The villain notices that adventuring parties love gold and magic items

>The villain notices that adventuring parties love gold and magic items
>He decides to bribe your group with both instead of fighting you
What do?

Fuck him, he killed my family or whatever, probably.

We'd join him in a heartbeat. Hell, half the party have already been tempted to turn to the villain's side just for the hell of it.

Take the magic item and use it to kill him
And then take the rest of his stuff

What if he offered dental and free health care?

Magic items and gold are side dishes
The party's goal is to suck XP out of your bones

As the saying goes - a patient calf sucks two mothers.
Take his offer, kill him, get the bounty for his head. No bounty for his head? Well, why then we are on his tail in the first place?

Only a third-worlder would consider such offer special.

If he has the money to offer that, we can still take it

...

I'd rid the world of his commie ideals

>What if he offered dental and free health care?
The offer's bullshit, dental has no mechanical in game effect, and free health care just means he buys you a cure light wounds wand and a restoration scroll, which is total cost of 1,500 GP, or the loot you get for killing 6 CR1 camels.

Really not worth it.

What if it was Dr Doom?
Would that change anything?

If it was Dr. Doom, we wouldn't have been opposing him to begin with.

What villain shit does Dr. Doom even do anyway? I don't read the Fantastic Four comics and I don't really remember how the movies went.

Depends, if we're already there no we're gonna cleave that asshole apart. If not, we're still gonna cleave that asshole apart, it'll just take longer

This happened a few sessions back. The party narrowly avoided selling a party member into slavery when they were offered LOTS of money.

>1,500 GP, or the loot you get for killing 6 CR1 camels
nigr u wot

Basically, Doctor Doom is always right, he did nothing wrong at any point of his life, and he can never lose. If he somehow loses, it later turns out to be just an imperfect robot replica of him.

>Villain offers party chance to join him
>Support the idea
>The rest of the party shuts down the idea
>Party later becomes a bunch of stereotypical murder-hobos
>My character is probably the closest thing to a good member of the party

>1,500 GP, or the loot you get for killing 6 CR1 camels.

Doom isn't a villain everyone else is just super jealous and constantly want to ruin his awesome plans. All Doom wants is friends and power but all of the mortals are just so inferior when compared to him.

I wrote "Good" on my character sheet, and I meant it, asshole.

Exactly one of my players would take the bait.

The other three are positively aligned and would drag him out of it.

Doom always wants what's best for humanity and his plans are always flawless until Reed RIIIIIICHAAAAAAAAAAAARDS shows up and messes everything up. And also Sue likes Doom best.

Do not negotiate with habitual murders who are beyond the means of anything but the DM's wrath to punish.

Why did you think the jews wanted back into the middle east?

Holyshit

HOLY SHIT

OP
YOU BAG OF DICKS

I LOVE YOU

why not just curse some gold? whens the last time a pc bothered to cast detect magic on some gold coins they found on a corpse or in a drawer?

Rape the elf.

Has he personally slighted anybody in the party? Will his plans have a major negative impact on their lives or the lives of anybody they care about?

If no: Two thumbs up, load the cart and ride off into the sunset.
If yes: Cut him off mid-temptation with a screaming axe charge and a barrage of magic missiles

>"there's more where that came from"

go home victor

he spent a lot of time doing a lot of petty BS just to try and annoy Richards

My current party has something similar going on in our last sesh. The Prince we were helping turned out to actually be an evil cunt, but he offers us just about everything we could ever hope for. We're taking the week to decide what to do

are people really this deranged? I can see why this hobby is for fat nobodies.

Would probably split the party 2-2, with one wildcard who could go either way. DevoPaladin + ThiefRogue VS ChampFighter + ValorBard. Moon Druid wildcard.
Even if the villain died after, he'd have ruined the party's faith and trust in each other.

They follow him for a while, until someone convinces them that they could kill him, loot his gold/magic items, then get rewarded by the good guys.

Then reminded that the rewards the good guys are offering aren't things they are willing to steal.

Doom was actually given a future vision of Earth where if he isn't ruling it after a certain amount of time multiple end of the world events occur.
That's why he's dead set on taking over the world.
His schtick is that he's the second best at everything.

You know, I've been here for years and I'm still not really sure if the apparent frequency of characters being blatant autistic sociopaths is unironic reality or just a meme.

He will pay you. Also he has a regular job with specialized knowledge. You could kill him or make more by working for him over a long period of time. On top of that free dental and healthcare that covers any health costs at all. Not only that but an investment manager in the company will aid you as well. Finally being as strong as you all are if you prove loyal and effective promotions and possible landed noble positions or ruler ship positions down the line.

Bribes only work if the actual resolving of the conflict of interest by violent means is somehow detrimental or less pleasant to BOTH involved parties. Other anons presented that sufficiently by stating the likes of 'I murder him anyway' and 'I gain more by killing him'.

Ignore these nigger faggots defending Doctor DOOM, he's literally the Kim dynasty + super advanced robot tech + dark magic powers. Sometimes, and I mean SOMETIMES he just wants to be left alone in his castle in Latveria where he rules over a bunch of feudal peasants with an iron fist, but most of the time he's trying to fucking destroy everything

>give party loots
>SNIFF SNIFF. IS DATS MORE LOOTS WE SMELLS?
>N-no
>WE'S SMELL MORE LOOTS.
>I-i insist it isn't l-
>WE WANT LOOTS.

Adventurers are locust. Just kill em.

We don't take bribes.
We will however allow him to monologue about his motivations and intentions for the power he seeks before fighting or joining him.

Work for him until his sudden but inevitable betrayal.

Half the party last big campaign were bought off by the BBEG. He was promising interesting and long-term employment.

To be fair, that wasn't just money and loot, he'd done his homework and we all got a really finely-tuned offer each.

(It didn't actually change much to be fair, we ended up saving him from the REAL big bads a bit later on)

>If he somehow loses, it later turns out to be just an imperfect robot replica of him.

Except this one time...

>Only a third-worlder would consider such offer special.
Or an american.

My players are vindictive as fuck, if they develop any feelings of antagonism against him they will betray him and hunt him until either of them is dead.

>Take gold
>Kill him
>More gold

Thatsthejoke.jpg

It's like you never heard that great comment how US of A is a third world country with first world tech and not counting few spots with civilization, a fucking wasteland.

As if that would stop this gang of murderhobos.

Vaguely:

>Enchanter Wizard: *incoherent screaming from rage*
>Tactician Blacksmith: "Pass. It doesn't mean anything if I don't get it myself."
>Monk: Would take it, leave to donate it, then come back and kick the shit out of them anyway
>Wind Knight: already rules a small nation, would not be amused by petty bribing
>Bard: Would negotiate for like an hour before going "nah"

Man, our party is not gonna get cash it seems

Barter to get more down the line, take what he's offering, leave, get paid on a regular basis, maybe end up working for him at some point, realize down the line they became the villain, enjoy henchman life. Make next game about beating the former game's heroes to finish their work.

We probably rape him and sell him as a sissy slave for some filthy burdel.

He's basically Batman if Batman was allowed to fuck up.

I'd fuck squirrel girl

>Cleric: sees no purpose in such trivial baubles before the might of his god
>Wizard: not the exact method of seducing him required, but if they knew what he wanted, he'd turn in a second
>Paladin: Die, evil creature, you are not for this world
>Paladin: I exist to destroy monsters, not accrue profit!

If the magic items were worth a shit, he would use them to kill us.

Seeing as how he's trying to trade them away, they're probably cursed, and killing him would allow us to take them anyway even if they're not cursed.

The fuck is wrong with your party?

After doing some quick mental math my character decides that yes, enough money does heal all wounds. I take my fabulous fortune and retire.

"Or"?

>Money and magic items
Party is already swimming in dosh(thanks to the Mentalist and his phenomenal luck in gambling), and magic items(thanks to the Warlock and his love of forging and enchanting new items), so no.
>dental and free health care
Warlock has both of those covered, through Cleanliness spell and a high Medicine Secondary ability.
We help him get back to his home universe. Seriously, what's up with these sporadic bubbles and portals to other universes that keep popping up? First the Deathclaws, then a few accidental trips to Gensokyo...

This actually happened to my group, they are investigating a magical cataclysm but didn't like how poorly it paid, so when a group of mercenaries and grave robbers offered them lots of money for historical artefacts they took it and killed the party member who objected (with his OOC consent). Now I'm running an evil campaign apparently…