Good day and welcome to Veeky Forums, the board where everything's made up and the experience points don't matter, sort of like my cocaine habbit!
Today we'll be playing a game called Scenes from a Hat: Veeky Forums Edition! We carefully collected and randomized suggestions from fellow elegan/tg/entlemen them in this hat.
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Awkward first encounters with the BBEG.
>You all meet at the brothel
>the Villain is in partial state of undress
... as they change out of their fursona costume.
You wake up in the same bed after you got dead drunk. You're both straight males.
Things you can say about the DM, but not your girlfriend.
>Dad, I want you to meet my new boyfriend! He's an adventurer and he said he's just found a bad guy he's gonna foil.
...
I made a few notes on how you can improve for next time
I want to marry him
I have one
kill me
World's Worst Wizard.
>This new firelighting spell is completely safe and responsible.
...
>I cast color spray to diversify the party
I have a strong sense of what is right and wrong
What the only human in the party is thinking right now.
>Fuck it's dark in here, but at least I get to grab the elven cuties ass so we don't break stealth
The good news, and the bad news.
Am.... am I the special snowflake?
Wow, thanks for hijacking my thread.
Deep...
Inappropriate times to laugh during a game.
I cast explosive rune in the cleric's prayer book while they sleep to assure I maintain my spot as the supreme caster
Based on a true story
Well, your highness, I can assure you, your daughter was not harmed by the bandits that kidnapped her. Now the cannibals that hired them...
Pointless things to get butt hurt over in a nearly dead thread
Have you ever thought about switching with someone else?
I cast explosive rune on your spellbook's cover. Your move.
at least I have constitution
HAH
Clerics don't have spellbooks, that's a wizard only weakness.
You can't make this shit up.
Well you've missed my near-daily threads like this the last couple weeks.
No bald jokes.
>Alright, make an Intelligence saving throw
I cast explosive runes on the inside of your eyelids.
Mate in 2
Graffiti found in the dungeon restrooms.
"I'm looking forward to seeing you all next time."
For a good time, call the demon a devil one more time.
>Come to the pit of giant rats if you want an ass kicking
>Kilroy the Kobold was here
Kill all the Knife-ears.
Spellbooks that won't fly off the bookshelves.
Greater Increase Gravity
Kek
How to spel : majik made easy
Levitate Bookshelf
Greater Detect Air
Create Spellbook: Create Spellbook
Book of: Return book
A tattered copy of "Disintegrating Touch".
What bookshelf?
Rary's Forgotten Memorized Spell
Drawmij's Instant Pudding
Bigby's Limp Wrist
Mordenkainen's Dysfunction
Gate: Quasi-Elemental Demi-Plane of Horseradish
Leomund's Tiny Hat
Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Odour
(Okay, I'll stop now.)
...
This sounds pretty useful
If the party's tragic backstories included product placement.
My family was murdered by orc raiders from the north, but thanks to PEPSICO tm I've been able to become a monk and learn to find inner peace at last.
Spells & Salves 4E
Since my family's been murdered I'm on a quest for revenge
Only me and my katana
Premium Hattori Hanzo worksmanship
Folded 1000 times
Filthy gaijin go home
Or commission your own at 15% off, limited time offer!
someone make a Burma Shave one
The one thing the bard will NOT have sex with.
The GM.
Possibly.
Their player
I'm pretty sure someone made a fanfiction about that.
Their instrument
captcha: yale sale
Me.
Illegitimate reasons for the barbarian to rage.
>You fail to open the pickle jar
>I rage to open it
The worst time to fail a perception check.
"GM, is that a boy or a girl?"
>implying thats a problem
Well, depends.
Courses available at OrkTek University.
"Is that an arrow coming at us?"
How red makes things go fasta 101
Weird spam mail from the gods.
Increase thw size of your spear with these 3 easy steps
Masters degree course on smashing weak thingy.
Do you feel blessed today?
>blah blah blah
Forward this to 10 nonbelievers or suffer in the fires of damnation and agony forever
>Well, your highness, I can assure you, your daughter was not harmed by the bandits that kidnapped her.
The party you hired to retrieve her however...
>Where's the detonator?
>Dear emperor, I should've stayed in the army.