ITT: tabletop-related sentences you never thought you would say 20 years ago

ITT: tabletop-related sentences you never thought you would say 20 years ago.

I'll start:
>I prefer ordering my minis from China, they are cheaper and better than the local alternatives by far.

>That bloke over there is actually "she"

Any at all, because I was 2.

Man, he put up walls to prevent snoodly woodly. This man thought of everything.

Story?

Oh no, I've just seen a few pictures like OP's, where someone's solution was to extend the arm of one of your party to whatever the goal is, with "snoodly woodly" written around the arms.

>My players won't set down their phones long enough to focus on playing the game.

To anyone who liked E.Y.E and went into this thread for this reason, they recently announced on french forums that they wanted to work on another opus after perfecting Space hulk

>trpgs are a boring waste of time

>Dungeons & Dragons is such a simple and fast-paced game, I love it

More like 5 years ago but still

>I'd love to play a game, but I'm too tired and nobody has time
Fuck me, I don't even understand how it happened.
Just, one day, we all looked around and realized we weren't teens, but grown ass men with shit to do and pre-beta release humans to look after.

>I haven't played with a real group in three years...

Oh hell yeah

Same.

"Can I use arcane lock to put him in a chastity belt?"

Twenty years ago I thought Thomas the Tank Engine was king shit and that my mermaid onesie pjs was the best outfit in the world.
I don't know what my toddler self would think of my modern self's Demon-hunting Coyboy dolls that I play cards with.
Anything I say is something I never thought I would say.

I tried looking for minis in ali express and I found jack shit. Where do you find chinese minis?

I know, right?

God, right? 10 years ago, all my buddies were constantly over to game. Got off work at 11pm? Fuckin come on over, I'll setup the table and we'll play Mordheim for 2 or 3 hours. Now it's, "uhh...I'm going out of town with the wife this weekend. How's next month?" "Well I'm leaving for a business trip then, but what about this date?"

"I seduce the dragon."

I hate that.
I hate that as well.

>I don't have that rulebook, let me take a minute to download it real quick.

Wait.....the Space Hulk people are the madmen behind EYE?
Does....does that mean I should give SH a try?

Oh fuck yeah.

it's worse on roll20/discord because I can see them playing video games while we play.

Chyna?

>it's worse on roll20/discord because I can see them playing video games while we play.
Haven't run an online game yet, but when I do, I'll have the same standard:
If it becomes a distraction, it stops or you go.
Knew a guy who got dozens of texts an hour, but it didn't slow him down or distract him enough to affect the game, so I never said anything.

space hulk is a great game, but VERY unstable for amd cards last time i played.

Multiplayer sounds fun in theory, but I personally think the single player is very fulfilling. It's a unique mix of tension, action, and suspense.

>We were all chibi anthropomorphic animals and somehow the game wasn't complete shit.

> 'Painting minis is actually really fun!'

One of my friends is 19 and doesn't like to be out after 9, because it's important to him to be in bed early now. I hate it and I want to die.

Dear lord, thank you user

Yes, and yes. SH's great.

One problem is that the plot kind of changes to a typical space hulk scenario half way through, but it's not enough to be a dealbreaker.

Well, maybe there's special someone sharing that bed with him...

>My ex-wife didn't approve of the hobby.

I literally don't know where the last 10 years went. I'm nearly 30 and I'm shitting myself.

>My half demon chosen of the gods is totally awesome let me tell you all about him.

Seriously, looking back at oneself before one learned that a good character isn't necessarily the most awe inspiring super charged mofo in the world is always painful.

oh wait, damn, I got confused, somehow that processed in my brain as "shit I said back then I never would now".

Now it's
"You will enjoy actually organizing game teams to make a profitable game more than playing them. Also doing taxes is actually more satisfying than getting a character to max level in any given MMO"

I'm only 18 but I can already feel the time slipping by faster and faster. My first month of college is just gone, it's crazy.

"No, you can't play a hooker, what's wrong with you?"

You should see doctor about that, normally folks retain bowel control until their 80's.

i just keep the game going and if somebody doesn't notice it's their turn I say that their character just stood there while the monsters attacked them.
Realizing that they lost half their health or more while fucking around does wonders for kicking their asses in gear

>The blue block is the sexy barbarian, the green one is the strong barbarian. Both are still stabbing you.
As uni students we can't afford actual minis so we play with colored wood blocks from a kid building toy thing.

...

"Next week, we're doing character creation for my homebrewed Kingdom Hearts system."

It's almost done and I'm super excited.

Green text?

Shit man. People are addited to their phones, checking emails , text and the time is one thing.
But this is like getting cucked. I feel sick just reading it. No way would I stand for that.

I'm glad you've managed to be productive despite your crippling autism, deviantAnon.

"My friends in San Diego, Chicago, Tallahassee, and Dallas are experiencing a sixteenth of a second lag in our Shadowrun game. THIS IS FUCKING UNACCEPTABLE."

Here.

>Be him
>Be two year old
>Cry
>Shake rattle
>Stop crying

#relatable

is it going to be that feddie rainbow six game they were talking about a while ago?

I'm glad she's ok with it now

...

What game?

YES
THE BROZOUF MUST FLOW

I don't have real-life friends I can play with, but I'm playing D&D with people on three other continents.

>'Their noses shrank three sizes that day.'
Maid RPG while sleep deprived is some shit.