Good day and welcome to Veeky Forums, the board where everything's made up and the experience points don't matter, that's right! The experience is pointless because we only get participation awards these days...
Today we'll be playing a game called Scenes from a Hat: Veeky Forums Edition! We carefully collected and randomized suggestions from fellow elegan/tg/entlemen them in this hat.
Bad things to find in your Bag of Holding.
The remains of your pet troll's lunch.
A tribe of midgets that worship whatever you put in there.
The half-suffocated pet monkey of a deceased party member.
Pick up lines of the Planeswalkers.
Do you have a portal to elemental plane of water in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
The elemental plane of water won't be the only wettest place tonight.
Hey, let me and my magic wand take you out to Elysium.
Hey do you have a portal to the elemental plane of fire in your pocket or are you just that hot?
Cologne advertisements for illithids.
It actually does smell like a squid!
... And you will never guess what you ate yesterday.
Bring that fresh brain smell wherever you go.
Smells like a Teen Spirit.
Critical successes at mundane tasks.
You shitpost so hard they give you your own containment board.
>You cook those rations so good for a moment you forget where you are.....
>Then reality comes crashing back in
>When you chop wood your axe hits something hard inside the piece of wood. Upon further investigation you find an enchanted ring that someone had hidden in a hollow long ago.
>you brush your teeth so well that if people look at them they break down in tears
I actually know a guy from discord that forced us to do that
>you awaken to find yourself clad in gold bars, despite being in the inn, apparently they're yours
The powerful cut cleaves the pie in two from end to end, revealing it's stuffing and spilling them on the ground before it. The pie is now quite dead. The area and the pie are now awash with stuffing. For the rest of the dinner anyone moving within four meters of the pie must make Agility test or fall over.
You tie your shoe laces so well it would now require Hard dexterity roll or Very Hard strength roll to remove the shoes.
Critical success! Your piss cleanly slices the toilet in half like a watter jet cutter.
...
You roll 21 on d20.
The BBEG goes on holiday.
A portable hole.
I bet I could part your waterveil for its awaken cost.
>look at that drider
>now back to me
>back at that drider
>back to me
>thankfully, she isn't me, but if they used Wizened Thoughts cologne they could smell like me
With a great heave you lift the wicker handbasket laden with foodstuffs. With great haste you make your way to the picnic, for you know that while you still have twenty minutes to rendezvous, it's never a bad idea to be early to a social gathering with your trusted comrades.
Quickly, rally the homosexuals, now is our chance to strike!
What do you mean we can't take over "The Citadel of Ultimate Evil (tm)" because he's using it as an interdimensional camper van?
What the rogue is actually doing right now.
The party learns that skeletons are actually pretty cool guys when not compelled by lich to bone everyone.
opening up the baroness's "chests"
Pleasuring mimic monster girl with his trusty set of lock-picks.
>I sneak up and stab her from behind. No, no, with my other "sword".
Stealing wizard's spellbook to use as a toilet paper.
Showing the cleric why the ladies enjoy his Fast Hands skill
Put a pixie NPC in there once. Forgot to take them out after
Stealing 300Gp worth of virginities from local orphanage.
at the bar Detecting Traps
Things you can say about the bard, but not about your girlfriend.
Always in tune with their surroundings.
I can trust you to be on my side in an argument.
They aren't a bitch.
That Guy is at it again.
Always down for some fug