This year we offered our customers the ultimate Black Friday experience - the ability to buy nothing from us for $5...

>This year we offered our customers the ultimate Black Friday experience - the ability to buy nothing from us for $5. We took our entire store offline, and put up a simple payment form where people could give us $5.

>11,248 people gave us $5, and 1,199 people gave us more than $5 by filling out the form more than once. One enthusiastic fan gave us $100. In the end, we made a windfall profit of $71,145.

>There's been a lot of speculation about how we would spend the money from Black Friday, and we're happy to announce that this time, we kept it all. Here's what we bought.

cardsagainsthumanity.com/blackfriday/

ABJECT RAPACITY

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These are the same guys who left a convention table full of CAH merch unmanned with a "pay what you want" sign, a couple of years ago. Unsurprisingly, they lost several thousand dollars.

I personally suspect they're just basically testing capitalism's failure modes for the lulz.

>I personally suspect they're just basically testing capitalism's failure modes for the lulz.

Either that, or perhaps they are severely retarded.

Holy shit that's hilarious.

>Not dropping 3 large on a vibrator.
The rest of them have to step it up.

Well, not all of them. They refused Bitcoin because it was too silly for even them to take seriously.

Reminds me of their hole fund, where thousands of people donated money to dig a big useless hole, after being told said money was for a big useless hole that was of no benefit to anyone

Holy fucking shit, they could have invested that money and gotten actually rich.
Several of them gave money to NGOs, which is cool I guess, but fuck me the amount of money wasted on bullshit is phenomenal.

Like. Jesus fucking christ, who pays 3 FUCKING GRAND for a fucking vibrator? One that costs 50 euros will give orgasms just as well.

Fucking hell.

>One that costs 50 euros will give orgasms just as well.
But is it made of gold?

Enjoy getting a fucked up vagina if your damn vibrator is made of gold. Eeesh.

It's like those people were given the opportunity to use a stack of money the way they wanted and threw that opportunity away for bullshit stuff. No wonder most people are poor, where's the long term planning?

>where's the long term planning?
Gold is always a sound investment.

I have to admit that's true. I can already imagine thr head of the dude when she brings it to be melted and be considered actual gold and not just a shiny dildo.

Actually being angry at how other people spend their money. Like, have you only been on this planet for two weeks?

>caring about the ultimate game of plebs

Not really angry. More like disappointed and rather smug and self satisfied if I'm very honest.

Price aside, gold is a pretty good material for a vibrator. It's not reactive, so there's no chance of adverse reactions, it wont shatter, unlike glass, and it's easy to clean and maintain.

Besides, you can have it buried with you for future archaeologists to puzzle over.

Or the time when they sold packages of literal shit.

>Besides, you can have it buried with you for future archaeologists to puzzle over

Now that would be something else

>Enjoy getting a fucked up vagina if your damn vibrator is made of gold. Eeesh.
Hey, the important thing is that YOU think you know what you're talking about!

LONG
TERM
ECONOMIC
POLICY

>Enjoy getting a fucked up vagina if your damn vibrator is made of gold. Eeesh.

user even among us virgins your lack of knowledge is embarrassing.

>that list
>things that happened
Pick one and half.

>Several of them gave money to NGOs, which is cool

If I had couple grand to waste I would buy one of everything that Kingdom Death has to offer, put it into a large gift box and ship it to ShindoL.

You're pretty much a total faggot. People can spend their disposable income on whatever the fuck they want and it's not your place to criticize them for not doing what you want them to do with it.

>ShindoL
I NEED them to do more vanilla.
That wheelchair girl one was perfect.

>with a "pay what you want" sign, a couple of years ago. Unsurprisingly, they lost several thousand dollars.
>$3,120
>1 year warranty
>1 year
>1

Ignore the first quote.

They have all the right to spend their money however the fuck they want indeed and I have all the right to criticise them if it's on a dumb thing like a golden dildo.

The guys behind CAH are already doing fucking fine for money. That they squandered that much is likely just a drop in the barrel for them, and it's in line with their succession of strange economic jokes.

It is kinda sad that CAH will be what they're known for though. Secret Hitler is an actual game, and it's legitimately great.

Holy fuck what a bunch of urban liberal hipster faggots.

>Cards Against Humanity Co-Creator Apologized For Trans-phobic Card

Remember that time we found out that the game wasn't actually about offending people?

Well, you seem pretty upset.

Man, I want free money too.

These shits are just ripe for an office shooting spree.

>Offending People But Only Within Acceptable Boundaries Set by Our Social Justice Warrior Cultural Guardians of Censorship.

It says so right on the package.

>more than $60k worth of severely retarded
How so?

You get right on that, I'm busy making my life better and not throwing my life in the trash.

>waaaah why am i not rich and successful :((

If only they had had a transperson on the team, who could have told the various groups putting pressure on them to fuck off.

>This surprises anyone
It's Edgy on Purpose the Game and only good when drunk or with people who don't give a fuck.

I bet she's ugly as sin. Probs fat too.

Not exactly

But that's not the same person. It even says it in the filename.

Alright. I think I found the right one

twitter.com/KarleeEsmailli/media?lang=en

>$280 on lube
holy shit just how dry is her pooch.

>Besides, you can have it buried with you for future archaeologists to puzzle over.
Dildos are actually a relatively common archaeological find, especially prehistoric ones - just no-one wants to be known as Indiana Boner-stones, so they get saddled with euphemistic names like "ice-age batons" and put in museum archives

TL;DR: no archaeologist is going to be surprised by a dildo

Not exactly miss universe, but better than expected.

Are you an archeologist?

>but fuck me the amount of money wasted on bullshit is phenomenal.

That's the point.

Maybe the actually have an interest in history and people, as well as knowing how to read.

Because I have a large golden dildo for you to examine.

Where? If nothing else I can get a good price.

>We even started a $500,000 full-ride scholarship for women getting degrees in science.
What a fucking waste of money.

>and it's not your place to criticize them for not doing what you want them to do with it.
It is if they post and talk about it online.

Who is Marie Curie.

>all the nu-male beards
>all the nu-male glasses
>all the nu-male haircuts
Is this some sort of parody?

The example that feminists desperately cling to when pretending that women are not objectively worse at the sciences than men, and pretending otherwise is a waste of money (most of which they take from our government).

It's not. I always loved the CaH experiments in nihilism and stupidity for the same reason I love dumb-ass modern art (like the woman living in the glass box for 3 weeks). It's weird and funny and I love it. Then I read what these fucks spent their money on, and except for the chick who bought the legolas bow I seriously hate all of them. Like the 3000 dollar vibrator and donation to planned parenthood. Jesus Christ the cringeworthy virtue signalling there. I seriously hope a truck of piece visits them soon. Stupid fucks.

>donating to a for-profit corporation
I mean, they can spend their money however they like but I thought they were supposed to hate rapacious corporations?

>failure
People wanted to give them money, so they did it.

A statistical outlier that killed herself messing with things she didn't understand.

Someone who didn't need a $500,000 grant in order to become a scientist.

Is there a more "for normies who just want to pretend to be faux-edgy for a bit" game than CAH? Because I can't think of anything.

Exploding kittens.

>the guy who got a car for his mom
>and only spent $1000
Does he hate her?

They're literally doing it on purpose to be shitheads and get people talking about them. It's a publicity thing.

Only guy that I believe actually cares and isn't just donating the money for the sake of virtue signalling.

You think she's gonna manage to wear it out in one year?

>Use it so many times and so frequently that you wear it out in less than a year and you're able to get a fresh new one.
It would go from pleasurable to hell rather quick, but she has at least $280 worth of lube to keep her going.

>Holy fucking shit, they could have invested that money and gotten actually rich.
How do you get rich off, what, $3000 each?
Seriously, tell me.

1. Invest it
2. Invest the dividend
3. Repeat

It takes a while if there's no other capital, but that's how it goes.

Invest it in stocks or use it towards the down payment on a house or condo or put it towards a down-payment on a rental property

So you're telling me that I can get rich being a part-time wage slave if my parents pay for everything?
Fugg, applying now.

Yep. You can get rich doing just about anything, if you're willing to forgo life's small luxuries for a while first. And if you've got no bills, you don't even have to do that.

Maybe eventually, the big ting is that if that's how they spend what is essentially a bonus on top of their regular wages, they have terrible money sense and the charities feel like virtue signaling rather than an honest contribution.

If I were on that list my entry would be $150 for the Space Hulk: Death Angel expacs and the rest in Nestle stock.
Seriously, invest Nestle. They're trying to corner the water market before peak water hits, and for the most part succeeding.

How do I invest?

I mean, like, mechanically speaking? Like, let's say I have $3,000 in cash. What person do I give that to and say "I hereby invest" or whatever? Is Invest a website or something?

Yeah, the old-fashioned way is getting a broker but for the last two decades there's been plenty of websites that you can do it through. If it's cash, you'll first need to put it in a bank account though, and then open an investment account, which your bank may do but it'll usually be through a specialized company. Then you use the money in the bank account to buy stocks (or bonds or whatever) through the site you picked and then just leave them be. Sites will have transaction fees, but you can choose to pay per transaction (which is the better deal for most people) or per month (only necessary if you're getting into day trading) and in the former case you'll make back that money before too long. If you don't know what you're doing, just stick the money into some indexes, since they're pretty much guaranteed to grow significantly in the long run, and it takes a lot of skill to grow your money at a faster rate than they get.

It belongs in a museum!

This was the best. Reddit was crowing over their donations and fellating these guys for spending money on a gold-plated vibrator- on the same day they were attacking some televangelist for owning a huge house. It was the final push I needed to stop taking anyone on the Internet seriously.

>Exploding kittens.
>edgy
The whole game is about avoiding exploding your kittens.

What can I say? Without double standards...


...they wouldn't have any.

It was at least mildly funny until that last one. Shit, dude.

>stop taking anyone on the Internet seriously

Some parts of the Internet are better than others. By all means, cast down the redditor, but there are better places where sanity still rules.

Some people just want to watch holes be dug I suppose.

I feel like there's a difference between these guys explicitly doing something for shits and giggles and a televangelist preying on the vulnerable.

The funniest thing about that was the FAQ

>Q: Why are you digging a hole? Why don't you donate the money to charity?
>A: Why don't YOU donate the money to charity?

Is it really preying if they hand out a sense of community and self-worth in return? Parasitic maybe, but preying?

So these guys can explicitly blow money for fun and that's badwrongfun; but the televangelist you're giving the benefit of the doubt of his intentions for excessive revenues?

Strange person.

This gave me an idea friends.

We need to do something similar; set up a niche fund for something stupid to get us a lot of money. Then, we'll set up a fund where we finance the dreams of all the anons on Veeky Forums who aspire to something better. Over time, we'll become our own self-sustaining company, and then we will immediately liquidate our assets to some cutthroat capitalists, and buy a fuckload of minis/cardboard like god intended.

It is a bit retarded, but if nothing else there's always writing up your own tranny jokes on the blank cards.

Apples To Apples

The difference is, if you're giving to a church there's an assumption that it's going to be used for maintenance of the church first, and whatever else there is will be used to do charity or missionary work.

If you're giving money to something like CAH, first of all they didn't say what they were going to do, so you're leaving it up to them, but it's a pretty solid assumption that they're going to be using it for fucking around anyway. So people are getting what they paid for.

...

>free shipping

ONLY FUCK!
WHAT A DEAL!