You suddenly become a fully armed and armoured Tactical/Devastator/Assault Marine (your choice...

>Black Rage is a benefit

> Physical therapist
Guess I'm an Apothecary? Yay for being a HQ choice!
So if I'm an apothecary I'd totally start research on cloning, thus making an army of mes and advance society by force.
Also killing 'Nids players

>Rawbooty Girlyman's seed

I fucking end myself on the spot.

First, I need a new toilet. Porcelain doesn't support the weight of an armored primaris marine too well.

Secondly, I walk over to my brother's place to show him my new cool toys.

Third, I get rich doing strongman competitions and throwing pianos for cash.

>become a ultramarine techmarine
well, wish I was a salamander, but regardless I'll show humanity how wrong they are about space travel and gyrojet

Honestly? The same shit as I'm currently doing only as a semi-immortal war machine.

In the real world one or even 1000 marines wouldn't get that far trying to conquer the planet.

Lord Astelan of the Dark angels conquered a single planet by himself, you have no excuses

spess mahreebs have big benis tho

As I am laying down in bed, my newly embiggened form crashes through my cheap, already creaky bed. With the sudden crash and my shocked flailing, I collapse the floor of my apartment, killing my cat who is sharing the bed with me. As the apartments in the four-plex I live in has nearly identical floor plans, there is a food chance I crush the nice Mexican couple that lives below me. This will cause a ruckus. I assume police will be called. I live pretty close to the station, so it shouldn't take long for them to arrive.

1000 marines would have no problem conquering a planet though. When nothing can harm you and you play smarter than just start shooting everything I think there are good chances you'd succeed

just consult the codex and you'll have this planet kneeling before The Emperor in no time.

>When nothing can harm you
You severely underestimate the capabilities of our modern military.

The only way 1000 space marines conquers Earth is with orbital support from their space ships.

Heck of a growth spurt. I'm over 6'0", so I guess I'm a Primaris.
I'd probably briefly consider going off and winning all the wars ever, then instead just go back to doing what I was doing but bigger.
Need to replace all my clothes, my bed, all the chairs, and so on.
At least dying isn't much of a problem any more.

Well, my chair is good for 500 pounds, but I suspect a Primaris in armor weighs more than that. Assuming the floor holds, I am slightly boned, as I am up a flight of wooden stairs from the ground floor. On the plus side, I am perfectly positioned to rescue the emperor if he's stuck up here with me.

Isn't 1K marines an entire fucking chapter?

yeah our militaries are actually fairly good at what they do and we'd take a good toll on them, but you're assuming regular war. Marines don't do regular war.

Within a week, all world leaders and HQs have been blasted from orbit or exterminated by multiple, simultaneous and devastating deep strikes.

Fall through the floor, start praising Tzeentch. Once I can do psyker things at decent levels, magick my armor into looking like cool Thousand Sons armor and then do stuff I guess.

Engage my Susan gland, cause can't use stairs.

One day I'll be cool and original.

I stand up from the ground i just found myself sitting on, and go buy a sturdier couch.

I work with databases / storage and interpretation of information...

Does that make me a Librarian? If so I don't do anything differently except try to develop my psychic might.

Cry because i am not a descendant of best primarch.

Blackface and painted armour. Be the hero all kids in the ghetto look up to, forever change world demographics.

>Cities like Detroit become Forge powerhouses, shitting out advanced warmachines faster than they can be destroyed
>Africa turned into part mining colony for raw materials and part conservation land "to remember our humble beginnings" guarded by 6 foot tall tribesmen wielding thunder hammers

Keep doing what i'm doing i suppose. Maybe go for a run in my underwear and try out my new musclebound body.

Even assuming the military would be able to kill space marines (which it would, indeed), my main point is that they would avoid direct confrontation with the entire might of modern military (helicopters, planes, tanks and so on), but instead strike key points, considering that the guards of such places wouldn't be armed to fight fully armored space marines.
No amount of infantry could stand to bolters, and I guess the marines would be intelligent enough to avoid heavier stuff. And if they have a few techmarines with them, the earth is finished

>Be reporter
Not really sure if that translates at all into any Space Marine role. Maybe Librarian or Master of the Signal?

In any case, I might try to become a boxer or similar physical role, since I can now do it better than anyone else and can't really get hurt.

Bioscientist/Physics teacher so either Apothecary or Librarian here.
I'm gonna make the assumption that we get weapons and shit too?

Step 1 start making recruits
2- make weapons
3- overthrow the government and install a sortition based church of the emperor
4- start advancing space program
5- with my army of marines conquer non compliant countries
6- join the great crusade in sphess

The other students in the laundry room with me will get a very rude surprise as there is a sudden Primaris man-mountain standing right next to them.

cant get erect though

YOUR TIME HAS COME, SOROS

you would need whites or asians for forging
and about demographic change, do you imply a genocide of non-blacks? that doesn't sound like a salamander thing honestly

>tfw i'm a tailor

Apart from destroying the table that I've got my feet up on, I'd next head upstairs and absolutely destroy my noisy neighbour. Then I'd head into work and tailor make myself some absolutely fantastic looking armour. Glorious.

>guilliman geneseed
Lol nah. I suppose im a techmarine, and i would continue to design the building im working on, however it is now 1000% more FORTIFIED.

>Need whites or asians for forging
Not if not-vulkun teaches them and is a strong leader for them to follow. People with heroes have a good chance of following in their footsteps.
>Demographic change
Perhaps I used the wrong word. I implied blacks get their shit together.

>Gene-seed of Roboute Guilliman
I can live with this

>be tactical primaris
>suddenly can't fit in vehicles
Fuck.

Also it'll be hard to explain the plugs on my body when I enter any athletic profession. But still walk everywhere exposing my newfound godlike physique

I have no clothes. I cannot get clothes.

Why do you do this to me, user.

I believe you overlook the lack of the bandana, and thus no infinite ammunition.

First order of business, shove Cruddace's head up Ward's ass, then give Kirby a marine-sized kick in the knackers.
Next, go work for a PMC or something until filthy rich (this may require blackmailing a few dictators or whatever, I'll figure it out)
Buy majority share of GW, reinstate WHFB with a reasonable price of entry and 5E rules
Spend rest of life gleefully coming up with autistic lore for both franchises and perfecting my painting/modelling skills
Army priority list: Lizardmen, Eldar, Orks, Orcs, Skaven, Tyranids, Blood Angels
Post ads on dating website looking for 7ft tall musclegirl with a cbt fetish that's also hardcore into ttrpg's. I'm gonna live for thousands of years, I can afford to be picky.

I was assuming I suddenly pop in with the gear, which just destroyed my decidedly economy sized car.

Mostly I'm going to live the social media celebrity life and get a great Youtube/Insta following in the fitness and strength works, also start an MMA career and dominate there. DO strength sports like highland games, world's strongest man, etc.

Hard to cover up the cyber and implants though, so we may have to be very covert about some things. I'm definitely not hormonally normal when drug tested, for instance.

Assuming we have the gear, we're also going to sell ourselves as a mercenary for sure. First have to figure out if we can make bolter rounds somehow, or just replace marine weapons with modern weapons. Don't know how to explain the gear to the military, government and other curious individuals though...

Already in the military, what do I become ? A vanguard/sternguard ?

I'll just enjoy it, because I'll be empirical proof that there ARE female Space Marines.

(((female)))

Not everyone is a trap user, females do exist and occasionally post here, believe it or not.

A real female wouldn't randomly post a picture as saucy as thighhighs and a short skirt unless she was a total unapologetic slut.

Fuck your shit, I'm a space wolf.

Do space marines have intel carriers?

Change AFSC's.

>that stuffed bra
>that fat mid section
>gross legs
>downward photo

It's a dude!

...

Not sure what specialty a landscape worker would have, but as for wat do, probably go vigilante or something.
You still have it, you're just chemically neutered.

>replace bolter with modern weapons
I know this means you'll be lugging around a 50 cal like a pistol but first thing that popped into my head is using a regular human AR-15 with your yuuge oversized hands. pewpew!

>Be me
>Sitting with friends in college radio booth
>Inaugural radio show
>Suddenly I'm a primarine
My first thought would be: "Would they still let me play rugby?"
My second would be: "How tf do I get out of this tiny-ass room?"

But yeah, as a primarine, I could probably go pro in any sport I wanted, so that's probably what I'd do.

...

There's perhaps three non-MAD tier weapons we possess that might kill a kitted out SM and I have no idea how our big tank hunter rifles would fare against imaginary metals and Ceramite. So our odds of hurting one are low and they are completely lethal. A couple bolter rounds would break a fighting unit hundreds of men strong and if he has any sort of dedicated anti-armor we're double fucked.

So while one marine could not take over the planet, we'd glass ourselves or eventually wear him down. A tactical squad could suppress a city and a hundred could fuck us up at today's tech level

>A couple bolter rounds would break a fighting unit hundreds of men strong
Maybe if they aren't from Best Military (tm)

Slaanesh might have a solution

Assault Marine, go play outside with jump pack

>female Primaris

Enjoy your broken Pelvis the first time you try to walk.

BEGON FABIOUS

>Movie Marines

Bruh.

Bruh, the main gun on the Leman Russ is 120mm and that eats marines for breakfast. Guess what most tank guns are these days?

The Land Raider has 120mm(ish) of effective armor.

Trying to guess how marines would fare against today's shit is an exercise in frustration because the writers throw whatever numbers they think are cool right out of their asses and onto the paper without having any idea what they're talking about, and 40k fluff has the consistency of dog vomit on top of that. AND all of that is being compared to 40k future stuff that we don't know how it stacks up here anyway.

OT, great I'm a tech chadmarine now. Been said before but not all of us live in super robust housing, I'm probably going through the floor and into the shop under my apartment.

My life is now over. I'm probably going to be whisked away to some lab somewhere to be carefully dissected.

If not, I need to
>Build a new car capable of hauling my sorry ass, or modify a semi (as that is probably what it'll take to cart my armor around anyway)
>Get custom chairs, keyboards, tables, showers, etc. capable of bearing my weight/interacting with my HUGE HANDS
>Pay for all the damage I caused
>Try to avoid publicity somehow
>Build my own house or live in a warehouse, I have enough problems with low doors as is and being a chadmarine is gonna make that way worse
>Find a job with minimal public interaction
>Pray my hugeness doesn't draw too much attention while shopping

At least I'm a techmarine.

>become salamander techmarine
>personally call out Drump
>tell him he has 30 days to remove himself from office or he will be forcibly removed
>frump now has the choice between looking like a bitch in front of the whole world or looking like a bigger bitch by actually leaving
>win win for world
>conservitards BTFO

Low tear bait

I would start picking off world leaders I don't like if I was a marine, though.

>my main point is that they would avoid direct confrontation with the entire might of modern military (helicopters, planes, tanks and so on), but instead strike key points
Yes a bunch of marines on foot are surely going to outmaneuver fighter jets and attack helicopters launching from all over the country/world.

My chair is ruined.

I topple oppressive governments the world over, probably starting WWIII in the process. Then I start WWIII if im not successful, group together the survivors under my benevolent guidance, figure out how my tech works, make more marines, begin worshipping chaos, lead humanity into a brave new world

>CBT fetish
>aroused by cognitive behavioural therapy
?

>You suddenly become a fully armed and armoured Tactical/Devastator/Assault Marine
Aw yiss, become a superhero.

>your choice, gene-seed of Roboute Guilliman
GOD DAMMIT I WANTED TO BE A SPACE WOLF. Fine then, if I gotta be an ultrasmurf, I'll be THE ultrasmurf.

>nottinghamanon
>March to warhammer world down the road
>force myself onto the board of directors after laying siege to it

You know how you outmaneuver jets and choppers? By sticking to population centers where they can't freely ruin your day.

I'm 6'1" tall, so primaris for me. Riht now I'm sitting in front of my computer, so I guess my chair will be completely obliterated. At the same time I hope not to destroy my pc along with my desk and floor as I fall on my new armored ass. I have a internship at a newspaper so I will probably become a librarian, which would actually be really awesome. If not I'd like to be a tactical variant.

I'm 6'1" tall, so primaris for me. Riht now I'm sitting in front of my computer, so I guess my chair will be completely obliterated. At the same time I hope not to destroy my pc along with my desk and floor as I fall on my new armored ass. I have a internship at a newspaper so I will probably become a librarian, which would actually be really awesome. If not I'd like to be a tactical variant. Other than that I would work for the military which would be the best option in my case.

Few cms off being Primaris. At least getting the woodwork done should now be much easier than before.

How well does space marine armor fare against modern military tech anyways?

Assuming it's 1 vs something the size of a battalion.

Depends on the Battalion.

An armored battalion/artillery batallion might stand a bit of a chance.

Chaplin since you spread fake news

I'm an IT guy who does Blacksmithing as a hobby.

There is no way in hell I am not a Salamanders Techmarine.

HVAC tech so I'm now a Primaris tech marine.

First thing I do is use my tech marine powers to undo the taint of Guilliman's genome then turn myself into a son of Russ. Then the purge of Europe begins. And I'm talking about all of Europe, for the God Emperor Trump.

>Primaris Techmarine
>Go the American Government
>Offer up myself for science
>America starts the wars of unification
>Wins
>Trump finally gains his true form as the god emperor of mankind

My death won't be in vain.

>Infantry soldier
Chill out knowing I'm the top dog now

What if I have an engineering degree but work in insurance?

Does that make me some sort of Techmarine Apothicary?

assault marine
>drop self into North Korea.
>Rek shop
>be named emperor
>take China
>take South
>take russia
>take europe
>take america
>take the stars

Based user

Assuming I still kinda look like me, if muscled up, I guess I just carry on as usual. New clothes will be expensive, but that's aight. Will have to lock up the muhreen gear for a rainy day.

That makes you a neeeeerrrrrrrddddddd.

What the hell do you do that translates into an assault marine?

chainsword, evasion, terror.

So you are leatherface?

6'2, so Primaris.
Work at a hospital In Histology/Cytology, so apothecary. If I'm gonna have to have Guilliman's gene-seed, then I might as well take advantage of It and get into politics or military strategy. More pressing matters would be getting clothed before I get arrested for public nudity.

well my chair breaks thanks to now weighing over 300 kg i am unable to type on this keyboard thanks to my fingers being HUGE id hit multiple keys at once probably struggle to get through my door as im now WIDE AS FUCK and probably have a panic attack thanks to to ALL my senses being suddenly 10x better and the flow of information becomes overwhelming

ex military so im taking tactical (dont underestimate tactical niggers). first thing im going to do is test this new bud out. be nice to walk and lift stuff without sounding like someone is breaking plates near by.

second thing, rejoin military go SF, stack bodies till i find the emps and start the great crusade

Start cleansing my country of illegal aliens.

are you a treecutter?

dude you have a whole new system to prevent you having a panic attack. be cool you can rock this