ITT: We passionately discuss a wargame that doesn't exist

MAKE FISHMANS VIABLE RHGHGLGHGLGHGLGHGL

Ah, you're actually building Decimation. I've played against one guy in my LGS that does that but it never actually triggers because of the sheer amount of disruption I get from Remote Possession on my Spirit Siamangs that can force squad changes and therefore waste vital setup orders.

"no"

>go to LGS for a game
>got my army of Comic Sailors build around turn 3 jenga rush
Dont you fuckers dare to say Im WAACfagging its not even half as powerfull as in 4th ed.
>my opp is some fatguy
>of course plays 7 (seven) Scream Wizards
>didnt even know its legal
>apparently you can buy 4 for 30 points and each additional one for $2.50
>we roll d7, turn 1 goes to him
>proceeds to wipe my guys out of board
>my turn
>I draw planetary explosion, red circle with four spikes and a four of spades
>notagain.jpeg
>a this point I have only two corvettes and a light battlecrouiser
>decide to go all in
>roll two green and bananas on action dice
>go battle speed with my corvettes and charge his Scream Wizzards
>wipe half of them at meele
>powerhammercannons.fuckyeah
>decide to use the 4 of spades
>He uses Colorfull Counter
>I finish rubik's cube first, fatguy is shaking now
>It resolves wiping his imaginary dragon and a forcing his gebirgsjäger platoon to flee
>tfw I control 4 of the victory points to his 0
>game ends by end of my turn
>dude just starts screaming
>flips the table and lets his autistic battle cry out
>Calls me a fag for playng Consmic Sailors in 13ed
>mfw

Your that guy stories?

Lore-wise, do you think the Verdant Order tolerates homosexuality within its ranks or perhaps even, encourages it?

Possibly, seeing as every Verdant player is massive faggot

It's a bait-and-switch for their secret enforcers to execute heretics of the Chartreuse Concord since the only sexual thing allowed is pollination. That hasn't stopped people from misinterpreting the Verdants as omnisexuals for some reason.

If Remote Possession is enough to disrupt his setup, he's not running a stable enough Leynode Projection. Also, I can't stress the importance of the Six Faces of Enlightenment.

>go to LGS
>opponent isn't from around here
>showed up because the store was running a tournament, and the winner got a prerelease pack of Neofishmen
>Fielded literally nothing but Bloodsploders and a Reanimator Tower
>He actually spent over half of his points on a building
>One of those "cost a shitton of money, aren't actually meant to be run by players, designed for stores and events" buildings
>Turn one, he rushed his 'sploders in and went for the guaranteed damage, 'sploding them all
>Then the tower revived them all, mid-combat phase
>He repeated this, chuckling smugly until I was tabled
>Didn't even get a turn
>Bragged about his "strategy"
>Did this to every other player, won the Neofishmen, and then left

>Neofishmen
this meme needs to end

Fishmans were only intended as an ally pick for Pipe Bozos, and they work well in their intended role. Making them a full faction was a mistake. They have nothing going for them as a faction but the cute mermaid models.

>same aesthetic
>same gameplay
>some of their units use the same models
>literally only difference is that they're called the Tideslurpers

>Bloodsploders
Oh god I hate them so much. I'm fucking tired of always putting Tableflippers in every tournament list just on the off-chance someone fields them.
Tableflippers are shit. SHIT.

Man I had some great games today.

2000pts of my Vampire Counts up against my opponents Warriors of Chaos it was fantastic. The second was me and a Tomb Kings player teaming up on an Empire and Bretonnian player on a crusade themed battle.

Haven't had a great game day like that in ages.

Leynode does jack and shit if I project from between two Ghastly Gibbons that are equipped with Spell Lenses. That is an often overlooked combo that pierces almost every form of spell resistance AND boosts the speed gain from possession that then allows them to bust groups even more effectively. I can even combo them with a Gorillageist that has Ritual Chimes to explode the possession to corrupt a whole formation at once. Shit requires a lot of orders to be invested, but utterly ruins any formation strategy. Rushdown can fuck me up, though.

Scream Wizards are the chemo to the Bloodsploder cancer. Scream auras slow the 'sploders enough so that they can't suicide rush as effectively.

Got this badboy from tournament after wiping some noobs. Will he be playable in modern neofishmen lists?

Yes, but Scream Wizards synergize with the rest of my list even worse than Tableflippers. It's build around Green Things buffed with Sugar Rush, and their See Food rule doesn't let me put Scream Wizards in range unless I'm really lucky with the deployment chit throw.

Barely. You need dustswimmers to compete in most meta maps, and he synergizes well with them in that he can crush when he's delivered into the midst of an enemy line. His low mobility overall just cripples him and he sucks against the big Scream Wizard lists that are sweeping right now.

But they have really nice uses against most lists, especially as a counter to dedicated Scream Wizards. You don't need much range against 'sploders since the radius from the front lines is enough. Tell me how you use Tableflippers.

Wasn't he killed, fried and eaten in some metaplot game? That would disqualify him for any official event.

...

And that is precisely why I have the Six Faces. As a Reaction, I can kill an entire squad of Cubelings to add their total Structural Integrity Lines to my Resistance Dice. Cubelings are dirt cheap this edition, so I have lots of fuel. Then, when they die, the Pattern Network I use allows for me to autocast Decimation with the nearest two squads of Priests.

...

Metaplot is convoluted and there's almost always conflicting information, but yes, that did happen. Remember when three different versions of the official webzine released that had wildly different recollections of the events of the Crush Skirmish at Bungoid pass and then the company only released information after 9 months that said that two of the 'zines were canon but not which ones were?

That must be it. I never see Six Faces since it plays badly against the strangely common Sandwisp Brigade hybrid toolkit deck and negation infantry organization. Shit is ran by 1/3 of my LGS and I don't know why.

>Tell me how you use Tableflippers
I basically just provoke bloodsploding prematurely with Unsufferability. I don't have enough money to buy any additional equipment.

>Skub: The Thread

You need to shell out on something so they have at least marginal utility against those fuckers that play solitaire and don't field a single unit.

>Playing against some guy I don't know
>He deploys an Incarnation of Alcoholism with two Purple Lanterns
>Okay, it's strong but a huge pointsink, and the lanterns don't even stack. I can do this.
>He proceeds to run around with the IoA and break LoS constantly
>I'm wiping put the rest of his troops in the meantime
>His turn
>"I play Sign of Wroggohloblbl"
>How? You only have one Purple Lantern in the deployment zone and those two on IoA
>He points at the lanterns on IoA
>They are hanging from the very ends of those tentacles or whatever those are
>"They're exactly 2.411 inches apart, and lanterns work when carried by models."
>Fuck
>I measure every signline twice
>FUCK
>It's legit
>He managed to form the Sign of Wroggohloblbl by carrying two lanterns on a single model
I couldn't even be mad at him, that's just ingenious.

If you have to explain the joke it isn't funny. Are newfags really that clueless?

Man wotC needs to nerf newfags. Mirroden really lowered their headcannon, you with me frity?

Scream whiners just need to git gud. They're easy to counter with a few yagmon coalition runecasters spirit casting manaward , locking them out of their power cards while your reikland redcoats secure the dropzones.

Fishmen are the most overpowered bullshit at the moment that nobody has clocked because they're too busy shitting themselves about scream wizards. Entire army gets , 9d8 sharp dice per turn, mass bubble immunity shields, hydro cannon spam and can 'go fish' every phase for free fucking power cards

The new minis for Eldritch Regnum look pretty awesome.

Can't wait to build me an army of Drogbars , once I finish my current army of Dantallion Exodus I will begin with those folks.

>been playing Fungal since 2ed
>eventually settle on using almost exclusively mad dwarves
>get the dwarf explosion AND spore spreading on every death
>get a chain reaction of death and spawning new units for me
>new edition hits
>dwarf hp go up by FIFTY PERCENT
>explosion radius down by A WHOLE INCH
>enemy can now easily position himself before killing my units
>tier 2 strategy suddenly completely useless
I have hundreds of these fuckers. Might just go back to mushroom trees and play tower defense.

ITT: faggots that weren't here for the original thread and are breaking continuity

OUT OF MY WAY CORBYN FUCKING SHITS!!! HELIOMANCER MASTER RACE COMING THROUGH!!!

>TFW someone tries to get my troops from behind and my mammoth riders in the back thrash him hardcore
Post times you BTFO the enemy

git gud, okay, I'll buy it.

But how the fuck do I keep my redcoats on the table long enough to DO anything? it's the ur-example of a good unit that is vulnerable to every special attack and effect.

I'm getting teleported to the next table, Terroscreamed into running off the table, wiped by 'sploders or I lose them to succubi and get the fun of getting shot by my own guys.

If you have gun bitz in a box somewhere you should be able to convert to dwarf cossaick dismounts w/spore-blight.

Tough shooty blob and blight gives you some really useful immunties?

>playing 40k with a buddy.
>my chaos vs his IG guard
>he fields a bunch of ratling snipers unironically
>turn one rush and wipe them

>40k
Literally what?
Is that your internet speed? I have no idea what you're talking about

honestly at this point if you still play Meta-nietzcheans just end it now famalam

I spent more than $2000 pain-stakingly painting and modeling these fucking bastards and of course GAME COMPANY tears the army book a new one this edition. as per usual. i'm sick of being abused

Your big problem is that you kept letting him break LOS, what you need to do is get right up inside his minimum range and then mob his units but not attack them, because filling his LOS with nothing but your units means he can't see the lanterns to use them.

The other method is the Goat lord counter, but that all depends on how much THICC is allowed per flushot in that campaign.

You know, you could try Grey Legion. After years of being a footnote in the army books, the rules about them are pretty close to your robo-apathists. Hell, they even allow old school Metas as part of the detachments.

What you need is a distraction.
Use a Sharknado Man. He's relatively cheap, hard to kill, and looks intimidating. You'll get at least a turn of everything your opponent has hitting him instead of the redcoats, and if you can't win with that, you can't win at all.

Is GAME COMPANY stupid or what?
In the latest errata units bewitched by succubi are immune to mental effects for a turn. This was probably done to stop the infamous succubi tug-of-war, I understand. But now you can just charm your units with your own succubi and get a turn of immunity to half of the arsenal of, for example, Musical Frogs. That's a whole faction hard-countered by a single unit.

I've already got two Corey Feldmen with Magma Casters. Is SN Man really that good a fire sink? I can never get the math right on Saves/HP/Coin Flips/Sharks that keep him on the table.

If you run the full Money Frog Band you deserve it. I'm here to have a War, not a goddamn dance party with half of the units doing stupid Mind Control ticks while you try and whittle down my army with the three units you deployed that have a real attack.

but yes succubi are a fucking blight used by perverts that just want to run an army of Zaftig Succubi Domina.

It isn't in the long haul, but when all you need is one turn you can discard Sharks to delay the save rolls until the end of the turn.

Bring back Bretonnians!

I want to get into GAME. Which army has the best asses?

Don't hate the player, hate the GAME COMPANY.

Succubi

Zaftig Succubus Domina is the best unit in current edition. You steal fodder for her or force everyone to run a seduction proof skeletons or golems or mushrooms out of the fear of what she might do. By the time she is on the board you've already fucked with the other guys plans and warped the meta to favor you.

It's the art of war. he spends the whole battle reacting to your plan instead of doing his own.

>Brents are imaginary now and fit into this thread

Too soon man, too soon.

There are other counters to her, like buying initiative and hairlocking her with Pseudobarbers on the first turn, or running Chill Smoker to make her waste invocations on hallucination tokens. But yes, Zaftig is OP and in a dire need of a nerf. Maybe limit the lipstick applications?

She dosn't need a nerf, she needs a meta that can handle her. Everyone can do something to counter her either organic to their army or with allies/mercenaries.

Going bad hair day on her with pseudobarbers is stupid but it works so it isn't stupid anymore and I think anybody can buy them as mercs.

Barbers are unreliable. If you can't get the first turn - if the other guy brought e.g. No Eyes Not Dragon to beat your initiative bids, or a Wind-up Custodes Captain-General to shuffle turns - you're shit out of luck.

Damn, more like SAFTIG, amirite?

What do you guys feel about new faction, the Sky Baboons, apparently they have have amazing drop down attacks and can attack with 24d2's each

Honestly, they could've just base the faction on Dropbears, who already exist and have models. But no, they want to sell new minis.

Well I plan on using them in the new formation included in this months issue of Blazing Pipers Gaming magazine™. Hopefully I can finnaly win over the wizard/boat combo

I guarantee everyone who's not planning to use this formation spent all this time inventing ways to defeat it.

Have a freebie: be wary of Hobomancers in squads of two.

I want to field a 4000 point Goat Lord faction.

So basically 2 Goat Lords, a shepherd and a bag of penny farthings.

Does that make me that guy? I am nerfing myself with the shepherd, I just wanna play for fun.

>plays goats
>2goat lards
>Not being that guy.
>having fun

People like you should be fucking executed.

Hey, I could have used the card of unusual costs and fielded 3 Goat Lords and a marginally disturbed sheep.

But I didn't.

So fuck you halfway to Hades, and the Goat too.

...

Well, at that point just shove in a redneck, instead of the sheep i mean, if you have to cancer up your games, at least do it in an honourable way.

Why should I ever, EVER equip 89s to my troops when I can take 87s for double the bang and half the distribution pts? Do they even proof-read the shit they post in the troops books?

Yeah but if I add the redneck that means I have to get rid of the penny farthings AND I have to roll for incest every turn.

There's cancers and then there's cancer, I just wanted to field a fun Goat Lord army instead of the usual fucking meta. Also all my cousins are guys and I'm not fucking them, on the grounds that I'm straight and they are already as inbred as fuck.

If you're playing Goat Lords be sure to place a Goat Tower for those unit conversion shenanigans, there's nothing more hilarious than converting an opponent's Yellich into a Sacrificial Kid.

Have fun actually htting anyone with your tiny range

Actually I was using the bicycle summon/woollen cannon skillset.

I take the penny farthings, cast violate an them throw the bag at the other player. While they drop to the floor in pain, any units I can knock off the table by whipping them with a wollen scarf count as being molested for the rest of the game.

Yeah it's itchy with the scarf and I'm a shit throw, but that's when I can use the shepherd to cast furious lust and you know the rest.

That's unfortunate.
I had a friend that played with rednecks (before the renew of last year I mean).
With the right setup (ex. Using moonshiners to boost theyour incest roll chance) you can put on the field so many inbreed mongrels your enemy will literally cry his eyes out.
Too bad they've loads of counters now is pointless.

Why are the rockschifters so bad this edition? I remember soloing great Ulgrabb Logfootn with them I previous editions

Rockschifters were actually pretty balanced, sad to see them get hit with the nerf bat.

I suppose they were a little too flexible.

GAMES COMPANY wants their latest STORMBORN IMMORTALS to be the big cool dudes now, no cool Earth elementals anymore.

The meta changed since then. Setting up tickle traps is harder now, pillowfights are no longer OP, more models can take Protective Underwear, extermination dice aren't so good now that every player wears protective equipment to games.

I own 7 Big Green Meanies, how useful are they?

I haven't had much time to follow the latest updates. I heared Tesla-Cats are still good, but you can't spam that as good as before. Also, which colour sheme should I paint my Nekomancers?

I guess he means that stupid BATTLEMACE 42 MILLION ripoff, that no one plays.

>Also, which colour sheme should I paint my Nekomancers?

Depends on which Nekomance settlement you want them to hail from; but I would recommend Bombgradushur for a nice orange scheme, and Neomance fortress for a nice grey and ice blue color

>Bombgradushur

How can you sit there and play such a shitty pack of stalin clones? Honestly? They've got mustaches going for them. That's it. The rest of their rules are terrible, their models are crude. They've just got good mustache effect tables and rules. You seriously like doing nothing but Mustache checks the entire game?

>Grand Khalian Sultanate used to be top-tier with its Arqeubus Janissaries and Bound Genies
>Now it's been turned into a ragtag army of spear-waving rebels because "it's topical"
For fuck's sake, GAME COMPANY, it's fantasy. It doesn't have to be "topical". They really need to stop taking advice from reddit. I bet if they listened to Veeky Forums, we'd still have the Grand Sultanate AND they might have even brought back the Eternal Empire of Kang. I remember when I used to field a mixed Janissary/Mumbie army and fuck over new Scream Wizard players with it.

Thanks, Grey and Ice blue of Neomance is pretty neat, maybe go with that and make them an Adamantium Hats Sucessor, Neomances Fluff was allways to edgy for my taste.
To be fair, thats mostly since Second Edtion, after their Fluff was written by that Catmunism Fanboy Daron Bemski Aorden, and they somehow thought it was a good idea to give them all the retarted plot powers like double roll on yarn rolling and the gulag field effect.
Thats why I allways play the Impurrials.

>chance to charm all non-Pruska humanoid units
>chance to nullify facial morality rolls
>boost to charisma class
yes user I do like mustaching the game away

They're not bad but Purple People Eaters are better. They get the Gentle Giant morale boost for all friendly units in, I think it's a three-hex radius? Maybe four. And Gentle Giant morale is better than the Green Giant intimidate ability.
Plus, the models look better. GC can't do humanoid faces, and the Green Meanies look more constipated than angry. At least the PPE are SUPPOSED to look like disgusting mutants.

To be fair, the Stormborn Immortals are a whole lot cooler than the old Stormborn units. I bought the Second Eternity box just to paint some Immortals, they look nice. Plus the Deepwalker army is fun to play.

89s don't encumber your troops and have better range. Your 87s aren't gonna help you when Techwarriors are laser-fist-fucking your troops' mouths.

Facial morality might be complex, but it's half the game! I mean, yeah, you need a few sheets of graph paper, but it's a crucial part of any gaming experience. Just swinging for a Moustache nullification takes that experience away.

literally the tabletop equivalent of poochy

...

>you're taking away the experience of doing fucking literal calculus in the middle of a wargame!
Good.

>Implying that Pruska aren't affected by that, if you use the special rule of Nyantionalsocialists Deserters and combo them with your scratcher deatachment.
Just make the Slighty Bigger Yarnball your HQ and it will work.
But apart from that, is the Miau Tse Tong now actually a traitor to the union or a double agent of the Impurriums Church? The latest piece of fluff in their rulebook is not clear on that.

>he doesn't run skub with every army
fucking moron

I don't pay attention to the cat pun shit, please leave the thread

Dude. Facial morality is so much more than calculus. It's a life philosophy. Aren't GAME COMPANY going to start offering actual degrees in it?