Worst character you ever played or came up with? Or a fellow player at your table

So you made a spoiled-brat child prodigy. What's so bad about that?

b8 thread, fuck off

I had a guy who was terrible at RPGs. Like, he'd try to minmax and fail, get frustrated, and suicide his character so he could make a new character. When confronted, he's excuse this brazen disregard for character as 'it's just a game.'

We were playing dnd 3.5 at the time.

This terrible character optimization led to some baffling decisions that made little sense. He made a lot of annoying fairy types, and a huge amount of incredibly attractive women

At one point, in response to an oncoming army he stripped all his character's clothes and armor off and was promptly killed by a hail of arrows. I guess he was trying to halt their progress with his beauty.

But the worst character he ever made was a monk.

For some reason, he got it in his head that monks were basically Ada Wong from Resident Evil. Not 'I'll make a bit of a nonstandard monk, based on Ada Wong.' He somehow thought that was the point of the class. I legitimately have no idea why.

So we play, and his character comes up. He then realizes he hasn't chosen a name when promoted, then panics and says "Ada Wong"

A character ripped from a video game, not even thematically or mechanically appropriate, and based on a bizzare misunderstanding of the rules.

i played a dark heresy character with 77 ballistics skill that almost exclusively used a shotgun with custom grip and laser sight which gave him an extra 15 not even factoring in range bonuses for close range and point blank. basically ruined combat for my gm cuz i never fucking missed and always rolled very good damage. saved a high up priest one time though so i wasnt so bad

From an early age, Soma Chakun, seventh son of the seventh son of an incredibly promiscuous gorilla, was violently beaten and stuffed into a box whenever he went outside.

This festered into a boiling rage, leading Soma Chakun to drown his entire family in feces and water from the local sewer as they slept. Every day he would capture smaller gorillas and push sticks through them, removing all the hair and selling them as snacks at the local bazaar.

Soma learned to fish with the dead bodies of his family at a young age, something that would later help him in politics. Entering grade school at age 4, Soma Chakun was responsible for a great many school pranks, including putting bananas inside the school’s pet gorilla, and flooding the school hall with the sewer system, killing a half dozen gorillas with fecal diseases.

When Soma Chakun was finally 6 he abandoned his school life and acquired property on the local banana farm. Kidnapping a wife and kids, he happily lived life as a banana farmer until he was arrested and sent to banana prison for thirty two accounts of murder and three accounts of kidnapping.

There, in high security gorilla prison, Soma Chakun finally learned the value of life when he stabbed his cellmate to death with a banana, and was sentenced to death by overconsumption of bananas, and ironic end to Soma Chakun, or so he thought.

At the day of his trial, Soma Chakun viciously mauled the clergyman meant to make his final moments peaceful, and broke out of jail.

By smiling and looking like every other gorilla in the world, he was able to evade authority and flee the island with the corpse of a ferryman.

Paddling with all of his might, Soma finally arrived at the other side of this massive body of water, and celebrated by beating his chest until he fell comatose.
(cont.)

When Soma Chakun awoke he was surrounded by human children, which he decided promptly not to eat. From these human children he learned the meaning of love and compassion for the entire three hours he was with them, before he promptly decided to eat them.

There, from the crunching of undeveloped bones he realized his true calling in life; Soma Chakun then attempted to swim back over the body of water, drowning instantly. There in his watery grave he was hauled out by a fishing boat.

The fishergorilla violently administered cpr, which Soma reacted to by biting his face off. Returning to gorilla society, he acquired a law degree and sentenced many innocent gorillas to death by overconsumption of bananas.

Years later, as he grew bored of watching gorillas puke up bananas, he wandered into the Hidden Banana School and promptly stole three hundred bananas worth of ninja spells. Memorizing all of them while dressing like a trash bag, Soma than vowed to take on the gorilla ninja oath to sneak and spy very stealthily for their own gain.

Thus begins our hero’s adventure as he travels across the sea again to the great unknown.

>you
Probably everything involving my first character, as everything they're involved with is anime as fuck now that I'm thinking about it. Still love playing the guy though, I can get over being anime as fuck if everyone's having fun with it.
>fellow player
Literally a toned-down Guts expy that the player is constantly trying to "improve" with either asking the GM to let him use homebrew shit, or running "alternate timeline" iterations of the same dude in different campaigns. When asked to try building another character, he says he's tried everything, when the only other character he's played was a GM-produced rogue cohort that he made into a fucktoy cucktoy.

I spent a minute thinking about making a Kabuki Samurai before realizing how shit that would be.

A halfling female wizard that was totally not Megumuin guys, I mean she wears red robes with gold trim, an eyepatch, a classic wizard hat, and a quarterstaff as her arcane focus, and only uses Evocation spells but she was TOTALLY not Megumuin.

Undead Assassin. Couldn't remember anything about his past life, but he went by Bane, because he was the bane of all things that lived. He was stealthy, edgy, had plenty of *teleports behind you* type abilities. No katana, but he could garrote the shit out of people.

He was an assassin for hire that got mixed up with the party because a zombie apocalypse broke out while he was trying to murder a guy the party Paladin was guarding.

Somehow I ended up being out-edged by the Paladin though, who the instant the zombies started coming, turned around and stabbed his client to death because "lel don't feel like guarding this guy anymore." Said Paladin also climbed onto the cruise liner we all got onto to escape and immediately started running to the cabins and stealing everything that wasn't nailed down. The only helpful thing he did was set a magic circle to stop undead from approaching people inside it, then cramming the civilians in there. Then got mad at me that I threw someone overboard when they were turning into a zombie in the circle.

I thought my logic made sense
>1. I have no divine magic or knowledge to speak of
>2. I'm here by myself
>3. I don't have time to wait while he's turning for you guys to get back.
>4. I made sure it was quick and painless before I tossed him over so he didn't suffer, have to drown, or turn into a zombie.

Was this 5e where pallys didn't have to be LG? If not, what you described was a legitimate reason for the DM to make him fall.

I see nothing wrong with this

It was 4e, so he still didn't actually have to be LG. Honestly, it wasn't so much him doing that shit that bugged me, more that he did it, and then insisted with a straight face he was still Lawful Good, actually getting mad if you pointed out he did straight up evil shit.

4e doesn't really have rules for falling, and he left the group for various reasons before any kind of punishment happened, so whatever.

A sickly cripple who studied magic. He was fond of pyromaniac. The group nicknamed him: Hot Wheels.

I made a Crab Person, played him like a Space Pirate from Metroid, and eventually was forced to retire him when he became functionally immortal after obtaining the Spear of Longinus from a valkyrie he had murdered.

konosuba.wikia.com/wiki/Megumin
Jesus wept. This is basically a shittier Lina Inverse, right down to the name.

The wiki doesn't give a very good description. You have to watch her to get a feel for why a lot of people like her. It's the combination of her personality, context of the setting, design, and voice acting that makes her my undisputed waifu.

I have a character who has caused three TPKs two of which have been in one session alone.

Kill yourself. You are why anime has gone to shit.

Lina's VA is named Hayashibara Megumi. You would have to be a retard to not see it.

>you can't like a character becasue it's based off of another character

Shit, the fun police is here guys! Everyone hide your fun!

An old argonians who never lost a fight and could not die - yeah now I remember him, I hate that fucker and I now know how green I was...

>it's poorly based off of another character
fix'd

I played a dark elf slut with a fetish for human men in a non-lewd game, so probably that.

I may have,skipped a few details. See the bad thing about Lt. Raptor was the pure amount of kill-em-all edge that you can only achieve by being a christian kid who has convinced yourself that "rpgs are only sinful if there's magic in them", so he only plays modern or cyberpunk games. Also, this was at the time when Spawn was considered cool, only mom wouldn't allow it in our household, and I had a lot of free time because I had lost computer privileges after mom decided that playing Zerg was "unwholesome" so I mostly gamed that summer. And thus I made a character that was somehow Spawn...and Kerrigan in one.

Le sigh.

Not seeing how you can fuck up a Green Beret velociraptor.

Spawn is cool, though.

>Le
Oh, I see the problem.

In Pathfinder I made a Gnome Alchemist who specialized in throwing bombs. His introduction to the party was him throwing a bomb at them for no good reason and claiming to be from the moon.

I was not allowed back and from what I hear the plot of the campaign turned into "kill the moon gnomes" afterwards.

Is my shitty character less shitty if it inadvertently lead to the entire plot of the campaign?

Have you even watched the show? You're judging a character on a basic synopsis on a fucking fan wiki. Just watch the fucking show. Konsuba is Veeky Forums as animes get. And it's good, even if you're too autistic to like a certian character.

>idoru pose
>moeshit designs
I know enough, chuckles. The VAs could all be Japanese Gilbert Gottfrieds and the story could be a one-for-one rendition of the Iliad and I don't think I could bring myself to watch it even for the novelty value.

You know user, you don't always have to be contrarian just for the sake of it. Sometimes it's okay to take a step back and admit you're being a massive faggot.

I probably will, even though my little brother likes it and my little brother also likes RWBY so his taste is suspect. Harden up, nigger. You act like nobody's ever told you to kill yourself before.

Sometimes even contemplating certain thoughts tarnishes a soul, and you full on went and damned yourself for a joke.

Shame on you.

Not him, but you have sperged out over a parody character for a half dozen posts now. It's time user, get the noose.

Way ahead of ya.

>Arrogant Elven conspiracy theorist/crackpot historian with a reckless interest with magic and disdain for the literal filth in dungeons.

I mean, I guess he could be the worst? I've only ever played four characters.

I use to have a character that not only came back to life about 7 times, was also the "chosen one", human incarnate of a god, had emo hair, tragic backstory (multiple times from multiple different rebirths), was typically mage, and on after being killed off for one more super serious time came back to life after a younger him used time travel to stop his own assassination.

>You have to watch her to get a feel for why a lot of people like her. It's the combination of her personality, context of the setting, design, and voice acting that makes her my undisputed waifu.

Translation: I want to fuck her so she's a good character

a one armed tiefling war veteran illusionist who was racist against warforges for taking my arm, played him twice and lost my voice both times from the yelling, he was great when he was introduced by quickly become repetitive and awful to be around. i just lied about how many hitpoints i had and kill him off.

I honestly think the worst I've done is be a boring spod.
It was only really in the last few years I've gotten to step out of the GM's chair and be on the other side of the equation.
I'll take it by system.

Edge of the Empire: Sniper-Jawa who liked building box forts. Good at precisely those two things.

Warhams fantasy (set in the Old World): #1: Socially retarded weapon fetishist dwarf with strange comments and suggestions.
#2: Seafaring dwarf that was more or less the group's common sense.
Dwarves have the best survivability, hence my playing those mainly in WFRPG, because my GMs have a history of turning games into misery porn.

Warhams Fantasy (Set in GM's snowflake universe): Human Pyromancer (Kind of a buffed version of a Bright wizard) that was more or less Magical KGB. Tried to be the voice of reason, ended up being dragged into murderhobo shenanigans, snapped and burned everything he could (fellow player fucked up everything and I was fed up). Very obedient and approval-seeking. Only became the strongest member of the party by virtue of knowing when to fold them, so to speak.

Cont.

Cont'd.

Warhams Fordy-Kay: Mentally and socially retarded arch-militant that's more like a speaking dog with heavy weapons training. Ex-soldier and devoted to getting revenge on orcs, goal being to kill 333333333 of them.

HackMaster 5e: #1: Elf wizard with the Albino and Coward quirks, as well as 2 in STR and 5 in CON. Only stat above 10 was 16 INT. He died as a result of getting hit by the half-elf in the party after denigrating her.

#2: Elf Rogue (sort of the analogue to a bard but not really) with enormous flamboyance and a glaive. Currently on walkabout after getting fed up with a bunch of dense-ass motherfuckers in the party. Got the nickname "Deathdick" for having 100/100 in the Seduction, art of skill, and those he buggered soon dying soon after (that most often being the fault of their players...) - intense burning hatred of anyone shorter than 4ft 5 inches due to experience.

#3: Elf Cleric (temple of the huntress), a 0th-level novitiate who, seeing as she's Sterile (rolled the flaw), got sent to the temple to 'do some good at least', and joined the party. Fairly chipper, and casually racist against dwarves, but with the best of intentions (It's not their fault their brains are half rock and soaked in ale).

Elves have usually had the stats best suited for my rolls, which in HM is 3d6 in order.

D&D 5e: Your typical bard cranked up to 11 and played for comedy. Decided to try my hand at not just becoming Wizard 2.0 and go for utility and support instead, so heading for College of Lore when I hit level 3. Explicitly played in such a way that I can justify trying to include the newer players around the table (really weak, so might need someone's help, very fond of people and socialization, tertiary healer...)

These are the ones I remember, there may have been like a one-shot where I made a ranger too.

Man, religion really is the only thing that makes people even weirder than anime.

Some of us legitimatly do hate anime, dude. It doesn't matter whether it's good or bad anime, it's anime and we just don't like it. You don't need to be angry at people who don't like the things you do.

>a girl is from a recent anime is my waifu
this is why /v/edditors need to be purged

In terms of Mary Sueness, i had a paladin who was the son of a god, Kord i think, and paladin for another god, Pelor, and had a bunch of angst, plot armor, and super powered items. The GM really played into it and made it worse, but he was a pretty good character other than his backstory and being too powerful.

In terms of worst for the game, i played a FATE character based on Archer. Alcoholic, egotistical, borderline sociopathic, had Aspects that drove him to do obviously stupid things, fuck up plans, and constantly put the blame on others while avoiding any consequences. He was really fun for a couple hours, but, in a turn that i guess should have been obvious, the other players came go fucking hate me really fast. Successfully made the game feel a lot like Archer, which everyone had thought was a good idea during character creation, but their patience with being screwed over was exhausted real fast and the fun was over.

A /vp/ IRC roleplay where someone played as a talking sentient immortal Zoroark that was also a master trainer

I was DMing Exalted one time and my friend made the dumbest motherfucker of all time.
He was a Twilight Caste Solar that essentially hunted the Wild Hunt and HATED every single Terrestrial Exalted.
There was one time where he was overseeing the construction of a new river port, and a bunch of mercenaries led by a Terrestrial stopped by to check what was going on, under orders from a local Warlord.
They came to blows and the player came out on top, and in order to keep him prisioner, he broke his legs every single day and ordered all of his soldiers executed in front of him.
Luckily for the PC, he was separated from the party or else he would certainly be at least forced to stop.
Soon after that he left the port to investigate an ongoing flood, and reached a temple inhabited by an ancient water elemental.
He was VERY CLEARLY out of his league, he had Essence 1 and the Elemental had Essence 5, and the motherfucker insisted in going after the Ancient Water Elemental purely because he is a huge munchkin and doesen't want to "lose".
The campaign ended right there after he was crushed to death inside an imploding ice prision, because I lost the patience with the rest of the table who simply were not into the game (for various reasons).

Stupidly overpowered, user.

> Playing a forum RPG
> My character was a shinigami
> Slightly noir backstory
> First thing he did was attempting to rape another character
> Didn't know how to rape because he's shinigami and only knows how to kill, so just smashed her head with a baseball bat that was his shinigami weapon
> She dies.
> youtube.com/watch?v=hNBBY8JWWkw

...

You may hate it how ever much you want, but some of us legitimately love it. Get over it. You don't need to be angry at people who like the things you don't.

And this was what, last summer? Get the fuck out.

Immortal sort of undead guy with four incredibly powerful magical swords. His actions and me even creating him still make me cringe as I always remember him when I try to do anything roleplaying related.

Obsessed with his wife death transformed into his own daughter after trying to make her immortal to preserve what was left of his wife.
Is also a vampire.

>Worst character I've played
Female Bi Drow Rogue with previously Noble House ancestry (they all died) with a fukhueg full-neck scar from a not quite successful accidental vorpal decapitation, who committed murders in her downtime for minor slights.
In my defense, I was told to go as stupid as I wanted multiple times. She was really fun.

>Dumbest other people have come up with

>Not!Aragorn with Kazooie the big red dog
>Lesbian Orc Battle-Cleric In Fullplate
That's it, that's the entire character
>Purple Dragonborn
This was my first 5e game and I had explicitly said no homebrew, they asked me to run 5e
>Log Horizon rpg, their backstory was that it was an ERP character
We never got far enough, but I'm pretty sure it could have been actually great with that person playing it
>Magical girl who's power manifests/is powered by memes
>Entire Shadowrunnner team with history with the group that is literally just a Direwolf20/minecraft reference
>Grognak the barbarian

There's lots lots more but I'm too tired to think of them.
These were separated by around 37 hundred miles I just can't find a good group.

>Le sigh

Dark Heresy.
Cute (45 starting FEL) girl.
From a Paradise world, learned in an elite seminary.
Almost as rich as setting allows (Ecclesiarchy gives priests lots of pocket money)
The only party member that still has all limbs and no insanities.

Character generated randomly and just got lucky (we roll characters a bit more randomly than standard DH generation process)

Morphine addicted, one-eyed survivalist teen who wasn't really addicted to morphine and was, oh dear why did I write this back in yore, "Smarter most of those weak little cityfolk because of his superior survivalist skills" in a completely serious tone.

youtube.com/watch?v=PQjm5ApVTv8

When I made my first D&D character, 3d6 six times and place in order blessed me with god stats. I used this boon to create the edgelord wizard, basically 8-bit theater's Black Mage with 18 Charisma.

It was fun, but everyone involved with that game was a teenager so I kind of have to admit the character was terrible.

>hurr hurr he has an opinion that I don't like, therefore he must be from a board I don't like
Your reasoning skills are impeccable, user.

Half-ogre druid with donkey animal companion

I feel like that picture was made by a fat guy who exclusively plays overpowered magical lolis.

People with mild autism won't be able to tell this was a joke.

Any joke character I've ever played.

Any joke character any of my friends played.

Joke characters get old super quickly. Why do we keep making them?

It's not that he was disliking something other user liked, but more that he was essentially judging a book by its cover.

This. I've seen some nice characters that fit this archetype if it's played well. One of the dudes from the blade itself books fits and has excellent development imo.

female elf engeenier in wfrp 2nd ed

The show is good, fuck off. Stop acting like youre hot shit because you refuse to watch a show whose art style is not 90s enough for a big dawg like you, you superficial fuckboy.

Sentient cat with a tank cannon on it's back, controlled by a device connected to said cat's brain.

Not him, but I watched the first season and it was pretty mediocre. The same 3 jokes being repeated (Aqua is retarded, Darkness likes to get hit, Megumin says explosion and passes out) got pretty tired after a while. Girls aren't even that cute either.

It's worst crime is that it's an isekai for nothing other than a shitty joke (haha he died of shock from a golf cart), like the subversion of the dying trying to save a children trope isn't a tired joke already.

Characer quirks are not jokes, the jokes are the ways they interact with each other with those quirks in mind in the different situations they find themselves. If you don't find the characters endearing in their exentricities, you're not gonna find the show funny.
Girls not being cute is a good point against the other guy who's convinced they're moebait. They're all anoying, useless and stupid so if you like them it's not gonna be because they go "uguu" with big round eyes.

Isn't that more of a p/a/edophile thing?

A level 2 human fighter (female)

Also the part where he ressurects into a video game world as a otaku-anime-mc and the first thing they do is get a job and earn their first ever paycheck and learn the value of a dollar.

Devil is a Part Timer did it better. And iirc they are constantly in need of money because even after getting a job after that super sick isekai trope subversion they (mainly Aqua) still learned the value of a dollar.

That's the thing with half these fucking isekai "parodies". They're never truly a parody. Just a one note joke before they trot along as if they were a regular isekai.

>us legitimatly do hate anime
>goes on Veeky Forums

really makes me think.

Nah, even with the shonen newfags infesting the board /a/ is still gives people shit for waifuing characters in newer anime. And don't EVER try seriously discussing Konosuba there, it will be derailed into waifufaggotry and circlejerking in about four to five posts. Ironically, good discussion on that show only happens on Veeky Forums, and even then it's only once in a blue moon.

May have been my first - Vic Hitler Jr the black Nazi. The year was 1987 or so, the game was Twilight: 2000 and I got my lolsorandum out of the way early.

I usually try transition them into something semi-serious after the joke runs thin. Then again I don't go over the top with my joke characters.

wild mage?

>player decides to roll a LG Cleric for current campaign
>all right, sounds good, pretty typical
>shortly after sends me a google doc containing a homebrew god and faith he wrote up, which denounces all deities as false gods and anyone who worships them as heretics
>I talk to him and tell him this doesn't mesh well with the setting, but he can play it as long as he isn't obnoxious about it and understands that his faith doesn't have much of a basis in the world they're in
>dude seems receptive to my advice and agrees

>cue first few sessions
>dude makes his character walk around the party and get pissed off IRL when they say they've never heard of his faith
>prefaces every conversation with an NPC by doing a live rant on his faith and trying to convert them
>literally no one cares about his pagan faith
>player gets upset when they refuse to join what is basically a cult
>both me and the entire party are annoyed at his repeated attempts wasting time

>party comes across a group of friendly monsters in the woods who are generally peaceful
>cleric does his shtick and the monsters refuse to convert due to their pre-existing faith
>cleric rounds up the party and says they need to commit genocide because the NPC are heathens
>everyone disagrees with him and fight ensues

>pull him aside after session to talk about how he's playing his character
>remind him about what we discussed before the campaign
>"it's not my fault my character does that, it's yours for letting me play a cleric"

>fellow player
Literally the only character I've seen the dude play before i got kicked out after two years played a tengu alchemists.

It was pathfinder but the backstory was this tenth who was the last heir to this tengu !Japan emperor who later became a mobster who owned all the bars and pubs in the world, and later became a demigod and dmpc.

Other than being a militant atheist edge Lord bombardier/Frankenstein who later literally conversed with the gods of the setting, later becoming one (still remains atheist), using quite literal cheating of the rules to play grenadier and visiectionist it, it was the most boring character ever.

Literally no one was allowed to be cooler or stronger than the tengu alchemists because he dated/married the original DM and then took over when she wanted to retire dming to play as a character.

It was weird and confusing and helped only with excessive drinking on my part.

>I have no fucking idea what I'm talking about but I'm still spouting bullshit anyway: the post
Sums up the entirety of Veeky Forums.

This actually sounds super fun. I should definitely lkay a conspiracy theorist next time

Is.... Is this guy playing the Emperor? Is he trying to spread the Imperial Truth?

Because WOW forcing pvp sucks arse and your cleric should feel bad.

>Worst Character I've ever played
A level 7 Fallen Aasimar Oathbreaker Paladin/Hexblade Warlock with 20 Charisma. I was dealing an obscene amount of damage with every hit, whenever we faced a tough enemy I would stack debuffs on them (hex, hexblade's curse) and then hit them with my smites. I usually one- or two-shot everything. It was the most min-maxed, obscene thing I've ever played.

Is this pasta?

People like you are why Miyazaki said anime was a mistake. You'll consume literally anything with qt grillz in it.

Miyazaki is an old, bitter, overrated faggot. Anything else?

I give one of my tablemates a lot of shit for playing the biggest Mary Sue I've seen in-person, she vehemently denies it and gets pissy when I point it out. Her Mary Sue antics include but are not limited to:

> Heterochromia
> Shapeshifts into a dragon
> Parent died in a car accident she blames herself for
> (((Emotionally))) damaged
> Lesbian
> Multi-coloured hair
> Calls her dragon form 'Amaterasu' despite clearly being a western dragon