or court shit
>Finds out his Mom is behind the cults, has her imprisoned
>At some point however, he changes sides
>gives mom Clemency in exchange for control of the cults
>uses them to subvert Elven government from the Inside out, all the while gaining more and more admiration from the people and the courts for fighting them
>Eventually requests emergency powers to command the armies to fight revolts springing up

Read the army books and wargame rulebooks for good stories, "official canon", and to avoid pissing off the tabletop purity autists. The wikis are a decent place to get summaries but they're pretty horribly organized depending on what you're looking up. The RPG books give you a good overview of the setting but if you want characters you gotta read the army books.

Malekith was a great hero to the elves but due to the rather dark and bitter last days of his father the other princes of Ulthuan decided that there was a risk of Malekith being dark and cruel like his homeland of Nagarythe. Bel-Shanar was therefore elected Phoenix King which set Malekith on his path of treachery, kin-slaying, murder and madness.

You're forgetting the heavy Aztek inspiration that the Lizardmen have going. Not to mention that if there's any race that they hate more than daemons, it's Skaven.

>Convenes the sena- I mean, Princes
>Announces that the KING was behind the cults all along, and he's commited sudoku by poison (actually assassinated by Malekith), and he's taking control to prevent more bloodshed
>Princes call bullshit
>Malekiths followers burst in, bloody fighting break out in the council chambers
>Malekith announces I'M THE PHEONIX KING NOW
>Enters the flame of Asuryan to be rightfully baptized as king and claim the thrown
>Asuryan (Elf God) says "lol nah" and burns the FUCK out of Malekith, he won't stop screaming
>Malekiths survivors escape with him, still burning and screaming
>Elf realm is in Chaos, cult revolt has taken on life of it's own
>Malekith survives on pure pissed off now
>His mom has a traitor smith use the hammer of vaul, the hammer of the literal god of elf smithing, to make a suit of armor to him
>he is physically bound to his armor
>Now Elf-Vader, returns and tries to sieze control of Elf Land by force
>Gets BTFO by the new king hastily elected, a pretty bro dude
>Sent packing across the ocean on a flying castle, shaking his fist

His history after that is basically a long series of dick moves and betrayals, including purposefully starting a War between the High Elves and the Dwarven Kingdoms of his old friends to suit his purposes.

TL,DR; he's Sheev, Vader, and Dr. Doom rolled into one.

And honestly, the ultimate sad Irony is if he had legitimately done his job and simply waited, he probably would have been elected king by popular support, having basically saved the nation.

In End Times lore, which Veeky Forums hates, it's even noted that he WAS Asuryan's chosen, and if he had stayed in the fire and not bitched out, he would have become King. My theory is the sacred flame was burning the evil out of him, seeped into his soul from his mothers malice, his own bitterness, and the iron crown of the north.

Thanks for the breakdown my guy and thanks all for the directions, ill probably grab an army book at random and see how it goes.

They got Queekish (skaven language) all fucking wrong. It's supposed to be verbs and nouns they repeat, not just random fucking words.
Also, the fucks going on with Queeks voice? In the opening cinematic his voice is deep and sinister, very fitting for a savage animal, but in game it completely changed to that of some regular dregs skaven. I get it's supposed to be chittering, ect, but it just dies not fit in my opinion.

I like the way you write.
Can you rundown the lizards now?

>tfw Gav Thorpe shits on decades of lore where Malekith was the ultimate destroyer of elven civilization just to make him the ACTUAL good guy

>space frogs create lizard servants
>have other frogs rule them
>lizards are autistic
>frogs accidentally destroy the dwarven empire
>lizards really hate rats

Not him so let's wait and see what enjoyable stuff he writes.

Those hellpit abominations look cool and all but I wonder how they'll hold up to Net of Amyntok and the Silver Bullets

You gave me a chuckle.

Please tell me hellpit explodes into rats when it dies? Or can revive or somthing cool. The "too horrific to die" chart is one of my favorite things about WHFB

it has regen
So bring a bright wizard.
I love the bright wizard lines too.
Flame, On

50/50 chance of getting back up or spawning a unit of clanrats.
That thing is gonna be horrifying.

Weird they wouldn't just have regular giant rats in this yet. The goblin spider queen summons regular spiders

The Dark Elves are as evil as you assumed.

Go read the Malus Darkblade omnibus, and also Elfslayer.

>long ago when the old world was made of shit, ice, and dinosaurs
>magical fucking time lords came from outerspace and decided it was a good fixer upper
>So they genetically engineered servants for them - first the Slaan, magical telepathic pepe's who could commune with them directly and then send their plans out to the others
>Skinks, clever and dexterous, to be the engineers and overseers
>Saurians to be the warriors and laborers
>The Magical Time Lords, called the Old Ones, built two portals at either pole of the world to give them access, and set the Lizardmen about massacring native species they didn't want around and building large pyramids at very specific locations in order to channel the magic of geomantic leylines
>Directed by The Time Lords, the Lizardmen built an advanced civilization on Lustria while the elves squatted in huts and shit in the woods
>but everything changed when the fire nation attacked

Eh, there's not much point in having a bunch of rats that you have to animate seperately for a one off unit. Plus, they translated the 2horrible2die thing pretty well into the game.