Hit a slime with a slashing weapon

>hit a slime with a slashing weapon
>it makes two slimes of the same size and level with full health
what

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=7CWTAwvnPRA
youtube.com/watch?v=bq54jb_5WCI
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

What game even does this?

OP just needed to make a thread. It's a coping mechanism for his crippling loneliness.

He doesn't actually have a group to play with.

Fission.
Also, almost all D&D slimes are just ex-aberrations.

>get hit by a slime
>it makes another slime, twice the original size
How quickly the tide turn.

>Pig starts playing drums
>Party has a heart attack

Are slimes the unsung apex predators?
>Can't crush it
>Can't stab it
>Slicing it only makes more
>Absorbs heat like a sponge soaked in brine
>Can't shock it
>Freezing it only keeps it in one place, it doesn't actually get destroyed if you shatter it.
>It can live in any environment
>It can amass itself into any size by either merging or dividing itself
>Ex-Aberrations, meaning that they're basically Soggoths who haven't awoken...yet
>Can dissolve anything it engulfs in seconds
>Some species can even take on the properties of whatever they absorb (which is why fire, ice, metal, etc. variants exist)
>Ignores physics by being a non-Newtonian fluid
So the question we should be asking ourselves is, if one could create slimes like a Necromancer, how quickly would the lands be overwhelmed by our slime overlords?

Rolled 6 (1d20)

I roll to stab it with my penis.

Don't forget the damage penalty for using a very small weapon

You're pulled into by your genitalia and are absorbed over the course of 1d4 rounds.

Roll up a new character.

Rolled 4 (1d4)

Forgot the roll.

roll to crush slime with OP's mom

nigga u missed

>A particularly warm breeze evaporates it
Apex predator my stinky sweaty ass

Rolled 6 (1d20)

woops reroll

fire cant evaporate nigga what

That was a roll to see how long you have until you're absorbed smart guy. Luckily, you still have a few moments.
Your stuggles are in vain.

1/4 rounds passed.

Rolled 11 (1d20)

pls dice gods i need this

Do you realize how hard it is to set silly putty on fire? Besides, all you're doing is damaging the vestigial elements that can easily be replaced by absorbing random shit in the environment.

Rolled 15 (1d20)

You manage to right yourself and "swim your way towards the edge of the creature.

Give me a STR check vs. the Slime's STR check.

Rolled 3 (1d20)

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCFKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

You struggle valiantly to pull yourself from the slime's grip, but you're pulled back in. Also, you begin feeling a burning sensation around your exposed midsection.

2/4 rounds passed.

Rolled 19 (1d20)

can i eat my way out? will the HCI in my stomach acid overpower the slime?

...

...

You successfully manage to devour part of the slime. You feel the sickening sensation of flavorless jelly sliding down your throat before it hits your stomach.

You feel something pushing against your stomach but then the struggles stop. You chew through more of the slime but the creature is too large and your stomach is full to maximum capacity.

The burning sensation around your midsection worsens as you feel the burning moving throughout your body.

3/4 rounds passed.

>Party sees the same shit for the n-th time
>They still get a heart attack

Rolled 3 (1d20)

i force myself to vomit

FOR LIFE

rolling cuz fucc

...

Meh, I'm feeling nice so I'll just let you reroll that one.

Rolled 10 (1d20)

thx man, this is a real wew lad

>inb4 1

>Party eats an entire stack of food and is stuffed.
>Takes a step.
>Are now hungry and out of food.
>Stess

>hit a slime with a slashing weapon
>it makes two slimes of the same size and level with full health
>what

That's impossible and also needlessly mean.
If you cut a slime in half you'd get two slimes of half-level, each with their own separate health bars that are full, but half the health of the original slime each.

I mean, you can dry them out, you can set them on fire, and I think salt will kill them due to that reverse osmosis effect where it sucks out the moisture from them inside out until they bubble and burn like a slug.

You manage to vomit the contents of your stomach, which comes out as a sickening green slime with chunks.

The bile slime interacts with the slime around it and the two slimes begin to vibrate violently. You feel something pull you by your face as you and the vomit slime are violently ejected from the slime onto the ground below.

The slime then begins moving in the opposite direction of you, as it ejects pieces of the bile slime behind it. You retch and empty the rest of the slime from your stomach and you now have a slime that's roughly 4 Liters in quantity.

What do you do?

>Deus McVult types out another massive shitpost
>It kills two people

guess i have no choice but to use 4 liters of slime as a fleshlight

meant for

Are you SURE you want to do this?

yes

>Leper develops nymphomania
>The stress just falls away in the brothel.
>Along with other things.

You grab hold of the slime and attach it to your member, which causes it to rapidly spread until it is covering your entire body.

You writhe in agony for a few seconds until you no longer feel anything but the burning sensation traveling into your body.

The End

youtube.com/watch?v=7CWTAwvnPRA

>Leper gets rabies
"I am becoming stronger"

nice, thanks for the fun!

No problem friend, I personally enjoyed this little cavalcade. I just wish I could do this type of thing more often desu but, eh, y'know, no quests and all.

Ah well, have a nice day friend.

youtube.com/watch?v=bq54jb_5WCI
F

>Pig starts playing drums
Sounds like goregrind.

Do you want zombies? Couse that's how you get zombies

From what little I know of it, probably yes
I don't want zombies, I want people who can hit like a freight train and them having the accuracy of a freight train is also inconsequential.