A group of evil druids spends decades perfecting the art of planting trees in animals

> (OP)
>>evil
>I bet that you also eat meat, you litteral nazi.
>I hope that you become a tree.

Literal.

Also what's wrong with eating meat?
Boars do it.
Wolves do it.
Deer do it.
Cows do it.
Daily reminder - Hitler was a vegetarian.

youtube.com/watch?v=-o6UxDD0lSM

>when someone tries to anwser seriously to you, while you are obviously mocking a vegan piece of garbage such as Gary youfoshit

user, you are cute, but I like eating corpses just as much as every other balanced individual.

>Hitler was a vegetarian.
I know you're memeing and I don't want to derail things but consider this a friendly reminder that he wasn't.

Too late, faggot.

There's no defending Hitler.

I think that this user was simply saying that the whole"Hitler was vegetarian" meme was simply one of Goebbels inventions for propaganda purposes.

THERE'S NO DEFENDING HITLER, user

To make vine zombie animals afterwards, and then go full Children of Winter on civilised world

Lol. You are trying waaaaay too hard now.

The last of us fongal apocalypse, but with tree-people instead of fungi.

They're gonna plant figs in those whose thieving rods harm the smallest shoots of vine.

>mfw when an evil druid plants seeds in my dick with her cervix

I'm pretty sure that's a thing that can happen in King of Dragon Pass.

But user, Hitler did nothing wrong

Except he actually was, the eagles nest even kept a record of his meals while on vacation.

Grazers just hate that he can instantly dissolve the moral argument, because they need to justify being self-entitled pricks.

Hitler did nothing wrong.

IPs logged. Dispatching SWAT teams.

Thanks, citizen.

...

...

thats how you make dryads

btw do tree eating tree-animal hybrids count as cannibals?

...

>I hear of morning wood but this is ridiculous!

>various wildlife that humans would normally eat now have trees growing out of them that produce fruit
Does their fruit taste like the animal it came from? Could I go gather pork flavored apples from a boar?
What about the nutritional value of said fruit?
Those evil druids may have just saved a lot of animals.

Brilliant !

>To what end?

Well see, druids can control tree's right?

So obviously they're spreading this high contagious tree plague so that they can control the entire world and turn it into the druid utopia.

At least that still gives us some time before phase two.

What's this?

a concept for rapid forest re-seeding

like after clear-cutting or heavy-burn forest fires

Pretty cool

I mean

Does it hurt? Does it actively detract from the lifestyle of the person with a tree in them?

As long as you keep it trimmed I could see it being a pretty good fashion/cultural statement, not to mention being good for the environment. Added bonus if you have a fruit tree and/or gain access to photosynthesis via symbiosis.

>Starvation? Scurvy? Exhaustion? Fuck all that, I have an orange tree on my shoulder.

His love of bavarian sausage and game pie is well documented you fuck.

don't spoil it.

because FUCK the self righteous vegetarians out there that think they can be smug or dictate my diet.

vegetarians that are just vegetarians are fine. but FUCK the ones that think they're better because of it. let them be compared to hitler so they fuck off.

and of course shade out walking.
but reaching above yourself might get irritating, as would knocking shit off shelves.

that and you might well get scurvy FASTER with an orange tree because it would be taking those nutrients from its fertilizer...YOU

We burn the forest they're in and smoke them out

who hurt you

>deadpan soulless voice
the world did
>end deadpan voice

I worked with a team of vegan or vegetarian technicians for a while...the smug just about killed me.

Those druids sound neutral at worst. Starving peasants, forced to work 16 hours a day just to achieve basic subsistence from inefficient agriculture would LOVE to take advantage of feeding from sun directly via photosynthesis. At least, after a few hundred people get killed for witchcraft by the superstitious. Grafting plantlife, from mosses to leafs, onto human forms would be a very altruistic thing to do imo. A magical Green Leopard Plague, if you will.

>dude hitler was good lmao xD

Damn druids are meddling with other people's prophecies again.
>Great Birnam wood to high Dunsinane Hill /Shall come against him

youtube.com/watch?v=v6AiqtJCm6A

>Does it hurt?
Its a tree growing in your skin, chances are its gonna tingle the nerves pretty hard. And also its a tree, you're gonna carry that weight?

Oh no no. The tree's are not feeding you.

They're feeding on you, you're walking, eating fertilizer.

He was a carpenter? That's fucking gold.

Trees were not specified as parasitic. They may be symbiotic in nature.
I mean probably not but shhh

It is going to be uncomfortable and bulky and probably slowly eating you to death.

>eating corpses
>Not consuming your still living victims
What a pleb

Then I find my own sect of druids and encourage them to modify the rituals and spells used to create a symbiotic relationship, rather than a parasitic, and hope that we can contact the original sect and come to some sort of compromise.

>It is now symbiotic, the tree shares it's glucose into your blood stream
>But still bulky, heavy and slowly filling your abdominal cavity with roots

That's fine. This is fine. Just teething troubles, is all.

God knows there are enough inefficiencies in the human body already, we can just swap some around. Optimise some other things to make room. Optimise the tree itself to prevent long term issues. Everything will be okay.

Everything wasn't okay.

The multiple personality detective knows.

Because they believe Mother Nature wants all living creatures to become one with the Earth.
Now go dig a hole and become one with the soil!

Their team lacked a counter to Water Types.

What a terrible fate.

It's the setup for a ritual which will drain the life forces of men, the trees acting as conduits.

>hitler breathed
Tell me again why any good person should breathe? Hitler did it! I mean come onfdgrso9t 4w0p9 e45''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

>user, 1995-2017

Powerful spell to call a great power needs special component, only a special half tree can be used

It's for art

>Carpenter
You just know he fucked with the wrong tree spirit.