What is your stance on player's girlfriends showing up to the game "just to hang out" if they aren't actively annoying...

What is your stance on player's girlfriends showing up to the game "just to hang out" if they aren't actively annoying or disruptive?

Last week a player brought their gf based on some bs excuse and now wants to bring them again. She didn't do anything annoying really but I'm worried that once she feels entitled to be there it'll start to go wrong and she'll start to demand attention. I'm also really not interested in watching them smooch on my couch because >tfw no gf. The DM is being a pussy and putting this decision in my hands based on the game being at my house. Thoughts, tg?

either get her to play or make her fuck off

The last time this happened, the player's girlfriend got into a fight with one of the female players, the cops got called, and the group dissolved.

Whatever you do, don't voice your concerns to the rest of your group like a rational adult.

If she is doing nothing annoying, then let her be or you will get problems out of it.
I wouldn't do it if she was a dude but sadly it's not socially acceptable to have the same standards for women than with dudes otherwise you are That Guy.

>She didn't do anything annoying really but I'm worried
Read that line again.
Fucks sake, this is a board for people above the physical, and prefereably mental, age of 18.

kek

If she ain't playin', she ain't stayin'.

No non-players at my table. Boyfriends/girlfriends/crashing weirdos are a plague. Away !

Be an adult. Tell them both in no uncertain terms that the game comes first for those 4-5 hours once a week, and that while you currently have no issues, they have a right to know your expectations. As long as they follow the rule, she can stay and hang out.

Also ask them to tone down the PDA only if it becomes necessary. Don't demand; ask politely.

If she's not engaged in either playing or watching she'll inevitably get bored and start becoming an annoyance.

>What is your stance on player's girlfriends showing up to the game "just to hang out" if they aren't actively annoying or disruptive?
I mean, if they aren't doing anything annoying or disruptive, I'm fine with it.

But we all play on roll20, so it's not like she'll be too much of a distraction, and smooching on the couch won't be a problem. We've had people invite others just to watch before, it's never really been a problem.

This. I'll give her an npc to run.

>pre-emptive shit-stirring over imagined future problems
Looks like you're looking for a way to start fights and get him kicked out or the group dissolved.

It's not something I have to contemplate because frankly, the idea of any of my players getting laid in the near future is laughable.

A person who is there to "hang out" is inherently disruptive because no matter what they do they are being an unneeded disruption when there are likely already too many. Doesn't matter that she's anyone's gf, if he brought his male friend to just lounge about you should tell them to get bent and leave. Saying that they can only stay if they play might be tricky as well, because most likely you'll have a half-assed player being a X-wheel holding everyone down.

If he cares more about spending time with her than playing your game, why the hell is he still playing? He's got the rest of the week to spend time with her.

If she hasn't actually done anything wrong, then I don't think the situation really needs to be dealt with unless she does. You should encourage her to play though, otherwise there's a high chance she will get bored and disrupt the game.

Use this opportunity to fuck her. She probably has some self steem issues or is a easy slut(or why else would she want to hang with a lot of males?)

Bros before hoes

/thread

When we play 3.5 or NWoD my gf joins in but she doesn't know other systems, so when we play Exalted, Star Wars or Fate she usually makes snacks.

Just get her to goddamn play already.

It's your house, tell her play or GTFO. Visitors bringing random people to just hang around your house is the worst.

A friend of my friend shows up at our games and either sits in the corner on his laptop or falls asleep. I don't really have a problem with him but I can't help but think that he must not have a life or any individuality if he's that attracted to our mutual friend.

S t o r y t i e m

Attatched* not attracted

She can stay for a bit to decide if she wants to play, but at some point she will have to choose whether she wants to play or fuck off.
We got three pretty good players out of this approach.

Let her control some monsters next time, she'll have fun trying to kill her boyfriend, and will probably grow interested in playing for real.

this has worked almost every time for me, I usually have a lot more friends than just players over when I dm, because we're all used to drinking together on weekends and I've got the nicest house atm, and while they usually chill in a different room they'll pop in occasionally to control monsters or voice recurring npcs.

it might not work if your games are more serious though, my games are pretty laid back and silly.

Heh, how could you know?

Anyone who comes to a game just to "hang out" and not actually play is just going to be a distraction. She should play or gtfo. That said, it sounds like nobody will have your back on whatever call you make, so you're fucked.
I suppose that's one way to scare her off

Some people enjoy being allowed to hang up and sleep on the couch, even they do absolutely nothing else.

Sorta like cats, but bigger.

He doesn't seem gay just seems like a dull person who can't function without another human being around.

That's what's called a Freudian slip, your subconscious know he gay for your friend even if your conscious mind don't.

better prevent it now than later

>I suppose that's one way to scare her off
Are you really that ugly?

Think of it like this OP.
If you had a gf and you decided to crash in to her all girls meeting where they talk girl things what would their reaction would be?

The girls would be polite the first time an not say a thing in your face but when you went away they would pull stacy away and tell her this is their thing and she shouldnt bring her bf over to their girls night.

Try to be diplomatic and tell him ''Dude this is kinda our thing, we arent feeling comfortable when people not playing the game are watching us. We try to keep those people unrelated to the game at the minimum if you get what i mean. ''
And there, problem solved.

Most people, if not almost all are like that.

The key difference is, most people also instinctively know what to do in the presence of people. Imagine the bother of being the former and not the latter...

Assuming, of course.

>Sorta like cats, but bigger.
That's such a good description of him. I can't really wrap my head around it but I guess it's good that he's not distracting.

fpbp

Immediately decontaminate everything she's touched with bleach. Tell your friend your house is a cooties-free zone, you're already taking enough of a risk by letting a potential vector like him inside without him bringing Patient Zero.

Youre my kinda man.

Yeah he's prob one of the rare socially awkward extrovert.

At a minimum, this person is disrupting the play of their significant other. Best case scenario if she stays is a slight to moderate decrease in that players ability to pay attention and play smoothly.

On the opposite end, it can incite jealousy, cause additional OOC conversation, and she'll start "getting bored" and requiring additional attention. I've seen a player leave early every week because his GF was there and wanted the dick. She eventually became a player and it was much better. He still is mildly distracted, but the game was once again the primary focus.

I'd never play in that group. Granted, I have difficulties playing in a place where there is anyone at all who is not participating, even if they are in other rooms. I get self-conscious.

On the DM side, it is entirely fair to say you have veto power as the host.

On the gf side, it depends on why she's interested in spectating.

That's a fair point. It's one thing to do silly things like rolling dice, doing voices, and having fake conversations with people you know and are also doing so, but it's an entirely other thing to do is in front of non-participants, especially people you aren't close to.

>All this bullshit
After reading though this thread I had to remind myself that I'm still on Veeky Forums and this is an adult-only page.
Jesus, people, you are so fucking socially inept it feels like you were all rised in a fucking barn in Nowhere, Kansas

This, PnP-roleplaying is very fun and rewarding but ultimately also very silly and can be embarassing. I need a high level of trust before I can partake fully, the minimum level is that everyone present are also ready to be silly.

Grow a pair

Too late for you

If you consider your hobby silly or embarassing, why you even bother?

Reminder a thread died for this bullshit bait

I do many things in private that i wouldn't do in public.

*raised in a barn

You're welcome

Doesn't change the fact you are so big pussy you are actively scared about people laughing at your own fucking hobby.
Which is ironic, because you sound like a complete shut-in (the fuck you are even doing in a social-based hobby?), so by default you shouldn't give a fuck in the first place.

Cut the drama and do your job. If you have hard time playing because "some outsider" is watching you, you should seriously start to question if TTRPG is your actual hobby and not something you do, because you heard that's a thing for shut-ins.
It's fucking not.

You can go fuck my autocorrect already, probably it will care. I won't.

The weak should fear the strong

>Bait thread
>Strong
Not sure if I should be angry about it or just sad.

Because it is fun? You just can't say that someone is not 'manly enough' if he considers pretending to be a fantasy warrior to be embarassing if he has an audience... you just can't dude.

Not everyone is a natural actor that wants to perform for an audience. I honestly wouldn't want a person sit around and watch while I play regular boardgames with my friends either, it would not be embarassing, but it would be weird. Partake in the group activity or go somewhere else.

I'm married and have a circle of friends, I still don't want to pretend to be an elf in front of an audience. If you aren't willing to partake in the thing we are doing, why are you there, and just why are you not willing to partake but want to 'watch'? It's weird.

Also, wtf, JOB? I play PnP-games for fun.

This 'proud to be n3rd'-mentality is cringy. Be rightfully ashamed of shameful things ffs. I hate that 'nerd culture' is a thing now.

>It's fun
>I get pissy when someone watches
Means it's not fun, but embarassing for you. It's not a rocket science, m8.
And it has nothing about being "manly", but simple self-acceptance, you stupid shit. Next thing you will say is some shit in tune "I was bullied, because I liked Pokemon".
Everyone liked Pokemon. You were bullied for combination of being meak and an asshole. People who are just meak don't get bullied out of principle and just asshole are the one doing the bullying.

most of your concerns are fine, I don't understand why anyone who isn't playing would want to sit in and watch, but if they aren't actually being a problem then I don't think it will be bad.

getting upset watching them smooch is something you just gotta get over tho.

>I'm married and have a circle of friends
>I'm afraid they will learn what's my hobby is
Yes user, because TTRPG is so fucking ostracised and so evil and depraved they will all just walk on you.

PS
Don't try to invent social interactions you never had.

The fuck it has to do with anything at all, you stupid shit? Shouldn't you be on reddit or something?

>tfw forever DM
>tfw game is ran at my house
>tfw complete control

If you ain't playing, you ain't staying. This is my house, not a homeless shelter. I don't care who your girlfriend, boyfriend, brother, sister, or friend is. They can survive without you for 4 or 5 hours once a week.

What if you disagree with what should be considered shameful or not? I'm not talking about ignoring it or the consequences or doing so but just disagreeing?

It is embarassing. I do not understand how a grown man can not be embarassed when pretending to be a fucking wizard and acting it out, the 'equalizer' is that if everyone is doing the embarassing thing, it's not embarassing.

Doing a silly thing is not less silly just because you pretend to have some sort of 'nerd pride' or that you are 'tough' because you can 'own it'. PnP-gaming is silly as all fuck, just accept it.

>Holding games only once per week
Can we laugh already?

I think anyone being at a game who is not in the game has the potential to be a distraction or make people feel awkward or uncomfortable. It depends on who the person is.

I also think, based on how you describe this scenario, that you are one of these guys who is for some reason afraid of girls and thinks their presence is somehow inherently toxic, which is like saying, "I was bitten by a dog once, so all dogs bite people all the time."

What the fuck are you talking about? I was never bullied, why are you making up weird scenarios about strangers?

Some people have jobs and lives, user.

>I do not understand how a grown man can not be embarassed when pretending to be a fucking wizard and acting it out
Stop playing TTRPGs.
Seriously, stop playing. Because you've just questioned the very point of them. More, you managed to get yourself tangled into playing them due to herd mentality.

Congratulations, I've just solved you 10 lenghty sessions with a shrink and something around 700-1000 bucks.

Uh... I play with those friends. What are you smoking? I can only imagine you as a fat person with a fedora from your style of communicating.

Fuck you, I am happy that the things I enjoy can be seen as good to enjoy by a growing number of people, and if there's some cringe attached to that, oh well I'll take it.

More people enjoying a hobby like roleplaying, that I see as naturally enjoyable, and not just dismissing it off-hand for being obscure or unpopular? Good. It's a thing I think a lot of people would enjoy if they tried it.

Fuck, I mean, after I had enough fun with various LARP events, my goddamn mother, aged fifty-two, went to a horror LARP all on her own, had a great time, and her presence as an elderly looking woman on the player team was seen as a plus by players who thought "Hey neat, this is someone from outside our usual area and she's not judging us or being a twat or whining for attention"

Missingthepoint.jpg

Are you actually autistic, or did someone bully you about roleplaying and this is your defense mechanism? There's obviously something going on.

Is saying that roleplaying is silly/embarassing some kind of trigger word for you or something?

I'm perfectly fine with roleplaying with a group of friends, I just don't want an outsider staring at me and refusing to participate while I do so. Why is this such a huge issue for you?

>my house
You're the king. Keep her out.

>so fucking socially inept

YES THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE

If you're not socially inept why the fuck are you on Veeky Forums on a Saturday night. Leave.

>You were bullied for combination of being meak and an asshole.
What's up with this meme? People are generally bullied because they were easy targets, sometimes they are also assholes (because even bad people are sometimes victims) but most of them it's completely unrelated to their moral character.
Heck it's not even some darwinian pressure to man up or stop doing socially unacceptable things because many people are being bullied for things they can't change.
I dunno what's up with all that bully apologism, bullies are not hitler but still.

The thing that's going on is a never-ending circle of self-loathing of TTRPG players. I'm sick and tired of another "People scare me" thread or n-th "B-but they are not true players, they are here just because of fad!" bullshit.
Stop that shit. If you are embarassed, because someone is watching you playing the game, you have a SERIOUS self-value issues and I'm not even sure why you bother with doing something that makes you uneasy. Tabletops are as vanilla as they can be. So what are you ashamed about? Making an ass of yourself in front of people who don't give a fuck?
Are you at least aware this is an adult-only page? Because you are acting like insecure 13 year old who is trembling with fear someone is going to laugh about him.

People just don't give a fuck. But you making a drama out if it are the very fucking cancer of "scene" - an idiot who is trying to find comfort in feeling special by doing mundane things and in the same time being scared that people will laugh about it.

And I'm sick of this shit. I remember how much fucking effort it took to organise normal and not self-loathing gaming group in the campus, because everyone acted like a little "I'm not going to roleplay in front of strangers" primadonna.
Are you going to hide from people for rest of your life too, because they might just look in your direction?

So grow a fucking pair or change your past-time.

>I just don't want an outsider staring at me and refusing to participate while I do so.
Why is this such a huge issue for you?

It's Sunday morning, you stupid cunt.

23:57 in the Her Majesty's glorious United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, foreigner.

Nobody said anything about nerds until you brought the issue.
And there is nothing to be ashamed too.

Tabletops are the most nerdy thing you can do outside of LARPing, I don't understand how you can call that 'vanilla'.

Dude, nobody is impressed with this 'nerd power'-bullshit. When I see a fedora autist with a cane I am embarassed for him whether he is embarassed or not. Humans are social creatures and we have a strong sense of shame, participating in very nerdy activities ARE a rightful source of embarassment if you are doing it in front of people who are not participating.

Accept that you are partaking in a seriously nerdy hobby, and that most normal people WILL be ashamed of pretending to be an elf in front of strangers, or shut the fuck up.

>Anglo trying to be revelant
My sides

It's 8 in the morning

I think it's fine. A female friend of ours came to a session and I was like "you can be like Navi and every once in a while chime in with a 'hey! Listen!'" but she didn't do much aside from watch and chat.

I don't get these threads. Just be pleasant to people. Be human.

Yeah, playing PnP-games isn't nerdy at all. Jesus fuck...

>I don't understand how you can call that 'vanilla'.
Let's think for a while...
Because it's not being about drag, which is a death penalty in half of the world?
Because it's not about anything sexual at all (not even magical realm stuff)?
Because it's a game of pretend, a literal game, with strict rules, mechanics and what's not?

If you think the most embarassing thing to do in life is meeting up with a group of people and playing a game together, hell, wondering what's "vanilla" in it... son, did you ever left your hometown at all?

And like already pointed out by another user, you are the only one talking some shit about "nerd power" and "nerd pride".
The fuck it has to do with anything?
Try having animal mutilation as your hobby, then ask what's vanilla in playing tabletop game.

Go back to do some redditing already, maybe there someone will give a fuck about your buzzword.

Let's grab your buzzword and run with it - ok, let's say PnP games are nerdy.
... and?
This means absolutely nothing. It doesn't even translate into my language, that's how much of a buzzword it is.

The sun never sets

So we are taking things as far as dragqueens and weird sex-perversions... sigh.

Ok, for all us non-dragqueen non-sex-perverts out there, who don't generally have any contact with dragshows or sexual perversions, PnP is very nerdy, and roleplaying is something you don't easily do with strangers watching you.

Well if we are just plain going to feign ignorance of what words mean then I guess we aren't going anywhere with this

Don't be a pussy.

There's nothing manly about roleplaying. It is very fun, but it is not manly. You can be a manly man and do it, but it is still not manly.

Polefag here and PnP games are almost exclusively metalhead territory ever since they were introduced. There was a short stint when it was also part of goth scene, but that died out along with said goth movement.
And not sure from where the other user is, but nerd also doesn't translate into Polish. At all. I think "Revange of Nerds" was translated as "Zemsta frajerów", but frajer just means a loser and can mean absolutely anyone, without any specific conotations, lifestyle choices or anything at all. In fact, it means someone dimwitted, stupid and easy to fool.

In my country, Sweden, nerd would be understood as a socially awkward, probably non-sporty person who enjoys hobbies such as PnP-games and is too into computer games.

>roleplaying is something you don't easily do with strangers watching you
Because?
Aside you being a massive faggot, that is.

It's like you never played/run a game on a convention and always sticked with that tiny minnie group of yours from your hometown, population 500 and dwindling.

I never said I don't know what it means. I'm pointing out it's a buzzword. The same type of buzzword as "autism" is, despite there is a thing like autism.

Why are you so obsessed with "manly" and "nerd" and in the same time making a retarded axis, sitting those two on each ends of it?
Are you by chance stupid for real and not just pretending?

non-participation is not an option, you can play or leave

Do you think anyone is impressed with the nerd wearing a fedora because he dares to wear the fedora outside? Is he less of a faggot for being 'strong' enough to wear it in public, or should he just not fucking wear the fedora outside? I am arguing that he shouldn't.

Do whatever you want, but I'll continue to play games with people I am comfortable in, in settings I am comfortable in. I have absolutely zero need to forego shame and pretend to be an elf in public.

You and point never met.

I'll just pass, since you are too concerned with this nerd bullshit to even notice the actual point.

There is no point, user. You're jsut a faggot trying to one up other nerds. Has nothing to do with prode or courage or apathy, it's all just a powerplay for you. It gets your hole wet just thinking how much better you are than everyone else. You put the stick up your ass yourself, just to prove how much better you are at carrying it than people who actually stick things in their asses.