A million skeleton archers begin raining death down upon your party

>A million skeleton archers begin raining death down upon your party

Assuming those are your bog-standard skeletons, none of them can even hit us at this point, not even with a crit, because they'd need to confirm it - which they can't.
God bless ridiculous numbers of 3.5!

Don't crits auto hit?

Maybe in 5e, but by 3.5 rules, you don't actually crit right away. You need to roll a second time, and this time see if you hit your target's AC. It's called confirming, and majority of people forget that this rule exists.

Guys, I think we pissed off the GM.

Good luck I'm behind seven skeletons. DR/bludgeoning motherfuckers!!

If you don't confirm you crit, it's a Normal autohit, Beavis.

Isn't confirming to do max dmg?

>AdEVA

We're totally invincible, or instantly dead, depending on if we're in our robots.

>Changeling The Lost

We're maybe fucked? I think the Tunnelgrub could burrow and survive, and our min/maxed Changing Breed pal might life, but the rest of us are probably done for, barring a convenient door.

>Ghostbusters

In the fine print of our standard contract, we have a surcharge for each individual corporeal manifestation removed. So the beach-bag guy pulls out an umbrella, and if we survive then we'll all be rich! (Providing we can collect)

>Exalted

*unzipps katana*
Heh, nice try kid
*teleports behind you*

How cute.

>Exalted

>*unzipps katana*
>Heh, nice try kid
>*teleports behind you

Best answer.

Assuming D&D 20 arrows is 1lb so if the skeletons each fire 1 arrow that is a 50,000lb mass of wood and metal every round. That amount of arrows could easily pin/crush a person to death.

this is the only acceptable answer for D&D

Assuming they've cast Mass Protection from Arrows they'll be in the center of a haystack made of arrows.

Those 3 guys in the back are still fucked

Current game is Dark Heresy, party is working with the mechanicus.
All in guard flak, two of the five are psykers, the guardsman just got a hellgun (me).
More worried about the rogue psyker that's raising the dead over the skeletons.

I once doubted Skeletons using ranged weapons. I do so no longer. Arrows are a fucking death sentence and operate in the same manner as fucking Guardsman lasgun fire in Fantasy games with Necromancy

Shit's even worse when you take the skeleton from a race with marksmanship benesfits or a class that has it.

best part is if you use Zombies as arrow pincushions and have them bring arrows to the skeletons from the frontlines.

Wanna know the REAL fucking nasty part about that application? Destruction Retibution means you HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO MAKE AN EXPLOSIVE ZOMBIE LANDMINE THAT EXPLODES SENDING THE PROJECTILES LODGED IN IT'S BODIES AS SHRAPNEL, INCLUDING BONES IF YOU MODIFIED THE ZOMBIES WITH THE EXISTING SINCE 1E BRITTLEBONE OIL AND THIS ALSO HEALS OTHER UNDEAD NEAR THE EXPLOSION

NOW, YOU APPLY THIS TO STRAHD ZOMBIES, AND YOU'VE A ZOMBIE ARMY THAT YOU HAVE TO COUNT AS 6X THE NUMBER BECAUSE THE HEAD, ARMS, TORSO AND LEGS ARE ALL INDEPENDANT UNDEAD ENTITIES THAT ALSO EXPLODE, AND WE'VE NOT EVEN WHIPPED OUT THE PLANAR TOUCHSTONE FEAT WITH THE NECROMANCER DOMAIN AND THE FUCKING ROD OF UNDEAD CONTROL FOR A HD CAP SO HIGH PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT SCREEN RESOLUTION

>not having a scroll of protection from arrows lying around

you are weaksauce

Thanks for informing us captain obvious.

>Shit's even worse when you take the skeleton from a race with marksmanship benesfits or a class that has it.
wut

too bad warhammer skeletons can't use missile weapons

>L5R
Fucking dead, doesnt matter how many fucking earth rings we have
>Rogue Trader
Deader than dead, theyre probably spooky space skeletons and wont suffer explosive decompression
>Pathfinder
Cant die if I fucking leave the game because the DM blew his last straw on our eternal dungeon crawl

A natural 20 is an auto-hit with a chance of crit

Statistically, 1/20 will hit and 1/400 will crit regardless of their attack bonus.

1 000 000/20= 50 000
1 000 000/400= 2500

That's 47500 normal hits and 2500 crits.

Since a crit is x3 on a bow, and assuming these are regular bows, that's 55000 d8s of damage, or 247500 damage on average

However, even a level 1 fighter can use a tower shield to gain total cover and become untargetable from one side. Arrows can't bypass a metal tower shield's hardness, so as long as the skeletons don't surround you they have no chance of hitting you and you can at least get to safety or possibly wait until they run out of arrows

What the fuck is "death rain"?

Haha, my genius plan has succeeded! Soon I will be a skeleton too, and can infiltrate the necromancer's army unsuspected!

Knowing my party, they pull the arrows out of their flesh and fire them back, only to watch each arrow pass harmlessly through the enemy's ribcages

Skeleton piss from above, theyre flying skeletons

>million skellies
>1.000.000
>more or less 1/20 rolls a nat20
>50.000 hit
>1/20 of those deals double damage
>2.500 deal double damage
Yeah, I don't think you can survive 1 million arrows fired at the same time

>1.000.000 arrows
By weight alone you'll die

>iron or steel hardness: 10
Be careful, 1d8+Str might break it if Str is 16+, specially if they're 1 million arrows

>Exalted
>*unzipps katana*
>Heh, nice try kid
>*teleports behind you*
*Mysides.jpg*

I miss fielding Khalida and my massive army of tombking archers :(

>cast deflect arrow and wind wall

wheres the challenge?

...

WHAt edition are you playing because as far as i know undead are some of the crappiest summoning/minions you can get, their rules are extremely strict and fierce on their stats and ability numbers with little room for modification, any racial or class bonuses are instantly lost upon ressyrrection through animate dead so i dunno where your getting these bonuses, they get either a plus 2 to dex or strength depending on if its a zombie or skele and only have a bab and hp of 1/3rd of the level they are charged up to. Maling for some of the most poor minions a pc can get.

I read that as a million skeleton archers begin raining down upon your party. I'm not sure which is actually worse.

I personally killed or forced every other necromancer in the setting into servitude by stealing their memories and modifying their mind and soul into those of completely loyal servants. How? What the hell? Why?

The players slowly die from boredom as the DM insists on rolling for every single individual skeleton.

We have now become the skeletons.

We're in a fucking uboat though?

As it turns out the skeleton union doesn't appreciate you putting them all out of work

Then we fight in the shade

Rolled 20, 18, 5, 4, 11, 9, 3, 2, 10, 9, 19, 4, 16, 1, 15, 18, 18, 11, 1, 16, 14, 4, 3, 5, 13 = 249 (25d20)

Confirming is for Double Max damage. And instant death for the third roll.

Mind, I don't think any DM is mad enough to roll 3 million times in one sitting.

Jokes on you. I have DR 10/magic

hm

I just wanted to become God and reduce the world to a personification of myself. :(

Is that asking for too much, skeletons? Is it!?

>Exalted
>Teleporting behind them
>Not teleporting all one million in front of you with their backs turn
>Not manipulating fate so they shot themselves out of the bow and crash into the rocks

As GM, I proceed to ask whose been messing with my encounter notes.

And maybe apologize if they've found combat and EXP a bit sparse but remind them they won't get any if they die.

>maybe apologize if they've found combat and EXP a bit sparse but remind them they won't get any if they die.

loled, nice

Skeleton is a template, same as the zombie type. I forget the actual term. Excuse me. Grab something like an Elf. Make it a skeleton. It gets the proficiency with longswords and longbows. This is a minor case.

I am not cuhrayzeeunded user, mind you. I haven't looked at my D&D books in ages. Call me out if I am wrong.

My group did this in 5e but with the enemy type. The language was really vague on the spell.

I always thought it was 20 = chance to crit, then you roll to confirm. If you manage to overcome the enemy's AC, it's a crit. If not, it's a normal hit.

I'm reasonably sure that their are rules for this in phb2 but I don't have it on me so whatever

I think the gist was people in an arrow rain add x to hit where (x is # of people participating)

Long story short a bunch of skeles are shooting at skill+1e6 a million of them to be precise

Just use Wish. Easy.

If they fire all at once, it's just going to be a blanked of arrows without much weight to it. IF you want to crush them, you need a constant stream of arrows aimed at the same spot.

Assuming they're using standard 30 inch arrows, and a 30 inch arrow weighs about 18 grams, you're looking at

>1,000,000 arrows X 18 grams per arrow
>18,000,000 grams total
>18,000,000 grams = 18,000 kilograms
>18,000 kilograms = 39,683.207 pounds

Now, assuming that these skeletons are accurate enough to hit the party and ONLY the party, then yes, 39,000 pounds is certainly enough to crush and kill them. However, if they are going for a standard volley, which they most likely will, due to it being hard as fuck to organize that many archers to fire that accurately, and skeletons having only a rudimentary intelligence, then with that volley, like said, you would only be hit by a very, very small amount of those arrows (compared to the massive shitstorm of arrows, anyhow).

(Yes, I used wikipedia and google to figure a lot of that shit out. I figured perfect accuracy didn't matter. And no, I do not have a life.)

everyone except time reversal guy, superspeed guy and momentum guy die
my character specifically dies knowing that getting out of bed WAS a bad idea and she was correct the whole time, therefore vindicated in death

My group always houseruled that critting needed confirmation EXCEPT for natural 20's, which were always confirmed.

Well, I'm running 4e, and the party is currently Epic tier, so I'd probably represent a horde of skeleton archers as a single undead-type and swarm-type monster... maybe a solo, or maybe an elite of there are other units in the undead army, or if they are accompanied by their summoning necromancer(s).

Are they firing as they're falling?

I cast invisibility.

Can't hit what you can't target

That is incorrect. You can easily hit what you can't target by flooding the area with arrows.

Also, undead are immune to illusions....like invisibility.

You should include velocity to find the pressure they exert on impact

Generally speaking, 11 pounds of torque, 7 pounds of pressure, and 3 pounds of pull are the important numbers.

11 pounds of torgue to pull any joint out of alignment.
7 pounds of pressure to penetrate human skin with a sharp object.
3 pounds of pull will fire most guns.

Fight in the shade

>you can flood a place with arrows
Not in D&D. You need to see the target to attack it regardless

Also undead are immune to illusions bestowed on them, like charm person, afaik, not things that don't have them as target

No, you can fire blindly at a square. and when you have a million attackers, you can fire at a MILLION SQUARES.

Ok the what if i use rope trick and wait in my planar pocket that they run out of ammo?
Alternatively i cast wind wall.

moral of the story is casters aways win

There's a feat which allows you to spend a gem to bestow any feat one of your undead classify for, and if you want undead that retain abilities and feats you've the selection of a Juju Zombie, Bone Warrior or that other zombie that the Thayans use.

Unearthed Arcana in 3.5 has variant class abilities, where you swap out one class feature for another, and there is a dragon magazine article called Transversed Arcana, which also features in Incredibly useful class variant that doesn't conflict with UA's so you can use both for a Wizard Necromancer specialist.

Using U.A and T.A grants +6 to STR +2 to DEX and +4 Hit points per Hit Die, and now get 5 temp HP to boot at 5th level, and you've still got your wizard bonus feats.

There's the Planar Touchstone Feat which is a feat that allows you to get a higher power and a renewable power from various locations in the Planes, and in Mechanus, there is a fucking library known as the catalogs of enlightenment, a location which ingame, is literally a house full of rules lawyers and min-maxxers who have dedicated their lives to storing the rules of the multiverse (keyword here) as to potentially become gods.

For 1 year of study, you get to use this place as your planar touchstone. The payoff?

Access to the fucking Domain Power of any fucking Divine spellcasting domain you want, even if it's not a part of the setting you're in, this place covers the fucking multiverse.

There's a Domain which increases Undead HD cap, that with the rod of undead mastery makes you a fucking army controller.

It even get's better as Master specialist allows your Undead to Fast heal everytime you cast a Necromancy spell, Fell animate metamagic means zombie insect swarms which pair well with Destructive retribution or the feat which has undead do cold damage.

Master Specialist provides Fast Healing to undead every time you cast a Necromancy spell to boot. You can see how fun you can take a necromancer with these sorts of options.

Wind wall won't work unless they are all in front of you.If they fire up and arc the arrows, you'll still be dead because of how wind wall works. That also assumes they just don't move.

Yes, trap yourself in a small, isolated space with hundreds of thousands of undead waiting for you to come out, dipshit. Fucking BRILLIANT planning. Have you NEVER seen a zombie movie?

Tomb Kings, and they hit even better, due to Arrows of the Asp

I have a stance with my halberd that gives me 7 damage resistance against arrows and armor with a damage reduction of 5. Arrows do 1d6 damage with 2 AP so theyd need a +5 damage bonus from somewhere (which isnt easy to get in this system) to even scratch me. I'm ok

We put up our shields obviously, they will run out of arrow

They clearly had a bone to pick with you, yet you were too much of a numbskull to spot it

...aaand this is why I hate 3.5, the entire game is just an excuse to find combos to break the mechanics.

(Unless you're a martial class, of course, then you get a feat to add +1 to your hit rolls with your favorite weapon)