What's the CUH RAYZEE God/s in your setting like?

What's the CUH RAYZEE God/s in your setting like?

We have a god in my setting named Super Retardo. He was once a mortal, being a doppleganger of one of the PC's, and was promptly cracked in the head with a shillelagh for max damage, which I, being an idiot, deemed made him retarded.

Then, for some fucking reason, I could not stop rolling threes for his attack rolls. I shit you not, I must've rolled five in a row.

Finally, we nicknamed him Super Retardo and he ended up dying when his arm got bit off in the chaos of battle, at which point my sleep deprived brain said "And the angels sung thrice, and Super Retardo ascended, our Lord of Threes ascending beyond holiness."

So, now my pantheon has Super Retardo, the God of the Number 3, and whenever someone rolls a natural 3, we all say, in unison "All praise!", because we must praise His Name.

tl;dr: An enemy NPC got turned retarded and became the God of the Number 3 in my pantheon.

God of Jesters, Fools, and Illusions.

I plan to have players have to hold off his avatar while he makes an attempt at the royal line of a recently totalitarian state.
Both parties are in the right and also in the extreme. Some Law-aligned outsiders will be either allies our enemies depending on which they choose.

Any of the gods that ascended by being supernaturally fabulous.

>Harken
>God of Hats, Guns, One-liners, Freedom, Slavery
>A dudebro cowboy with demons sealed in his hat and guns, Wakfu style
>Rides a clockwork unicorn names Mr Sparkles who has the personality of Eeyore
>Wished for an army of 100 aquatic vampire sorcerers to be his loyal servants

>E'niele Scorpius Octavio the Fifth of His Name
>God of Beauty
>Every article of clothing he wears is a gaudy magic item enchanted with a different effect, like lime-green boots that make the ground light up under your feet
>Has a cane of infinite wild magic encrusted with countless jewels making a rainbow
>Also has a parasol made of drow silk and the baculum of a red dragon
>After becoming a god, he went on to found "The E'niele Scorpius Octavio the Fifth of His Name School for Wayward and Fabulous Orphans"

>Tysandrel "Ty" Neighwiener, a.k.a. The Funslinger
>God of parties and music videos
>Has two guns named Bingo and Bango he uses to shoot fireworks
>Ascended when he got a critial success on a skill that forces people to dance and turned two clans of feuding hillbillies into a perfectly choreographed musical number

>Steven Wozniak the Space Cowboy
>God of Computers
>Has two sentient guns named Ziggy and Stardust
>Exactly what you'd expect from the name

And many more. I should have expected as much when I worked into the setting that PCs can ascend and become part of the setting's mythology.

[BAZINGA]

The Three Deaths. Counted as a singular god, each of them represents a facet of loss; physical death of the body, menntal 'death' (forgetfulness and insanity), and spiritual death (falling into hedonism, forsaking sacred vows). Mostly, they ended up acting like the Three Stooges.
Three Stooges that were trying to kill our PCs with the Power Cosmic and mind games, but the Three Stooges.

Haven't come up with a name for him yet, other than calling him The Jester.
In my setting's history, there have been about three different divine pantheons, each usurping the other. The Jester has been in all three, seemingly unscathed when his fellow gods were murdered, maimed and enslaved.
Currently MIA along with the newer pantheon after Heaven exploded.

Beau: Was an old character of mine which the rest of the party decided he eventually ascended to godhood (he had achieved demigod status before I left). He became the god of madness, darkness (I think) and assassins. A halfling rogue that wasnt actually crazy but I had an average intelligence score and little knowledge of magic when I acquired a new magical outfit that could transform between opulent garb and pitch-blakc leather armor whenever I wished. However, the suit also had a rather powerful enchantment on top of this otherwise almost mundane effect: it was sentient but not with one personality but two. A lawful evil, but mostly just evil, personality which was stronger when wearing the noble's outfit and then a chaotic good persona for the leather armor adept as sneak-thiefery. Not only did these two personalities quarrel while I was wearing the outfit but they only spoke to Beau through telepathy so no one else could hear them. Stack this on top of Beau's lack of magical understanding and so he just spoke out loud to the two entities speaking to his mind and he came off like a crazy person always talking out loud to himself. It was very fun to play out in character, with the DM passing me notes and me just loudly saying my responses and the party asking me what the fuck was wrong with me. In any event, Beau eventually became a demigod by helping another ascend to godhood and having him raise Beau. Then i left the campaign since it was over and went off to a different college and while I was away, my old group decided Beau eventually became a god which was my intent anyway.

Most of the gods are deluded somehow. They are parts of a perfect whole, and as such, are imperfect.

The god of craft and innovation is basically a mech. His severed head lies at the bottom of a tunnel network, and was discovered by a race of lowly subterranean post-humans. The mech-god has entertained his paranoia in the dark, alone, for thousands of years, and now has a laundry list of suspects. Who beheaded him? Who destroyed heaven? He now uses the subteranneans to his own ends in exchange for miraculous technologies. He intends to invade the surface world with his slaves once his body is rebuilt, so that he may find the god that cast him from heaven and destroy all that he has done in the meanwhile.

I actually really fucking like that, that's cool as hell. If you're here, do you care to elaborate?

>ctrl+f no xom

I'm disappointed with all of you

>Steven Wozniak the Space Cowboy

But is he using his godly powers to keep the universe safe from the spiders from Mars, and will when he finally succumbs to those terrors the world end when the Starman descends and blows our minds?

Shamelessly ripped off of Coyote

The Authority of Evil is the reigning power over the mortal world and the planes below. He usually appears as a mummified corpse dressed as a cross between a harlequin and a cleric, moving like a marionette to the pull of shadowy tendrils. He's more or less nigh-omnipotent, and he runs the world.

The CUHH RAYZEE comes in when he's looking for a change of pace and decides to walk the world and try out some new tricks or experiments, or just wants to talk to/mess with some mortals, and this isn't even remotely uncommon. This usually isn't directly responsible for any apocalyptic event. Most of the time, it's not even anything too major.

Evil will just involve itself in some random event, in some random individuals life, and will do something. Maybe provide a few helpful suggestions. Give them a shot at something they really want. Offer them a deal. Show up in their house and steal all their food, while leaving an artifact of power behind as payment. Then he watches.

The Black Raven is the closest our setting has to a "chaos god" entity, though he/she/it is really closer to a demon than not. It represents various facets of all the negative aspects of the world- Sickness, poverty, disease, war, natural disasters, etc- And by "represents" I mean it absolutely delights in spreading those things whenever it decides to take mortal form.

For example, shortly after being born, it decided to use its power to plunge the then-largest empire into total ruin. War erupted between noble houses, the land and crops withered, lakes and rivers dried up, the skies turned black with ash and soot, and about a third of the population died from various plagues, and those that didn't were corrupted by dark magic and turned into bird-monsters. Why?

No real reason. It just wanted to see that particular empire fall because it thought it would be fun.

wow. that's stupid and awful. you're stupid and awful.

Almost word for word, yes. The session before he ascended, he captured an alien spider that had taken over a parking garage.

this makes me laugh cause i am retarded.

all i hear is "stop having fun wrong"

I sometimes use the concept of a clever mortal that tricked his/her way into godhood. But the mortal mind lacks the stamina and patience of immortality, so they constantly fuck around with mortals twisting their fates in hilarious ways whether it is bad or good.

there was a god of kings but everyone decided to lock him in his room and then proceeded to forget where the door was

Got the Diety of true Chaos, Lord Fahf, or just Fahf. Or whatever he feels like being called that day. He is a jovial, if tricky soul, who is just as likely to save someone's life with a herd of puppies as he is to end someone's life with a sudden growth spurt of Bamboo. At my table, if you cock a die, you invoke Fahf, and he gets to meddle in events. Due to this, he once kidnapped a horse who might have either hurt or hindered one of my players, by flying down in a shower of bubbles and riding the now diminuative horse up into the sky.

He may seem "Lolrandumb" at first glance, but he is actually far less idiotic. Rather than a moronic god with tumblritis, he is rather brilliant, attempting to thwart his exact opposite, the Diety of Order, Lady Judicia, by throwing off the "correct" turn of events for mortals.

Ah, I see His Grace is with you as well.

Stupid and awful is the entire point. You seem like a drag. this guy gets it.

I don't have any

CHEESE HAHA

The kind that likes to destroy a city by dropping just one coin in just the right spot to create a series of events that destroyed half a city and inspired a royal mathematician to create chaos theory

That's one of the stupidest things I've heard all day. I love it.

Probably one of my absolute favorite things is taking weird happenstance like the number 3 thing and working it into the story.

>At my table, if you cock a die, you invoke Fahf, and he gets to meddle in events
>Rather than a moronic god with tumblritis, he is rather brilliant, attempting to thwart his exact opposite, the Diety of Order, Lady Judicia, by throwing off the "correct" turn of events for mortals
That's... actually a pretty genuinely interesting mechanic, user. Please tell me more.

He's not so much crazy as extremely depressed. His followers used to be required to visit his temple and commune with him in order to "level up" their profession, hitting the EXP threshhold wasn't enough. Eventually he decided this was kind of hardassed and too much work so he changed things so his followers level automatically like everyone else, but once he did that people stopped visiting his temples. Now he's got one priest and one temple and any visitors are generally just tourists. He spends his time drowning himself in ambrosia and regretting his decisions.

There is a minor god in my setting that is basically just a streaker. He runs around the world in the nude as he makes fun of people and gets them to try and catch him but no one ever has cause well.. he's a god. Literally the only thing he does. He has since become the god of revelry, competition, and game but he doesn't own up to any of that. He's just a divine being who loves playing tag.