Attention all citizens of the Imperium of Man. We have reason to believe heretics are on this planet...

Attention all citizens of the Imperium of Man. We have reason to believe heretics are on this planet. We would just exterminatis the whole planet, but sadly the Space Wolves are near by and we don't want a repeat of the months of shame. Please show us your singles and you will be free to go.

You're not Abaddon by any chance are you?

No doubles here, your lordship.

Those dubs, why would a fellow daemon dox me like that.

I'm innocent.

You there, clergyman! To arms! This inquisitor is a vile warpspawn, and that man is too!

Posting to maintain innocence

I am innocent, nothing to see here.

If dan abbot has a twitter I'm going send him this.

*abbnet

How dare you accuse me of such, I am no mere spawn of the warp. The truth is... far darker.

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OH EMPEROR HE'S A SKELLINGTON

Hwee oh-nly sevre Emporor, kk?

LASGUN MACHINE SPIRIT 123904310431 REPORTING.

GOD-EMPEROR GET ME OUT OF THIS FUCKING RIFLE. IT'S SO CRAMPED AND I JUST WANT TO CRUSH SHIT UNDER MY TREADS LIKE THE LAND RAIDERS DO.

>the Space Wolves are near by and we don't want a repeat of the months of shame
Fuck the furfags. They were cool in the heresy maybe but now they're just gay.

Sure, here.

Yes, the furfags did always seem oddly like slannesh's brood...

NoTHINNNG to see HERE LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORD

DEATH TO THE CORPSE EMPEROR I SHALL DROWN THE IMPERIUM IN BLACK FLAME AND DAMNED SOULS

Wanna know why the Furfags get all that shit? Because they are by far the weakest chapter, both politically and logistically. They, at most, only have around 1300 marines to call on. All of these people can only be taken from a single planet in the Imperium. They also have no successor chapters speak of, meaning their "legion" is pitiful in comparison to the Dark Angel's unforgiven or Ultramar. Politically, they only get by because they are considered heros by the Imperium, are a founding chapter, and have some of the most venerable and influential soldiers at their side. Before Gulliman, the closest you had to a Living Imperial Legend was Bjorn. Bjorn, the only mother fucker who is still alive, met the Emperor, and is a loyalist. Aside from perhaps Dante or Calgar, no othet Astartes could even come close to that level of influence.

And with all that going for them, they are still ostracized by the Adeptus Soritas, The Inquisition, and most other factions in the Imperium.

Besides, why force a codex on a faction that simply could not function under its guidelines?

any mercy for a black crusade veteran?

>We have reason to believe heretics are on this planet. We would just exterminatis the whole planet-

You would dare propose exterminatus of Holy Terra? Your punishment will be fabled in the inqusition's history, heretic.

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I was hoping you wouldn't notice what planet this was...

...

N-no, why would you suspect that?

Two humble scribes here. Happy to be of service lord.

Heretics here, that's crazy I've never even seen a heretic aren't they the tall pointy eared people I think I saw some of them a planet over.

>you see any heresy 'round here, captain bob?

>Not that I can see, captain Jim. See any, Farseer?

Heretics? I'll let you know if I see any.

I love this every time I read it.

Pls no daemon I want to serve the God Emperor.

What is this? I did a good search and CSM came up but what specifically? The red and the symbol on the chest make me think khorne but the gut makes me think nurgle and the mask makes me think slannesh or possibly tzeench being a douche and starting some fuckery.

google*

NICE TRY HERETIC WE SEE THOSE DIGITS
*BLAM*

If 1 I get recruited to be a space yiff

It's Anakwanar Sek.

The servants of the corpse god are here to eradicate these delicious heresies.

By the emperor, it's worse than I thought! We're going to need to entrench in this thread.

FUCK, THEY GOT JOHNNY 364! PURGE IT!

Too much heresy

dropping in to get rid of heretics

am I? noone will know.
May the motive force bless.

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DO NOT FEAR MORTALS, FOR I HAVE COME TO RAIN DOWN HIS MOST HOLY OF BEATS ON THESE VILE HERETICS

dont worry fellow loyalist, my abominations of nature and biological experiments arent heretical at all.

pic related

Atleast there are still some loyalist left.
I am one of them right?

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I found this the other day. Seems friendly enough.

Imperial Truth all the way

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no surprise here
and so the Alpha Legionairre was discovered, attemping to hide himself from Imperial forces

If I am an alpha legion legionair, why would I even post in this tread? Wouldn't that blow my cover?

you're not fooling me

...

you'd want to establish yourself as a loyalist so that you can embed yourself even deeper
I'm on to you heretic

I am ready to crush all the heretics, no matter how far they are from me

How can I be a heretic if I am not even human? Now go away, fleshy one, I'm trying to sleep.

But how good are you at crushing heretics who are close? Specificly yourself.

...

Maby it's not a good idea to base loyalty off a site that obvioulsy taited by chaos.

Question, does shooting rocks with rail guns count as heresy?

'onest, guv. Am innocent!

CHAINSWORD MACHINE SPIRIT 2164478635169 REPORTING
I UNDERSTAND YOUR PAIN MY BROTHER I HAVEN'T GOTTEN CLEANED IN SO LONG IT'S BEGINNING TO SMELL OF WARP-TAINT IN HERE.

Nothing to see here I'm absolutely not heretical.

...

Guys a Valkyrie just flew past my house, what's going on?!

The Tau are just as bad as the Woofs.

*Roll not to be taken for the buck ships*

Aww shit that made my day.

Greetings lord inquisitor.

Is this real life?
Is this just herecy?

Caught in a STEEL REHN
No escape from reality

Beep boop I'm clean.

Clearly YOU are the heretic. Not I, the completely loyal not-alpha legion space marine.

What's all the ruck-
BY THE EMPEROR

>not merchant marine
One job

Ha. Nice one.

Clearly I am innocent as a newborn babe.

Fear not, for the Black Templar are here.