What is the silliest monster you put in your games that's still a genuine threat to your party?

>reverse centauricorns
So they were... people with unicorn heads?

A horde of thousands of retarded, subterranean lizard men, along with their massive queen.

How horrifying

Pic related. None of my players have seen the movie or its remake. And likely will not. I am mostly basing it off the book version.

So far its fun. Game is Call of Cthulhu.

Like that, except with a torso or arms, so just the unicorn head and human legs. The had no digestive system and terrible balance, which by the crazy logic of the setting meant that they had to eat a hundred times their weight in human flesh a day to survive and had the speed and strength to accomplish that. They were really fucking terrifying. The moment a party member was knocked unconscious was when the entire hoard converged upon his unconscious body in a feeding frenzy, giving us no opportunity to save anyone that was downed, unlike every previous combat where the greatest threat of death to us were ourselves.

meant to say "without a torso or arms"

Giant toads. The party was ambushed in a swamp by four of them, nearly got eaten alive. It also didn't help that the mud was actually 40% tar and they used fire spells, causing the mud to light on fire and spread, cutting off their exit and requiring a dashing leap through the flames.

I also ran a session with attractive mermen leading the party to die by horrible fish women.

>All of that
That sounds absolutely horrifying what the fuck, user.

please tell me more

Giant nannerpuss. I gave it a thing to where when it hit half health it slapped around in several different directions and it managed to finish off the fighter and down the wizard.

The DM hinted that they are scattered across the multiverse, possibly originating from a home plane just chock full of them, close to bursting. It was my only game with him, but his other players confirmed that these abominations premiere in all his campaigns. The ones we ran into this time were an organized crime ring and a smuggling operation, wore fedoras, and introduced themselves with "whiney".

>They're sentient
I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse, honestly.

I got tired of my party just dumping their mounts everywhere so I have their dead horses rise as revenants and pursue them.

It's another episode of "Dm had a bad mushroom/dmt trip but he'll if I can use that in a campaign"

Calzone golem. Only newfags won't recognize where it's from.

The game was at university. I don't know him well enough to know if he was taking drugs, but I know he's a mathematics and philosophy major if that contributes to anything.

Troll Santa Claus, and his magic flying reindeer squad, including a special one that shot heat rays out its nose.

We had these magical beasts called Rabbers.
Rabbers were, basically, humans with rabbit heads like pic related.
Fuckers were vicious, they were sentient but they couldn't talk and were absolutely insane.
They swarmed the party and atacked with axes, they ran like motherfuckers and could jump houses.
They ended up killing 3 out of 5 characters, and the other two only survived because they stole two horses and ran the fuck away. The characters ended up with PTSD and couldn't even come close to rabbits without having panic atacks.

>that sentence
bad 'shrooms goin round, man...

They were sent to save a princess. It was a trap. The whole room - complete with well-stocked wardrobe (dresses, gowns, lingerie, you name it) - was an army of animated objects, cloakers, mimics, and the like, and the room itself was a genius locus.

Did I hear the words "underage gangbang?"

A Halfling Ranger/Paladin with a Giant Rabbit animal companion that also counted as his paladin mount in 3.5e.

He rode around on it with a lance and plate armour, he frequently served as a friend/kinda rival to the party. Until the time they uncovered his background story where the rabbit was actually the old king who went missing years ago, and the Halfling was actually a servant of the new king who was going around brutally murdering anyone who might oppose him.

All those Paladin levels ended up being Blackguard ones.

During the first DnD campaign I ever DM'ed, the party had a random encounter with a Cryo-Hydra in a swamp. They beat it up pretty quickly, but it managed to escape into a bog a swim away before they could finish it.

For the rest of the campaign, the party kept joking that the Cryo-Hydra would come back and attack them when they least suspected it, seeking revenge.

We reach the last session. The BBEG had some kind of ultimate weapon he would unleash. I was hyping it up for quite some time, having entire villages laid to waste, but the party had no idea what it was.

Finally, in the last battle, the BBEG unleashed his ultimate weapon...

MECHA CRYO-HYDRA

An audiophile lich who gave us massive debuffs by playing shitty music, it was at this point the GM (my brother) starts playing music from my collection
example: youtube.com/watch?v=Naf5uJYGoiU

What a classic. A silly, silly classic.

If you said monsters and childish things. Then I would be really concerned. For the players safety.

Don't have an image but his name is
"Rickety Cricket" he's a gaint 5ft tall bi-pedial cricket that wears a top hat and can move at flash speeds.
He mostly fucks with the party from time to time and has multiple personality disorder.

A talking pig that whenever they hit it it became larger and tougher to hurt. They attempted to use volume/size ratios to kill it. it responded with "Its magic genius! The Zodiac court cares not for your pitiful science." Then it got stuck in a gorge, and was unable to move.

Creepy af. I'm definitely adding a few of them in my campaign

King is such a weirdo.

My Dark Heresy group fought a Tzaangor, which I accidentally made comical because how the fuck do you make scary bird noises? It then proceeded to nearly kill one PC and an NPC, by itself.

My GM homebrewed a monster called a "buttsqueazel", which would lurk in dark areas and reach out and grab you with its horribly long and strong arms, dragging you away to death.

The thing's face, when we saw one, was a dead ringer for her husband's.

I will defiitely add them to my campaign. Very creepy

Movie's end was literally a dungeon and a boss fight.

The Carp.

>>Playing Delta Green
>>Key witness is a child in a hospital, surrounded by armed police and dozens of media reporters trying to figure out what just happened at some spooky location
>>Players are half cops, half random friendlies
>>Use disguise and persuade rolls to make it inside the cop's perimeter
>>Want an interview with the girl
>>Have to face Mr. Eryle

Pic related. An imbecile of a child psychologist, who uses a sock puppet of Sigmund Freud to communicate with abused children, rolled a crit to realize they were all out of place, had zero jurisdiction, and might be conducting a private investigation of their own. The party just barely got away, and are now plotting an attempt to beat the information out of Mr. Eryle in his office.

A bear with tentacles, that was inexplicably found in the middle of an asteroid turned into space station.

A burning emaciated corpse that ran like a girl and made a high pitched screaming sound.

It almost wiped the party.

lol

...

A giant beaver.

Would you have problem if i steal your idea,

Just a unicorn head on human legs?

Audrey 2.
A giant carnivorous potted plant spellcaster that ruled a tribe of vegepygmies.
I had fun with it. They players did too, judging by the Tiefling who protested that she shouldn't be eaten first because she was currently pollinating.

>All these crazy answers
>Not going back to the basics

Flumphs

Specifically, Flumph guards in the underdark. Party murderhoboed one trying to give a hand.

TPK.

Don't fuck with Flumphs.

...

>tpk
Cr1! How!?

>Attacking a fucking flumph
>Flumphs are universally friendly to adventurers because "oh god finally, someone who isn't absolutely pure evil down here!"
Are your players idiots?

Why not have a Flumph Paladin riding a Flail Snail.

>Flumph: "Onward my noble steed! To victory!"

Least it wasn't a Zombie Giant Sponge.

Our DM sicced a pack of Howlbears on us once. Nearly wiped half the party.

*Those* aren't mobile.

But what if they were?

...
Pull the lever.

But sir, the Sponges are capable of flight! There's no guarantee the lever will even work!

>[SCREAMS SEMIPOROUSLY]!

Obligatory "it was a train, not a gangbang, REEEEEEE"

Then shut and lock the doors! We have a well and internal farms, we'll leave the monster to the seasonal traders!

Srsly. It was first game for them. I prepared cute little village, quest chain, some forest cult etc.
First thing they say to me that "We want something with alot of crafting and freedom like df", ditch all the hooks and go fishing to "amass food for the winter".
I throw a fishmonster with maxed out physical stats at them.

Like really a bad thing to do, but it worked. They throw away /v/ision and start playing they characters

FLAIL
SNAIL

Wasn't a gangbang though. It was a trainwreck.

Four Words:
Awakened
Flail
Snail
Barbarian.

I needed random artefacts to round out an Inquisitorial vault of the Ordo Xenos, and wanted some kind of alien biosample in a stasis field.
I chose pic related off the top of my head; I was really flying by the seat of my pants.
One player, who has a near-suicidal fondness for poking things to see what happens most uncharacteristic of an Astartes of the Carcharodon Astra, decided to disable the stasis field, and it started bobbing.
Then he tried to touch it and it leapt on him, rolling a 10 and a 9 on 2d10+8 Warp Weapon and giving him 1d5 Corruption per round until he could get it off by screaming and thwacking it off his gauntlet with a chainsword.

Large carp. No seriously, we almost had a party wipe from those fuckers.

What kind of beaver are we talking about here?

A "manotaur." As an NPC described it: "One half: man! Other half: DIFFERENT man!"

Also it reared up on its hind legs to quadruple-wield weapons, because of course it did.

I knew a DM who liked to occasionally make extremely weird worlds. He once made a world infested with giant carnivorous hamburgers, with the idea being that the party were in a constant struggle to find food that wouldn't eat them from inside.

So it's like...two dudes arranged in a CatDog configuration? Or two dudes glued back-to-back?

Maybe like Goro from mortal kombat?

A dance-battling mummy monk. Mummy rot still hurts even if it happens because a blinged out undead does a headspin.

...

Oh.

Giant mutant banana-nut muffin monster
fucking thing ate a few thousand citizens before the pcs caused a civil war within an intelligent ant society to get them to devour it
Alpha complex is a silly place

I mean its human enough for me. Infact its alittle extra human.

That is great inspiration. "It" is one of those cases where the book has ten times the depth that the movies and culture would have you believe

A giant monstergirl.

She broke a guy's back and caused massive internal injuries, picking him up and shoving him in her vagina.

So did Beverly, apparently.

I've found a new one.
This is a special day.

Rust Behemoth. It was hilarious for everyone not wearing metal armor since it was like a big puppy dog. Except the paladin, whom promptly shit himself and ran away as it chased after him and ate his armor.

Rape-apes. Half fiend ape that try to rape mortals. They're all female.

Dare ye enter my magical realm?

If you have stats for them I would fucking love them, they're just the right amount of unsettling but mortal I want.

Seriously, what the hell was king thinking

I'm sending my players into a rust monster-infested mine in a session or three, post stats/what system?
I had originally planned for it to be 3 silver dragon hatchlings driven mad by malnutrition from rust monsters eating their egg yolks, but that could work better.

Basically used an Umber Hulk from DnD 5e as a template for stats and slapped on some of the rust monster's traits on it such as being able to smell ferrous metals within a set range, non-magical metal weapons rusting on contact with its body, etc.. Also added an acidic bite attack that does piercing damage and rusts on hit instead of standard normal bite of rust monster.

I have a tradition of making the first encounter of a game starting at level 1 a gang of housecats. They have claimed a few characters over the years. It serves both as a way to break the ice for new players, but also as a humble reminder that sometimes, you get fucked for no good reason.

Another time, a random NPC (a baker, if I remember correctly) one of my players murdered early on kept coming back, increasingly reanimated into stronger and stronger bodies. He wound up replacing the BBEG I had planned on.
By the end of the campaign, he had become an undead cyborg vampire, with touches of fey, demonic, devilish, and angelic origin, had become a petty god of sea birds, had become an efreet, and then became a psionic and literally willed himself back to life one last time, whatever that makes him. He straight-up murdered the previous BBEG after his final big speech in the last fight, and went down for good that time.
After the first fight, he got his own theme, and I've sometimes screwed with those players since by either playing something similar, or just "accidentally" revealing it on the playlist for the night.
He did come back one more time in a game that specifically had a tournament full of weirdos, but that doesn't really count.

He wasn't, he was writing.

Sometimes, when you are writing, you get so involved in the writing and what is going on, you don't stop to think what other people will think. You are writing the piece and what happens is you follow the thought process involved in the writing and just put it on the paper, because that's what would happen in the story with the elements you're already working with. There isn't any consideration for the readership or the editors or the standards of society, there's just the story and how things work within it weather anyone outside of the story cares or not. And when you're finished you look at it and realize, "holy crap, people will shit their pants over this". Then you have the choice to let it stay as is, or rewrite it and hope top whatever powers that may be that you can write somethign half as coherent and suitable for the story to appease those pesky readers and editors.

King chose to let his editor make the decision, and I don't blame him one bit.

I love this guy.

The muscle wizard.
Well, not a monster persee andhe became more of an ally since the group managed to talk it out with him, but he was designed as a freak of nature that uses magic and muscle mass to flex everyone and everything into submission.
He is my favorite.

Love it, weaponise jim

Can confirm, drugs or not- he was crazy. Spinozzaaa! *shakes fist*