How do you do a fun pirate setting?

How do you do a fun pirate setting?

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Poison'd, and players ready to kill each other.

Gm actually ship captain. If he do shit crew keelhaul him.

How do you possibly fuck up a fun pirate setting?

ITT we brainstorm how to do a one piece setting ZEHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That's genius. Stealing this.

rape

This. It's fucking pirates. This isn't a hard thing to do.

So, "Poison'd"?

It can easily be done as either political backstabbery or high adventure depending on your taste. I'm currently working on a homebrew setting based off the new Ixalan set from MTG. It's pretty sweet, but it's also pretty tightly focused on what it's doing, so I'm working to expand on the world a bit.

Steal ideas from One Piece, they got fun pirate adventure down pretty good.

You would be surprised how easy it is to fuck things up. Just from the top of my head
>GM has no idea whatsoever about maritime
>Players have no idea whatsoever about maritime
>Both have no fucking clue about maritime
>Either GM or players clinge to PotC as their go-to reference
>Running vanilla 7th Sea
>Party behaves as if they were doing dungeon crawl
>The setting itself is unfit for piracy in the first place
And to wit - it's not about experts or having real-life experience with sailing (but that surely helps a fucking lot), but if you have absolutely no idea about this shit, the game quickly can go really awkward.

>Running vanilla 7th Sea
Is this a random gripe about mechanics or are you just salty that the only person to make a good swashbuckling game is somebody that you can't like without turning in your fa/tg/uy membership card?

Stack those two on top of each other and pick a hole.

Good villains.
This is important.

Homie, you described people who would never run a pirate game.

Entirely crunch-related. I'd rather use 3e GURPS Vehicles than the shit provided by 7th Sea.
And desu, I have no clue who made the game and why that would deny me some sort of "Veeky Forums membership".

>you described people who would never run a pirate game
I wish that was true. I really fucking wish the PotC fanbase wasn't the main group eager to play/run pirate or even just maritime games.
But then again, it's 2017 and not 2007, so things at least settled down a bit.

>Both have no fucking clue about maritime

I don't have any idea about space travel, sword fighting, blood magic or being a ninja. Don't stop me from playing these things.

If no one understands how a ship can move against the wind then it really don't matter

Oh your one of the banana shake dunking GURPS players. I now understand how your drain the fun out of a high adventure pirate post.

7th sea system is easy as balls to run and use. Sure you are not stupid?

Do you know how to have fun user? Take that and add pirates. Done.

Dude, people who love Pirates of the Caribbean would be the perfect people to play pirate games with.

Unless they wanted to just hump the lore. That would be fucking lame

STEP 1: remove all sexy female pirates.
STEP 2: add lots of out of place grannies.

Sounds like a good idea to me.

>people who love Pirates of the Caribbean would be the perfect people to play pirate games with
Not him, but those are the last people you want to have a pirate game with, unless you are ready for silly shit going all the time round and trying to cram that stupid "lore" into the game.

>Unless they wanted to just hump the lore. That would be fucking lame

>can never ever run anything involving ships because one player absolutely demands that anyone that ever falls off a boat is instantly dead
>no matter the magic or comedy level of the intended game
>no matter the speed or size of the boat
>no matter what
The problem is never that everyone doesn't know what they're talking about.
The problem is always when there's one fucking guy going the opposite direction of everyone else.

Huh?
Sounds like you should be an adult and tell jim he isnt working out.
I only have good games now.

Lore is lame by itself, but the real issue is to "have it like in the movies".
From all the fucking pirate movies, some of them being absolutely excellent all-time classics, people decide to pick one of the lamest shit ever created in the whole maritime genre as their only source of ideas for pirate characters and adventures.
Fucking Ass Creed 4 is a better source of ideas, with fucking Templars, conspiracies and ancient astronauts bullshit than PotC even when it was at its peak.

Are you trying to make Anri posting a thing because I'm alright with that

So veto him. If you can't tell players no, you shouldn't be running a game.

By adding hefty dose of Flynn's wit

Step 3: Realize that you're playing Traveller and that pic related is a legitimate group.

You can focus on the minutia of sailing a ship like Spooney is talking about:

youtu.be/OdM4QTuE3hc

>The sea is chaotic, with no individual kingdom or duchy really able to enforce the law there
>Naval trade is fast and profitable but risky, prompting the rise of constantly more pirates
>Some corsairs are virtuous, making it their duty to patrol the seas and only take out other pirates, sustaing themselves through either letters of marque, stealing already stolen loot or a combination of both
>Also, pirating is so profitable even mermaids, sahaugin and other seamonsters got in on the deal

Which is why you need to center the entire campaign around it. You don't just get on the boat, you own the boat. Or maybe you can even have an entire fleet, with each PC commanding his own ship. Not exactly something D&D is fit for, but it can be done.

Make sure it includes lesbians.

Well having Anri Okita there will certainly make things more fun.

Hitomi and who?

Anri Okita, my javfu

Anri Okita is LITERALLY the perfect woman

>ywn fuck her
I don't care if I'll have been the thousandth man to do it, I NEED THIS

Watch old pirate movies, and ignore all historical truth about pirates.

i literally can't watch her porn at all
uncanny valley all the way

Wick does great mechanics but his fluff is aawwfffullll

It's like he made some kind of faustian bargain

I miss her so much

At least she does Softcore now. My white whale is this vid of her I saw once but could never find again with her reverse dominating some yakuza dude and riding him while he begs for her forgiveness

You'd be like 127th, for a pornstar she showed a lot of restraint and picked her spots, even retired early

user she hasn't done as much porn as you'd think, you could probably find it

Is it wrong to fall in love with a porn star?

Add Rape. Rape makes everything funny.

It's a love you will never fulfill

Agreed. She's actually mixed, jap/white, I thought she was pure Jap until I read up.

She said on twitter she isn't when someone asked her in english. She merely spent her childhood in England which is why she speaks english with a London accent.

>pornstar
>barely into triple digits
Holy hell, how it that an achievement? I know plain girls that had more by the time they dropped out of college.

Life in the modern age is suffering. The most beautiful women on earth are paraded in front of us in poses and situation suggesting that they want to mate, but it is all just a mirage. People in ancient times never had this problems, the women he saw in this position were the women he would have sex with. Now we are like Gengis Khans without a corporeal body, we can have an infinite harem of the best women of our choosing, but we can not interact.

Getting a gf doesn't solve these feels, but keep that extremely secret from her if you wish to live.

>Now we are like Gengis Khans without a corporeal body
I have no penis and I must rape?

Really, huh. But I swear every wiki on her says that one of her parents is white. Can't verify now since my gf is nearby, huehue.

twitter.com/anriokita_real/status/798142221014794240

Huh, I wonder where the rumor comes from then.

Her face doesn't entirely look Japanese and dat booty don't lie. Really though she probably does have some caucasian ancestry if most people in her family are tall with brown hair.

Honestly I can hardly understand how tits can BE as perfect as Anri Okitas. Surely they are a product of fat injection, but still.

If she was mixed, the JAV companies would have pushed that angle like no tomorrow. They do that with every hafu girl because it's a fetish.

Yeah, if her family genetically has brown hair then they surely have some kind of genes in there that aren't purely Japanese.

Probably Dutch, they were in Japan for 400 years.

We'll know how real they are once sagging sets in, if they do. Hitomi's are definitely real, we sadly learned that.

Now you understand how foolish it is to put so much value in things so fleeting.

It adds up with the tallness.

Well, those produced by fat injection will sag as well. Japs are definetly on the next level of oppai-tech compared to the rest of the world, JAV-stars with (probable) fakes always have pretty amazing pairs with the right 'jiggle'.

Doesn't Hitomi have a legit medical issue that makes her tits grow forever though? I'm pretty sure they've grown way bigger and uglier over time, and I've read that somewhere.

There are some japs with naturally brown hair, I can't remember the percentage but it's quite small. However because brown hair was associated with dyeing and thus delinquency, schools for a long time (and in some places still do) make it complusory to dye your hair black if it isn't. That being said, according to a survery the most attractive hair color to japanese men is light brown.

Sorry my bad. The most attractive hair color to japanese men ACCORDING TO japanese women

Gigantomastia or something like that?

Breast hypertrophy tends to look more tumor-y than her tits. Unless she's had excessive plastic surgery to cover that.

Her dad is british, her claim to be 100% pure yamato is bullshit. If she had been marketed as a hapa she would have to have done much more degrading stuff and for less money.

That's not why life in the modern age is suffering, user! There's much more universal reasons to suffer.

Even if you win it big, once you die you're done. Might as well have never showed up. Make it into the history books? That won't matter once there's nobody left to read them. Tick, tock, tick, tock, the star you wished on as a child is already dead. Most of them probably are. Multicellularity is halfway through its life no matter what we do to ourselves. Eventually the sun gets so hot all the oceans boil off. So why even bother?

Because you can't stop. You can't stop caring. In the end, you're still human, and you still feel things, and you still want things to matter. We both know you're not going to pull the trigger, or take the pill, or tie the rope.
You can't.

>Getting a gf doesn't solve these feels, but keep that extremely secret from her if you wish to live.
It's the exact opposite, you fucking virgin loner. Being honest and open, not to mention talking a lot about everything and all the issues is a cornerstone of a stable relationship. Because it builds trust and creates a "heron couple" - people knowing so much about each other and adjusted to so many teeny-mini things they eventually synergise fully.

Most women won't take "I want to fuck this pornstar more than you" well

>Her dad is british
Considering you don't have to be ethnically british to consider yourself that, that doesn't mean much

What does "ethnically British" even mean?

Are you a Celt? If so, are you a Briton (Welsh), a Pict, or a Gael? Are you a Frank with some Italic admixture? Are you a Saxon, probably with Norse admixture? Are you some kind of unfathomable combination of all of these? Are you a rare surviving pre-Celtic Stonehenge-builder?

Someone whose family has lived in the country for the last half a millenium. My point is more on all the Indians that call themselves British.

If you put this this way - no fucking wonder they don't take it well, you fucking dipshit.
It's like you never in your life handled a serious discussion about your fucking relationship with the other person in it. I know this is Veeky Forums, THE virgin board, but fucking come on!

That's no issue, that is universal and it's been the same forever for all humans. The porn feels are new.

I'm a married man, if I said to my (asian) wife that titmonster Anri Okita was my dream woman and that I am saddened that I can not have a harem of pornstars then I would 1) Hurt her feelings since she of course does not have the body of a pornstar and she is a woman, so that will equate to, in her mind, that I'm not attracted to her , 2) Make me an ass because what kind of sperg talks like that to his wife, and 3) Leave me with my dick cut off at night because of nr 2

I'm guessing most of your knowledge of women is theoretical

It means white skin and no foreigners in your known lineage.

I know good couple girls to whom if I told that titmonster Anri Okita was my dream woman and that I am saddened that I can not have a harem of pornstars, they would share the sentiment. Though I have to admit none of them is exactly marriage material.

Sounds like they are trying very hard.

You're reading it backwards.

Running a pirate game now.

Just take care cliches and throw some fantasy shit in there.

Anri Okita is what made me break the "2D only" I had since high school. Now I just have yellow fever. Just kill me since I'm a massive sperg that'll spill spaghetti everywhere.

If you're white you still have a PRETTY HIGH chance of scoring with a qt asian

And there's the fact that unlike 90% of jap girls, she actually speaks fluent english. That's a plus.

>unlike 90% of jap girls
You might be underestimating efficiency of Japanese education system. Though it does get sketchy at the "fluent" part.

Well then pretty much everyone is fucked, unless they're one of the probably nearly non-Anglo Saxon people remaining.

That's why I made that distinction. Especially considering she doesn't speak engrish, but actual english with proper pronunciation.

>Ixalan set from MTG.
Haven't paid attention to MTG for a while. What's this one's gimmick? Are the cards actually good?

Welp, I know who to whack the weasel to tonight.

On the continent of Ixalan there's a mcguffin. Pirates want the mcguffin (mainly a burning minotaur man who wants to get off the plane), the expansionist dinosaur-riding natives want it, the vampire conquistadors want it (and was originally theirs, before someone stole it from their continent and brought it to Ixalan), and the older native merfolk want to keep people away from it (but also secretly want it).

Sounds like an Ebberon campaign.

Please don't abuse the animals.

It's fine, he loves it

It's weird, I have intimacy issues where I freak out if I get too close to someone (either I just cant handle the expectations that come with being close to someone or I just learn details about people I'd rather have not've learnd), but on the other end I can't do one night stands either. Feels like I'm trapped between two extremes, and I don't want to drag someone else down because of my petty issues.

I had an ex who looked a lot like her, except she was just shy of 5 feet tall, it's actually what turned me on to Anri because I seen a webm on /gif/ of her.
She was jap and a decent chunk of Portuguese. I wouldn't be surpised if Anri has a white ancestor she doesn't know about.

Fuck this OP though, he posted another thread that got deleted with Anri that sent me on a porn binge.