Hello everybody and welcome to Veeky Forums...

Hello everybody and welcome to Veeky Forums, the board where everything's made up and the experience points are sort of like my cocaine habbit - the more you give me the stronger I'll become!

Today we'll be playing a game called Scenes from a Hat: Veeky Forums Edition! If you don't know how the game works, we carefully collected suggestions from fellow elegan/tg/entlemen and randomized them in this hat. I'll select the scene suggestions and we'll see what kind of responses we get!

The bard's last words.

"Can I seduce it?"

Hey guys these are my last words

"Fear not, I shall pacify this beast with song!"

"I'll lull the tarrasque to sleep with my music"

There's no way that chieftain will be mad I banged his daughter.

"Poor and nobles, ye hear the song about our beloved Queen and her bastard son!"

What the Lich is actually thinking.

I've got a bone to pick with that guy.

There isn't even a Phil in here

Are my sperm also zombies? Do I still need to wear a condom?

My feet would hurt, IF I COULD STILL FEEL THEM

Was this all worth it? Yes Absolutely it was

Am I really not as big of an issue as gay marriage?

What are you going to do? Stab me?

I really want to eat a fucking apple right now.

top kek

kek

Why the fuck are these people calling me Koshchey Bessmertnyi? My name is Echnaton.

Nuh nah nuh nah nuh, bad to the bone.

I get this reference

I don't.

That Guy is at it again.

*slap*

"No, you can't spend the night in the stables you sick fuck."

>I roll Perception too
But you're on the other side of the room doing your own thing
>18, what do I find

Take Guy off it, save His Magesty and the Parliament, execute Guy on the fifth of November.

what are you gonna do? stab me?

So you are telling me you are just playing an Arcane Trickster to long distance sleight of hands girls panties?

So you're a tech-savvy, smooth-talking, super-strength Force-wielding Ewok clone who dual wields flame cannons....

No, she isn't a 200 years old vampire loli

I'm requesting the storycap about the lich, the gay marriage, and the SJW party.

Oh, right, nevermind. I remember now. I haven't slept in 2 days.

When natural 20s go wrong.

>You strike true and cleave the giant's legs off
>Roll a Dex save

"Convince orcs to let us go", you said.
"Use your charm", you said.

>roll perception
>stuck in the Total Perception Vortex from the hitchhiker's guide

This

Graffiti found in the dungeon restrooms.

"Call me if you wanna have fun". Followed by a true name and magic seal to summon a succubus.

explosive rune

Holy shit I just put this on as I came on Veeky Forums. This is fucking crazy.

OP is Satan.

>I roll to seduce the dragon
>okay then, do that
>nat 20!
>good job, you seduced the dragon, should've checked if it was a girl first.

ORC scratched into the bathroom stall door with a knife

the gloryhole is a triangle

"MAGRALORGE OF THE 19TH SATANS WAS HERE"

SECUNDUS SHAT HERE

Ohhh no.

The BBEG's secret hobby.

PC gaming

Minorly inconveniencing random peasants.

juggling

Collecting suits of armor/accessories, lining them up in his sanctum like Lego Minifigs

Live-Action Roleplaying

Shit posting on Veeky Forums

Crafting and painting toy soldiers.
Knitting.

He's been trying to work the same Paladin into various friends' campaigns for the past fifteen years. It hasn't worked yet, and several have kicked him from their gaming groups for just wanting to play a kittenrescuelord.

Adventuring

Murderhoboing at it's finest.

Escape artist check to climb anus.

Party tries to take advantage of the poor and destitute, suddenly you have Hobo with a Shotgun shit going down

Epic adventure turns into prison break RPG

>"I cast magic missle at the darkness"

Christ these replies are weak.

BBEG personals ads.

Veeky Forums just ain't what it used to be

Hi my name Deathlor the Destroyer, I live in a castle located on Mt. Death. I live a pretty humble life, treat my servants pretty well, I mean, I control their every thought and emotion, but I still treat them well. I command an army of the undead, which I typically have to use to kick trespassers off my mountain property. I have multiple bedrooms though most have been converted to storage for my endless riches, what hasn't been looted by local thieves sneaking into my castle. I just find my life is empty, like I'm missing something, and I hope to find a nice wench who won't mind me controlling her mind and making her do my every bidding... but you know, you'll be treated pretty well just like all my servants.

>natural
>fucking
>20
Veeky Forums was never funny.

Things you can say about the Deck of Many Things, but not about your girlfriend.

"I expected much worse"

This was worth all my gold.

I might one day get to experience it.

That was a great trade, we should do this again.

What a shitty hand

If the party's tragic backstories included product placement.

I found out later that the only woman i ever loved had AIDS and didn't told me. thanks Durex

I 3D printed my sword during the assault with a super fast makerbot machine

"..... a tremendous thirst for vengance, seconded only to my thirst for HoneyHollow Ale"

World's Worst Rogue.

conan the barbarian

Finds it dishonorable to fight unless it's 1v1

That Guy is at it again.

"There's no limit to how many flaws I can take, right?"

"alright my character is a goblin mage name..."
"Why are you guys laughing? STOP IT! LIKE YOUR GAY ASS ELFEN RANGER IS BETTER!!!"