Your character has been captured and about to be executed

Your character has been captured and about to be executed.

Any last words?

Yeah, I do. Teddy Bear!

sho vagane

>In all honesty I never expected you all to be this gullible.

I'll let them puzzle out what I meant.

Buttcheeks. And boobs. Just wanted to say that one more time. Boobs.

Within a year and a day we will meet before God for your judgement

I'm going to need a dictionary. This will take a while. We'll start with "A".

You are aware how liches work right?

I lived as i die. Drunk, confused and a trumpet upon my lips.
Doot.

EI NATH!

"Such is life."

"Dimension Door"

You will show my head to the crowd: It is worth seeing.

*mutters some incantation under my breath* "Later sailors" *poof*

"When the highest king falls, I shall rise" or some other such vague prophesy to spook people every few decades.

I just wish I had time for one more bowl of chili.

"Why did the chicken allow himself to be executed?"

"...To get to the other side."

Full supervillain meltdown if there was absolutely no way to escape. Batshit crazy rage.

Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.

You're all crazy, I ain't done nuthin
Executed, how about I do none of that
Not me, nuh never. Ain't happening, nope

"my ancestors smile upon me can imperials, can you say the same?"

My character is a softly spoken monk, so no.

>Ha! You think this is my REAL head?

>I'm not entirely clear as to how you've managed this, but Kudos to you. . Also, please remember to vote yes on Solution Red-11, and may my manifold spawn consume the flesh of your genitals.

Gotcha!

*teleports behind you*
"Nothing Personnel, kid."

I have yet to receive my Funny Fries(tm), and would ask that someone posthumously complain to management in my stead.

>"NOW!"

FAX

Do you hear the people sing?

DEATH TO THE FASCISTS, FREEDOM TO THE PEOPLE! DEATH TO THE FASCISTS, FREEDOM TO THE PEOPLE!

DEATH TO FREEDOM, FASCISM TO THE PEOPLE! DEATH TO FREEDOM, FASCISM FOR THE PEOPLE!

I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.

"Do as you wish. I have already won"

"Fools! My trusty friends will save me from this predicament- Oh shit they already left me to die didn't they?"

"Do you?"

>If I die, the Veeky Forums curse passes on to you.

Goddammit, I asked to be impaled not beheaded.

My secret treasure is located in...

Both princes are bastards

YOLO, geegee no re

My ancestors are smiling at me imperials, can you say the same?

The aristocrats.

My character is a lich so good luck

Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I'll be back.

OMINUS
DOMINUS
AD HOMINEM
FINITUM
DIABLO

The honorable judge says you may take my head, you best not touch even the slightest bit of my neck, or you'll be sorry

Great choice desu

We'll cut at about jaw level to make sure.

Good. My thoughts come from the heart anyway.

"Any last words?"
*teating off his own head with a tentacle*
"Any last words.'
*talking to his own head with a mouth on his hand while growing another head*
"We have captured you abomination. Tomorrow you will be executed. They will chop your head. Oh shit he bit me. He has a mouth on his back. Woof-woof!"
*suddenly produces a coin he didn't have before, starts tossing it*
"Heads! Heads! Heads! Heads! Heads! Heads! Heads! Heads! Heads! Heads! Heads! Heads! Heads! Heads! Heads! Heads!"
*walks away*

As per tradition the executed are disposed of in the lime pit. Heart better enjoy lime.

Kill me now and I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine

>"After helping so many people... risking my life so many times... I really am a fool."
>proceed to despair, become a witch and kill everyone present

what is this edgelord snowflake garbage

nope.

I will be hung.

All I did was say to my wife, "That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah!"

"Pepperoni and Cheese"

To think all I ever wanted to do was sell insurance.

I cast a spell to vaporise the surrounding area

Can I have a glass of water?

IT WAS ME BARRY! IT WAS ALWAYS ME!

What a fool you are. I'm a god. How can you kill a god? What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. No Recall or Intervention can work in this place. Come. Lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy.

"You honestly think your puny lil axe will stop me?!? I am VONDAL, HERALD OF UMBERLEE! Strike me down and her wrath shall rain upon you!"


Also I'm a wereshark so that axe better be magic or we are in for a long night

>"I hope my backup insurance covers this."

Tell the Dwarf that I want him to fucking learn how to eat with knife and fork

Eldritch abominations are now edgelord snowflake garbage? No U!

"I prepared explosive runes this morning"

>Why are you guys trying to behead a skeleton?

Just three: Quickened Shatter, Thunderwave.

Twoflower?

If any of you have a message to give the devil, give it to me quick -- I'm about to meet him!

Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you're fooling around!

Hastur Hastur Hastur
Pazuzu Pazuzu Pazuzu

The person who kills me will be cursed with neverending kindey stones. Now the question is, are you a gambling man ?

Do it

Power Word Kill, Mass

But why?

Fear for I am not the only changeling in town.

>I am quick with child.

They nod. Putting your soul gubbings in front of you.

Getting executed by liches that aint a bunch of bitches.

>at the person who sentenced him to death
this is your last chance, free us or die

>prepares his grand escape

Rollo Tomasi

Rolled 14 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>Slight of hand check to escape bondage, adding +2 dex bonus and +4 from double proficiency.

My heart beats with molten lead

Took me years to realise this mess. Seriously, the movie is great, but I had a really hard time following all the subplots in it to make sense out of them. If not for the source book, I would still be pondering how the hell certain elements connect at all.

"Just a little off the top please."

Underrated, Kitty.

>Aw cmon! This isnt the way for me to go!
>How about you go and find the strongest guy you can and I'll fight him to the death? If I win I go free, if he wins I die. Either way the people win.
However as a monk I wouldnt actually try to kill my opponent. Just defeat them.

"Power to the man who thinks he can kill me, but you should all keep in mind that all damage I receive is replicated upon my attacker."

[insert quip about food and his method of execution here] "Look, can we get this over with? I promised my mother i'd write back daily, and i still have to go buy a new ink bottle."

Being that he's literally an entire eldritch creature non-euclidicly compressed to the rough shape of a human probably helps with the whole "survive execution" bit.

Probably just incoherent sobbing and begging.

FUS RO DAH

I am the bone of my sword
Steel is my body and fire is my blood
I have created over a thousand blades
Unknown to Death,
Nor known to Life.
Have withstood pain to create many weapons
Yet, those hands will never hold anything
So as I pray, Unlimited Blade Works.

>I commend my soul to the god that can find it.

The Aristocrats.

This is great.

And excellent choice, Mister Lipwig.

oh not again!