Excuse me fellow Citizen, Friend Computer has asked me to have everyone in the sector complete the following survey. I will stand by as you complete the survey, as Friend Computer appreciates and demands promptness in their return. Thank you for your cooperation.
The last time I met with my fellow Communist conspirators was:
A) Over 6 months ago
B) 3-6 months ago
C) 1-3 months ago
D) Within the past month
Paranoia thread
Fugg de gommies :DDDD
I ask them to demonstrate how to take the survey. After all, I wouldn't want to waste Friend Computers important time by doing it incorrectly.
But that's circumventing the will, and authority of our glorious friend computer!
Only a filthy communist would do such a thing!
Clearly you are a communist conspirator attempting to bring down loyal citizens with this rigged questionnaire. Im gonna beat the shit out of you and bring you to friend computer.
Wait, are you claiming to speak for the Friend Computer without proper authorization? Usurping power would be a treasonous action...
You'll notice that the questionnaire is printed on stock 3 paper and is authorized with the proper Q1225-E indicator. Only Friend Computer or someone with clearance level Blue or higher can authorize such a questionnaire be distributed to Citizens. If you were to attack me, I'm afraid I would have to retaliate and bring your corpse to Friend Computer to have you erased from the memory banks for disrupting official business.
Clearly then one of you're commie co-conspirators has level blue clearance. And you can't take my corpse to friend computer if I kill you first.
surely you have your authorization with you? Not having your authorization would be treasonous.
RnD here.
We seem to have misplaced our inventory list, in it's place we found this evidently treasonous propoganda. We don't want to be caught with it, take it off our hands will you? Here. Thank you, comrade citizen.
Anyway, after that incident with the storage warehouse spontaneously combusting after the last batch of troubleshooters came through, most of our stocks seem to have, uh, disappeared.
Please turn in all issued RnD items immediately to comra-*ahem* friend troubleshooter here for inspection immediately. No need to tell friend computer about this, da? Make us look bad and next mission we'll issue you rocket boots for testing.
Oh and be careful. I hear there's rumors of a commuinist spy operating in this sector.
post your best RnD items
A box of 26 alphabet grenades, A-Z.
Just use your PDA to input the name of a thing that starts with the appropriate letter, pull the pin, and throw. The grenade will transform threeish seconds later into the specified object.
As always, all grenades must be tested and returned intact.
saved from a thread a while back
Do the objects still explode after the transformation?
That's for RnD to know and you to find out!
Of course they do, unless the PCs want them to.
Just dropping in to inform you that RnD is taking part in a new initiative promoting lesser used letters, and as such we can only issue you 10 or so grenades, sadly. Here, we're giving you X, Z, V, U, X, Q, PRINT_USR_ERR, ~, 9, and БД.
Not testing every grenade as ordered is treason, of course.
Of course Citizen, however I see you are only clearance level infrared, and you'll note my orange reflec signifying my higher clearance level. Now Citizen, if you will please answer the following survey question:
My mutant powers allow me to
A) Levitate, Teleport, or other movement ability
B) Fireball, Ice Breath, or other harmful ability
C) Warp Time, Warp Space, or other physics modifying ability
D) Talk with machines, Modify machines, or otherwise interact with machines in some special way
Remember citizen, Friend Computer appreciates and demands cooperation.
I remember that thread.
Of course RnD, thank your for your time and dedication to routing the menace of secret societies and mutants among us.
This alleged questionnaire is printed on white paper, which is well above your and my clearance. You seem to be accessing restricted information, citizen?
While that might otherwise be the case, Friend Computer directed me to distribute this questionnaire. Are you questioning Friend Computers directives? Keep in mind that anything you say can be used in determining a charge of treason by Friend Computer.
And the questionnaire has now been distributed, as instructed. Next we fold the paper to make sure that no-one reads the restricted information on it from now on, accidentally or otherwise, and we'll let any allegations of you accessing its contents slide, okay? Thank you for your cooperation, citizen!
Hey, I didn't get a questionnaire! Instead, comrade has handed me what appears to be communist propaganda, see? I've helpfully embedded a picture of it in my post, so all loyal citizens will know exactly what kind of propaganda they should not be looking at.
I fear we must report him for this treason immediately, before he can spread any more false accusations.
Is good, da?
Hello fellow comr- I mean citizens how are you today I'm looking for my Red Jump Suit as you can see I'm unfortunately naked and I have quite a chill
Fear not good citizen!
In it's infinite wisdom, friend computer has provided an extra jumpsuit for us to deliver to you.
Here it is, completely regulation.
...How do you know it's communist propaganda unless you can read Russian?
What's a russian?
Wow I don't recall the Friend Computer adding a new clearance level. My old jumpsuit had black stripes to identify me as a ally mutant this bares no marking but I'm sure this is all for a reason maybe Friend Computer wishes me not to be identified as a mutant
I think that is something you do when your in a hurry like when a new prescription tray is put down and you you want to get your meds hot off the belt.
New clearance level? Citizen, that jumpsuit is clearly red. Don't listen to any traitorous rumors to the contrary.
Perhaps the black stripes were to indicate a colorblindness mutation?
Emergency Clearance Hat.
A convenient hat for troubleshooters in hot pursuit who, foolishly, enter areas they are not authorized to be in while trying to stop commie mutant scum. Simply put the hat on, and when the hat detects it is not in a red or lower clearance location, the symbol on the front of the hat changes color, and allows safe passage for the wearer. Sure, sometimes the symbol takes some time to change color, or changes to the wrong color, but we're sure it will prove to be very useful. We just need to come up with a better design for next time...but I'm sure it will work out just fine for this mission.
Bonus points if you actually find one of these and bring it to the session as a physical prop.
Excellent thinking.
Yes, as a bonus you will be shot first.
And last.