DM'ing for a new group

Elona.

...

^this

Well said.

I mean, I agree that 'le funi behavior xD' characters are tied for worst with Shadow the Edgehog types and Chaotic Retard types.

...

sounds boring as fuck

you're an ass

Thread's going places.

>be dungeon monster
>a hulking creature traipses into my home
>he proceeds to give me the ANGRIEST fucking glare whilst aggressively playing a piano that he dragged the whole way here

you know, this guy isn't particularly wrong

i'll bet your parents are proud to see you doing this, using your otherwise-life-ruining autism for good

Anyone who disagrees with this is a filthy casual

Anyone who agrees with this takes themselves too seriously.

I mean... It's good bait, but if it's real, man you must be the life of the party.

>be DM
>allow this
congratulations, you played yourself

bards are useless anyway tbqh senpai

Top tier class in a social campaign and still plenty useful aside from that because Bards are basically ridiculous skill monkeys that can use any magical device they care about while casting decent spells.

doesnt matter
OP shouldnt be complaining about this stupid shit in the first place because he shouldnt have allowed it since he was gonna have a problem with it anyway

He's right tho guys, play stupid characters in stupid games. Don't bring your lol randumb horseshit to a semi serious game. That's not to say no fun allowed, but be tonally fucking consistent

Who's complaining? It was funny shit.

>"how will we get across this wide gap?"
>"Well there's always Ur'grok's giant fucking piano we could step across"
>*encounter goes badly*
>"play me out, johnny"

Pretty much this. You have to consider party dynamics and what works well with the other players' characters. Bards can be great additions, if less effective in combat than other classes.

Which IMO the GM should account for when setting up combat encounters. After all, the game is supposed to be fun for the people playing, and if they want to play a non-optimized character, the GM should account for such.

Now that's not saying an intentionally poorly designed character should be encouraged or coddled. People should try to make the most effective character for their concept, and if it can't be done under the rules at all, well, convince the GM to homebrew or grab something else.

But players should feel okay to take options that make sense for their character but aren't the most effective for combat.

Well, that's my take on it at least.

You know what?
He's right, he's rude, but he's fucking right, and he's right in a way that the longer I think about it the more it makes everybody who enjoys this a mild retard.

An Orc Bard who uses a grand piano as his instrument is not only impractical, silly, and probably didn't happen, but it also wouldn't actually be "fun"- it would be a constant annoyance to the rest of the group as they'd have to wait almost every turn for this stupid fucking player to drag his fucking piano another 5 ft because he INSISTED that this is what he wanted to do because it'd be "funny".

You're giving your "keks" to something that's basically Dorkly-Tier surface-level normie humor: A joke that's only funny because you know "enough" about the context of the joke, but isn't actually funny if you were the guy in the party "experiencing the moment". This isn't another "bearington" moment, the Orc Luchadora moment, or even that Mr.Henderson in Cthulu, they were all beneficial to their party, while at the same time being funny, lighthearted, and FUN.

This is just a big fucking Bing Bang Theory joke.
No-Fun user is right, you're all just being unthinking fucking buzzfeed, popfunk, cracked humor, retards... And it PAINS me to say this because I thought it was funny to until I actually read and thought about what he was saying.

>Mr.Henderson in Cthulu, they were all beneficial to their party

Old Man Henderson killed a guy's PC four times in a single session.

>it's everyone else that's wrong, not me
nah get fucked it's joyless faggots like you that ruin games. i bet you screech when the dm says you can't play your oc donut steal tragic backstory™ dark elf.

>Old Man Henderson killed a guy's PC four times in a single session.

>Killed someone four times
>"I got better."

It's superficially funny. Like, something you say as a joke for the mental image, or one of those cut-away scenes from Family Guy.

That said I am now imagining a half-orc Elton John that has a magic piano that folds up for 'easy' travelling and takes a full round to deploy.

Make him a barbarian, fluff a greatclub as being a moderately small piano with a handle, and call it a night.

Alright Veeky Forums, I need y'all to share with me your best D&D/Pathfinder stories. I'll start
>be me
>playing D&D with a new group a few years back, all in the marching band together
>play a gunslinger
>4 arms, broken as fuck
>meet party members
>human warlock, seems legit
>a satyr bard, alright
>and then there was Max
>7' tall fighter
>seems alright
>then I'm told he's 9 years old
>and the only words he can say are "chocolate milk"
>his weapon is a pig tied to a stick to make an Earthbreaker
>wtf.jpg
>so the next two hours when something like this
>we all meet in a tavern
>PIs or some shit
>go to investigate
>Max tries to kick down the door
>nat 1
>gets pissed, eats the doorknob
>what is this bullshit
>searching for clues
>satyr eats pillow
>y tho
>suddenly orcs follow us in
>shit makes no sense
>they set the house on fire
>fighting orcs in burning house
>Max gets to -4 HP, only survives due to stop drop and roll
>we knock out and then save the orcs
>we find out that we're looking for a necromancer unicorn named Jackson
>and the session ends there
>I never play with these people again
>find out that my character shot himself in the head with his two M16s
Pic unrelated

God damn it I fucked up

Implying he is alone in the sentiment.

Ok, it has about the fun value of a random meme picture, but that is a generous two seconds of entertainment and then you are settled with dragging it out multiple sessions.

>muh popular opinion

But the popular opinion seems to be OP is funny shit. Unless you have been busy samefagging up there.

Yup: fucking nowhere.

People who do this to their dogs/kids should have them taken away and never be allowed to have either again.

You're going to grant this saddo a cart. He will either pull it himself via a strength check he passes naturally or another member gets a pet/cart horse. If he play's ball, makes a battlecart with spell artillery and keeps to guarding, battlefield control, and being the party center by armor plating it for an AC boost, then fine. Sounds like a great time, really!

If he refuses it, intentionally limiting his own functionallity for the lulz, you have a problem. Talk it out, take him asside and ask what his plan is, be an adult about it. If the answer is a functional FU, Rocks fall that can be stopped with his heroic self-sacrifice. If he doesn't play ball, party dies, roll up fresh party for all. If he does, he should get the hint, but explain why to the others individually.

That seems to be the case.

The fuck are you on about? He ain't even making a point, its just articulate bitching.

>"He is, by all accounts, the worst bard in all of Skyrim."
>"Apparently so many people sought his death, Astrid had to hold a lottery to determine the client."

I would have no qualms whatsoever with this character in my game. He'll run into a lot of limitations, but fuck it, it's his character. Who am I to get in the way of his fun?

You're actually completely correct, don't let these retarded reddit transplants keep you down.
That said, OP almost guaranteed made up his story because those kind of posters don't even play games. They just come to Veeky Forums for "epic Veeky Forums screenshot threads"

>everything i don't like is reddit
>everything i don't like didn't happen
you and every other joyless faggot are the cancer killing my board. Veeky Forums used to like shenanigans until you queers infested it.

And how the fuck do you know this is an actual inconvenience? For all you know the bard could easily hoist the thing over one shoulder and calmly walk along. But fuck trying to give a character personality, right? Just have him play the fucking flute like every other FR Bard that gets rolled up and not try something interesting.

Your Daily Reminder that Veeky Forums in 2017 is basically /r9k/ but we have games.

Go Battle-Bard or go home.
>make your bard instrument your voice
>dual-wield longswords
>take Two Weapon Fighting as early as possible
Yell at people while stabbing them. Your party will thank you.

>It's either one extreme or the other!
For fuck's sake, just cease.

agreed

All I can say is that 'At least it's not STDknight the Antipaladin'

youtube.com/watch?v=A2AvE6BlSZY

Mute the gay shit and play it with dis.

youtube.com/watch?v=gxEPV4kolz0