Finish quest

Quirky loot is the best. My players' favorite item to date was a flute that summoned a light rain for a few minutes.

>Drawback

It's an invisible salt shaker, so nobody can actually see you shaking the salt onto your tongue.

Okay, that one made me genuinely kek. Good job.

That also sounds generally useful.

I currently have a Dark Eye character on standby who is basically on the quest for a ring that summons insignificant but tasty amounts of food from thin air once a day. (I hope me and my offline friends will get together to continue that game at one point, it was really fun.)

>and now, your next quest will be to take out the leader of the poisoner's guild!

Do we have a cleric who already does that for the party? That's super useful to have and do if we don't, and worthless if we do.

I love quirky loot. It always cames to be useful in the most unexpected times and ways. It's better when the GM had nothing prepared for it and has to accept your bullshit because it was him who gave you that bullshit in the first place.

Dude if I can identify its properties then any one running a magic item shop worth their salt could to.

>worth their salt
But are they worth their unpoisoning salt?

>get poisoned
>feel funny, weak
>make blowjob motion
>miraculously healed

Salt shaker

>and worthless if we do

>cleric runs out of spells/mana
>cleric's out of favor with his deity and cannot heal until he does penance
>cleric's the one who's been poisoned, poison makes him delirious and unable to pray

It's a good backup is what I'm saying. And doubles as a salt shaker.

Okay, next question:

>a donkey with a small cart
>a torch that won't burn out, but does not generate heat and can't set fire to anything

Which quest reward do you take?

Torch. Fine PC I'd be if I needed a magical item to set a given area on fire.

>have magical unpoisoning salt shaker
>fight assassin, get stabbed with poison blade
>sprinkle salt all over myself
>assassin says "it's good you come prepared."
>tfw assassin is a cannibal

The torch, duh. I can tie it to whatever, have free hands and not get burned.

If the assassin is a cannibal planning to eat you, why does he poison you?

>assassin gets cured of his poisonous way of living

Temporary paralyzing poison to help capture the prey alive.

He's an elderly Drow, he can't chew.

Donkey, as i never play characters without Darkvision.

I'd just cover it with a tiny pouch so I could keep track of it, then just shake the pouch. No problem.

>Not giving the most goddamn convincing blowjob motion possible while using it
Clearly you're missing the best part of the item

>not bullshitting bystanders that it's a divine power given to clerics of the god of gays

He's a cannibal, not barbarian. He will of course cook you first, destroying the poison with heat.

What the fuck are you going to do with gold?

Anti-poison salt shaker? That's next level.

Seasoning

Well, he actually used venom rather than poison, and venom is occasionally safe to ingest.

Take the quirky item and use it to fuck up any plans or counterplans the bad guy throws at us. Poisoning the river? Sorry lol

Lock me and my friends in separate cages? Good thing I have that bag of wind to blow the key over to my companion.

Feed me to gelatinous cubes? Good thing I have that amulet of gelatinous cube riders

I love quirky loot, some of my favourites are the bagpipes of invisibility, which turns the wearer invisible if played loudly and the ring of atonement, which requires atonement but also allows you to atune one additional item (the greater version is actually use full and allows 2 extra)

>bagpipes of invisibility
Those are actually really useful in certain situations. If you need a distraction, those cause a lot of confusion.

But is it worth putting off your masterwork plate armor

Why would a cat-burglar need with a plate armor? as a mouse, it helps if one of the cats I steal from gets clever

9 times out of 10, the quirky, unique, but ultimately useless magical item. Unless I need the gold for something I want immediately.

bump

1d4chan.org/wiki/List_of_Veeky Forums%27s_magic_items

I want to touch fluffy tail instead

>wizard hires my character, a big friendly viking, to hunt down a genetic experiment of his that fled into the caves and prevent it from laying eggs/integrating into the ecosystem
>kill it and bring back the eggs it did lay
>given a choice between money or a self-chilling flagon
treasure > money

>like a salt shaker that nulifies poison in every meal
How the fuck is that useless? Something that nulls poison in every meal would have kings fighting wars to get their hands on it.

>self-chilling flagon

I always imagined in fantasy settings sans potatoes you would be scoffed at for drinking your alcohol at anything other than room temp.

What if the bag looks like a penis?

I'd just keep the item. If it's useful, cool, if not then I can just sell and probably get more money anyway since it's rare.

The item.
We're already multi-millionaires, are a rather renown adventuring party, have our own pub-soon-to-be-adventurers-guild and our group's official leader is a noble in the dragon empire after playing a big role in saving their capital.

Ironically, we almost got poisoned once if it weren't for our dwarf eating shit way faster than us and noticing in time.

OP Clearly made a mistake providing a magical item useful to any player worth their salt.

But what if it was magical soap bubble blower: You need to supply the liquid soap, but the resulting bubbles will last magically long time.

Would you then get the gold or the magic item?

Will they last a long time or forever?
What about them bursting because they touched the ground or any other surface, are they more resilient to that than regular bubbles?
Do they count as magical projectiles?

...

>any player worth their salt.
',:^)

>not
>am now cured and also cured

Bagpipes + Silence.
How does this work, they cant play loudly, but that can be played in a manner that would be loud if it wasnt silenced.

Not forever, just like several hours if not a day. They read as faintly magical to anybody with the capability of measuring such, but are not supernaturally resilient so can be squished with even little kids.

Useful enough then, if they can at least touch a surface without immediately bursting. Definitely a take, if only to produce bubbles of magic that can potentially be used for other stuff, since magic items creating loose magical objects always have potential uses, especially if you have a way to harvest the bubbles.

bump

How little of a kid do I have to hit it with before it doesn't pop

I would totally make a sword that leaves a trail of bubbles. Just to fuck with people. Still a +1 weapon to boot.

>gold
>ring of invisibility that makes the wearer invisible only to other living creatures that have worn the ring

inverse one ring?

No other powers. Just invisible to other living creatures who have worn the ring. I'd also be interested in seeing how long it takes players to figure out what it does.

>I'd also be interested in seeing how long it takes players to figure out what it does.

>put on ring
>"Huh, this does nothing."
>sell it to a merchant in next town
>"Where did the merchant go?"
>"The fuck are you talking about?"

Since a silenced bagpipes of invisibility would have been OP at our level, it became a sidequest to learn how to do silence it without breaking the item

I have an alchemist that could turn that into a legitimate weapon.

>mook wanders into bubble
>the alchemist's fire pooled at the bottom is freed from the inert gas and coats him in fire

Imagine a hallway full of these things. Fucking gimme dat.

Bubbles that set you on fire is a cool enough idea that I'd definitely sign off on that.

Fuck me

>a working divining rod, put instead of water it points to spiders

>a working divining rod, but instead of water it points to erections

Think about how much a nobleman or a king would pay for the salt shaker, though.

I remember a DM I worked with made a variant on the 3.5 Bag of Tricks that basically combined all of the different variant's random draw results, so basically you had a much, much smaller chance of getting the random critter that would be actually useful for whatever problem you had at the moment. Need a warm body in combat? Draw a bat. Need something to get through a small space? Bear.

It felt very Looney Tunes, and even though it was still probably technically more useful than the intent of this thread, it came to mind and I regretted never actually getting it and finding a use for it.

>DM gave me a ring that can generate a small amount of spices for use during cooking
>Start being put to sleep by a magical entity
>Start huffing chilli powder to keep myself awake

Item.

>No one would actually pay a lot of gold for something that looks like an ordinary salt shaker.
>or you can get a quirky, unique, but ultimately not very useful magical object, like a salt shaker that nulifies poison in every meal

Go to an apothecary, buy some poison, go to a high court and perform for those in power the wonders of said salt shaker by eating food that you made and poisoned under the watch of credible witnesses. Make bank.

Are you touched in the head?

>"Your majesty, a gang of charlatans asked for an audience with you, they talked of poisoning food and magic tricks."
>"Throw them in the dungeon."

Ya but that's just being a cleric.

Oh, shit, I'm sorry

>end result is the 'silenced' bagpipe would only make you 50% opacity
>make up a story about a bagpiping ghost that curses people
>thugs and bandits, simple superstitious bunch they are, will fear the haunting sounds of the bagpipe

>or you can get a quirky, unique, but ultimately not very useful magical object, like a salt shaker that nulifies poison in every meal
That is actually pretty useful, I would take some magic item over gold