Players tasked with sneaking into bandit fortress and killing bandit leader

A tard who does Let's Plays where he fails miserably and bitches about how the game is too hard when he's actually just stupid.
youtube.com/watch?v=zs1IKZv8YyY

Fuck you DM, stop no-selling any tactics and plans that aren't roll initiative and kill everything until you win. Let players win through non-straightfoward tactics for once.
You are a shitty DM, along with every DM who thinks they are clever by shitting on players they deem "clever" including the quotes.

>>I'm confused and think I misheard and tell them that while a few bandits would be sent out to put out the fires that it would put virtually the entire fortress on high alert as would determine that, logically, someone or something must have lit that fire and sneaking into the fortress would become much more difficult as a result
Fire's aren't that easy to put out, especially ones made on purpose. Even Firefighters don't exactly instantly have a handle and control on fire despite modern technology.
>virtually the entire fortress on high alert as would determine that, logically, someone or something must have lit that fire and sneaking into the fortress would become much more difficult as a result
Literally doesn't matter because the chaos is still going to let them through easier as people are going to need to be moving -- and quickly -- to put out the fire
>Furthermore they might even be spotted by the bandits sent out to put out the fires
If they are disguised how the fuck is any random shmuck going to immediately tell they are outsiders? Fuck you, you are not clever by making enemies psychic
>I tell them they can go through with their plan if they want but it probably won't work out well for them
Retard railroading DM
>Players get spotted and two of them are killed as the other 3 barely manage to get away
How did they get spotted? By these psychic bandits?
>Players chimp out
Rightfully so. You're railroading too hard.

Didn't get enough (You)s last time?

>W-what do you mean my actions have consequences? RAILROOOOOOOOOAAAAAD

Ah. They're actually pretty skilled at vidya as far as I can tell; the problem was that they wanted to approach it like video games, where you're a demigod and enemies are either bosses or mooks who dissolve to your touch.

Not OP but their plan was retarded. You really fucking think several fires being lit in view of the bandit fortress, and that were specifically lit to draw the attention of the bandits keeping watch from the fortress, wouldn't tip them off that there might be someone trying to get in? Not only do you think the bandits couldn't possibly have spotted them lighting the fucking fires, but that they shouldn't have even suspected anyone might be skulking around? What, do you think fires just magically light themselves? Do you understand how fires work? Do you understand how anything works? How old are you, honestly?

Are you one of OP's players or something?

There's a difference between actions have consequences and
>These rough and tumble bandits don't have uniforms, probably loose fellowship based on benefits and will fracture apart as soon as the money stops coming in or the current leader dies but they are organized and disciplines enough to have rigorous identification measures and personnel accountability
Fuck off they are bandits not a professional military.
>wouldn't tip them off that there might be someone trying to get in?
It doesn't matter, you're still going to have to do something about those fires and it's urgent enough to cause chaos. Again these are bandits not professionals.
>but that they shouldn't have even suspected anyone might be skulking around?
What the fuck are they going to do, interrogate every person they don't recognize? If everyone is doing that then how the fuck are they putting out the fires? And if the bandit group is small enough to recognize all their members, then they don't have enough personnel to contain multiple fires.
Fires GROW retard, just because a fire is lit doesn't mean every bandit within several miles knows about it before it gets too large to be a problem. Depending on the distance, by the time the fires are noticable it might already be too late.
Maybe, MAYBE if OP wrote it as the bandits being suspicious of enemies setting up camp and searching the area it might be reasonable, and it still wouldn't explain how they somehow dealt with the fire.
>What, do you think fires just magically light themselves?
Dumb nigger never heard of wildfires. You know how big of a problem they are in some places?
>Do you understand how fires work?
Do you? You still haven't explained how bandits magically know about the fire while it's big enough to be more noticeable than smoke on the horizon but still small enough to be easily contained by a bunch of unprepared bandits.

Sounds like there is a lot of assumptions going on about the immediate setting of the bandit fortress. Maybe the bandit fortress is on a hill with a river and the forest is on the edge of some plains. OP needs to give more info,

Yeah, you have no idea what you're talking about and are just REEEEEEEEing for the sake of REEEEEEEEing.

>Fuck off they are bandits not a professional military.
>therefore they are blind retards

>It doesn't matter, you're still going to have to do something about those fires and it's urgent enough to cause chaos. Again these are bandits not professionals.
>A large spreading wildfire will cause chaos bust most certainly will NOT put the bandits on high alert. Nope, that fire must've started itself.

>What the fuck are they going to do, interrogate every person they don't recognize?
A) It's the middle of the night, in the forest, within sight of this bandit fortress. So in this specific circumstance, the answer would be yes. Honestly, since it's a fortress of bandits, the answer would be yes anyway. Or if not interrogate, rob anyone they don't recognize. As you keep saying, they're bandits. Maybe you don't know what bandit means and just think it means credulous special needs student, but it actually means an outlaw who kills and robs people.

B) Lighting a bunch of fires within sight of the fortress would put them on alert. I don't really know what else to tell you. Like you acknowledge that the fires would've been seen, and that they'd cause chaos, but you don't think it would alert the bandits in any way that something is amiss? You admit it would cause chaos, and the entire idea of the plan hinges on bandits leaving the fortress to investigate, yet you... don't think the bandits would suspect that there might be troublemakers about?

Just because you're retarded doesn't mean everyone is.

>Fires GROW retard, just because a fire is lit doesn't mean every bandit within several miles knows about it before it gets too large to be a problem.

No one said every bandit within seven miles. We're talking about the ones in the fortress that the fires were lit within sight of the fortress for the specific purpose of drawing attention. You stupid fuck.

Not an argument
>rob anyone they don't recognize
And depending on the size of the group, that would be a sizable proportion of the membership you fucking retard.
How many people do you think you can recognize?
>but you don't think it would alert the bandits in any way that something is amiss?
My arguments layer on each other. Just because they know something is amiss doesn't mean they can do anything about it other than respond to the direct threat i.e. the fire which will take manpower and time, manpower and time which is NOT looking for the perpetrators. That would require more people. Really it depends on the size of the bandit group.
>We're talking about the ones in the fortress that the fires were lit within sight of the fortress for the specific purpose of drawing attention.
It depends on how big the fires are.
>You stupid fuck.
You are a metagaming retard and worse you don't recognize that you are metagaming.
You have still yet to explain how the bandits magically know who the infiltrators are.

>And depending on the size of the group, that would be a sizable proportion of the membership you fucking retard.
How many people do you think you can recognize?

How many bandits are you picturing? Thousands? Tens of thousands? What, an entire city of bandits? With no distinguishing mark or feature to indicate membership? Just an entire city of thousands of bandits who have never met each other? Really? Is that what you're picturing?

Assuming it's within about 200-300, it wouldn't be too hard for them to recognize each other, assuming they're not literal retards like you. And that's even assuming they have absolutely nothing distinguishing their membership.

>You have still yet to explain how the bandits magically know who the infiltrators are.
Does it fucking matter? They know they're infiltrators. That's more than enough reason to kill them.

You seem to have an awfully trusting, credulous, non-violent image of bandits.

>Spot some chucklefucks climbing n
My wall after we saw a bunch of bonfires lit in the woods.
>im not psychic so they might be other bandits and i decide to leave them alone

>Assuming it's within about 200-300,
Yeah man assume the position that best supports your argument
>They know they're infiltrators
Stop metagaming nigger
See above

but didn't you know user? those bonfires are probably just wildfires. i don't know how wildfires work but they're basically just magic campfires that light themselves right?

nature sure is mysterious o0o

user, go watch some knife execution vids or something.
Take note of the distinct noise the victims make.
Slitting throats, contrary to how it's portrayed in popular media, is not a silent way to kill someone.

Not the og user you're arguing with.
>How many people do you think you can recognize?
If I recall, a person can have 100 friends, or can immediately recall 100 people and some immediate facts about them.

>Really it depends on the size of the bandit group.
Yes, which means there may be a fire watch if natural wildlife fires are common in the area. If they're uncommon wouldn't it be a sign of something amiss? It would be foolish to have everyone rush to the fires regardless. Too many people on one task slows it down and, depending on the distance from fortress to fire and assuming the fortress is flammable, not everyone would need to be sent. If the fortress is stone then this largely changes a lot and the immediate threat of a spontaneous fire might be put on hold to a potential scorched earth policy of the kingdoms forces.

>see bonfires being lit outside of fortress in middle of night
>catch infiltrators climbing over your wall not long after
>don't recognize them
>eh whatever they're probably just new recruits! remember what jesus said you must always give others the benefit of the doubt.

I pointed out wildfires exist as a counterargument to fires doesn't happen independent of human creation, not that the bandits in the hypothetical would assume a wildfire rather than a deliberate one.
Fuck off.
If I recall, a person can have 100 friends, or can immediately recall 100 people and some immediate facts about them.
The number is around 300 as far as I can recall.
> If they're uncommon wouldn't it be a sign of something amiss?
Yes but it might not matter if the bandits lack the manpower and familiarity with the group as a whole to deal with both problems at once.
Just because you know something is wrong doesn't mean you can completely counter it. Sometimes you just don't have enough resources.
>Too many people on one task slows it down
OP said there was multiple fires and being too slow means an increased risk of them becoming uncontrollable.
>If the fortress is stone then this largely changes a lot and the immediate threat of a spontaneous fire might be put on hold to a potential scorched earth policy of the kingdoms forces.
Yeah this is also a factor, OP should give more details.
Why are you assuming the players where caught in a situation the makes it obvious the players are infiltrators?
I can admit that I'm assuming the worst of OP and thinking he did something retarded like forcing the players to make a bluff check in a situation where it doesn't make sense because metagame reasons and the players failed it.
>eh whatever they're probably just new recruits! remember what jesus said you must always give others the benefit of the doubt.
Yeah because bandits and will cannibalize each other whenever they don't recognize the other, that totally makes for a sustainable group who put their lives in each others hands when out raiding!

You fucked up by explaining what would happen. Let them find out for themselves. They won't learn anything if you tell them how to play.

Try to use less complex scenarios when you're playing with new/dumb players. Even players who know the rules and etc can be completely oblivious to this sort of shit; most players don't take the world/game as seriously as you do, they're not considering the actual ramifications of their actions in a realistic world, they think in video game logic

try screening your players by "have they watched more than one season of game of thrones?" next time

Fun fact: 90% of wildfires are human-caused. The ones that aren't are caused either by lightning or by a combination of severe heat and drought.

It's the middle of the night, presumably not immediately after a lightning storm, and the fires even being lit would draw suspicion.

>Why are you assuming the players where caught in a situation the makes it obvious the players are infiltrators?
>Players ... then try to scale walls which I describe as being manned by bandits looking out at the fires and for what caused them
>Players get spotted and two of them are killed as the other 3 barely manage to get away

What does that imply?

>Yeah because bandits and will cannibalize each other whenever they don't recognize the other, that totally makes for a sustainable group who put their lives in each others hands when out raiding!

Yes, they put their lives in each others' hands. The hands of people they personally recognize, or recognize as being a member of their (most likely small, since bandit clans generally are) bandit clan. They don't put their lives into the hands of random strangers they catch trying to scale their wall, in the middle of the night, immediately after seeing several mysterious fires being lit.

>How did they get spotted? By these psychic bandits?
People can fail stealth rolls, you realize, and hearing is not a magical power possessed only by the few.

Shit nigger, I didn't read the OP I got mad too quickly because DMs pulling similar shit to wreck player plans.

>I didn't read it, I just read half of it, then blew up about it because I have a chip on my shoulder!

Apologize to the OP then reflect on your life. If nothing else, you have at least the fortitude to man up and admit it.

Don't really apologize to the Op,
he's a faggot for reposting this from another thread.

This.

You wanna stab 'em in the kidney, first. The pain usually paralyzes the vocal cords. After that, go for the heart, not the throat. Less messy, swifter kill.

Nice (you's)

Cringe

>Cringe
Ugh.

This. There's no problem that enough fire can't solve.

>Yeah man assume the position that's not completely and utterly retarded
FTFY

I think that user was saying that even if the bandits could tell the fire was artificial, they wouldn't be able to do anything with this information because their immediate priority would be to extinguish the fire before it grew out of control.

And really, I would give it to the players in this situation. A bandit seeing a brush fire coming towards their fortress would think "Oh fuck! A fire!" before they thought "Clearly this was made as a distraction."

It wasn't a bad plan.

>Ugh
>>>/reddit/

Teehee Maccaroni is the bane of my fucking existence.

Every fucking campaign that my GM runs inevitably at some point involves running into an NPC named "Teehee Maccaroni," who the GM affectionately describes as "an epic level sorcerer who's also a retarded nudist gnome."

Teehee Maccaroni wander the countryside with a unique Rod of Wonders powered by "retard magic" shoved up his anus, and he casts the Rod of Wonders by diddling his penis. He says nothing but his own name in different inflections and the phrase "I like-a the goodberry, gimme gimme the goodberry." The GM thinks it's hilarious to have this character show up during the middle of encounters we're struggling at and start jerking off magic everywhere.

But the worst part is his chant. He wanders around chanting his name, so when he's about to show up the GM will start low;
Tee-hee-hee, Maccaroni Maccaroni
Tee-hee-hee, Maccaroni Maccaroni
And then get louder and louder until he's fucking shouting
TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI!
TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI!

And the table loves it! The other guys I play with think this is the best shit! Teehee Maccaroni has been our table's de-facto inside joke, our signature "running gag" for six years now. When that chant starts up, everyone else joins in like a ritual; the whole table is expected to start chanting "TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI" by the end, and every fucking time I refuse because this is some embarrassing circa-2002 Penguin of Doom shit, it's always the same thing; "There goes user again! No fun allowed around user! user's just a big grouch who's getting angry because we're making him touch Teehee Maccaroni's penis again! Why won't you just let us have fun with this character, he's just here for dumb fun, you stick-in-the mud!"

These motherfuckers are all over 25 years old.

Teehee Maccaroni is going to be the death of me.

I see you too are a man of taste

Why the fuck are you still in a group with these degenerates

Why have you put up with this for 6 years

you realize online groups are pretty easy to get right

It's copypasta, newfag.

Fires starting out of nowhere like that would definitely be suspicious. It's a bad plan.

Depending on the size of the bandit force, you might try the old Trojan horse method. Counter-ambush some bandits from a fake caravan, disguise as them, and stick the undisguisable among the cargo to hide, waiting for things to calm down for the night to move. Unlikely to work with small bands since you'd be recognized as a stranger unless you had magical means.

Instant detection! INSTANT DETECTION! Hahaha! This is bullshit, man!

I've read the exact same story here a few days ago, just with a different ending (the players actually succeeded), and with the majority of posters defending them and criticizing the DMs buttblastedness.

So OP just wants people to agree with him, facts be damned, and to rake in (You)'s.

It's really you who sucked as a GM here. They obviously tried to kill the sleeping guard silently, and you're a literal autist if you couldn't gather that from the context. They probably operated under the premise that slitting throat is somehow silent instakill, and it's your responsibility as a GM to communicate that this particular trope isn't in effect in the setting.

You know what pisses me off a lot as a player? Inflexible GMs who play by the adventure book and are waiting for you to say the ONE phrase, or try the ONE approach, that the writer of the module imagined to cause the plot to progress. This is especially terrible in social/detective adventures. One time we hung around an NPC for about 2 hours because it was abundantly clear he had the next clue, but nothing would work, not Intimidation, not Bargaining, not Deception, until at some point one of us finally used the word "a favour". At which point the NPC went: "Oh, you offer me a favour? Here's the clue.". At that point I was ready to walk out on the GM. We'd spent 2 hours negotiating with that dude, and we'd been at Tit-for-Tat literally ten times. But no, the NPC couldn't act like a regular sentient being, he had to be a fucking computer game NPC who literally gets triggered by action X only.

>Literally doesn't matter because the chaos is still going to let them through easier as people are going to need to be moving -- and quickly -- to put out the fire
>chaos
>a small to moderate fire in the far distance would cause chaos
Wow buddy. Just because you panic when you see mild threats doesn't mean everyone elses's balls havent dropped yet.

>If they are disguised how the fuck is any random shmuck going to immediately tell they are outsiders? Fuck you, you are not clever by making enemies psychic
No one said anything about disguises, now you're just making things up. I'm gonna stop here. It must be hard having a room temperature IQ, make sure you tell your Mum she shouldn't have got drunk while pregnant. Shes welcome to drink now though, and seeing as she has you for a son, she'd probably be hitting the bottle twice as hard.

I read that story. More people than not defended the DM, not the players.

you think theres going to be more than 200-300 people in a medieval fantasy fortress? 30-40 guys is probably more likely.

I mean, you could get 300 if these bandits were comparable to a turkish quasi-state after the collapse of the sultanate of rome. Think something like the Ottoman Empire back when Ottoman the First was still alive.

Not to forget that the 300 bandits would require a social support structure of non-bandits. Unless you consider the families of bandits to be bandits by default. This would much rather become some kind of small town or tribe.

Too much fire?

>Not to forget that the 300 bandits would require a social support structure of non-bandits.
Well yeah, that's why I called it a quasi-state. When things are that small scale, it's hard to tell the difference between a large amount of bandits constantly robbing a small town and a petty king overtaxing a small town.

>playing "your plan doesn't work" instead of railroading them to get to the encounters you want and letting them decide the details.

I mean sure, if they come up with inane plans, maybe work that in to future adventures where you counting on them doing something stupid advances the adventure along, but punishing people for wrong fun just makes you a lame GM.

>room temparature iq
Do you mean 77 25 or 297?

I'm going to treat this as a DM greentest thread now

>playing with a genuinely autistic party member
>player needs to ask around for information
>finds a man sitting against a building with his head in his arms
>walk up to him, lean down in his face, and snap in front of him to get his attention
>homeless guy guys offended that they wont address him like a real person
>player gets offended because they didn't do anything offensive, just try to get his attention
>homeless guy wont give them any information, tell them there are other people around they can talk to
>player insists on talking to that guy and getting him to explain why hes so pisssed if they didnt call him names or anything

like they're a good player regardless and have a good attitude about stuff but they just genuinely don't understand social interaction in a game COMPLETELY dependent on social interaction.

>>>>/reddit/
Kek

If you are skilled and if you have proper dagger for that, you can go direct for the heart. From behind, directly behind the ribs, right to the heart. Instant and silent kill. You just need to be trained as fuck to pull that off precisely.

I have learned about that method from the guy who is veteran of the 90s wars while I was serving in the army

According to Christopher Lee when a man is jabbed in the back with a knife they don't scream. He said they look shocked and can't scream because they have a new hole in their lung and can't draw in enough air.

As he worked for the Ministry of Ungentelmanly Warfare he was probably talking from personal experience.

>it's your job to communicate that trope isn't in effect
It was communicated pretty clearly when the guy didn't die instantly :^)

Don't worry about it, champ. Leave the tough questions to other people.

Yes, but even then the bandits would be put into a high-alert state, if for no other reason than to make sure thier fort didn't burn to the ground.

They have to say they are covering the dudes mouth, otherwise there will most definitely be noise.

OP, give us three ways the players could have successfully infiltrated the castle.

>not just skipping the little plan and instead plopping them in room 1 of the dungeon, roll initiative

Another D&D game stalled in teh driveway :|

It must be real fun to play with with nothing implied. Do you make people do fortitude saves against passing out if they say they got scared breathless and don't mention when they started breathing again?

well if you use one of the videos of a cow at a kosher butcher that's an extremely retarded thing to use as a reference for killing someone in their sleep while you hold them down/cover their mouth.

This reeks of video game logic creeping into table top logic

OP is correct and went above and beyond the call of duty by providing fair warning to the players there strategy was nonsensical.
The common sense tactic would be to attempt to lure SOME of the bandits out by lighting fires and then ambush them, NOT sneak in.

You can, if you're sure you can get past the ribs. Kidneys are much less protected by all those pesky bones.

use a backfire. Literally fight fire with fire

Nah, it's still pretty dumb. If the bandits had half a brain between them in a halfway decent fort they'd have all the brush and trees and crap trimmed back in most of a bowshot around their fortress. This would both make it easier to kill people trying to sneak in, and make it difficult for a fire to sweep through undergrowth that's no longer there to the keep. The smart approach would be to arm up the bandits and get people to the walls and other entrances with their eyes peeled for trouble, perhaps readying a force to sally forth, because there's clearly some jackass out there starting fires and that's one short step to shooting flaming arrows at the people on the walls or any buildings inside.

Unless they're stupid bandits in an overgrown redoubt, and then they're all piss-drunk probably, which would make them almost as dumb as the players.

>Unless they're stupid bandits in an overgrown redoubt, and then they're all piss-drunk probably
So, bandits.

Ask anyone who has done any research whatsoever into criminal psychology. The vast majority of people who choose to break the law do so because they are lazy and not very smart. The ones who buck that trend tend to be absolute terrors.

You sound genuinely autistic as well desu

A lot of medieval bandits are just soldiers who went on soldiering when a war ended though. Them knowing enough from battles about how to have a defensible hideout makes sense, even if they're not all major tacticians.

And again, unless it's a wooden fort in a dense forest, they're not in that much trouble. And honestly, if they do rush out and the PCs sneak inside, what's step 2? The fort is clearly easy to scale, and they still outnumber the PCs heavily. All they've done is swap sides in their siege while also giving the bandits an obvious hint at how to drive someone out of the fort. After all, what happens if the PCs get inside and the bandits light a fire?

>A lot of medieval bandits are just soldiers who went on soldiering when a war
True. Take it from somebody who did his share of soldiering in the modern world: most of us aren't very smart, either.

>Them knowing enough from battles about how to have a defensible hideout makes sense
If one of those bandits was an officer, perhaps. Most rank-and-file scrubs don't learn about that shit; they just do what the guy in charge of establishing a strongpoint says.

Knowing nothing about the alleged group of bandits, I'd say that it's possible, but a bit unlikely, for the de-facto leader to understand defensive fortifications. Chivvying a group of lazy, undisciplined, violent thugs to put in the work necessary to build and maintain said fortifications is even more unlikely. Of course, I allow the possibility that I am completely off-base, and that the DM in question actually meant for this group of bandits to be a solid, coordinated group of former soldiers, in which case having a solid defensive perimeter around their outpost would make perfect sense.

But in that case, why would they turn to banditry when mercenary work is so much safer and more profitable?

No didn't you get the memo? The bandits are drunk blind deaf autistic retards with no uniform, no identifying marks, and no ability to distinguish or recognize faces, and the fortress is easily burned down but the bandits also number in the hundreds of thousands and immediately assume any armed person they see is a fellow member of their bandit metropolis.

Anything else means the bandits are psychc and the DM is just being a dick. The DM's only purpose is to provide pleasure to the players no matter how retarded they and their plans are. If a DM ever tells a player no, for any reason, even outside of the game, that DM is not doing their job and needs to be kicked (literally). If a DM's hands and orifices aren't covered in player cum then clearly that DM's clearly not doing his job. DMs exist purely for the pleasure and gratification of their betters (i.e. players) and any DM who fails to remember their place is scum and deserves to suffer.

>comparing modern thieves/drug dealers to people who don't live long unless they're good fighters, wise with the land and probably fairly charismatic

What exactly makes you think bandits would be able to conquer or build a fort if they were useless drunks that can't even tell disguised strangers scaling walls from the people they fight alongside on the daily?

I don't. The most reasonable assumption is that they found an abondoned one and jsut moved in. They probably have a designated shitting corner because they're not intelligent enough to understand that putting in the work to establish a latrine trench a good 100 yards away from base prevents infection.

>old criminals were smarter than modern criminals
No. Bandits believe in rule-by-force. That's why they're bandits. Then and now.

I'm not saying they'd be great at maintaining complex fortifications, but clearing out the surrounding area ans having a few traps seems pretty basic if they've even taken part in any sort of siege.

As for why, same reason it happened in real life, I suppose. Soldier work drying up also tends to mean mercenary work has dried up unless you move to somewhere with a war

Why are your bandits fucking retards?

Why are your bandits dumber than the average peasant? Most dirt-farmers even know enough to put up a fence and not shit in their house

Because most criminals are. It's not that they're dumb, really, it's more that they're lazy AND dumb. Even a dipshit can follow orders. I should know; I did. Unless there is a competent leader giving orders, though, nothing will get done by a group of bandits besides wenching, drinking, and attacking targets of opportunity. And why would I assume that they have a competent leader?

Because peasants are smart enough to figure out that banditry is a quick way into a shallow grave. Farming is harder work, but safer. Farmers aren't lazy.

They were smart enough to hold out in a fort and realize that a distant fire was a threat to them. They can't be that dumb

As I said, I don't have enough information to know if this encounter was a realistic reaction of an uncommonly trained and disciplined bandit group, or just the DM pulling shit out of his ass becasue he wanted to fuck over his PCs' plans.

It kind of sounds like a shotty plan regardless. It relies on them being smart enough to organize an effort in an,emergency to put out that fire, but dumb enough to not have any sort of preparations for that or for people just climbing the wall

>It relies on them being smart enough to organize an effort in an,emergency to put out that fire
Not really. Fire is terrifying. Most people when encountering fire have one of two reactions: Run away, or put it out. The realistic reaction of untrained, undisciplined individuals in the woods with fires encroaching would be one of those two, or both depending on the individual, and a complete breakdown in discipline.

If their leader was competent, which I have no reason to believe he would be, it would indeed be realistic to expect him to shame, bully, or likewise chivvy a guard force into manning the walls while others deal with the fire problem.

>underestimating your enemies

This has never been a good idea under any circumstance.

>be bandit with other bandit buddies on the wall of a sweet fortress our boss took
>fuck yeah, it's rum night
>"hey dude you smell something?"
>"Yeah, BBQ"
>looks out to the forest
>the forest is lit with fire
>shit shit shit shit shit
>drop rum on pants
>the drunk fuck next to me laughs because it looks like I peed my pants
>kick his face and shouts that there's a fire
>keep shouting because I am really drunk
>someone get pushed off the wall
>someone tries to open the gate to douse the fire
>someone tries to stop the guy
>the whole fortress is bananas
>maybe I shouldn't have shouted in panic
>at least I still have my rums
Wait, shit I spilled my rums
>fuck everyone else why are my coworkers idiots

Well, I was going with the assumption that these guys would be too dumb to realize the fire was heading their way until it had grown out of control, so more likely is the bandits simply grabbing what they can and running.

It's very unlikely to get the player's goal of having the entire fort run out and letting them sneak in, and if they do theyre going to soon be stuck in a burning fort

>heart
>instant kill

You are all retards, just stab them through the eye into the brain or break their neck.

There is no fundamental difference between an "instant kill" (aka braindeath) and an attack that causes fatal cardiac arrest in an adventure setting. In both cases, your target will still be unconcious and effectively out-of-commision. Sure, maybe the heart wound isn't "instant" death, but it's effectively no different.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Utica_(203_BC)#The_burning_of_the_camps

It's a proven tactic. Seems to me that even if they're on high alert, they don't necessarily assume the fire was intentional. And with people running around doing things, they're more likely not to notice your PCs hastily going to-and-fro in their base.